Meet Roland Corning! Roland Corning, a 65-year-old married man, likes two things: 1. being an assistant district attorney in South Carolina and 2. filling his Ford Explorer with sex medicine and sex toys and 18-year-old prostitutes (for sex) and taking all these things to the local cemetery on Monday afternoons (for sex). This is illegal, all of it, well all of the second part. Except when a South Carolina policeman stopped Corning outside of his ad hoc graveyard pleasure den, he did not charge him with any crime after Corning identified himself as the Roland Corning, assistant district attorney and celebrated tombside rake. MORE »

Some Pennsylvania state Senate staffer for a very conservative Republican Lawmaker (making this “political news”) was arrested last Friday for trying to have panda furry sex with a young teenage boy. Now monstrous child-raping is not funny, but hey, they never *did* anything, so let us feel free to laugh at the hilarious details, as published in a newspaper. MORE »

A pervert in Pennsylvania has been arrested. HOORAY FOR FRIDAY NEWS! Alan David Berlin, 40, and longtime staffer in the Pennsylvania state Senate, was charged Thursday for being a terrible panda furry who loved teenage boys so, so much. But is he only a panda furry? MORE »

Yesterday all we knew about this fellow Chris Ortloff was that he had been arrested in a hotel room with some manner of sex devices on his person and an alleged intention to do dirty things to a minor or minors. Now we learn the nature of the devices (garden variety, alas) and the intended victims (fake 11- and 12-year-old sisters). MORE »

Three cheers, for Cocktober is in full swing! Some tragic former upstate New York assemblyman and current parole board member was busted for allegedly arranging a date with what he thought would be an underage person but turned out to be the State Police. Hmm! Our fake fantasy victim has no gender here in this write-up. MORE »

One of Diaperman David Vitter’s other hookers, in New Orleans — but not the Diaper Gal, apparently — took a lie detector test administered by the President of Lie Detectors and the test proves she had “safe sex” with David Vitter, all the time, in New Orleans, and her pimp was named “Jonathan.” [Times-Picayune]

Here they are, in happier days: The Singing Senators barbershop quartet! Pictured from right, that’s Jim Jeffords, John Ashcroft, Larry “Wide Stance” Craig and Trent Lott, performing Judy Garland songs. They also performed a beloved selection of Barbara Streisand numbers and once opened for Rufus Wainwright Jr. Ha ha, just kidding, they weren’t actually any good so they didn’t open for anybody except the, uh, Oak Ridge Boys in Branson, Missouri. That part is apparently true.

The Singing Senators: Behind the Music [The Fed]

Talking Points Memo just dug up this amusing anti-homosexual website in Idaho, run by a group of staunch anti-homosexual activists who are also, amusingly, big fans of Senator Larry Craig. Just below a happy photo of the latest Republican politician to be caught hitting up dudes in the public restrooms, there’s a fun post about the gay danger lurking within our nation’s toilet stalls — specifically in the airport restrooms, which of course is where Republican Senator Craig was arrested for soliciting gay sex: MORE »