Wonkette

We’ve been so busy with the crucial Chris Peden/Paultards and Obama/Hillary races that we totally neglected to write about the true winners in Texas: People who like to legally own their various dildos and sex devices. A federal appeals court in amoral New Orleans has finally made it legal for Texans to own a half-dozen erotic toys. The ruling was announced on Valentine’s Day, which is super romantic. MORE »

John W. Rogers has served for 25 years in the Alabama House of Representatives and he wants to help “[bring] the state into the 20th century” by helping Alabamans of diverse backgrounds , um, come together (or separately, depending on their interests). He’s introduced for the second time a bill to eliminate the ban on the sale of sex toys in the state. That ban recently survived a first amendment challenge at the U.S. Supreme Court and the death of a Baptist preacher in Cocktober which showed the state that banning their sale prevents no one - including preachers - from shoving dildoes up their butts while hogtied and wearing two wetsuits.

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The intrigue never stops at Dick Cheney’s Official Residence:

found leather c***ring at Naval Observatory - m4m
Reply to: pers-247511078@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-12-11, 5:43PM EST
if you “lost” the leather c***ring with the brass snaps in the bathroom of Bldg 56 of the Naval Observatory, contact me to reclaim. i’m dying to know who you are.

Missed Connections [Craigslist]
Earlier: Inside the Monster’s Lair: Cheney Residence Fotos!

• Foley’s replacement on the GOP ticket in Florida has never even heard of himself. [TPMMuckraker]

• It wasn’t just teenage boys. Mark Foley also liked to “cut open illegal Ecuadorian immigrants and fuck their still pumping aortas.” [Rude Pundit]
• Democrats send out email blast about Foley without even blog-level fact checking. [Washington Wire]
• Ben Stein calls Democrats pedophile-enablers. [Hit & Run]
• Supreme court upholds Texas ban on dildos; loophole exists if they’re used for, “legislative, judicial or law enforcement purpose .” [Pandagon]
• Is Pennsylvania Congressional candidate Don Sherwood gonna have to choke a bitch? [YouTube]
• Ah, Britain — where paging a terrorist to remind him to board a plane is still considered funny, not a felony. [YouTube]
• How will Iraq, sex scandals, and the economy affect the midterm election? Just watch the share price — if anybody can see the future it’s coked-up Wall Street gambling addicts. [Tradesports]
• In Gonzales’ Justice Department, anything goes. Seriously, margaritas at lunch and Friday’s No-Pants day. [Above the Law]
• “Funny” Mark Foley t-shirts. [Spreadshirt, CafePress]

• George Bush wants to stick all 4 inches of his ” fat headed stub” into your ass, and not like metaphorically over gas prices or anything. [Fleshbot]

• Osama Bin Laden totally not dead, just filming new episodes for this season’s Survivor: Waziristan. [Stop The ACLU]
• Scooter Libby, who would be late to his own funeral, was late to his hearing today, and avoided his own funeral. [TalkLeft]
• 7-Eleven terminating supply contract with Venezuelan owned CITGO gasoline to sell its own brand of gas that will presumably come in “Motormelon” and “Octane Chill” varieties. [Hot Air]
• Cancel the Mandarin classes, China’s going bust. [Global Guerrillas]
• Katherine Harris’s campaign office in Sarasota is a great place to get your drink on, says omniscient Google maps. [Herald-Tribune]
• Rising expectations infect bloggers, being invited to the White House no longer good enough. [Hotline on Call]
• Washington Times HR Director tries to lay his hands on some underage human resources. [Fishbowl DC]

Drudge got us all excited there for a second: MORE »

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Please note, as reflected in the purple-versus-blue colors for the hyperlinks, that we have not visited the sites for “LoveHoney UK Sex Toys” and “Dr Joel Kaplan (The Original) Penis Pump.” MORE »

It’s a good thing that we get to enjoy the pony that’s been hidden in slavery, because for the people of Mississippi, it could be a long time before they get to enjoy anything hidden in their vaginas. MORE »