America’s Hottest Politician Has Fantastic Website
Friday, September 26th, 2008
Oh look it’s Carey Torrice, County Commissioner in Macomb County, Michigan! Some e-mail we just got, completely unrelated, tells us that Macomb County is a bellwether for the state. Important! And Carey Torrice, who recently won TMZ’s search for America’s hottest politician, pretty much runs it. And yet, despite having a hot piece of ass as County Commissioner, Macomb residents are complaining about the TMZ article, which “has featured photos taken from Torrice’s own Web site that show her in various sexy costumes.” Well then! Let’s check out Torrice’s website shall we? MORE »
Oh look it’s Carey Torrice, County Commissioner in Macomb County, Michigan! Some e-mail we just got, completely unrelated, tells us that Macomb County is a bellwether for the state. Important! And Carey Torrice, who recently won TMZ’s search for America’s hottest politician, pretty much runs it. And yet, despite having a hot piece of ass as County Commissioner, Macomb residents are complaining about the TMZ article, which “has featured photos taken from Torrice’s own Web site that show her in various sexy costumes.” Well then! Let’s check out Torrice’s website shall we? MORE »









Well, if the National Enquirer’s latest story isn’t entirely factual we will just eat our hats. Once upon a time Sarah Palin’s husband Todd had a business partner — no, not
Since this news headline alone goes above and beyond our joke-per-post quota, we’ll leave it at that. As soon as we determine the nature of this oil sex — as in, was it consensual middle-management heterosexual sex or was it, say, Republican big shots ass-raping young male slaves? — we will decide whether or not to keep covering it. Any Interior Department staffers want to
Oh goodness everybody’s panties were in a lather on Friday when it was revealed that some former business pal of Todd Palin had asked to have his divorce records sealed — presumably because they contained page after blistering page of descriptions of hot sexing with Todd Palin’s wife, a pretty lady who is running for vice president. After all, the National Equirer said
The most patriotic mayor in the world will not be mayor of Detroit anymore. Kwame Kilpatrick has reached a plea bargain with authorities, so now he has to resign and serve four months in jail, and also he will repay the city ONE MILLION DOLLARS. After the jump, a quick review of the mayor’s goofy hijinks that we shall never see again now that he is an awful humiliated loser who can’t spell “Ben’s Chili Bowl.”
DID JOHN EDWARDS HAVE MORE SEX WITH LADIES?: Intrepid blog reporter Choire Sicha hears that a New York Times Metro reporter is digging into “a story about John Edwards and a Duke graduate.” We are Ethical and don’t want to spread scurrilous rumors, but maybe John Edwards has been fucking a Duke graduate? Maybe John Edwards has been fucking seven Duke graduates and had like 20 babies with each of them, who knows, there must be more information out there. [
One of the weirder angles on the John Edwards Sex Scandal is the part where the guy who says he’s Rielle Hunter’s baby daddy, Andrew Young, has to live in the same weird compound (OK FINE A “GATED COMMUNITY”) in North Carolina as Rielle Hunter, and then they all have to move to California, together, with their families, including Mrs. Young and their three children, because they are all in a terrible sex-induced Witness Protection Program.
Oh look a gay person named Jonathan Crutchley, founder of some gay thing called Manhunt.net, has, er, maxed out a $2,300 donation to John McCain against Barack Obama. People have been sending us this tip like crazy, but whatever? Everyone knows that all gay people not named “Andrew Sullivan” hate Barack Obama for stealing the election from Queen Hillary. [
The Mayor of Detroit has gotten into more scrapes than Harriet the Spy and Ramona Quimby combined, times a million. Nonetheless, Kwame Kilpatrick will get to throw off his electronical tether and CUT LOOSE at the Democratic National Convention in Denver later on this month. The judge who has been so mean to him lately,
Jay McInerney used to love dating crazy broads and doing a lot of blow, back in the 80s, when it was considered un-American not to walk around with a cocaine mustache and a persistent case of chlamydia. During these halcyon days, he dated the craziest broad of them all: Lisa Druck, who went on to change her name to “Rielle Hunter” and attain universal revile for her