Tag Archives: sharia

  Somehow Forgot To Leave Out A Bowl Of Communion Wafers

Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots

She seems nice
Thursday was “Texas Muslim Capitol Day,” an annual event held to encourage Muslim Texans to visit the state capitol in Austin and learn about state government and how to meet with lawmakers and such. Which means, of course, that a few Patriotic TexAmericans decided that the Muslims were taking over the Capitol so they can CRAM SHARIA LAW DOWN ARE THROATS!!!1!! There were angry protestors out on the statehouse lawn, and state Rep. Molly White left this important message on her FacePlaceSpace: Read more on Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots…
  theocracy in action

Cool Georgia GOP Candidate Pretty Sure The First Amendment Doesn’t Cover Muslims

Let us tell you about how yr Wonkette accidentally made a monster years ago, and only now is that chicken coming home to roost. (Mixed metaphors, whatever, fuck off.) In 2010, we mock-endorsed some ridiculous wingnut nobody for a Georgia Congressional race, just because we could. Our endorsee, Jody Hice, ended up doing surprisingly well in that race, but did not ascend to a House throne. The confidence boost he got from our backing clearly never disappeared, however, as Hice has now flung himself at the GOP primary for the 10th district of Georgia seat. No less a luminary than Erick Erickson has endorsed Hice, so you know he’s a quality severe wingnut extraordinaire. He also is a super First Amendment defender, except for the part where he doesn’t believe that the First Amendment covers Muslims. Let’s check out Jody’s website for his stirring defense of religious liberty first, shall we? Read more on Cool Georgia GOP Candidate Pretty Sure The First Amendment Doesn’t Cover Muslims…
  you call that a gaffe? this is a gaffe!

Adorable ‘Australia’s Sarah Palin’ Will Let The Jews Stay Because They Love Jesus; The Country ‘Islam’ Not So Much

Here is Stephanie Banister of Brisbane, who hopes to win a seat in Australia’s Parliament for the fringey, anti-immigrant One Nation Party. In an interview Wednesday with Channel 7 News, she said, “I don’t oppose Islam as a country, but I do feel that their laws should not be welcome here in Australia,” because after all, only 2% of Australians “follow haram.” Reporter Erin Edwards clarified that Banister probably meant “the Koran,” but we’re inclined to think she meant “sharia,” like such as. “Haram” means “sinful” and is kind of the opposite of “halal;” she might as well have said that only 2% of Aussies follow treyf. Her differently factual approach to politics is winning her comparisons to Sarah Palin, and while she has yet to gain a national following willing to throw money at her, she’s already learned one vital lesson from the Snowbilly Grifter: Banister is blaming the media for making her look bad, what with all those unflattering direct quotations. Read more on Adorable ‘Australia’s Sarah Palin’ Will Let The Jews Stay Because They Love Jesus; The Country ‘Islam’ Not So Much…
  just give us your freedoms for safekeeping

Move Over Texas And Arizoney, North Carolina Legislature Is In It To Win It

Folks in North Carolina have a funny way of celebrating freedom this Fourth of July. While many folks around this great land are canceling fireworks displays because of freedom-loving sequestration, North Carolina legislators are working on a bill to give women the freedom to not worry about control of their bodies! Don’t worry your pink-shoe-wearing selves, little ladies, the menfolk of the GOP legislature will take care of those decisions for you: A bill restricting abortions that popped up in the state Senate without public notice Tuesday evening and received swift approval would force clinics to meet expensive license requirements and make it more difficult for doctors to perform the procedures. Apparently they saw the ruckus caused by participatory democracy happening in Texas and figured that the best course of action would be to cram a bill through in the dead of night so that women-folk (and supportive men-folk, because WE COUNT TOO) wouldn’t have time to organize against it. Let’s explore other ways that the North Carolina legislature is seeking to undermine democracy in the name of freedom!  Read more on Move Over Texas And Arizoney, North Carolina Legislature Is In It To Win It…
  welcome to michissippi

‘Right To Work’ Possibly The Least Awful Thing To Happen In Michigan This Week

While everyone was focused on nerd-strongman Rick Snyder and the Council of Conservative Citizens Michigan legislature passing Right to Work with the deliberation normally required to order from the Taco Bell drive-thru, Michigan’s government was busy doing all kinds of other terrible things during their lamest of lame duck sessions. Let’s take a look at some items under consideration as part of Lansing’s plan to turn Michigan into a backwater that makes Saudi Arabia look progressive and Appalachia seem prosperous. Read more on ‘Right To Work’ Possibly The Least Awful Thing To Happen In Michigan This Week…
  dispatches from the fema camps

Comrade Obama Joins Wonkette War On Christmas With Halal Sharia Brigade

Americans Love Sharia!
Take a moment to remember where you were and what you were doing today because today, this Black Friday 2012, is likely the last time Americans will be allowed to partake in the sacred pre-Christmas tradition of lining up outside big box stores to purchase $5 DVD players. And not just because solid state media is basically obsolete. As everyone knows, Barack Obama is a secret Muslim. He plans to use his second term to implement Sharia Law and turn America into a socialist Islamist theocracy. That means Christmas will be outlawed in the FEMA Camps! Because Obama doesn’t like it when anyone else gives gifts — especially gifts for non-browns and non-sluts. To show you what this nightmare look like, Wonkette operatives bravely traveled to Dearborn, Michigan, where Sharia is already practiced openly, to infiltrate and document the Tehran-like Fairlane Town Center mall. Most American malls are currently engaged in the wholesome, Christian practice of over-commercializing Christmas, but things are very different at Fairlane. Take a good look because this is the hell that awaits us in Obama’s second term. Read more on Comrade Obama Joins Wonkette War On Christmas With Halal Sharia Brigade…
  how our brightest minds operate

Oh, Right, Remember When Michele Bachmann Was Researching Her Muslim Infiltration Letter on the Airplane?

Your Wonkette is so good at capitalizing on its comparative advantages during major news events that, umm… it’s taken us four days to remember that we had a post about someone in May who sat next to Michele Bachmann on a plane, while she was reading a dumb book about Muslim infiltration of the government. Who knew she would act on that? (Everybody.) Let’s call it a re-scoop and give ourselves some Pulitzers and filet mignon. Read more on Oh, Right, Remember When Michele Bachmann Was Researching Her Muslim Infiltration Letter on the Airplane?…
  one of these things is not like the other

Mosques Are Not Like Churches and Should Maybe Be Banned, Says Colorado Lawmaker

Do you have faith in your fellow (hu)man today?  If so, do you want it shattered real fast, somewhere within the next 250 words? AWESOME because Wonkette is here to help! Turns out that there was some sort of Conservative confab in Colorado a few days ago called the Western Conservative Summit, wherein conservative lawmakers from all over the state took time off from dealing with the most destructive wildfire in the Colorado’s history to meet with other conservatives and discuss important ideas that are key in helping us meet the challenges of the coming decades. KIDDING! They talked about Islam and how it will destroy everything we hold dear, probably even capitalism and DEFINITELY freedom , and one particularly sharp state senator realized that mosques are not like churches and therefore should maybe be banned: Read more on Mosques Are Not Like Churches and Should Maybe Be Banned, Says Colorado Lawmaker…
  walter chronkite wa a red

We Will Not Mock This Pamela Gellar Post Until A Doctor Assures Us She Did Not Have A Stroke

Charles Johnson at LittleGreenFootballs has taken a break from twirling his mustaches and imprisoning free-speech martyrs in their Twitter Killing Fields in order to find this primary source evidence of Pamela Gellar, Empress of Wingnuttia, speaking in tongues and blooging at the very same time. We will just steal the whole thing, because we are sure he doesn’t mind. Don’t let the giant block of crazy deter you from reading on and espying such eternal truths as “Walter Chronkite […] wa a red.” Gaze in wonder at the conseritave Id. Decades ago we cringed when any news story of corruption and collusion broke about our long venerated trusted newsmen We trusted those powerful subversive like Walter Cronkite, Dan Wallace, etc, These men with enormous power weilded it, abused it, and disseminated one of th =e world’s great campaigns of anti0merican disiinformation and propaganda. We remember Walter Chronkite, as a grandfather figure trusted iconclast when in fact he wa a red and did the country incalculable harm. Twenty years of the Chroncrite legacy and we ahve gonthat much further of the deep end. Media ia a propactvisit arm whose one goal – shape the news, change the ness, even live about the news to advance a collectivist, pro-sharia agandena. How else culd an unqualfied, bitter Ameria hater hold the eat in the Obama office. Have eight million more words of seizure, after the jump! Read more on We Will Not Mock This Pamela Gellar Post Until A Doctor Assures Us She Did Not Have A Stroke…
  #heblowsalot

Kansas Gov. Brownback Turns Attention To Non-Problem of Sharia Law

Having all but eliminated legal access to abortion in the state of Kansas and also made it harder for women to access affordable birth control, Governor “#heblowsalot” Sam Brownback can now turn his attention to creating problems for Muslim women in particular, rather than for all women in general. He is cleverly doing this through taking on the very pressing, very important non-problem of judges applying foreign law in American courtrooms. Read more on Kansas Gov. Brownback Turns Attention To Non-Problem of Sharia Law…
  'true story'

The AIG Bailout Was All A Dirty Trick To Spread Sharia

Now here’s one we hadn’t heard before, which hardly means it’s never been said: The AIG bailout was a means of conning the American taxpayer into supporting Sharia! Go ahead and laugh, this was only said by some random nutball — namely Jerry Boykin, a former high-ranking military and Defense Department intelligence division official. Read more on The AIG Bailout Was All A Dirty Trick To Spread Sharia…
  Secret Half-Muslin

Wingnut Anti-Tax Hero Grover Norquist Actually Muslim Extremist?

It was a long, long reign of terror. But slowly, and at long last, real conservatives are coming to understand the true identity of anti-tax Republican hero Grover H. Norquist: He’s a dangerous Muslim extremist! Important wingnut Internet Newspaper World Net Daily broke the news about the right-wing heartthrob, and now teabaggers nationwide are expected to quit supporting Norquist’s anti-tax policies and probably join the #Occupy Wall Streeters …. anything to avoid the creeping Shariah that is always creeping up the wingnuts’ legs and making them feel all tingly. Read more on Wingnut Anti-Tax Hero Grover Norquist Actually Muslim Extremist?…
  anthony weiner did 9/11?

Moonie Times: Weiner Maybe Showed His Weiner Because He’s Secretly Muslim

How is crazyland? Still crazy! Here’s what the Washington Times posted about a well-known Jewish man from New York: Given the defense articulated by the Imam, which would be offered only for a Muslim man, we must believe this opportunity to remove this Muslim woman from a union with an non-believer would be quickly taken. Therefore we must consider that Mr. Weiner *may* have converted to Islam, because if he did not, we have to consider the unlikely, that being that Ms. Abedin has abandoned her Muslim faith, even while she still practices. Read more on Moonie Times: Weiner Maybe Showed His Weiner Because He’s Secretly Muslim…
  the real plot

John Boehner Forced To Do Sharia By Giant Burqa Robot

Who is this mysterious giant sidekick standing by John Boehner? It’s wearing a burqa and seems poised to suicide-bomb him at any moment if he doesn’t do the Sharia they agreed upon earlier. WAKE UP, AMERICA, THERE ARE GIANT MUSLIM ROBOTS IN CONGRESS THIS VERY SECOND. [Reuters via Wonkette operative “Dan”] Read more on John Boehner Forced To Do Sharia By Giant Burqa Robot…
  it's morning in america

Brave Wingnut Crusades Against Creeping Sharia In Alaska

Sarah Palin’s “Alaska” is already gearing up to dismantle all the unions, forever. But what could make this embarrassing ice colony even more American? Probably a law that would prevent Muslims from honor-killing all the delicate white women, legally, in Alaska court! And hooray, this is exactly what some wingnut state representative wants, and he’s even introduced a bill that would stop “the potential of Islamic religious law — Sharia — from trumping the U.S. Constitution in Alaska courts.” The bill’s author, State Rep. Carl Gatto (R-Obviously), has received hundreds of supportive emails, as well as “phone calls from places like New Zealand, Poland and Israel in support of his bill.” Yes, the Alaska House of Representatives has a mandate from Poland to stop Islamic religious law in Juneau. (What is happening?) In retaliation, a member of the Islamic Community Center of Alaska sent Gatto an email politely asking him to stop being such a dumb asshole … Don’t Tread on Him! [ADN] Read more on Brave Wingnut Crusades Against Creeping Sharia In Alaska… Read more on Brave Wingnut Crusades Against Creeping Sharia In Alaska…
  ready for the job of bombing them

Pawlenty Destroyed Muslim Mortgage Program Because It Was All Muslim

As governor of Minnesota, Tim Pawlenty did something highly suspect: He promoted minority homeownership. “But owning your home is a white-people thing,” you say. “Because that’s how things were in the house I grew up in, back in the 1950s, where my dad beat my mother until every inch of her was bruised and then tended to his collection of murdered immigrants in the basement.” Yes, but Tim Pawlenty hates your America. And he even let MUSLIMS own homes, allowing a company to provide mortgages to Muslims that were structured so as to avoid charging interest, which many Muslims view as a violation of their religion. Thankfully for Pawlenty’s presidential hopes, however, he shut down this company as soon as he heard it was Muslim, and that is the reason why you weren’t forced to pray to SHARIA this morning and put SHARIA in your oatmeal and make sure your SHARIA made it to their school bus on time. Read more on Pawlenty Destroyed Muslim Mortgage Program Because It Was All Muslim…
  bloody blood bloods

British Sharia Protestors Giving American Bigots Run For Their Money

Muslim, muslamic law, from Iraq, you know. Muslamic ray-guns? We’re not quite sure what this bloke is saying (something about the metric system and putting blood in their pudding cups?), but we know these guys are better than our bigots. When’s the last time you saw a mosk protest in the United States? Back in the summer before all the teevee shows returned for the fall schedule! Our shriveled-up old bigots are too lazy to protect us from Sharia. And just look at that video! You can fit a lot more bigots into your rally thing when you’re not all in scooters! Read more on British Sharia Protestors Giving American Bigots Run For Their Money…
  m-m-m-my sharia

Another Patriotic White American Saved By Sharia Law

That CIA dude who shot those Muslims dead in Pakistan has been released! Yay. How did he do it? By following Sharia Law. Apparently, you just give the relatives of the people you killed a shitload of (U.S. taxpayer) money and blammo, you’re free (to kill again, for America). Read more on Another Patriotic White American Saved By Sharia Law…
  they hate us just because we kill them all

National Review Writer Accidentally Writes True Thing

This doesn’t ever really happen, so we thought the moment should be memorialized: Andrew McCarthy, the National Review/”Brat Pack” blogger, wrote a sentence that in its clarity and honesty is unlike all other National Review Online sentences: “What really increases terrorist recruitment is invading Muslim countries, killing Muslims there, and staying to try to build Western democracies.” The context? Who cares! We are not reading the whole thing because it will just be dumb, and probably about how Muslims could have American Democracy if they wanted, but they don’t, because they hate freedom and love sharia. Oh no, now we’re going to have to look and see if he actually wrote that, too … yep, he wrote it. Read more on National Review Writer Accidentally Writes True Thing…
  nation of retard GOP legislators

TN State Senator Writes ‘Long Form Birth Certificate’ Bill, Has No Idea What ‘Long Form Birth Certificate’ Is

Across this dumb nation, state legislators are introducing bills against “Sharia,” whoever she might be, and bills requiring all new presidents to have “long form birth certificates,” whatever those happen to be. Read more on TN State Senator Writes ‘Long Form Birth Certificate’ Bill, Has No Idea What ‘Long Form Birth Certificate’ Is…
  just legalize muslim murder and be done with it congress

Terrorist Conspiracy Takes Muslim-Hating Congressman’s Wife Off Radio

Republican former Congressman and guy who played Gopher on The Love Boat Fred Grandy apparently spends his time these days hosting a conservative radio show. And, naturally, he likes to have his wife come on his show as a special guest under the undecipherable pseudonym “Mrs. Fred” to talk about birther crap and how a vast conspiracy of Muslims, who are, of course, all terrorists, are planning to take down the U.S. from the inside. Unfortunately, this Muslim conspiracy heard about her exposing the truth and secretly, with a dash of Sharia and a pinch of caliphate, got Grandy’s radio station to ask him and his wife to tone down the crazy. And you can’t tell crazy to stop being crazy, so they quit. Read more on Terrorist Conspiracy Takes Muslim-Hating Congressman’s Wife Off Radio…
  but surely her intuition is still good

Pamela Geller Was Tricked By James O’Keefe’s Sharia Website

Top GZ Mosk bigotry advocate Pamela Geller is always on the lookout for Sharia sneaking into American law, which is why she sleeps at night with one arm around stacks of legal code and the other holding a shotgun. When she ran across the fake website James O’Keefe set up for his “NPR employees also have personal opinions about the world” sting, she knew she had found another Sharia smoking gun. Whoops! Yeah, she totally has a block-quote button on her blog software, and she knows how to use it; seeing “MEAC is a servant of Islam, and may peace be upon us all” on the site, she responds: “I’d rather blow up the world than live as a slave.” Oh, so Pamela Geller is going to blow up the entire world now? Speaking of terrorists… Read more on Pamela Geller Was Tricked By James O’Keefe’s Sharia Website…