Ohio player Tony Walker sends us this picture of a super-scary Halloween yard display, in his yard, in Ohio. “I stole the TeaBagger style for the sign (lettering and such) but restructured the message to a leftest/socialist theme,” Tony types to us. So is this our first “costume picture” of Halloween Eve? Come on people, send your political fun costume pix NOW. But don’t go as “Sexy Nancy Pelosi” because that one’s taken … by Nancy Pelosi!

BILL CLINTON SAVES LADIES FROM NORTH KOREA: Uhh, hooray! In a “private mission” rife with secret diplomatic motives and back-door conversations with the U.S. government, Bill Clinton hopped on a jetplane to North Korea, talked up Kim Jong Il for a while, probably offered him exclusive bidding rights to various natural resource contracts in autocratic third-world countries, and won the release of those two American journalists who had been sentenced to HARD LABOR back in March. Okay, Bill Clinton! [CNN]

Oh ho ho! Now how did we miss this? How did we miss the BOEHNER BEACH PARTY? Must’ve been one sloppy, sloppy meat market… for orange people. [Think Progress]

Here is our old op-ed friend David Brooks, who has turned a lovely shade of Holiday Orange, talking about the sexy night when some old Republican senator was just putting the moves on anybody within old-man groping distance … even David Brooks! MORE »

*Cracks knuckles* TIME FOR THE POST OF THE CENTU– eh, nevermind, too mean. Just thought you all should be aware that the Proverbial Website has been discovered. Right now it’s mostly just a few… dudes… but down the road, its membership should easily surpass Hannidate’s. [Ron Paul Singles]

Really, come on, what the hell? South Carolina state senator and fellow Republican Jake Knotts has this to say about Mark Sanford’s secret sexytime: “I found out that he was taking frequent trips at odd times of the night in a South Carolina Law Enforcement Division car with no security. He would be driving. I got wind that he had taken another one of these types of capers last Thursday, and that nobody knew who he was with.” [CNN]

JOHN ‘NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2′ ENSIGN ADMITS SEX AFFAIR: Jesus, so much to post… this idiot, Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada, has admitted to having a sex affair with a female campaign staffer, in 2007 and 2008. Some aide in Ensign’s office outed the boss, whoops. So until we know more, *ahem*… PICS PLZ? [The Fix, AP]

Well, Barack Obama has failed again. The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined, according to an idiotic new study which also revealed that 5% of Americans want to meet and have their topless picture taken with teevee’s Hannah Montana. MORE »

HMM. And what is with the clown socks? [TMZ]

While the rest of you dumb slobs are dying of Mexican Carnitas Influenza, losing your jobs and being forced at gunpoint by census takers to buy a fucking Chrysler, Barack Obama plays sexy basketball with a bunch of hot-as-hell tall girls in fancy dresses. [White House]

Here’s Joe Biden this morning telling us all that we’re going to die if we travel in confined spaces (2:35 in). Hooray! And better yet, the swine flu has finally “come home” to our nation’s capital, Washington, after some slob at the World Bank (*shakes fist at World Bank*) went to Mexico, fucked a pig, and came back to our fairest city with this Pig AIDS. So hey people in DC, liquidate yr bank accounts and buy booze and we’ll hold a big orgy on the Mall tonight before we all die tomorrow. On the upside, this will fix the economy! The death of all humans, that is. [AP]