Tag Archives: sexual harassment

  Allen West: The Vettening

Internet’s Stupidest Man Chuck C. Johnson: Disgraced Torturer Allen West Also A Big Horndog

Hey Baby. Want to wrap your legs around an American legend?
So file this under shocking maybe mildly surprising if true: “Award-Winning Journalist” Chuck C. Johnson, the newly crowned Stupidest Man on the Internet, accuses conservative icon and disgraced former Army Colonel and one-term-only congressman Allen West of having done something awful: Read more on Internet’s Stupidest Man Chuck C. Johnson: Disgraced Torturer Allen West Also A Big Horndog…
  OK Maybe More Hookers Than Blow

DEA Gets Its Very Own Colombian Hookers-N-Blow Scandal

Can't believe they kept these wild photos!
Members of the Secret Service have to be feeling pretty relieved that theirs is now not the only federal agency with an embarrassing hookers-in-Colombia scandal. Agents from the Drug Enforcement Agency allegedly had “sex parties” — and possibly even wild sex parties — with prostitutes in Colombia from 2005 to 2008, according to a Department of Justice inspector general’s report. And just to add to the fun, the DEA agents’ prostie-parties were reportedly paid for by drug cartels, which is, depending on your perspective, either way worse or way better than the Secret Service prostitution capers. On the one hand, at least the Secret Service wasn’t having its hookers paid for by the Assassins’ Guild. On the other other hand, the Secret Service scandal came to light partly because the cheap bastards didn’t even pay their hookers, who complained, so we can take some comfort from the fact that the DEA’s ladies received a fair day’s wages for their negotiable affection. It’s all a matter of perspective, no? Read more on DEA Gets Its Very Own Colombian Hookers-N-Blow Scandal…
  Innocent until proven disgusting

Rep. Blake Farenthold: I Did Not Have ‘Wet Dreams’ About Sexing That Staffer I Fired

Like THIS GUY would ever be nasty? Nahhh
In December, we gasped and clutched our pearls and LOL’d sooooo hard and then gagged even harder at the news that Texas Congressfool Blake Farenthold (R-Footie Pajamas) had been sued for sexually harassing his former communications director, Lauren Greene, who was coincidentally fired. COINCIDENTALLY, people, and probably NOT for complaining that she did not want to hear his sexytime talk, ew, gross. Because who would ever in a million years believe that such an upstanding guy, who wants to impeach President Obama for invading America with Ebola and also not really being a real U.S. American, would be capable of such untoward indecency? Read more on Rep. Blake Farenthold: I Did Not Have ‘Wet Dreams’ About Sexing That Staffer I Fired…
  99 Problems And A patriarchy Ain't One

How Are The Feminists Keeping Men From Getting Laid Today?

Guess he taught that cuni a lesson.
Nothing like kicking off 2015 with a few stories about how bad men have it in today’s modern feminist-dominated world, where men are on the verge of being ruined by all these radical feminists running loose and running everything, but still not doing sex to the Men’s Rights Activists for some reason. Read more on How Are The Feminists Keeping Men From Getting Laid Today?…
  It's A Dicktember Miracle!

Inconceivably, Ducky-Pajamas-Wearing Texas Congressman Has Been Accused Of Sexual Harrassment

Like THIS GUY would ever be nasty? Nahhh
Texas Congresscritter Blake Farenthold is a real peach. He was elected to the House in 2010, flirted with birtherism,, explained that Ebola was probably going to kill us all because that’s how it works in zombie movies, and has frequently suggested that Congress could totally impeach Barack Obama for a million things (but good luck getting a conviction, because liberals still exist in the Senate). And now, if you can believe it, the super-douchey Farenthold has been
  Say It Ain't So Joe! OK: It Ain't So

Joe Scarborough And His Intern Give Old Dead (And Maybe Rapey) Sen. Inouye A Pass

They just know some things
Yesterday, we had a sad because The New York Times reported that the late Sen. Daniel K. Inouye was the unnamed senator who grabbed Kirsten Gillibrand’s stomach and warned her not to lose any more weight, because “I like my girls chubby.” But today, we’re much less worried that the deceased senator from Hawaii and WW II hero was the responsible party. Not because any new information has surfaced, but simply because Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski have decided they just don’t believe it, since Daniel Inouye obviously wouldn’t have done that. Thrill as the two MSNBC morning show hosts sift through the evidence: Read more on Joe Scarborough And His Intern Give Old Dead (And Maybe Rapey) Sen. Inouye A Pass…
  Inouye? Way.

Was War Hero Daniel Inouye Also That Secret Sexist Senator? NYT Says Yes!

Look, we know you were always looking for a lei...
The New York Times is pretty sure it’s outed the unidentified senior senator who grabbed Kristen Gillibrand’s waist after she’d lost some weight and chuckled, “Don’t lose too much weight now. I like my girls chubby!” According to “people with knowledge of the incident,” it was the late Daniel K. Inouye, who was a kickass war hero, civil-rights supporter and generally badass liberal in the Senate. And also, apparently, a bit on the harassy side. And no, we’re not going to make a “he was a man of his era” excuse for him, because by the time Gillibrand was elected to the Senate in 2008, Inouye certainly had seen the sexual harassment training film once or twice. Gillibrand’s office wouldn’t comment on whether the senator in the book was Inouye, but we’re going to assume — risky, we know — that the Times got it right. Read more on Was War Hero Daniel Inouye Also That Secret Sexist Senator? NYT Says Yes!…
  #MadAboutAThing

Senator Ron Johnson To Little Lady Senator: Pics Or GTFO

Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson (R-Of course) has only been a member of the United States Senate for about five minutes (technically he was elected in 2010, which in Senate years is five minutes), but he sure knows a thing or three about how there has never been a single moment of less-than-perfect decorum. (He was not yet in the Senate when Vice President Dick Cheney told Sen. Patrick Leahy to quote unquote GO FUCK YOURSELF back in 2004, so that wouldn’t even count.) Read more on Senator Ron Johnson To Little Lady Senator: Pics Or GTFO…
  world's most deliberative bodies

Politico Reporter: Kirsten Gillibrand Is a Lying Liar, Since No Man in Congress Has Ever Been Sexist

k to the g
On Wednesday, the New York Post published tidbits of what promises to be an entertaining and depressing new interview with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand in which she describes being called “fat” and told to work out more since she was getting “porky” by older male colleagues in the House and Senate. What’s not to love about being a female senator? It gets you membership in a very small and exclusive club within the world’s most deliberative body, plus all the free fitness tips and affirmative motivation you can tolerate on your wellness journey! Read more on Politico Reporter: Kirsten Gillibrand Is a Lying Liar, Since No Man in Congress Has Ever Been Sexist…
  he may feel a little discomfort

Rick Perry Appointee Jailed For Being A Creep

As a person who just got a broken molar fixed (just fine, thanks!), Yr Doktor Zoom is especially alert to the word “dentist” in news stories at the moment. And so our eyes opened up at this story from the Great State of Texas: A Central Texas dentist has been sentenced to 21 days in prison for taping a female employee changing in the office bathroom. Sixty-seven-year-old William Birdwell pleaded guilty Thursday in Bryan to improper visual recording. OK, eww. So maybe he knows dentistry, but apparently he’s also just creepy as all hell. There’s also a semi-political connection, since in 2009, Gov. Rick Perry appointed Birdwell to the Texas Board of Dental Examiners; he resigned that position when he was arrested back in May. Maybe that’s why Rick Perry was so frowny! Read more on Rick Perry Appointee Jailed For Being A Creep…
  Army of Boners

Army Makes Greatest Sexual Harassment Video Of All Time (Video)

Sexual harassment education videos may be my favorite thing on YouTube, and this one may be my favorite example of my favorite thing on YouTube. Not only does it have the best title — “Unwanted Affection” — but it was produced for employees of Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Because if you’re going to serve our nation’s heroes, you’d sure as fuck better not waste time trying to play grabass with your coworkers. READ MORE ON HAPPY NICE TIME PEOPLE/a> Read more on Army Makes Greatest Sexual Harassment Video Of All Time (Video)…
  the more you know

Here Is Some Nice Time Title VII Gay Civil Rights Lawsplaining For You!

Though we are all about loving how much gay marrying has been going on across the country, sometimes that overshadows the fact that it still really really sucks in many states to be a gay person who would like to have a job without fuckery or the fear of being fired, or both. Law-wise, there’s very few ways to fight a termination unless your state has a cool-ass human rights law that guarantees the not-firing, and if you’re suing at the federal level, forget about it, because there’s not a federal law under which you can easily sue if your boss hates your gay gay gayness. Until now. It looks like some liberal activist judge has decided that a homosexxican guy whose boss hated how gay he was can sue under Title VII of the Federal Civil Rights Act, which is usually used to protect against sexual harassment and discrimination on the basis of sex. Confused? Let’s lawsplain! Read more on Here Is Some Nice Time Title VII Gay Civil Rights Lawsplaining For You!…
  the wrong kind of badger

WI Majority Leader Likes To Put His Hands On Ladies’ Boobs or Butts, We Don’t Know Which, Maybe Both (Allegedly)

Hey ladies. You know how the GOP is all wanting you to like them? And not just like them, but like them like them, because of how you are all slutty whoremonsters who vote for Democrats? Well, the Wisconsin State Assembly GOP Majority Leader is seeking to give ‘women’s outreach’ his personal touch. Unfortunately, he did not take the Boehner-approved class on good touch/bad touch, per the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: Assembly Majority Leader Bill Kramer may resign from his leadership post as soon as Saturday after being accused of sexually harassing at least two women while in Washington, D.C., for a GOP fundraiser. Protip for all GOP officials: don’t take a hands-on approach to give that personal touch to women voters, because Mad Men is a teevee show and not real life anymore.  Read more on WI Majority Leader Likes To Put His Hands On Ladies’ Boobs or Butts, We Don’t Know Which, Maybe Both (Allegedly)…
  don't stand so close to me

Illinois Governor Candidate Likes To Sexually Harass Entire Planet (Allegedly)

Illinois Treasurer Dan Rutherford would really like to be Governor, but he’s got a teensy little problem: persistent rumors that he’s gay (a possible electoral drawback for someone with an “R” after his name) and worse, rumors that he had sexually harassed male staffers. And then Monday, staffer Ed Michalowski, Rutherford’s director of community affairs and marketing, filed a federal lawsuit claiming that Rutherford had made unwanted advances toward him, and that Rutherford’s chief of staff ignored Michalowski’s complaints as well. Michalowski resigned last week, and told the Chicago Sun-Times that he’d quit because he feared retaliation. Are there salacious details? You bet there are! Go ahead and keep reading to satisfy your prurient curiosity — we won’t judge you. Sicko. Read more on Illinois Governor Candidate Likes To Sexually Harass Entire Planet (Allegedly)…
  master and commander

Go Away, The Army General’s Batin’

The problem of misconduct by America’s Military Leaders is a very serious matter that deserves serious attention. Happily, many fine publications are doing that, so let’s talk about this WaPo story about the fapping colonel. As part of a story on officers being less than gentlemen, the Post found the tale of Brigadier General Martin P. Schweitzer, a commander with the 82nd Airborne, who was so thrizzled to meet just-elected North Carolina Rep. Jocelyn RENEE (sorry, fap-story-related free-association brainfart) Ellmers in 2011 that he just had to send an email to a couple of other officers about how “smoking hot” the congresslady was. And then in a reply to a follow-up email, Schweitzer had to explain his tardy reply: More than an hour later, Schweitzer responded with an apology for the delay, saying he had masturbated “3 times over the past 2 hours” after the meeting with the congresswoman. Does WaPo share the full email with us? It does not. Sad state that journalism is in today. Read more on Go Away, The Army General’s Batin’…
  stay harassy new york

Gross New York (Alleged) (Just Kidding) Sexual Harrasser Dennis Gabryszak Made a Gross Video, Ick

Just to prove that a gross story about a nasty human being can ALWAYS get grosser and nastier, we have this update to the story of former New York State Assemblyman Dennis Gabryszak, who resigned last weekend after multiple women accused him of sexual harassment. And although he resigned, he also claimed that he hadn’t been harassy, no not one bit, just that he and some ladies had enjoyed some “mutual banter and exchanges” that were not workplace-appropriate, but totally not the harassment, no sir. And so John Bartolome, an attorney for six of the seven of the women accusing Gabryszak of harassment released a video of Gabryszak in a bathroom stall, either masturbating or maybe pretending he’s getting the oral sex, or lord only knows what (we do not want to look at it too many times). It was just a little a gift that Gabryszak sent to several of the women. Do we have the video for you? Hahaha, does a bear shit in the woods and send a video of it to the Pope? Read more on Gross New York (Alleged) (Just Kidding) Sexual Harrasser Dennis Gabryszak Made a Gross Video, Ick…
  wonkette brings you the hard news

Roger Ailes Unhappy About New Biography That Says Roger Ailes Is Terrible, Angry, Horny Sexmonster

It is a bit quiet news-wise today, so let us talk about Roger Ailes’ dick. Oh sure, we could talk about any other subject under the sun besides Roger Ailes’ dick. The terrible cold weather, the latest slap on the wrist for JPMorgan, S.E. Cupp taking the early lead for dumbest column any pundit will write in 2014. But are any of those subjects really more interesting than Roger Ailes’ dick? We think the question answers itself. Here is why we are thinking about Roger Ailes’ dick. The New York Times got its hands on a copy of Gabriel Sherman’s new biography of the walking tub of chicken fat and his dick, and one of the funnier stories involves Randi Anderson, a television producer who went to work for CNBC when Ailes was running that channel twenty years ago. Anderson alleges that Ailes offered her an extra $100 a week to have sex with him whenever he wanted. Because when you are Roger Ailes, you are entitled to an in-house concubine at your office, even if you want to pay well below what we imagine was the market rate for a prostitute in New York City in the early 1990s. Read more on Roger Ailes Unhappy About New Biography That Says Roger Ailes Is Terrible, Angry, Horny Sexmonster…
  dickcember

Here Is Your Yuletide Sexual Harassment, Of Some Ladies So It’s Definitely A Democrat

“I got a boner when I walked into the office today when I saw you,” New York Assemblyman Dennis Gabryszak, 62, (ALLEGEDLY) told his 28-year-old communications director. That is so sweet! What young lady doesn’t want to feel pretty and powerful, knowing she can make an admirer get blood in his peepee until it throbs turgid and firm? But is that communications director the only one of Gabryszak’s employees to (ALLEGEDLY) be complimented by the New York Dem? Not according to the three ladies filing suit against him! They claim he was constantly talking about his cock, and the strip clubs he liked to go to, and their butts, and they are all mad about it, like a bunch of missish dumb prudes! They did not even appreciate it when he would look at them and ask if they were gonna make out together, all lesby-like! We know we always appreciated a boss who cared about us and wanted us to be social and make new friends! Read more on Here Is Your Yuletide Sexual Harassment, Of Some Ladies So It’s Definitely A Democrat…
  Today's secret word is booooooooobies

Please Stop Raping Rush Limbaugh With Your Gazongas

Well, kids, we’ve cracked the code on today’s Republican talking point: boobie-staring freedoms and how the liberals are trying to take even that away from us. First, the Daily Caller reported that progressives are trying to “take away our activities” of staring at boobies, which is a “freedom” right there in the Constitution (written in invisible ink, apparently) gifted to us by James Madison and Thomas Jefferson. And now Rush Limbaugh is here to also vomit words about boobie-staring freedoms, but he has a modest proposal for how to fight back against the scourge of freedom-killing liberals: So let me offer a first suggestion, the first way to deal with this that came into my mind. You find yourself staring, looking at, casually glancing at a woman, but you know that it’s now socially taboo. You shouldn’t be doing it. And you think everybody is noticing you doing it and condemning you in their minds. You shouldn’t — so you walk up to the woman and say, “Will you please ask your breasts to stop staring at my eyes?” Try that. Might help. And you don’t know ’til you try it. It is merely “human nature,” Rush explained, which liberals “just despise … and try to alter it and change it and create it.” Everyone knows the only acceptable way to alter human nature is to pop some illegally obtained Viagra to make your naturally limp dick, which God saw fit to give you since everything comes from him obviously, more turgid. Ahem. Read more on Please Stop Raping Rush Limbaugh With Your Gazongas…
  stare case

Daily Caller Warns: Liberals Gonna Claw Out Men’s Eyes So They Can’t Stare At Boobies

Leering homunculus Patrick Howley saw a link to a social science abstract somewhere (no, Mr. Howley, do not try to convince us that’s from your casual reading) about this study that seems to confirm that, yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as an “objectifying gaze” — and decided, based on absolutely nothing in the abstract’s description of the study, that the obvious result of such research is that liberals are going to outlaw men looking at women below the neck, because that’s just how liberals do. But, but, but, he whines, he likes staring at boobies! And liberals want to ruin that, because they are addicted to regulating everything, including Patrick Howley’s wandering eyes: This is what the progressives exist to do. They take away our activities. If it’s an activity and it’s kind of fun or pleasurable, the progressives are going to take it away. That’s the very basis of their personality type. They’re the regulators. The hall monitors. We had never really thought of ogling mammalian protuberances as an “activity,” and we’re reasonably sure you can’t get a merit badge or certification in it. Then again, maybe Patrick Howley owns a “Bikini Inspector” badge that he feels he’s earned through years of study. Read more on Daily Caller Warns: Liberals Gonna Claw Out Men’s Eyes So They Can’t Stare At Boobies…
  secret service moved to 'naughty' list

Secret Service Ruining Blowvember With Creepy Hotel Antics

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, people, you keep getting Blowvember all wrong. First, CBS tries to co-opt it by blowing every news story it reports on. And now the Secret Service is being super-creepy with the ladies, according to the Washington Post. It seems that this past spring, a Secret Service agent was trying to force his way into a woman’s hotel room. NO!! BAD SECRET SERVICE!! NOT OK!! This dumbassery led to an internal investigation, which revealed some more bad behavior by this agent and another dude. As everyone knows, Blowvember is about sexual scandal, but not the creepy or rapey kind. It should be a celebration, but the only person who seems to keep the spirit of Blowvember in his heart is Rob Ford. AMERICA, WE CAN’T OUTSOURCE BLOWVEMBER TO THE CANADIANS! Let’s get it together, people.  Read more on Secret Service Ruining Blowvember With Creepy Hotel Antics…