Tag: sex

Is This Barack Obama’s Giant Boner? Sure, Why Not

Oh, so you wouldn't mind seeing Obama's ding-dong but Trump's would gross you out? DOUBLE STANDARD! But we get it.

Manosphere Sweetheart Roosh V Needs Your Help To Make A Trump Media Enemies List!

He's already got a pretty great start!
Also not on the beach. That was Lincoln Chafee, har har

Where’s Weirdest Place Ex-Sen. Scott Brown And Wife Ever ‘Did It’? No, Not In The Butt.

Where's the strangest place Scott Brown and his wife, who he may have seen naked more than once, have ever done sexxytimes? None of your business!
Your polling data, M'sieur Trump

Donald Trump’s Suit Against Ex-Staffer Looking Even Smarter, If That Were Possible

Would you believe the Trump campaign might not follow campaign finance laws exactly to the letter? Yes, we are astonished at these allegations, too.
It's like he's a genius, only the opposite of that.

Smart Donald Trump Picks Perfect Moment To Seek Legal Vengeance For Staffers’ Sex Affair Story

With days to go before the GOP convention, Donald Trump picked the perfect time to sue a former staffer to shut him up about a sex affair between senior staffers. Wait, a SEX AFFAIR BETWEEN SENIOR STAFFERS?

Anti-Choicers Gonna Pray So Hard For All The Unfertilized Eggs Murdered By Whore Pills

Wisconsin pro-lifers are organizing prayer vigils mourning Griswold v. Connecticut.

Bernie Lovers and Trumpkins Find Sexytime in Cyberspace

Not with each other, that would be gross.

This Preacher Is Pretty Sure Sex With A Snake Will Make You Homeless Or Something

Oh hello there. Were you wondering what it would look like if a rural preacher (who looks vaguely like a Dorian Gray-style painting of Dick Clark stashed in his closet for 45 years) showed up on your YouTube Teevee and...

CNN Steps On Own Dick, Wonders If Prince’s Death Is Good News For Trump And Hillary

Know what's been nice? Since Prince's untimely passing on Thursday, people really haven't said hardly anything shitty about it. Cities large and small have gone purple, the cast of Broadway's The Color Purple sang the tribute to end all tributes, and...

Prince Will Never Die

What in the hell is wrong with 2016, when it comes to God taking away our greatest icons? TMZ is reporting that Prince has died at age 57: The artist known as Prince has died ... TMZ has learned. He was 57. Prince's...

Icelandic Media Wants Us To Know Reykjavik Mayor Is NOT Just Big Dick, Pretty Face

Welcome to our all our new Icelandic readers! How are you doing?! Are you cold because of how your country is frozen much of the time? <a href="http://wonkette.com/600836/fine-ass-reykjavik-mayor-is-your-new-political-sexxx-fantasy-of-the-week"></a>So, in case you've been preoccupied with inconsequential affairs like the American presidential...

You Want More Justin Trudeau Hotness? Fine. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Y'ALL. It's Saturday! You're probably like "Gah Evan, why do we have to look upon the hotness of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau again THIS SUCKS." That's because you're bad at life. But we can explain. First of all,...

World’s Sexiest North American Leaders Break Entire Internet, With Sexiness

Oh. My. God. Becky. Did you SEE how sexxxpot Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is visiting Barry Bamz Also The Sexpot Obama at the White House of U.S. America? Did you immediately faint as you witnessed what Canadian-American relations could...
She thought her question was maybe "too motherly."

Washington Republican Asks Teens How Much Dick They’re Getting, Totally Normal

Washington state Rep. Mary Dye sounds just like our mommy, and your mommy, and all of U.S. America's mommy. She makes apple pie and gives good advice and leans in real close and says things like, "HEY CHAMP. GETTIN'...
Going directly to hell for making this meme, do not pass go, BRB.

Duggar BFF Bill Gothard Sorry For Doing Rapey Sex To All Those Ladies, On Their Feets

Last week, we told you that, in the shock of the century, creepy rightwinger homeschooling guru Bill Gothard, the man tasked with teaching young sibling diddlewanker Josh Duggar how to keep his hands out of his sisters' no-no spots,...

Missouri Republican Demands Transparency In Hot Sexing Between Lobbyists And Lawmakers

The Missouri legislature has, shall we say, Sexxx Issues. This is a place where elected officials walk into the state house as functioning human adults, but once inside turn into violently throbbing jizz spigots unable to do anything besides...