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Remember that time yesterday when Barack Obama acted like a Texas waitress and called that young female reporter “sweetie”? Well, he left her a contrite voicemail promising never to call her that terrible word again. The full transcript after the jump. MORE »

John McCain is such a maverick that he acted like a jerk to a kid who asked him a perfectly reasonable question in one of his precious Town Hall Meetings in Michigan. And then after he intimidated and belittled this very nervous child who wanted to know why he opposed the Fair Pay Act, he went on The Daily Show and referred to her as “a very attractive young woman.” Horrifying video footage after the jump. MORE »

This Chelsea Clinton, she’s going places. In the 2044 election she will go straight to the third-place finish in the Democratic primary, with Malia Obama in first and Hillary Clinton in second. This is because she has learned to tell hilarious lies, much like her working-class mother and pink father. She has been going on about how a couple of guys in New Hampshire yelled out at her, “Iron my shirt!” and that they were dead serious, and sexist, and you should vote for Hillary Clinton. But the two dudes (who are probably still awful) were New England radio hosts doing it as a complete prank. They love women after all! Why does Chelsea continue to lie about their INTENTIONS? MORE »

The Clark County, Utah Republican Party held its convention Saturday, and the Mormons are so secretive that it’s taking this important news several days to make its way around the Internet. “Standing in” for John McCain was Mark Shurtleff, the attorney general of Utah. Even that title sounds horribly racist and sexist and Mormon. So what horribly racist and sexist and Mormon things did he say? MORE »

Ardent Clinton supporter Geraldine Ferraro ran for Vice President once, and now she wants everybody to know how fortunate Barack Obama is to be a black man. She recently told the Daily Breeze, an LA-area paper, that “If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.” Whoopsy! MORE »

Yesterday, we discussed how the Republican National Committee is performing extensive research to find substitutes for certain unprintable words that have wonderful ways of goosing voter turnout. Wonkette operative James Del went under double-secret cover to secure images of the actual survey supposedly sent out by the RNC to college students. Truly alarming ‘agree/disagree?’ questions, after the jump! MORE »

The Republican party finds itself in a pickle this political season: how to point out subtle differences between John McCain and his future Presidential opponent without saying unpleasant words like “black” or “woman.” Several party leaders have already come up with brilliant solutions, revealed after the jump. MORE »

After all of his foul hate speech about former First Moppet Chelsea Clinton, David Shuster should just be glad he gets to keep his life. Apparently he will get to keep his job, too! According to an MSNBC spokesperson, Shuster will be permitted to return to work someday, perhaps when Roger is the fourth and final Clinton elected to the nation’s highest office. [The Horse's Mouth]

Have you noticed that lady politicians tend to wear clothes sometimes? Have you noticed that sometimes those clothes look like couches or draperies or other home furnishings? Hillary Clinton has noticed it, too, and tells her tale of national fashion humiliation to the only magazine that cares. [Us Weekly] MORE »

Chris, I have just watched the video of you pinching Hillary Clinton’s cheek. I’m so sure that this was entirely not a sexist way to assert dominance over a powerful woman that I double dog dare you to pinch the cheek of every candidate you talk to from now on (and Dennis Kucinich doesn’t count). Otherwise, I will be forced to think that you believe we’re all totally “cute,” like babies and kitties and puppies are, and that you believe we’re likely to be equally effective in positions of power. Name your price.

Still no damn details on the Jim Webb “thunder thighs” remark. The Baltimore Sun editorial cited by the Allen campaign reads as follows:

Such acts are less surprising, but no less disturbing, when put in a context typified by former Navy Secretary James Webb’s description of female middies as “thunder thighs.”

It’s quoting a New Republic piece from earlier in the year, which we finally found (guys, your archiving system sucks almost as much as your publisher, blogs, editorial content, and circulation). Excerpt after the jump, though the text is exactly as it appears on Allen’s site. The source, unless we’re missing something (and no, we don’t have the full text of Webb’s Washingtonian piece, “Women Are Pussies”), is author Carol Burke herself, who doesn’t explain if it’s something she witnessed or something she heard about, or if it came from his speech before the school or in casual conversation.

We don’t doubt it, we just want context! THE SECRETARY OF THE NAVY CALLED SOMEONE “THUNDER THIGHS.” Tell us who and why!

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It was weeks ago when we first learned about the Allen campaign push polls that asked potential voters how they’d feel if they learned that Democratic challenger Jim Webb referred to a woman or women as “thunder thighs.” And now, finally, we learn what the hell they’re talking about:

Webb referred to female midshipman at Annapolis as “thunder thighs.” (Baltimore Sun, 8/28/92)

ONCE AGAIN (we’re super responsible today, what with all this research), our exclusive investigation into this is after the jump.

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