Tag Archives: sexual harassment

  he rests his case!

Herman Cain Has Found The Real Groper, And It Is ‘The Devil’

Herman Cain has spent the past two years trying to clear his name of wrongful accusations that he groped that lady, and the other lady, and that third chick, and we think two other ones as well it is hard to keep straight! That is, he has been working to clear his name for the past two years except for the part where he has done anything to try to clear his name. This is because when one is accused of sexxxxytime shenanigans and quid pro ew behaviors, it is important to stand and fight them in a timely manner, unless you don’t really have anything to back you up. But Herman Cain does! He has “evidence”! And that “evidence” leads him to state unequivocally that he has found the real groper, and that groper is The Devil, squeezing and frottaging all up in those women’s brains until they all levitated from their beds and fingered Goody Cain (gross) for a witch! A sexxxxy witch! Let’s sexplore! Read more on Herman Cain Has Found The Real Groper, And It Is ‘The Devil’…
  quid pro ew

Los Angeles Councilman Jose Huizar Absolutely Did Not Harass That Employee He Boned

Los Angeles City Councilman Jose Huizar (D – duh, we did say “Los Angeles,” and also sexual harassment, right?), did you sexually harass that employee you were consensually boning? No? Okay, cool then, nothing to see here bye! [Francine] Godoy, 34, said in her lawsuit that Huizar cut back her duties “significantly” and ordered her to work from home after she refused his advances. “Plaintiff would sit at home much of her time with no work to perform since she was being retaliated against by Huizar due to her refusal to have sex with him,” the lawsuit says. Godoy said she ultimately was forced to quit her job and took a position at the city’s Bureau of Sanitation. Los Angeles City Councilman, is Francine Godoy just a malicious witch and woman scorned? She is? Okay, cool then, nothing to … Read more on Los Angeles Councilman Jose Huizar Absolutely Did Not Harass That Employee He Boned…
  stay harassy san diego

Former San Diego Mayor Filner Pleads Guilty To Criminal Horribleness, Aggravated Jerkosity

Serial creepmeister and former San Diego Mayor Bob Filner pleaded guilty yesterday to a single count of felony false imprisonment and two counts of misdemeanor battery. Under the plea deal, he will not go to jail, but will be prevented from ever holding public office again. The Democrat (and former Congressman) resigned in August following a series of sexual harassment accusations brought by pretty much every woman who ever stood within the same zip code with him. Read more on Former San Diego Mayor Filner Pleads Guilty To Criminal Horribleness, Aggravated Jerkosity…
  let's just get the 'KY sexual harassment' jokes out of the way now OK?

Kentucky State Representatives: If These Ladies Were Embarrassed By Harassment, Why’d They Go and Tell Everyone, Huh?

As surely as the leaves must change and the birds must fly south (but just a few miles, because global warming), Cocktober inevitably brings with it stories of elected officials behaving like a bunch of bonobos, only without the social graces. From Kentucky, for instance, we have the tale of former state Rep. John Arnold (D), who resigned in September “after two women filed ethics charges against him for sexual harassment which, they claimed, had gone unchecked for years.” And now, more lawsuits in the case! State Rep. Will Coursey (D), who sits on the Legislative Research Commission that’s supposed to investigate claims of misconduct, has also been accused of sexual harassment. Just another case of the foxes guarding the fox house! Of course, if these guys were Democrats, Wonkette would never cover it. Read more on Kentucky State Representatives: If These Ladies Were Embarrassed By Harassment, Why’d They Go and Tell Everyone, Huh?…
  stay harassy san diego

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner To Resign, Pursue Private Sector Opportunities In Sexual Harassment

As part of a mediation deal in his sexual harassment lawsuit, San Diego’s creepy harassment Mayor Bob Filner is expected to resign Friday. Filner was seen removing boxes from City Hall yesterday and loading them into an SUV, so it appears that he will not have to be escorted from the building by Security. It was not known if he had the boxes’ consent to have his hands all over them. Read more on San Diego Mayor Bob Filner To Resign, Pursue Private Sector Opportunities In Sexual Harassment…
  chicken fried justice

Paula Deen’s Long National Whitemare Finally Over (Partly)

A federal judge dismissed a racial discrimination suit against Diabeetus Queen Paula Deen Monday, ruling that plaintiff Lisa Jackson, who is white, could not have been harmed by the use of racist epithets in the workplace by Deen and her brother Bubba Hiers (a story which Yr. Wonkette broke back in April 2012). District Court Judge William T. Moore Jr. wrote “There are no allegations that [Deen’s] racially offensive comments were either directed toward plaintiff or made with the intent to harass her.” Presumably, Jackson couldn’t have been harmed by Bubba praising her money management by calling her his “little Jew girl,” either. Moore left in place sexual harassment claims against Deen and her business. It is not anticipated that the fact that Jackson and Deen are both women will be cause for dismissal. Read more on Paula Deen’s Long National Whitemare Finally Over (Partly)…
  why's there no warning on these toothpicks not to stick them in my eye?

Creepy San Diego Mayor Only Did Sexual Harassment To All Those Chicks ‘Cause No One Told Him Not To

You know how San Diego Mayor Bob “Dirty Old Man” Filner is, like, the creepiest mayor what ever mayored and sexually harassed three four ALL the women? Well, don’t get your panties in a twist; his lawyer says it’s not his fault! “The city has a legal obligation to provide sexual harassment training to all management level employees,” wrote attorney Harvey Berger in a letter requesting the city pay Filner’s legal bills in defense of the lawsuit filed by his former communications director. […] On the issue of potential damages, Berger wrote, “The city may be strictly liable for any sexual harassment by a supervisor, even if it had no reason to know of it. So, of course, the city should have a strong interest in making certain that Mayor Filner has the resources to defend himself.” Hey, everyone, let’s drop a whole bunch of acid and try to follow that logic! Read more on Creepy San Diego Mayor Only Did Sexual Harassment To All Those Chicks ‘Cause No One Told Him Not To…
  you stay harassy san diego

On Whom Is San Diego Mayor Bob Filner Creeping Today?

In today’s edition of Political Rock Out With Your Cock Out, four more women have come forward to accuse San Diego Mayor Bob Filner, who is obviously not a Democrat or Wonkette would not be writing about him, of being a serial creeper who can’t ever be in a room with a woman without very kindly offering to jizz on her tits. This brings the total number of Filner’s accusers to seven women, or 14 tits. Read more on On Whom Is San Diego Mayor Bob Filner Creeping Today?…
  stay harassy san diego

San Diego Mayor Total Sex Creep, Yet Not a Republican, What Up With That?

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is being pressured to resign after a number of former supporters have come forward with accusations that the first-term Democrat had sexually harassed them. While the mayor has released a video in which he apologizes for treating women on his staff disrespectfully, even admitting “I need help,” Filner also somehow thinks that the accusations from multiple sources are all just a big misunderstanding and he will just take some classes to make everything better, and a full investigation will clear his name because he is just a really friendly guy who likes to hug everyone and we think we need a bucket, urrrrggghhh. Of course, Wonkette isn’t covering this story, because Filner is a Democrat. Read more on San Diego Mayor Total Sex Creep, Yet Not a Republican, What Up With That?…
  Hey baby wanna feel my constitutional rights?

John McCain Writes Sternly Worded Letter To Uphold The Sanctity Of Traditional Sexual Harassment

While Texas Republicans are working hard to protect some awful men who do not understand what abortion is from regretting their abortions, Republicans in Washington are working hard to protect your constitutional right to sexually harass hot chicks. Over the past month, conservatives and libertarians have criticized efforts to curb sexual harassment on college campuses as “de-eroticizing universities” and claimed they violate free speech. Now, Sen. John McCain has jumped on the bandwagon in a letter to Attorney General Eric Holder. […] [T]he agreement in question was reached by the DOJ and OCR with the University of Montana in May in an effort to prevent sexual harassment and assault following a string of high-profile cases and subsequent mishandling by campus authorities. In one particularly notable case, a woman who reported her attempted rape was told “not to expect much” and told that half of all rape allegations were false. The final agreement is so measured that it has been met only with hopeful skepticism from campus activists. No, we are not kidding. Yes, we wish we were kidding. Definitely, we need all the drinks after reading these words — Jesus H. Ass-grabbing Christ, soooo many words — from John McCain, who is so old, he remembers when he used to have to grab your ass uphill in the snow both ways. All because, as we previously ‘splained at you, Obama and Holder and the Dworkin-MacKinnon wing of the Democratic Party (wait, isn’t that the whole party?) want to ruin college sexytime. Bastards! We will share the greatest highlights for you because really, no one should read the whole thing, and besides, we do not want to share our drinks with you, which you’d need if you read them yourselves. Read more on John McCain Writes Sternly Worded Letter To Uphold The Sanctity Of Traditional Sexual Harassment…
  A Journey Into the Mind of Whats

EXCLUSIVELY YOURS, James O’Keefe’s 13 Most Delusional Passages From His Uncorrected Memoir Galleys

Today occasions the publication of James O’Keefe’s first foray into longform prose, with his semi-autobiographical fantasy novel Breakthrough: I Did Not Title This After Chapter 6 In Andrew Breitbart’s Memoir! Shut Up! Jesus! Shut the Hell Up! Even though Mary McCue — James’ publicist at Threshold Editions (an embarrassing division of Simon & Shuster) — mysteriously never sent us the advanced copy she promised, we still managed to secure one for ourselves after a quick undercover sting. Having now read the damn thing, we are here to spare you the $16-to-$26 you might have spent ironically purchasing this book. (But yes, that is a purchase link. Can’t say we didn’t warn you.) After the jump, prepare to enact O’Keefe’s “Veritas Rule” #24: Walk a mile in your enemy’s head. (Siqq, bro! These rules are INTENSE! We’re In Yo Heeeeeaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!!) Read more on EXCLUSIVELY YOURS, James O’Keefe’s 13 Most Delusional Passages From His Uncorrected Memoir Galleys…
  could your first amendment please stop staring at my tits please?

Why Is Obama Ruining College Sexiness With All These Dumb Sexual Harassment Rules?

You may have been under the impression that conservatives are mostly worried about too much sexxytime, anywhere — at least for other people — but it turns out that at least a few conservative stalwarts don’t worry as much about sinful fornicatin’ so much. Instead, some fear that Barack Obama is secretly just a big old fun-hating 1970s-style Dworkin-MacKinnon feminist who wants to “de-eroticize” campus life and criminalize even the most innocuous expression of sexual thinking as “sexual harassment.” And he probably won’t allow ladies to shave their armpits, or tilt their heads charmingly when they laugh, either. He’s already forced everyone to buy health insurance — can mandatory Birkenstocks be far behind? Read more on Why Is Obama Ruining College Sexiness With All These Dumb Sexual Harassment Rules?…
  Boys will be boys

GOP: Rape Is Just Nature’s Way of Keeping Women Out of Military

Holy fucking shitbags, GOP, are you even trying to compete for the womyn vote anymore? If you are, you are doing a fantastically terrible job and it, and all libruls should just hope you continue talking right up to election day, because you are seriously going above and beyond the call of duty. The Senate Armed Services Committee held a hearing on the rampant sexual assault epidemic that is happening all over the military. You know – rapes, groping, pats on the ass, sexual intimidation, things womyn whine about while they are on the rag, right? Chicks, man. First up, we have Sen. Grumpy McPoopypants from Arizona. We are used to chuckling at McCain because he is a dottering olde fool who seems cranky all the time, but this time he went from absent-minded “I don’t know how many houses I own” and calling his wife a trollop cunt to straight up sexist piece of ratshit: Sen. John McCain is so disturbed by rampant sexual assault in the military that he cannot give his “unconditional support” to women thinking of joining the armed services. Notice how he doesn’t say that men are the problem? Apparently, the problem with 26,000 women (and some men) facing sexual assault is just too many damn women. You ladies would be better off just cleaning or something, k? You do not have John McCain’s “unconditional support” to volunteer to risk your FUCKING LIVES to protect this cowardly, wrinkly waste of skin yapping his oversized jowls about not supporting you. Here’s a suggestion: men should stop being rapey, and if they persist, perhaps kick their ass out of the military and make the military FUCKING SAFE. Perhaps you can get off your pathetic ass and write a piece of legislation that makes it better, rather than just telling women to think twice about joining the military. But then, did things get worse with old Republican men opening their cockholsters about rapes in the military? Oh, Lucy, they did! Read more on GOP: Rape Is Just Nature’s Way of Keeping Women Out of Military…
  winged dickery

Wanker At 30,000 Feet: United Airlines Sued After Letting Man Treat Aisle Seat As His Very Own Cockpit

An 18 year old airline passenger is suing the pants off United Airlines after a flight crew took no action on her repeated complaints about a disgusting passenger who was “masturbating and exposing his penis” for “long periods” on a six-hour flight last October. Monica Amestoy, who was 17 at the time, is seeking damages for negligence, intentional infliction of emotional distress and false imprisonment. Yr Wonkette hopes that United is also found liable on grounds of Aggravated What the Fuck, Man? and recommends that everyone who ignored Ms. Amestoy’s complaints is sent.enced to sit next to some sweaty wheezing guy in a cramped commuter jet. With a broken toilet. And seat-kicking toddlers behind them. Forever. Read more on Wanker At 30,000 Feet: United Airlines Sued After Letting Man Treat Aisle Seat As His Very Own Cockpit…
  the few the proud

Marines Storm Sexual Harassment Party, Beat Up Navy, Army, Air Force

Seems like of late the military just cannot sate its appetite for sexually harassing ladies. The Air Force and the Army have been all about hiring dudes to prevent sexual harassment but said dudes have an unfortunate tendency to be sexual harassers, but the Marines have really lagged behind in the “how to treat women horribly” category of military service. But hey – better late than never, right? If you can’t hire sexually harassing dudes to fail to stop sexually harassing dudes, why not just mount an online campaign of threats and harassment so you can all join in the fun? And if suggesting that “female Marines achieved their rank by performing sex” isn’t enough, maybe throw in a few threats against their Commander in Chief, because you really can’t expect a Marine to just stoically stand there and take it when his brothers in arms are unconstitutionally forced to hold umbrellas by some civilian. (Because what you are supposed to do is jump and get that motherfucking umbrella yourself) Read more on Marines Storm Sexual Harassment Party, Beat Up Navy, Army, Air Force…
  Pocket Monster

Connecticut State Rep. Makes Peener Joke To Teen Girl Who Mentioned Snakes

Well, golly, it’s been at least a day or so since we’ve reported on some elected asshat saying something reprehensible in public, so obviously we’re overdue. This time around, the idiot is Connecticut Rep. Ernest Hewitt (D-OhForFuckssake), who last week decided that a dick joke would make for a perfect reply to a 17 year old girl’s testimony about how participating in a state-funded science education program helped her become more outgoing: The girl, a high school senior, had been testifying in support of funding for the Connecticut Science Center’s youth programs, which she said helped her to get over a fear of snakes. One lawmaker told her she was a good spokeswoman for the center and asked if there were any questions. ‘‘If you’re bashful I got a snake sitting under my desk here,’’ Hewett then said. Laughter at his remark from those in the room is heard in an audio tape of the exchange. Read more on Connecticut State Rep. Makes Peener Joke To Teen Girl Who Mentioned Snakes…
  simply irresistible

Richard Cohen Wants To Kiss Men But Does Not Want To Kiss Ladies You Guys

Do you wake up in the morning and think: “man, I sure wish I could get paid fancy WaPo monies to write about, well, nothing really?” (SPOILER ALERT/TRIGGER WARNING: we wish for that gig EVERY. DAMN. DAY). Do you also wish that you could be the least self-aware motherfucker on God’s green earth while simultaneously navel gazing all the time? If you answered “yes” then you are probably trying to be Richard Cohen! Read more on Richard Cohen Wants To Kiss Men But Does Not Want To Kiss Ladies You Guys…
  Call of Cutie

Iowa Supreme Court Decides It’s OK To Fire ‘Irresistible’ Workers If You Really Really Want To Bone Them

We have a feeling that maybe this one is not going to hold up on appeal, just maybe, but who knows? The Iowa Supreme Court has decided that … you know, folks, really, maybe if you’re holding something that you might break your computer with, you should put it down … so they decided that it was somehow not sex discrimination when a dentist “fired an attractive female assistant he viewed as a threat to his marriage.” Excuse us, but we need a little more novocaine, please. Watch where you’re putting that needle, though. Read more on Iowa Supreme Court Decides It’s OK To Fire ‘Irresistible’ Workers If You Really Really Want To Bone Them…
  bet joe arpaio wishes he'd thought of this

Arizona National Guard Recruits Unwilling Homeless People Into ‘Most Dangerous Game’

Need a life-affirming bit of sunshine and daisies? Then have we got the opposite of that for a story for you! Arizona National Guard recruiters, it seems, have a long, undisciplined history of taking their sometimes-still-underage prospects around town to get a taste of the excitement of military service, by shooting paintballs at homeless people! Also, sex crime, sex crime, blah blah blah. It’s cool though. One whole person got busted some ranks and not honorably discharged! So the system works! (That one time. Everybody else just got transferred, like a priest.) Military investigators were told that [Sgt. First Class Michael] Amerson wore his National Guard uniform and drove a government vehicle marked with recruiting insignia as he and other soldiers — some still minors — shot transients with paintballs or got them to perform humiliating song-and-dance routines in return for money. During some of these so-called “bum hunts,” female recruits said, they were ordered to flash their breasts at transients. Homeless women, conversely, were offered food, money or drinks for showing their breasts. We bet Michael Amerson was the most successful recruiter in the entire Arizona National Guard. Read more on Arizona National Guard Recruits Unwilling Homeless People Into ‘Most Dangerous Game’…
  crazy old men

Ron Paul: An Enigma Wrapped in a Riddle Wrapped in the Constitution

Yesterday, we learned that noted constitutional scholar Ron Paul accepts and cashes his Social Security check even though it is “unconstitutional.” He did not say why, exactly, Social Security is unconstitutional (although Your Wonkette suspects it has something to do with his poor grasp of a common law system), and so it remains one in a long list of items that Ron Paul thinks is unconstitutional absent any discussion of relevant jurisprudence. Of course, as we all know, ThinkProgress released a 2011 video listing all the things that Ron Paul finds unconstitutional but since then, there have been more! And there are some that ThinkProgress missed!  For example, did you know that sexual harassment is TOTALLY CONSTITUTIONAL but abortion is not? YES. It’s TRUE. So please behold an updated list of the things that would be unconstitutional in a Ron Paul presidency, as well as a list of things that are in fact Constitutional, which will allow for more substantive critical analysis. Read more on Ron Paul: An Enigma Wrapped in a Riddle Wrapped in the Constitution…
  endless cummer '12

Alleged Sex Creep in Peter Pan Hat Is Prominent Oregon GOP Politican, Of Course

The spring season of political sex scandals, like the presidential campaigns, like the bland and uninspired bickering of Congress, like the campaign ads’ lack of demon sheep, masturbating witches and Basil Marceaux, are so boring that we are sharing this tale of a dim Oregon GOP lawmaker who had consensual, heterosexual sex with his staffer: “A former aide to Deputy House Republican Leader Matt Wingard (R-Wilsonville) has accused him of giving her alcohol when she was underage, pressuring her to have sex, and keeping her on the public payroll after she ended the relationship with him and stopped reporting for work.” In reality this still sounds pretty bad, but your Wonkette was not sold until we came across the above picture of Wingard wearing a silly hat to work. This is how actual editorial processes work in professional newsrooms. (News editor: “Eh, kill the story unless there are good pictures.” Chief photo editor/intern slave: “We have one of the guy fellating a corn dog.” News editor: “Great, I’ll put a reporter on it.”) This makes it a good enough process for your Wonkette. Anyhow, Wingard has now resigned his leadership post in shame. Hooray! Read more on Alleged Sex Creep in Peter Pan Hat Is Prominent Oregon GOP Politican, Of Course…
  hey dad I'm in jail

You Want a Job, Don’t You? Super-Hot Orange County Republican Basically Sexed Up Whole Office

Current Republican Santa Ana City Councilman and recently resigned in disgrace Orange County executive manager for public works Carlos Bustamante is in so much trouble, you guys! After he made pretty much the whole office do sex on him in exchange for promotions, he had to resign his sweet $178,000 gig with the county, and now all the mad supervisors have sent his case to the District Attorney, for JAIL. Read more on You Want a Job, Don’t You? Super-Hot Orange County Republican Basically Sexed Up Whole Office…