In the world of Middle East oil production, multinational petrochemical mergers, and global Wahhabist terrorism, everything is connected. MORE »

Today, U.S. District Judge John E. Jones ruled against the Dover Area School Board’s decision to insert intelligent design into their schools’ science curriculum. A great ruling for anyone who prefers their science to be based less in folklore and more in, uhm, what’s the word for it…oh, yeah: science. MORE »

• Good night, New York City. We sure hope you’ve arranged alternate travel plans. [Gothamist] MORE »

•A word of warning: if you live in Fairfax County and are dating a woman with the first name April and the middle name Dawn, you should go to a friend or family member’s house, call the police, and hide until they arrive. [Washington Post]
Signs of a dramatic change: For the first time, DCist posts an article on Cakelove that doesn’t descend completely into a comment stream idiot-tizzy between self-proclaimed pastry experts and wielders of racial animus. [DCist]
•WMATA’s Board is giving serious thought to getting rid of CEO Richard White after a year of problems. Of course, White’s just about the only WMATA official who actually uses the system–most of the board wouldn’t recognize a red line train if it ran them down in the street. [Washington Post]
•Ward Three Candidate Sam Brooks launches his campaign’s “Idea Blog.” Now he needs to change his header picture so that it doesn’t look like ideas make his brain all hurty. [Sam Brook's Idea Blog]— DCEIVER

Alert tipster Darin Ipema provides Wonkette with a Separated at Birth image that’ll be sure to hurt your soul just in time for the weekend: MORE »

Oh, Note! Why do you tease and derange us so? We swore we would be lured no longer down your florid yet terminally occluded path of dim insinuation and addled wit. For that is where, we have learned by painful experience, the English language–to say nothing of the mental properties of sensemaking that have sustained its frail development over these many long centuries–goes not merely to die, but to be suckerpunched, pitifully buckled over and breathless, wailing the unanswerable plaint, “Why, Note, Why? What have I ever done to deserve this? Curse your portentous prolixities and your gnomic formulations of the teeth-grindingly obvious!”

Absurdly detailed Notely ruminations after the jump.

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