Tag: sex education

Check THIS out, kids!

Cure Your Crotch Weasels The Christian Way: Put A Ring On It!

There comes a time in every Christian youngster's life when he or she has a burning case of the crotch weasels and doesn't know what to do. Go to the doctor? Meh, that's for liberals. Go to church? Now you're...
Don't all teens talk like this? Especially on the sidelines of a f'ball game?

Sundays With The Christianists: Let’s Read Some Terrible Pro-Abstinence Comics!

Thanks to the extremely slow delivery process of an online fundagelical ministry, we have finally received a crackerjack prize we ordered back in August: a copy of the fabulous "Truth For Youth Bible," which is full of lies right...
Cry all you want, still gonna call you A Idiot.

Bristol, You Ignorant Slut: Once Again You’ve Missed The Point Entirely

Oh dear. It seems the gatekeepers of True Feminism -- you know, the lady conservatives who want to regulate other ladies' vag holes and keep other ladies' paychecks at a low discounted-because-lady rate -- are on to us. In a recent post in which...

Bristol Palin Outraged Other Girls Won’t Get Knocked Up In High School Like She Did

Uh oh, someone put a shiny thing in front of Bristol Palin's face, and now her ghostblogger has to write about how SO MAD Bristol is. Seems she learned that the state of Washington has a program to provide...
Cucumbers are vicious lovers.

Hooker Dude Wants To Make Sure Teenagers Don’t Do Sex Things To Cucumbers

Once in a while, there is a straight news story that already has a Wonkette headline. This is one of those stories. OH DOES HE? So here is what is happening. There is a Republican state representative in Michigan called...
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Mad Teenage Boys Don’t Put Out Like They Used To

Yesterday, Grandma Kaili told you Wonkers about a new CDC study that says Kids These Days are real fuckin' boring, in that they don't go under the bleachers at school and play sex games on each other, and they...
Why not bring back the classics?

New Orleans Crotch Cricket Rate Off The Charts, So Let’s Not Teach Sex Ed

How's this for a surprise? Louisiana, where abstinence-only sex ed is mandatory and schools are actually forbidden by law from teaching about contraception and STDs, has the cities with the highest and second-highest STD infection rates in this great...
Sluts

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let’s Slut It Up With Some Hot Hugging Action!

Are you ready again for your weekly dose of scammery and flimflammery to wash away all those good feelings you've built up over the week? Then welcome again to the Snake Oil Bulletin! Greetings to you, sinners! And a special...
Baby did a bad bad thing.

Jeb Bush: Let’s Get Rid Of Unwed Whores By Making Fun Of Them In Public

Try to contain all your surprise, but Jeb Bush has been A Idiot for a LONG TIME. We know about his recent string of fuckups -- "Knowing what we know of knowing about Iraq and stuff and things, it...
This image has not been altered in any way. Ick.

Tuesday With The Christianists: Sex Education To Keep You Purer Than Those Slutty Duggar Children

As a supplement to Yr Editrix's Sunday column on the "counseling" recommended by the Duggar family's homeschooling guru, we thought we'd take a look back at some other homeschooling wisdom regarding sex education for good little Christian children. Throughout...
Illegal

Activist California Judge Says ‘Just Don’t F*ck’ Does Not Count As Sex Ed

Here is a thing that we all knew already, except for those of us who were homeschooled by a Duggar in Jesus's basement and think the Earth is flat and just a few thousand years old, and also gravity?...
Illegal

Texas School District So Good At Teaching Teens Not To F*ck, Only 1 In 15 Have Chlamydia

Here's some terrific evidence of the effectiveness of abstinence-based sex ed in Texas: not only does the state have among the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country, but Texas is also pretty darn good at promoting sexually transmitted...

Texas Republicans Will Cure AIDS Through Magic Jesus Sexytime School

Texas Republicans have a new never-been-tried-before plan to address the state's rate of HIV infections (third highest in the country, congratulations!) and teen pregnancies: even more abstinence-only education. Texas Republicans voted to divert funds from an HIV screening program into...

Let’s Meet Lee Atwater’s Widow, Sally, Who Is Running For Something Somewhere, Badly

Sally Atwater, widow of the late Master of Electoral RatLovemaking Lee Atwater, is heading into a runoff primary for the Republican nomination for South Carolina's State Superintendent of Education. Last week, she called in to this radio show hosted...

Texas Homeschooler Running For Board Of Education Wants Big Sex Ed (And Education) Out Of Education

In today's Republican primary run-off election, a Texas businessman who homeschools one of his two kids is the Tea Party-backed primary challenger for the nomination to a seat on the State Board of Education. Eric Mahroum says that there...