sex affairs

Nobody is having a decent sex scandal in America this week, which has really put a crimp in your editors’ style, man. But it’s nice to see that our helpful friends in the nation of Swaziland are helping out! Swaziland is a wee little country mostly surrounded by South Africa, and it has a plump, […]

QUANTIFYING OUR SEX-SHAMING  8:55 am June 23, 2010

by Josh Fruhlinger

ALSO WE CALLED HER A ‘CONTEMPTIBLE TRAMP,’ BUT OUR STYLE GUIDE PREFERS ‘BRAZEN HUSSY’: “A preview of the Republican primary for governor in South Carolina in the June 6 A-section incorrectly said that ‘several men’ have alleged that one of the candidates, state Rep. Nikki Haley, committed adultery in affairs with them. Two men have […]

At this point we’re all well acquainted with Nikki Haley, who’s running for the GOP nomination for governor in South Carolina, and who may have had hot sexx affairs with a political blogger (GROSS) and one of her rival’s consultants (at a “school-choice convention in Salt Lake City,” also GROSS). But now her campaign is […]

And this is why politicians shouldn’t have ALLEGED affairs with fucking political bloggers: they *will* act like children in the aftermath. (That, and most are ugly, too.)

By the Comics CurmudgeonSince you’re reading Wonkette, I assume you’re some kind of news-reading nerd, since without a deep and thorough understanding of the American political system and world events you can’t appreciate the many philosophical layers of our hilarious dick jokes. Which means, of course, that you’ve probably had your fill of tales of […]

Here is what we know about John Ensign: he was schtupping his buddy’s wife for six months or so until they got caught, at which point Ensign begged his old parents to give his buddy $96,000 in hush money (that worked out in the end!), which they did, spread across eight $12,000 checks to various […]

The Washington Post has comical new details about the infamous, state-funded June, 2008 meetings South Carolina Sex Governor Mark Sanford set up in South America, to discuss TRADE, with potential “trading partners,” for whatever it is South Carolina produces. (Indigo.) Apparently his trip planners gave word to South American officials that maybe they didn’t really […]

Lindsey Graham, third puzzle piece, along with Joe Lieberman and John McCain, of the Senate’s most bromantic Warring Loser Triumvirate, has come out to defend his good pal and homewrecker John Ensign, of sex affair fame. Graham considers Ensign’s sexings a personal matter on which he should keep his mouth shut, because, well, hehehe… we’ve […]

Right now we’re seeing about… one? two? Two more days of caring about this John Ensign sex affair, tops. First of all, it was with a woman, presumably of age. Did this guy forget what party he’s in? Second, when he had the affair, he was separated from his wife. That’s just a sledgehammer to […]

John McCain’s sexytime lobbyist friend, Vicki Iseman, has dropped her $27 million suit against the New York Times over a story last year which implied-but-not-really that she and WALNUTS! used to fuck all the time. Times Washington bureau chief Dean Baquet e-mailed the news to his staff in a rather pissy memo: “Vicki Iseman has […]

FRIDAY FUN LINK  3:29 pm November 14, 2008

by Jim Newell

PLANET OF RETARDS: “LONDON, England (CNN) — A British couple who married in a lavish Second Life wedding ceremony are to divorce after one of them had an alleged ‘affair’ in the online world. …Taylor said she had caught Pollard’s avatar having sex with a virtual prostitute: ‘I looked at the computer screen and could […]

UPCOMING NEWS REPORTS  2:19 pm August 21, 2008

by Jim Newell

DID JOHN EDWARDS HAVE MORE SEX WITH LADIES?: Intrepid blog reporter Choire Sicha hears that a New York Times Metro reporter is digging into “a story about John Edwards and a Duke graduate.” We are Ethical and don’t want to spread scurrilous rumors, but maybe John Edwards has been fucking a Duke graduate? Maybe John […]

Sweet criminy, did Juan McCain send out a hot e-mail this morning or what: “It’s pretty obvious that the media has a bizarre fascination with Barack Obama. Some may even say it’s a love affair. We want you to be the judge. We’ve compiled two videos of the more outrageous moments of this not so […]