• May 27, 2012

sex scandals

Cocktober, you left us too quickly! So what is this now, “Nov-member?” Hm. We will have to work on the name. Meanwhile, here is the month’s inaugural illicit political sex story: Ben Clifford Dawson, smiling here like a wicked little minx, is an 83-year-old Centerville, Iowa city council candidate who was arrested for prostitution after [...]

Unmarried elected Republican lieutenant governor Peter Kinder loves throwing money at a hot former Penthouse lady reasonably close to his own age. That “scandal” only ranks about a three out of ten because… eh, there’s the “adult lady” part. But is there some fine print? Sure: “[Tammy] Chapman alleges that while she gave the state [...]

Here is a nice, positive “unemployed wingnuts with internet access” story for once. The NYTimes reported that a mysterious team of conservative Twitter Batmans used an extensive amount of free time to closely monitor Anthony Weiner’s Twitter follows (we don’t know what that means) to discover that the exhibitionist Fruit of the Loom spokesbulge was [...]

Once upon a time, married Sen. John Ensign had sex with a lady who was not a man and was also the wife of one of his aides. Unfortunately for his re-election prospects, Ensign did not wear a diaper, as far as we know. And because the U.S. Senate is somehow yet another day care [...]

Nikki Haley is now governor of South Carolina, despite being brown and despite allegations that she posted her genitals on some South Carolina blogger guy’s genital site. That guy, Will Folks, will be releasing a book about doing sex things with Haley at some point, but for now, he’s posted an excerpt. (“Sexcerpt”? Is that [...]

You know what? There’s something charming about Mark Foley continuing to pretend he’s not deader than dead politically. It’s charming seeing him tread into the most obvious jokes over and over. He just doesn’t care. Sure, he follows half-naked 15-year-old boys on Twitter. And still talks about admiring from a distance shirtless teenage boys fishing [...]

John Edwards, who was gestated in a millworker cut open by a lightsaber after nine months, has asked his mistress Rielle Hunter to marry him, according to the National Enquirer (again). Now, if John Edwards has any luck, this new wife will get cancer, and he will be able to exploit it for another presidential [...]

Many moons ago, as the days grew short and the air thick with the cold of autumn’s decline, Alvin Greene was allegedly witnessing the act of human reproduction. He then turned to a fellow human and showed her this example of how humans come to be. And now a South Carolina grand jury, out of [...]

Who says investigative journalism is dead? Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency has been paying (?) Diane Dimond to nose around the world’s most repugnant sleaze pits and report back on her findings! Having already blown the lid off of John Mark Karr’s “little girl sex cult,” she’s now moved on to something even more repugnant: John [...]

An artist who wishes to remain anonymous has painted this very fancy painting just for your Wonkette, as an upgraded version of the standard Pedobear, copies of whom are spreading throughout Italy as a means of calling the Pope a disgusting Nazi sex monster. We will call him Father Pedobear of Rapechildrenland, and you should [...]

Are we still writing about Gross-ass John Edwards and his she-witch Rielle Hunter and their sexy pregnant sex tape and the GQ interview and sad/insane cancer lady Elizabeth Edwards and all that? Maybe! Just for today, anyway. HERE YOU GO: “On the video, both participants are naked. Hunter is propped up against the hotel bed [...]

Are you one of the fistful of Americans who cares what Rielle Hunter does with her life since she bravely bore the child of the android King of Vulgarian Monticello, Mr. Johnny Edwards? Well, read on! Rielle Hunter has completed an interview with GQ and posed for a pantsless photo, just as Susan B. Anthony [...]

One of those daily teevee press releases that puts it all in perspective: gay sex/snorkeling stories about Eric Massa’s Navy career stopped being funny or even skim-worthy about 36 hours ago, and probably will not recover anytime soon. We’re delighted to offer cheaply-won publicity under these circumstances.

by Jim Newell  3:48 pm March 10, 2010

SNORKEL? “When you’re on ship, you’re almost exhausted 24-7. So a lot of times you sleep with your uniform on. Tom and Massa shared a stateroom together. Massa climbed up on the top of his bunk, which is hard to do–you never crawl up on somebody else’s bunk. He wakes up to Massa undoing his [...]