The U.S. military must be in worse shape than we thought. Once content to harvest recruits from the ranks of the criminal, drug-addicted, and borderline retarded, they then moved on to calling up sad Southern muppets and asking them to serve. Now that our President has called an indefinite halt to post-July troop withdrawals from Iraq, America's children might want to take a second look at this creepy Sesame Street video in order to find out why Elmo's dad still can't come home.
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You all knew that Barack Obama was in the pocket of slumlords and hope lobbyists. But did you know he also wants every child in America to have a sociopathic Elmo doll that chants incitements to murder? And that "some have even accused [Obama] of supporting infanticide"? It's all true! We know it because somebody put it in the comments to a blog post.
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Wonkette
