Tag Archives: sesame street

  Here have some news n stuff

President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin’ Up, For Your ‘Health’

Happy birthday, you young thing!
If the President Barry H. Bamz (D-Choom Gang) thinks medical marijuana might be good for you, who are we to argue? CNN’s chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta, a vocal supporter of the legalization of medical marijuana, asks Obama in the documentary [“WEED 3”]if he supports the goals of a historic Senate bill introduced in March that seeks to make several major changes in federal law, including drastically reducing the federal government’s ability to crack down on state-legal medical marijuana programs, encouraging more research into the plant and reclassifying marijuana as a less dangerous drug. Read more on President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin’ Up, For Your ‘Health’…
  The third rail of comedy

Wingnuts Find The One Thing That’s Not Funny, And It Is Mitt Romney

We are all sad today
In the rightwing world, there are a lot of things that are HI-larious and worthy of mockery. Encouraging kids to carve a coal plant in their pumpkins to really stick it to these tree-huggers at the Department of Energy? Funny! Calling a lady jet fighter “boobs on the ground”? Even funnier! Asking if Sandra Fluke is engaged to a man because something something slutty lesbian something? Classic comedy! Calling Texas state Sen. Wendy Davis “Abortion Barbie”? Highbrow humor. (Because she is a blonde lady, just like Barbie, and she cares about abortion rights. Get it? It’s pretty sophisticated.) Suggesting Putin should be our new president since that pansy-ass tyrant Obama is such a pansy-ass tyrant? Hardy har har. Oh wait, they were serious about that one. Read more on Wingnuts Find The One Thing That’s Not Funny, And It Is Mitt Romney…
  d is for dreadful

Cookie Monster Is A Neo-Nazi Now, Thanks Obama

Generally, we are totally down with the educational efforts of Sesame Street because we are scumbag left-wing propaganda-perpetrating liberals who think that teaching kids that war kind of sucks and that gay people are OK is a thing worth teaching. Also, too, we are super into the fact that FLOTUS shows up on there all the time to talk about cool things like growing your own vegetables. Weirdly, we are not so in love with Sesame Street when it is co-opted by neo-Nazis to put a friendly face on race war and how Adolf Hitler was a cool dude, but seems that some German folk have adopted Cookie Monster as their new recruitment tool. Read more on Cookie Monster Is A Neo-Nazi Now, Thanks Obama…
  binders of big birds

The Year In Sesame Street Evil

First they came for Big Bird, and we did not care, because dude, old news. (Little known fact: if you stop funding the NEA, Sesame Street and Planned Parenthood, there would be enough budget left over to fund at least three GSA conventions.) They ALWAYS come for Big Bird, because sharing = communism, everybody knows that! Read more on The Year In Sesame Street Evil…
  the princess died

Man-Hating Ball-Buster Sonia Sotomayor Teams With Sesame Street To Indoctrinate Your Princess

You may go elsewhere to read about Elmo maybe raping your children, because Sonia Sotomayor raping traditional gender roles is the only Sesame Street story your Wonkette will be covering this fine Veterans Day. So let’s get right to it: why does known feminazi and United States Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor want to indoctrinate your semiprecious female children into believing they should go to law school, where they will doubtless become godless spokessluts for Big Pill? Read more on Man-Hating Ball-Buster Sonia Sotomayor Teams With Sesame Street To Indoctrinate Your Princess…
  there's a monster at the end of this book also too

Heroic Truth-Teller Mark Steyn: Big Bird Killed Our Ambassador In Libya

Here, let the National Review’s Mark Steyn tell you what’s wrong with Sesame Street. Basically: everything. It is why we are falling apart as a country. Babying children with images of friendly monsters leads to the widespread perception that the world outside your own home isn’t scary, and before you know it, it gets harder and harder to demonize gays and cling to xenophobic fantasies about the Other. The end result of all this open mindedness is that your ambassador gets killed by an al-Qaeda militant cell just outside Bengazi. So don’t blame Obama for that; blame Sesame Street! (no, rly, he is actually saying this.) Read more on Heroic Truth-Teller Mark Steyn: Big Bird Killed Our Ambassador In Libya…
  sunny day everything's a-ok

Ghost Mr. Rogers Will Help Save PBS From That Mean Old Mitt Romney

Duh, everybody freaking out about Homeless Big Bird, axing PBS has been dogma on the Right for decades. Everybody in this glorious nation may be shocked at Miffed Romney’s mafia threat to Big Bird — looks like you got a real nice nest here, shame if anything happened to it — but Fox Business and their ilk have long believed all that sharing and multiculturalism is soshulizms. Murdering the Muppets is a feature, not a bug. On the flip side, get some morning sweetness with Fred Rogers testifying before Congress and making crusty old men’s hearts grow three sizes, and stuff. Read more on Ghost Mr. Rogers Will Help Save PBS From That Mean Old Mitt Romney…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Spends More Time on Television Than Actual Actors, According to Vague Statement

We have been following Michelle Obama’s television escapades – most recently, an appearance on The Biggest Loser and Colbert – and we are not the only ones. Fox News would like you to know that Michelle Obama is now the “most televised” First Lady. When she’s not secretly plotting the Obama administration’s next move in the ongoing Battle of the Sexes (like the radio show/board game, except the prize is an unwanted pregnancy) our Michelle has been hitting every circuit, from late night comedy to mid-morning children’s to late afternoon tween. But since this is an election year, it is important, according to this article, to ask ourselves, “Was Michelle Obama being sincere with those muppets on Sesame Street, or just trying to get their votes?” Read more on Michelle Obama Spends More Time on Television Than Actual Actors, According to Vague Statement…
  cookie monster is so not on board with this

Mitt Romney Vows To Balance Budget With Reforms To ‘Sesame Street’

Hardass Mitt Romney is now the actual GOP frontrunner, so it’s finally time to get serious, take a real stand on some issues, go IN DEPTH instead of standing around waffling on the margins always looking no matter what he wears like a dork in a turtleneck clutching an asthma inhaler while waiting for the base to grow weary of his psychotic opponents. No more. Now it’s time for “TUFF TALK MITTENS.” First things first, educational children’s teevee shows with puppets are way too free in America. A President Romney will no longer provide commercial-free programming like Sesame Street for children at a cost of a sixth of a penny per year or whatever to each taxpayer. THAT IS MONEY THAT COULD BE GOING TO WARS. Read more on Mitt Romney Vows To Balance Budget With Reforms To ‘Sesame Street’…
  the scum also rises

Fox News Dingbats Using Up Oxygen To Intensify War Against Puppets

Oh look, a new children’s film starring Muppets with the controversial theme “greed is bad” is the scandal-du-jour over at used dildo recycling plant Fox News? Sure. Last Friday the Fox News business channel presumably had some airtime to fill to avoid any lengthy discussion of the Labor Department’s positive jobs report, so actual tumor Eric Bolling randomly freaked out about the name of the fictional villain of the new Muppets movie, “Tex Richman.” It’s an anti-capitalist message for the childruns, see! Bolling is back again with another panel of venal idiots to belabor his confused non-point, as underscored by the fact that for most of the segment they appear to be discussing the mind terrorism of Sesame Street interchangeably with that of the Muppets. A five-year-old knows the difference, but these Fox News rejects are condemned to struggle with such lofty perceptions. Read more on Fox News Dingbats Using Up Oxygen To Intensify War Against Puppets…
  the saddest thing

‘Hungry Child’ Sesame Street Muppet To Entertain Actual Hungry Children

Because so many millions of American children are plopped in front of the teevee to watch Sesame Street instead of getting any breakfast, what with 45 million people on food stamps and tens of millions with no jobs and other economic unpleasantness, the folks at the Children’s Television Workshop will introduce a sad new muppet character, “Lily,” who does not have enough food to eat and so is wasting away as the other characters sort of uncomfortably go about their already weirdly doomed lives. Read more on ‘Hungry Child’ Sesame Street Muppet To Entertain Actual Hungry Children…
  even jennifer aniston hates him!

Beloved ‘Friends’ TV Show Also Hated Newt Gingrich

Throughout America’s history, people have always hated Newt Gingrich. Republicans hate him, Democrats hate him, and of course the nation’s wives all hate him. But a new historical document proves that Gingrich was just as unloved in the distant 1990s as he is today — some say he was despised even more then, because people actually knew who he was, because he was the bloated little helmet-headed albino twerp who shut down the federal government because he didn’t get enough Easter candies from the White House. For example, the producers of the beloved sitcom Friends made a special effort to personally shame the hypocrite “social conservative” Gingrich while also mocking Republican Family Values in general. Read more on Beloved ‘Friends’ TV Show Also Hated Newt Gingrich…
  joe biden's worst ever gaffe

If Joe Biden Loves Israel Attacking the Humanitarian Boats So Much, Why Does He Pose On Arabic Sesame Street?

Vice President Joe Biden did two things Wednesday night: He went on the Charlie Rose interview show to defend Israel’s attack on the humanitarian flotilla trying to bring supplies to walled-off Gaza, and he attended some Sesame Street gala event. Which of these things are not like the other? Both of them, as you can clearly see from this promotional photograph released by the Sesame Street organization. Yeah, that’s right, Biden is standing right underneath the Arabic sign for Sesame Street. Read more on If Joe Biden Loves Israel Attacking the Humanitarian Boats So Much, Why Does He Pose On Arabic Sesame Street?…
  red scare

Michelle Obama Palling Around With Red Monster

Whoa, a black person on Sesame Street! They were not kidding, about the change. Here is elitist fashion plate Michelle Obama disrespecting our Queen again by saying the best thing she ever did was some kind of fetish play with a red monster which is actually just some terrible carpet with ping pong balls for eyes and a gay dude’s hand up its ass. Exercise, it’s what’s for dinner, fat America! [YouTube] Read more on Michelle Obama Palling Around With Red Monster…
 

Muppets Debate Clinton vs. Obama

World-famous puppet “roommates” Bert and Ernie have a heated political discussion in which Obama emerges the victor, suggesting rumors of faltering gay support for Hillary Clinton are more than just rumors. [YouTube] Read more on Muppets Debate Clinton vs. Obama…
 

George W. Bush Still Drafting Muppets

The U.S. military must be in worse shape than we thought. Once content to harvest recruits from the ranks of the criminal, drug-addicted, and borderline retarded, they then moved on to calling up sad Southern muppets and asking them to serve. Now that our President has called an indefinite halt to post-July troop withdrawals from Iraq, America’s children might want to take a second look at this creepy Sesame Street video in order to find out why Elmo’s dad still can’t come home. Read more on George W. Bush Still Drafting Muppets…