sex crimes

A former alderman and vice mayor from Mount Carmel, Tennessee, has been arrested on charges of indecent exposure after a female motorist said he “‘fondled himself’ and made obscene gestures while they drove beside each other on Interstate 26.” William Lee Blakely, 30, had previously been investigated on similar charges in 2010, but the case […]

Remember last month? Last month was fun, what with all the jibber-jabber about how armed guards in schools would keep all the children safesies. Marching at the very head of that parade of stupid was our old friend Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who sent in armed posses without actually checking with the school. Hey! What school, […]

Sup, ABC News? Is there anything in the world you could possibly try to twist into a news story during a holiday news week? “Obama Golfing In Hawaii With Pal Arrested in Prostitution Sting”? Sure, that should do it. Let us learn more about this shocking news, that Obama knows a dude who did sex […]

Good morning! Here is something terrible to start your day! In January, a Vietnamese woman who runs a spa in Falls Church, Virginia, let a man inside for a shoulder massage even though she wasn’t open for business yet. She told him to relax in one of the small rooms. When she returned to the […]

GAH. When we pleaded with the universe last week for leading insane racist and pink panty queen Joe Arpaio to be the next high-profile Republican sheriff to become embroiled in a “ghey sex for meth” scandal, we made our offhanded Xmas wish sort of figuring that was the worst the universe could do on the […]

How are the people in charge of the money treating the people who serve the people in charge of the money these days? Still not so good, it seems! International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn was hauled off an Air France flight just before departing New York, all because the cops say he tried to […]

Jesus, New York Times, if you would just quote the “something vulgar” rather than leave us all guessing, maybe the voters of Massachusetts would know whether Scott Brown is laughing about sodomy or rape or rape-sodomy or whatever.

Meet Roland Corning! Roland Corning, a 65-year-old married man, likes two things: 1. being an assistant district attorney in South Carolina and 2. filling his Ford Explorer with sex medicine and sex toys and 18-year-old prostitutes (for sex) and taking all these things to the local cemetery on Monday afternoons (for sex). This is illegal, […]

Some Pennsylvania state Senate staffer for a very conservative Republican Lawmaker (making this “political news”) was arrested last Friday for trying to have panda furry sex with a young teenage boy. Now monstrous child-raping is not funny, but hey, they never *did* anything, so let us feel free to laugh at the hilarious details, as […]

A pervert in Pennsylvania has been arrested. HOORAY FOR FRIDAY NEWS! Alan David Berlin, 40, and longtime staffer in the Pennsylvania state Senate, was charged Thursday for being a terrible panda furry who loved teenage boys so, so much. But is he only a panda furry?

Yesterday all we knew about this fellow Chris Ortloff was that he had been arrested in a hotel room with some manner of sex devices on his person and an alleged intention to do dirty things to a minor or minors. Now we learn the nature of the devices (garden variety, alas) and the intended […]

Three cheers, for Cocktober is in full swing! Some tragic former upstate New York assemblyman and current parole board member was busted for allegedly arranging a date with what he thought would be an underage person but turned out to be the State Police. Hmm! Our fake fantasy victim has no gender here in this […]

REPUBLICANS  1:33 pm September 11, 2007

by Ken Layne