May 22, 2013
The statistics whizzes at Public Policy Polling called up almost 600 Ameritards to ask them who was the coolest among these five individuals — Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, or Joe Biden. Everyone said, “Joe Biden, cuz he’s rad.” OK, OK, no they didn’t, because Biden is never allowed to win anything.
Barack Obama’s been getting hugs and kisses galore for the comedy routine he performed for Scarlett Johansson and other hardscrabble White House “correspondents,” but where is the adoration for Real American stage actress Michelle Bachmann? The other day she gave a masterful performance of her new Off-Broadway show, I’m Not a Betting, Casino-Type Woman, as [...]
The ACORN douche-pimp. The one who bones Scott Brown’s Daughter. And now we have the one who wrote an anti-feminist parody of The Vagina Monologues called The Penis Monologues, for his conservative George Washington University newspaper, THE PATRIOT. Let’s see what Stan Dai wrote, in The Penis Monologues!
No one was more excited about the Controversial Major News Story earlier this week, involving Barack Obama and his sexist athletic proclivities, than Maureen Dowd, the popular newspaper sex columnist from 1998. The story provided her with at least three columns worth of unclear wordplay about gender and politics and homos. Check out this peculiar [...]
In today’s edition of “Things That Are Impossible To Overstate, According To The News Media,” we return to that years-old question of whether Barack Obama either modestly dislikes women, or hates every single woman’s fucking guts. This was a hot topic last year when Barack Obama defeated a woman in a presidential primary, a heinous [...]
SHUT UP AND MAKE THE GENERAL A GODDAMN PIE: Republicans tend to hate it when ladies have jobs. They should be at home, pooping out babies, because of the Bible. Sometimes they conceal this hatred, sometimes they don’t, and sometimes they don’t in official NRCC press releases: “If Nancy Pelosi’s failed economic policies are any [...]
Mean old Hillary Clinton went to Africa’s Democratic Republic of the Congo today to discuss god knows what, current giraffe prices? Because it’s Africa?? And while she was taking questions in Kinshasa, some curious “Congolese university student” had the gall to “ask her for her husband’s thinking on an international financial matter.” But instead of [...]
For about 25 seconds a few weeks ago, all anybody could talk about was the Puerto Rican separatist crusader Sonia Sotomayor, and her crusade to exterminate wise old firefighters by legislating from the bench. But then Iran and Twitter and holy shit, Republicans just going nuts all over the Internet with their hilarious historical jokes!, [...]
Women! They are always shopping and getting their periods and crying about how you never scrub out the toilet … that is, when they aren’t drinking pinot grigio and reading Jodi Picoult novels. This is why women have never served on the Supreme Court: because they are EMOTIONAL, see?
When you heard the news about Mitt Romney being terribly disrespectful to Sarah Palin by suggesting she’s only important because she’s purty, you probably wondered what this Alaskan “mama bear” would do about it.
Most people, if asked, can say a lot of things about Sarah Palin: she’s snowbilly trash, human garbage, a religious nutball who protects the American airspace from Putin’s rearing head, a fake celebrity, a proudly ignorant “mean girl” who never should have won a promotion beyond head of her local neighborhood association, etc. But most [...]
Here is the libidinous fartsack Silvio Berlusconi, who still lives with his mom, assaulting some poor woman who just wanted to write a goddamn parking ticket in peace. Thank you to the inimitable shortsshortsshorts who posted this years-old but still fantastically awful bit of filth on his blog. [YouTube via ShortsandPants] VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE:
Loveable Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell has opened his fat trap yet again, this time on a hot mic, to celebrate the selection of Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano as Secretary of Homeland Security. He tells a friend that she’ll do well because she’s a fucking unmarried childless loser: “Janet’s perfect for that job. Because for that [...]
According to Experts, the recently minted members of America’s middle class — the ones who got ARMs on their three-bedroom ranches in the exurbs and took out $600 a month car loans on their Ford Explorers and used credit cards to pay for their Starbucks Gargantua-chinos every morning — will now be sad hobos along [...]
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