Tag Archives: sexual harassment

  the wrong kind of badger

WI Majority Leader Likes To Put His Hands On Ladies’ Boobs or Butts, We Don’t Know Which, Maybe Both (Allegedly)

Hey ladies. You know how the GOP is all wanting you to like them? And not just like them, but like them like them, because of how you are all slutty whoremonsters who vote for Democrats? Well, the Wisconsin State Assembly GOP Majority Leader is seeking to give ‘women’s outreach’ his personal touch. Unfortunately, he did not take the Boehner-approved class on good touch/bad touch, per the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: Assembly Majority Leader Bill Kramer may resign from his leadership post as soon as Saturday after being accused of sexually harassing at least two women while in Washington, D.C., for a GOP fundraiser. Protip for all GOP officials: don’t take a hands-on approach to give that personal touch to women voters, because Mad Men is a teevee show and not real life anymore.  Read more on WI Majority Leader Likes To Put His Hands On Ladies’ Boobs or Butts, We Don’t Know Which, Maybe Both (Allegedly)…
  don't stand so close to me

Illinois Governor Candidate Likes To Sexually Harass Entire Planet (Allegedly)

Illinois Treasurer Dan Rutherford would really like to be Governor, but he’s got a teensy little problem: persistent rumors that he’s gay (a possible electoral drawback for someone with an “R” after his name) and worse, rumors that he had sexually harassed male staffers. And then Monday, staffer Ed Michalowski, Rutherford’s director of community affairs and marketing, filed a federal lawsuit claiming that Rutherford had made unwanted advances toward him, and that Rutherford’s chief of staff ignored Michalowski’s complaints as well. Michalowski resigned last week, and told the Chicago Sun-Times that he’d quit because he feared retaliation. Are there salacious details? You bet there are! Go ahead and keep reading to satisfy your prurient curiosity — we won’t judge you. Sicko. Read more on Illinois Governor Candidate Likes To Sexually Harass Entire Planet (Allegedly)…
  master and commander

Go Away, The Army General’s Batin’

The problem of misconduct by America’s Military Leaders is a very serious matter that deserves serious attention. Happily, many fine publications are doing that, so let’s talk about this WaPo story about the fapping colonel. As part of a story on officers being less than gentlemen, the Post found the tale of Brigadier General Martin P. Schweitzer, a commander with the 82nd Airborne, who was so thrizzled to meet just-elected North Carolina Rep. Jocelyn RENEE (sorry, fap-story-related free-association brainfart) Ellmers in 2011 that he just had to send an email to a couple of other officers about how “smoking hot” the congresslady was. And then in a reply to a follow-up email, Schweitzer had to explain his tardy reply: More than an hour later, Schweitzer responded with an apology for the delay, saying he had masturbated “3 times over the past 2 hours” after the meeting with the congresswoman. Does WaPo share the full email with us? It does not. Sad state that journalism is in today. Read more on Go Away, The Army General’s Batin’…
  stay harassy new york

Gross New York (Alleged) (Just Kidding) Sexual Harrasser Dennis Gabryszak Made a Gross Video, Ick

Just to prove that a gross story about a nasty human being can ALWAYS get grosser and nastier, we have this update to the story of former New York State Assemblyman Dennis Gabryszak, who resigned last weekend after multiple women accused him of sexual harassment. And although he resigned, he also claimed that he hadn’t been harassy, no not one bit, just that he and some ladies had enjoyed some “mutual banter and exchanges” that were not workplace-appropriate, but totally not the harassment, no sir. And so John Bartolome, an attorney for six of the seven of the women accusing Gabryszak of harassment released a video of Gabryszak in a bathroom stall, either masturbating or maybe pretending he’s getting the oral sex, or lord only knows what (we do not want to look at it too many times). It was just a little a gift that Gabryszak sent to several of the women. Do we have the video for you? Hahaha, does a bear shit in the woods and send a video of it to the Pope? Read more on Gross New York (Alleged) (Just Kidding) Sexual Harrasser Dennis Gabryszak Made a Gross Video, Ick…
  wonkette brings you the hard news

Roger Ailes Unhappy About New Biography That Says Roger Ailes Is Terrible, Angry, Horny Sexmonster

It is a bit quiet news-wise today, so let us talk about Roger Ailes’ dick. Oh sure, we could talk about any other subject under the sun besides Roger Ailes’ dick. The terrible cold weather, the latest slap on the wrist for JPMorgan, S.E. Cupp taking the early lead for dumbest column any pundit will write in 2014. But are any of those subjects really more interesting than Roger Ailes’ dick? We think the question answers itself. Here is why we are thinking about Roger Ailes’ dick. The New York Times got its hands on a copy of Gabriel Sherman’s new biography of the walking tub of chicken fat and his dick, and one of the funnier stories involves Randi Anderson, a television producer who went to work for CNBC when Ailes was running that channel twenty years ago. Anderson alleges that Ailes offered her an extra $100 a week to have sex with him whenever he wanted. Because when you are Roger Ailes, you are entitled to an in-house concubine at your office, even if you want to pay well below what we imagine was the market rate for a prostitute in New York City in the early 1990s. Read more on Roger Ailes Unhappy About New Biography That Says Roger Ailes Is Terrible, Angry, Horny Sexmonster…
  dickcember

Here Is Your Yuletide Sexual Harassment, Of Some Ladies So It’s Definitely A Democrat

“I got a boner when I walked into the office today when I saw you,” New York Assemblyman Dennis Gabryszak, 62, (ALLEGEDLY) told his 28-year-old communications director. That is so sweet! What young lady doesn’t want to feel pretty and powerful, knowing she can make an admirer get blood in his peepee until it throbs turgid and firm? But is that communications director the only one of Gabryszak’s employees to (ALLEGEDLY) be complimented by the New York Dem? Not according to the three ladies filing suit against him! They claim he was constantly talking about his cock, and the strip clubs he liked to go to, and their butts, and they are all mad about it, like a bunch of missish dumb prudes! They did not even appreciate it when he would look at them and ask if they were gonna make out together, all lesby-like! We know we always appreciated a boss who cared about us and wanted us to be social and make new friends! Read more on Here Is Your Yuletide Sexual Harassment, Of Some Ladies So It’s Definitely A Democrat…
  Today's secret word is booooooooobies

Please Stop Raping Rush Limbaugh With Your Gazongas

Well, kids, we’ve cracked the code on today’s Republican talking point: boobie-staring freedoms and how the liberals are trying to take even that away from us. First, the Daily Caller reported that progressives are trying to “take away our activities” of staring at boobies, which is a “freedom” right there in the Constitution (written in invisible ink, apparently) gifted to us by James Madison and Thomas Jefferson. And now Rush Limbaugh is here to also vomit words about boobie-staring freedoms, but he has a modest proposal for how to fight back against the scourge of freedom-killing liberals: So let me offer a first suggestion, the first way to deal with this that came into my mind. You find yourself staring, looking at, casually glancing at a woman, but you know that it’s now socially taboo. You shouldn’t be doing it. And you think everybody is noticing you doing it and condemning you in their minds. You shouldn’t — so you walk up to the woman and say, “Will you please ask your breasts to stop staring at my eyes?” Try that. Might help. And you don’t know ’til you try it. It is merely “human nature,” Rush explained, which liberals “just despise … and try to alter it and change it and create it.” Everyone knows the only acceptable way to alter human nature is to pop some illegally obtained Viagra to make your naturally limp dick, which God saw fit to give you since everything comes from him obviously, more turgid. Ahem. Read more on Please Stop Raping Rush Limbaugh With Your Gazongas…
  stare case

Daily Caller Warns: Liberals Gonna Claw Out Men’s Eyes So They Can’t Stare At Boobies

Leering homunculus Patrick Howley saw a link to a social science abstract somewhere (no, Mr. Howley, do not try to convince us that’s from your casual reading) about this study that seems to confirm that, yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as an “objectifying gaze” — and decided, based on absolutely nothing in the abstract’s description of the study, that the obvious result of such research is that liberals are going to outlaw men looking at women below the neck, because that’s just how liberals do. But, but, but, he whines, he likes staring at boobies! And liberals want to ruin that, because they are addicted to regulating everything, including Patrick Howley’s wandering eyes: This is what the progressives exist to do. They take away our activities. If it’s an activity and it’s kind of fun or pleasurable, the progressives are going to take it away. That’s the very basis of their personality type. They’re the regulators. The hall monitors. We had never really thought of ogling mammalian protuberances as an “activity,” and we’re reasonably sure you can’t get a merit badge or certification in it. Then again, maybe Patrick Howley owns a “Bikini Inspector” badge that he feels he’s earned through years of study. Read more on Daily Caller Warns: Liberals Gonna Claw Out Men’s Eyes So They Can’t Stare At Boobies…
  secret service moved to 'naughty' list

Secret Service Ruining Blowvember With Creepy Hotel Antics

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, people, you keep getting Blowvember all wrong. First, CBS tries to co-opt it by blowing every news story it reports on. And now the Secret Service is being super-creepy with the ladies, according to the Washington Post. It seems that this past spring, a Secret Service agent was trying to force his way into a woman’s hotel room. NO!! BAD SECRET SERVICE!! NOT OK!! This dumbassery led to an internal investigation, which revealed some more bad behavior by this agent and another dude. As everyone knows, Blowvember is about sexual scandal, but not the creepy or rapey kind. It should be a celebration, but the only person who seems to keep the spirit of Blowvember in his heart is Rob Ford. AMERICA, WE CAN’T OUTSOURCE BLOWVEMBER TO THE CANADIANS! Let’s get it together, people.  Read more on Secret Service Ruining Blowvember With Creepy Hotel Antics…
  he rests his case!

Herman Cain Has Found The Real Groper, And It Is ‘The Devil’

Herman Cain has spent the past two years trying to clear his name of wrongful accusations that he groped that lady, and the other lady, and that third chick, and we think two other ones as well it is hard to keep straight! That is, he has been working to clear his name for the past two years except for the part where he has done anything to try to clear his name. This is because when one is accused of sexxxxytime shenanigans and quid pro ew behaviors, it is important to stand and fight them in a timely manner, unless you don’t really have anything to back you up. But Herman Cain does! He has “evidence”! And that “evidence” leads him to state unequivocally that he has found the real groper, and that groper is The Devil, squeezing and frottaging all up in those women’s brains until they all levitated from their beds and fingered Goody Cain (gross) for a witch! A sexxxxy witch! Let’s sexplore! Read more on Herman Cain Has Found The Real Groper, And It Is ‘The Devil’…
  quid pro ew

Los Angeles Councilman Jose Huizar Absolutely Did Not Harass That Employee He Boned

Los Angeles City Councilman Jose Huizar (D – duh, we did say “Los Angeles,” and also sexual harassment, right?), did you sexually harass that employee you were consensually boning? No? Okay, cool then, nothing to see here bye! [Francine] Godoy, 34, said in her lawsuit that Huizar cut back her duties “significantly” and ordered her to work from home after she refused his advances. “Plaintiff would sit at home much of her time with no work to perform since she was being retaliated against by Huizar due to her refusal to have sex with him,” the lawsuit says. Godoy said she ultimately was forced to quit her job and took a position at the city’s Bureau of Sanitation. Los Angeles City Councilman, is Francine Godoy just a malicious witch and woman scorned? She is? Okay, cool then, nothing to … Read more on Los Angeles Councilman Jose Huizar Absolutely Did Not Harass That Employee He Boned…
  stay harassy san diego

Former San Diego Mayor Filner Pleads Guilty To Criminal Horribleness, Aggravated Jerkosity

Serial creepmeister and former San Diego Mayor Bob Filner pleaded guilty yesterday to a single count of felony false imprisonment and two counts of misdemeanor battery. Under the plea deal, he will not go to jail, but will be prevented from ever holding public office again. The Democrat (and former Congressman) resigned in August following a series of sexual harassment accusations brought by pretty much every woman who ever stood within the same zip code with him. Read more on Former San Diego Mayor Filner Pleads Guilty To Criminal Horribleness, Aggravated Jerkosity…
  let's just get the 'KY sexual harassment' jokes out of the way now OK?

Kentucky State Representatives: If These Ladies Were Embarrassed By Harassment, Why’d They Go and Tell Everyone, Huh?

As surely as the leaves must change and the birds must fly south (but just a few miles, because global warming), Cocktober inevitably brings with it stories of elected officials behaving like a bunch of bonobos, only without the social graces. From Kentucky, for instance, we have the tale of former state Rep. John Arnold (D), who resigned in September “after two women filed ethics charges against him for sexual harassment which, they claimed, had gone unchecked for years.” And now, more lawsuits in the case! State Rep. Will Coursey (D), who sits on the Legislative Research Commission that’s supposed to investigate claims of misconduct, has also been accused of sexual harassment. Just another case of the foxes guarding the fox house! Of course, if these guys were Democrats, Wonkette would never cover it. Read more on Kentucky State Representatives: If These Ladies Were Embarrassed By Harassment, Why’d They Go and Tell Everyone, Huh?…
  stay harassy san diego

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner To Resign, Pursue Private Sector Opportunities In Sexual Harassment

As part of a mediation deal in his sexual harassment lawsuit, San Diego’s creepy harassment Mayor Bob Filner is expected to resign Friday. Filner was seen removing boxes from City Hall yesterday and loading them into an SUV, so it appears that he will not have to be escorted from the building by Security. It was not known if he had the boxes’ consent to have his hands all over them. Read more on San Diego Mayor Bob Filner To Resign, Pursue Private Sector Opportunities In Sexual Harassment…
  chicken fried justice

Paula Deen’s Long National Whitemare Finally Over (Partly)

A federal judge dismissed a racial discrimination suit against Diabeetus Queen Paula Deen Monday, ruling that plaintiff Lisa Jackson, who is white, could not have been harmed by the use of racist epithets in the workplace by Deen and her brother Bubba Hiers (a story which Yr. Wonkette broke back in April 2012). District Court Judge William T. Moore Jr. wrote “There are no allegations that [Deen’s] racially offensive comments were either directed toward plaintiff or made with the intent to harass her.” Presumably, Jackson couldn’t have been harmed by Bubba praising her money management by calling her his “little Jew girl,” either. Moore left in place sexual harassment claims against Deen and her business. It is not anticipated that the fact that Jackson and Deen are both women will be cause for dismissal. Read more on Paula Deen’s Long National Whitemare Finally Over (Partly)…
  why's there no warning on these toothpicks not to stick them in my eye?

Creepy San Diego Mayor Only Did Sexual Harassment To All Those Chicks ‘Cause No One Told Him Not To

You know how San Diego Mayor Bob “Dirty Old Man” Filner is, like, the creepiest mayor what ever mayored and sexually harassed three four ALL the women? Well, don’t get your panties in a twist; his lawyer says it’s not his fault! “The city has a legal obligation to provide sexual harassment training to all management level employees,” wrote attorney Harvey Berger in a letter requesting the city pay Filner’s legal bills in defense of the lawsuit filed by his former communications director. […] On the issue of potential damages, Berger wrote, “The city may be strictly liable for any sexual harassment by a supervisor, even if it had no reason to know of it. So, of course, the city should have a strong interest in making certain that Mayor Filner has the resources to defend himself.” Hey, everyone, let’s drop a whole bunch of acid and try to follow that logic! Read more on Creepy San Diego Mayor Only Did Sexual Harassment To All Those Chicks ‘Cause No One Told Him Not To…