sex
Bristol Palin is setting the record straight about ‘putting a ring on it’ vs ‘trial marriage’ (getting dick). Despite her past struggles of tagging hockey players, having a child out of wedlock and pretending to be a Christian, Bristol is super totally not “doing it” with the hot dude your Wonkette said Bristol was totally [...]
What? Yeah, Tennessee is very busy, now and always, with a bill that intends to ban the discussion of sex in sex education courses. Isn’t education without sex just…math? This bill, which passed the House Education Committee Wednesday, and whose “companion” bill passed in the Senate last month, is now going before Tennessee’s House. It’s [...]
Young Master Ross Douthat, the New York Times op-ed page’s resident Catholic hobbit, has a new book out titled Bad Religion: How We Became a Nation of Heretics, about how screwed we are because of… Jesus… ??… anyway, it is some book. It might even be his best book since the one he wrote about [...]
Do you see that lady? She is Nadia Lockyer, Alameda County, California, supervisor. Do you see that man? That is her husband, California state Treasurer Bill Lockyer. We know, right? So you could maybe understand why she has been having (allegedly) meth-feuled sex-tape sexytime with some dude she met in rehab (because of course), and [...]
It is a true fact that there were a full dozen or two ladies at CPAC this year wearing sparkly cocktail dresses approximately ten million inches above the knee from nine in the morning ’til eleven at night, each being pursued by 10,000 sex-starved young conservative males. Why else would they all go to CPAC? [...]
Briefly popular ignoramus Herman Cain was already sinking in the GOP primary polls like every other random dingbat the party has puked up for consideration during this long, long 2012 campaign season. But the latest scandal, that he carried on a 13-year-long affair with a lady who was not his wife, seems to be enough [...]
Herman Cain knows how to turn America into a vast nation of slobs who eat shitty take-out pizza (paid for with Social Security disability checks and Food Stamps) seven times a week. Why won’t Republicans make him the new president? Well for one thing, Herman Cain has a gang of radical homosexuals running his campaign. [...]
Formerly closeted gay Republican lawmaker Phil Hinkle was caught in a hotel with a male gay prostitute earlier this month, which was all obviously some kind of terrible mistake, the way yet another GOP representative (Indiana legislature, this time) has been caught with a rent boy. But now the Republican married straight lawmaker has at [...]
“Independent contractor” Bristol Palin (hey, she works hard at being a teenager who got knocked up!) was paid $262,500 in 2009 by the Candie’s Foundation, the group that has her speak about why teenagers should be abstinent even though her not being abstinent is why she gets to be paid $262,500 a year despite having [...]
A grotesque 68-year-old car salesman, Republican “young gun” (?!) and failed Senate/House candidate from Ohio has been charged with “three felony charges of gross sexual imposition, and single counts of kidnapping, abduction, solicitation, and menacing by stalking.” Tea Party-endorsed Tom Ganley allegedly attacked a woman from Cleveland and stuck his hands down her pants after [...]
Presidential candidate/kitsch 1990s artifact Newt Gingrich knows he’s going to have to explain why he had so many affairs when he was trying to remove President Clinton from office for getting a blowjob, and here’s how he explained it to CBN in what appears to be some kind of tractor shed for storing murder victims: [...]
Congratulations to Lillian McEwen, that woman who was finally able to overcome years of terrible embarrassment about having sex with Clarence Thomas to write a book about it. D.C. Unmasked & Undressed is the title of this newly released memoir, because the people who write tell-all memoirs are weirdly terrible at this part of marketing. [...]
Congratulations, condom. Now you too are famous. As far as we know, the condom hasn’t spoken a word to a police about its connections to the American government or how much it paid it off. [Gawker]
George Will likes politics, but he does not like politics when everyone is not wearing a top hat and legislators arrive to the Capitol by auto-mobile instead of Negro-drawn carriage. “Between Jefferson and Woodrow Wilson, no one delivered this in person. They sent their report to Congress in writing. But now we’ve turned this into [...]
