Someone just sent us this comical article from an October, 2006 edition of the Anchorage Daily News — a reputable journal if ever there were! — about how Sarah Palin had a “scheduling conflict” during a gubernatorial debate with her two challengers and — instead of canceling her dumb conflict, because who cares — she tried to get her running mate to debate for her. Her two challengers wouldn’t agree to this because… just… just NO. What the hell? NO LADY NO. MORE »

Silly Meghan McCain, has her father taught her nothing about telling terrible lies as a means of achievement? Because when some reporter asked her about Pigdildostickgate and whether she thought Barack Obama was calling Sarah Palin a pig (btw, why do reporters have to ask people this question when it’s an established fact that Barack Obama didn’t?), she said she didn’t and — here’s the good part — “I’ve heard my dad say that, the term ‘lipstick on a pig.’” Meghan you are OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT! We expect a McCain rapid response statement shortly saying, “John McCain does not care about his fucking stupid daughter’s sexist opinion.” [The Hill]

Here are some important new Battleground polls that you should take with a grain of salt, because they have not factored in Ron Paul’s 1/3-endorsement of Ralph Nader today. Otherwise, these are pretty good signs for Obama — after all, they were conducted Sept. 7-9, a three-day period during which Democrats caved entirely to their old friend Self-Loathing and Republicans were gaining media traction with the impossible idea that they care about women at all. So why is it that New Hampshire and Michigan are being so Sexist? [The Page]

Nobody is allowed to talk about lipstick and various animals you would put it on, unless you are Sarah Palin. For example, when Barack Obama was talking about the Republican health care plan and called it “putting lipstick on a pig,” this was obviously a Sexist and demeaning SMEAR against the vice presidential candidate, who already made it clear that she was a bloodthirsty and vicious dog, not a cuddly, sensitive, intelligent little pig. Barack Obama needs to confine his language to simple one-syllable words and not use elitist compound nouns anyhow. [Political Punch]

• WELL HE’LL ENJOY THAT: Barack Obama’s pathetic attempts to keep upper-middle-aged ladies from drifting to the McCain-Palin camp continue: Barbra Streisand, who is despised by everyone not between 54 and 66 years old and without a vagina, will “perform for” Barry at a fundraiser later this month. HA, you cannot fool us with your fake ploys, Hussein! Until you or Joe Biden gets pregnant with like thirty Down Syndrome babies, you will always be a terrible enemy to women. [Wilshire & Washington]

Did anyone else know that Howard Wolfson has a blog on The New Republic now? No, not his elitist indie rock one, but an actual politics blog that is comically titled “The Flack,” where he mostly answers arbitrary questions about Hillary Clinton. And he says that Clinton will not start a “cat fight” with Palin. Thank God, because no one wants to go through an electoral distraction of THAT kind of world-historical magnitude. Can you even imagine how many 52-year-old male D.C. pundits have the first parts of their “Battle of the Bitches” narratives typed up and ready to go, just sittin’ in Microsoft Word, waiting for the first vague Clinton line about Palin at a rally to set the predetermined cycle in motion? [The Flack]

John McCain’s best friend Ron Fournier, the Washington editor of the Associated Press, has written a nice news analysis about, what else, Sexism. He notes that McCain strategist Steve Schmidt’s dismissal of the “faux media scandal designed to destroy the first female Republican nominee for the vice president of the United States Famous” is only the beginning of a terrible two-month strategy to employ the SEX CARD, because what else is there to play? More hilariously, Fournier quotes famous wartime rat-fisting mayor Rudy Giuliani *calling other people sexist.* You know, Rudy! The one who dumped his second wife in a teevee news conference, because what the fuck. [AP]

“NEW YORK (Reuters) - Women would rather carpool or go on vacation with Democratic White House hopeful Barack Obama than with his Republican rival John McCain, a new poll of U.S. women voters showed on Tuesday.” What the fuck does this even mean? “Carpooling” and “vacationing” are two very distinct acts. So they have asked women across the country, basically, which candidate they would rather schlep to pre-school or, conversely, go to the Jersey Shore with. John McCain polls better with white women, so we might infer that there is some strange demographic called bl… black… black women? HISPANIC WOMEN? Who are these so-called “people,” and why do we never hear about them? [Reuters]

The political children, the children are idiots. Colorado Republican Senate candidate Bob Schaffer has a son, you see, and he is 19 years old and in trouble for putting funny images on his Facebook page, like one that shows a picture of the three pyramids in Egypt with the caption, “Slavery Gets Shit Done.” Well, it’s true, right? Do you think people owned other human beings so they could watch them flop around all day? He also has a bunch of pictures of Barack Obama as a Muslim. Well, it’s true, right? MORE »

Here’s the video of John McCain offering up his wife to the biker crowd yesterday, in South Dakota. It’s the most sexist thing we’ve seen all campaign. Look at how excited John McCain is about serving up his wife for the nudie show, so these mutts can get their greasy paws all over her. He has a little trouble looking her in the eye, hmm? [YouTube]

Today in the exciting world of horse race politics: Obama lawyer tries to sneak into McCain lawyer conference call, gets rejected, is called sexist — and obvious political motives glue each development together! Jesus, this must be “Friday Night At The Movies” for Mark Halperin ‘n’ pals. MORE »