For about 25 seconds a few weeks ago, all anybody could talk about was the Puerto Rican separatist crusader Sonia Sotomayor, and her crusade to exterminate wise old firefighters by legislating from the bench. But then Iran and Twitter and holy shit, Republicans just going nuts all over the Internet with their hilarious historical jokes!, and everybody forgot about her. America, it’s time to remember again. MORE »

Women! They are always shopping and getting their periods and crying about how you never scrub out the toilet … that is, when they aren’t drinking pinot grigio and reading Jodi Picoult novels. This is why women have never served on the Supreme Court: because they are EMOTIONAL, see? MORE »

When you heard the news about Mitt Romney being terribly disrespectful to Sarah Palin by suggesting she’s only important because she’s purty, you probably wondered what this Alaskan “mama bear” would do about it. MORE »

Most people, if asked, can say a lot of things about Sarah Palin: she’s snowbilly trash, human garbage, a religious nutball who protects the American airspace from Putin’s rearing head, a fake celebrity, a proudly ignorant “mean girl” who never should have won a promotion beyond head of her local neighborhood association, etc. But most politicians, if asked, cannot say any of these true things, so they fall back on what they believe to be an innocuous remark about her looks. MORE »

Here is the libidinous fartsack Silvio Berlusconi, who still lives with his mom, assaulting some poor woman who just wanted to write a goddamn parking ticket in peace. Thank you to the inimitable shortsshortsshorts who posted this years-old but still fantastically awful bit of filth on his blog. [YouTube via ShortsandPants]

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE: MORE »

Loveable Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell has opened his fat trap yet again, this time on a hot mic, to celebrate the selection of Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano as Secretary of Homeland Security. He tells a friend that she’ll do well because she’s a fucking unmarried childless loser: “Janet’s perfect for that job. Because for that job, you have to have no life. Janet has no family. Perfect. She can devote, literally, 19, 20 hours a day to it.” Because what the hell else does she have to do, cry all day like a baby, which, again, she’s never had? Does she even have one friend, anywhere?? Also: what is this “thing” that Campbell Brown is doing now, “Cutting Through The Bull.” CNN has no business Dobbsifying this nice lady. [YouTube, Philly Inquirer]

According to Experts, the recently minted members of America’s middle class — the ones who got ARMs on their three-bedroom ranches in the exurbs and took out $600 a month car loans on their Ford Explorers and used credit cards to pay for their Starbucks Gargantua-chinos every morning — will now be sad hobos along with the rest of us. They will be the “former middle class.” But one traditionally neglected and sorely undervalued population should do quite well in the tough times ahead: sexy ladies of a certain age. MORE »

Someone just sent us this comical article from an October, 2006 edition of the Anchorage Daily News — a reputable journal if ever there were! — about how Sarah Palin had a “scheduling conflict” during a gubernatorial debate with her two challengers and — instead of canceling her dumb conflict, because who cares — she tried to get her running mate to debate for her. Her two challengers wouldn’t agree to this because… just… just NO. What the hell? NO LADY NO. MORE »

Silly Meghan McCain, has her father taught her nothing about telling terrible lies as a means of achievement? Because when some reporter asked her about Pigdildostickgate and whether she thought Barack Obama was calling Sarah Palin a pig (btw, why do reporters have to ask people this question when it’s an established fact that Barack Obama didn’t?), she said she didn’t and — here’s the good part — “I’ve heard my dad say that, the term ‘lipstick on a pig.’” Meghan you are OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT! We expect a McCain rapid response statement shortly saying, “John McCain does not care about his fucking stupid daughter’s sexist opinion.” [The Hill]

Here are some important new Battleground polls that you should take with a grain of salt, because they have not factored in Ron Paul’s 1/3-endorsement of Ralph Nader today. Otherwise, these are pretty good signs for Obama — after all, they were conducted Sept. 7-9, a three-day period during which Democrats caved entirely to their old friend Self-Loathing and Republicans were gaining media traction with the impossible idea that they care about women at all. So why is it that New Hampshire and Michigan are being so Sexist? [The Page]

Nobody is allowed to talk about lipstick and various animals you would put it on, unless you are Sarah Palin. For example, when Barack Obama was talking about the Republican health care plan and called it “putting lipstick on a pig,” this was obviously a Sexist and demeaning SMEAR against the vice presidential candidate, who already made it clear that she was a bloodthirsty and vicious dog, not a cuddly, sensitive, intelligent little pig. Barack Obama needs to confine his language to simple one-syllable words and not use elitist compound nouns anyhow. [Political Punch]