Dirty Old Finn Sends Comical Sex-Texts To Exotic Dancer
Friday, March 14th, 2008
“Finland” is a magical place where you get charged $103,000 for speeding, everyone looks like an orange muppet, and people send each other dirty text messages in Finnish all day long on their Nokia phones, which are issued to them by the State when they lose their virginity at age 5. In this sense, Foreign Minister Ilkka Kanerva is just an ordinary Finn! But in other ways he is even more hilarious. MORE »
“Finland” is a magical place where you get charged $103,000 for speeding, everyone looks like an orange muppet, and people send each other dirty text messages in Finnish all day long on their Nokia phones, which are issued to them by the State when they lose their virginity at age 5. In this sense, Foreign Minister Ilkka Kanerva is just an ordinary Finn! But in other ways he is even more hilarious. MORE »









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In a rare display of political hypocrisy, a longtime Republican lawmaker has resigned today after child pornography was discovered on his computer. Can you imagine such a thing? Let’s meet Maryland Delegate Robert A. McKee, 58, a 29-year state representative with a proud record of fighting sex offenders. We believe the appropriate metaphor here would be “textbook.”
When all of the sex talk in an election year surrounds the gender of one of the presidential candidates, you know something is horribly wrong. Thankfully, the Massachusetts governor’s office has offered up one of its own in what we hope to be the first in many exciting sex scandals in this winter of our discumtent (hat tip to reader Caspar Weinberger — that’s your real name, right?). Steam rooms, $500-a-night Florida resorts, and 15-year-olds, after the jump!
The votes are in! No, not in your silly American primary election; I’m talking about The Foreigns, who got one look at last week
If you’re an American and you read this site, you are almost certainly embarrassed by this nation’s government. Was it for this, you wonder, that our forefathers pledged their sacred honor to fight the tyrant British, or rose up to free themselves from bondage and discrimination, or travelled across the ocean with nothing but the clothes on their backs: so that we could live under a government where venality and corruption are the order of the day, where criminals make war for profit and a surprising number of powerful individuals use their influence to procure the favor of teenage boys? Wouldn’t we better off living somewhere, anywhere, but America? Don’t foreigners have it better than we do?
So long to the mirthful tap-tap-tap of