sequester
It Has Been Far Too Long Since We Were Mean To Charles Krauthammer
A guest post from your compatriot Alex Ruthrauff, aka “Sheriff Joe Biden.” Charles Krauthammer is known to many Americans as a roasted chicken perched atop a can of cheap domestic beer. He has a lucrative job writing untrue things about important topics like politics, war, economics and history in order to prevent too many people [...]
Newsmax Shocker: Stupid Dumb Jerk Joe Biden Slept In Hotel, Is Your New Marie Antoinette
Go to the kitchen and fix some macaroni and cut-up hot dog’s, Michelle Obama, there is a new Marie Antoinette in town running up shocking tabs on the taxpayers’ dime — one hundred million dimes? One thousand dimes? Somewhere in between? MATH. And that someone is Old Handsome Stupid Dumb Jerk Joe Biden, who thinks [...]
Sequester Eliminates Position Of White House Taster, President To Starve
Bammerz is still holding his lame ass meetings with Congressional Republicans in his latest flailing attempt to show them that he too wants to inflict as much needless pain on the vulnerable with stupid spending cuts. Apparently it was Susan Collins’ turn to have her special day with the President and as such she brought [...]
Republican Sequester Strategy As Smart And Honest As All Their Other Ones
On Friday, President Obama got all farmisht in his kepele and mixed up his sci-fi universes, causing nerds everywhere to explode like a peaceful planet that has no weapons under assault by a fleet of Klingon Birds of Prey. Way to alienate your biggest constituency, Nobummer! Still, when the smoke from the laser blasters cleared, [...]
Conservatives Unable To Contain Their Glee As The Sequester Punishes Insolent Subhumans
Happy Sequester Day everyone! Do you have anything special plans to mark this joyous occasion of across the board spending cuts to federally funded programs? No? Well most moochers are pretty upset by this wholesale abandonment of spending in the public interest. Only some enlightened people can see the glorious utopia that is on the [...]
Peggy Noonan Will Now Slur Her One-Million Word Book Report At You
We still get a wee thrill of joy every time there’s a new Peggy Noonan column. There’s a certain sad delight in watching someone who penned some of the best speeches of the last 50 years turn into the drunk lady at the country club – persistent, but mostly harmless. Before you ask, no we [...]
GOP Finger-Pointing Blame-Gaming Everyone Possible (Obama) Over This Sequester Nonsense
John Boehner is mad as hell, and he’s not going to take it anymore! So the Smoking Man dragged his rich Corinthian leather hide in front of a room full of reporters to say that the House of Representatives had done all it would do to avoid the upcoming sequester, and now is the time [...]
Your Wayback Time Machine To Last August’s House Vote On The Fiscal Cliff
Perhaps you have just watched John Boehner manage to stop himself from weeping through his press conference outlining where we go now, after yesterday’s ceremonial Shitting of the Bed. And you noticed (after of course noticing the ease with which he told fat lies like he was Mitt Romney in orangeface, again) that he mentioned [...]
Congress To Finish Destroying Country During Lame Duck Session
Yeah, we were there for “LAME DUCK ’10.” Time of our lives, man, time of our lives. The gays got their military, the U.S. and Russia decided not to nuke each other for another few years, some nutrition or FDA dongle was passed — it was a lot of congressional activity! (Also too, there was [...]
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