Wonkette

Today in the exciting world of horse race politics: Obama lawyer tries to sneak into McCain lawyer conference call, gets rejected, is called sexist — and obvious political motives glue each development together! Jesus, this must be “Friday Night At The Movies” for Mark Halperin ‘n’ pals. MORE »

Get ready for the softer, whiter side of Michelle Obama! According to somebody at the New York Times who leaked it to Drudge Report, Barack’s fancy corporate wife is getting a “subtle makeover” that will finally make right-wing nuts put aside racism and sexism so they can metaphorically embrace their new first lady, who represents everything they so deeply resent in life: intelligence, wealth, style, liberalism and especially the “being female” and “being black” parts. UPDATE: Oh here it is. MORE »

With every passing Tuesday the Democratic party gets closer to cutting the Gordian knot that is its Presidential nominating contest. In other words, Hillary Clinton will win Kentucky, Barack Obama will win Oregon, and Pat Buchanan will lose his mind (again) on MSNBC tonight. Join us as we watch the early evening madness, with a glass of Kentucky bourbon in each fist! MORE »

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Remember that time yesterday when Barack Obama acted like a Texas waitress and called that young female reporter “sweetie”? Well, he left her a contrite voicemail promising never to call her that terrible word again. The full transcript after the jump. MORE »

John McCain is such a maverick that he acted like a jerk to a kid who asked him a perfectly reasonable question in one of his precious Town Hall Meetings in Michigan. And then after he intimidated and belittled this very nervous child who wanted to know why he opposed the Fair Pay Act, he went on The Daily Show and referred to her as “a very attractive young woman.” Horrifying video footage after the jump. MORE »

This Chelsea Clinton, she’s going places. In the 2044 election she will go straight to the third-place finish in the Democratic primary, with Malia Obama in first and Hillary Clinton in second. This is because she has learned to tell hilarious lies, much like her working-class mother and pink father. She has been going on about how a couple of guys in New Hampshire yelled out at her, “Iron my shirt!” and that they were dead serious, and sexist, and you should vote for Hillary Clinton. But the two dudes (who are probably still awful) were New England radio hosts doing it as a complete prank. They love women after all! Why does Chelsea continue to lie about their INTENTIONS? MORE »

The Clark County, Utah Republican Party held its convention Saturday, and the Mormons are so secretive that it’s taking this important news several days to make its way around the Internet. “Standing in” for John McCain was Mark Shurtleff, the attorney general of Utah. Even that title sounds horribly racist and sexist and Mormon. So what horribly racist and sexist and Mormon things did he say? MORE »

Ardent Clinton supporter Geraldine Ferraro ran for Vice President once, and now she wants everybody to know how fortunate Barack Obama is to be a black man. She recently told the Daily Breeze, an LA-area paper, that “If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.” Whoopsy! MORE »

Yesterday, we discussed how the Republican National Committee is performing extensive research to find substitutes for certain unprintable words that have wonderful ways of goosing voter turnout. Wonkette operative James Del went under double-secret cover to secure images of the actual survey supposedly sent out by the RNC to college students. Truly alarming ‘agree/disagree?’ questions, after the jump! MORE »