Tag: senators

Senators Survive Stupid Reality TV Show, Don’t Even Kill Each Other

Most members of Congress use their long August recess to get back home and load up on their favorite regional food that no one can make the right way in DC, while being photographed appearing to reconnect with voters. Added...
k to the g

Politico Reporter: Kirsten Gillibrand Is a Lying Liar, Since No Man in Congress Has Ever Been Sexist

On Wednesday, the New York Post published tidbits of what promises to be an entertaining and depressing new interview with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand in which she describes being called "fat" and told to work out more since she was getting "porky" by...

Paula Broadwell Was Going To Be A Senator, Because Why Not

Good morning, Wonkette darlings! It is Monday, and you have to ask yourself: are you getting a little bored with the Petraeus scandal? We mean, sure, it's fun thinking about the crazy grifting identical twins and hot (?)...

Terrible Hoax Person Hoaxing About Senator Deaths

Some huckleberry hoax-ster has been sending around spoof emails stating that Senator Patrick Leahy has died of cancer, when he really hasn’t--it was just a little heartburn from the onions in Aunt Mabel’s “famous” Independence Day potato salad. And...

Robert Byrd Is Official Old Enough For A Superlative

Everyone very loudly but gently say "congratulations" to Sen. Robert Byrd, who became the longest-serving lawmaker in the history of Congress today. He's like, "I look forward to serving you for the next 56 years and 320 days," which...

Charlie Crist Taps Random French Queer To ‘Warm His Seat’

Another Friday, another very minor political story closes out. Everything thank old Dan Balz for using the adjective "taps" in this Charlie Crist story, as is required.

JIM DEMINT IS THE REAL MISS SOUTH CAROLINA: South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint has written a new book about Hitler/Obama and the Iran and, uh, the South American countries and like such as: "Part of what we're trying to...

Al Franken Already Disappoints With Lack Of Clownishness

What kind of a so-called "comedian" is this soon-to-be Senator Al Franken, that he shows up in Washington D.C. without a fright wig and refuses to fake-hump Harry Reid during his first press conference in town? He was resolutely...

Orrin Hatch Can’t Drive

We of course never read Dana Milbank, but this little bit is actually kind of funny, due to the scarily incompetent driving of one Senator Orrin Hatch, who has not operated a motorcar since the fall of Vichy France. Sen....

Michael Steele Ain’t Got No Money For Moderates In the Hip-Hop GOP, Baby

Here's magnificent clown Michael Steele on the Fox News, straight up talkin' to that Neil Cavuto about the money, baby, the GOP purse. Cavuto asks him if he will withhold giving primary campaign funds to the three Republican Senators...

Judd Gregg Is Nominated President Of Commerce!

Yay a new era has dawned in Washington, bipartisanship forever, etc! After Barack Obama's pudgy comic foil had to renounce the Latino Consolation Prize due to a corruption investigation, people wondered who could possibly replace Bill Richardson. And then...

R.I.P. SENATOR PELL: One of Rhode Island's awesomest former senators has died at the age of 90. Claiborne Pell was a big fat liberal and a millionaire who was obsessed with UFOs and jogged around Newport in his old...

Examine Disputed Minnesota Ballots For Laffs!

Oh here is a fun game! Check out these actual disputed voter ballots from Minnesota, and look at what laughable excuses the Coleman and Franken campaigns have for arguing "voter intent" in one direction or the other. Minnesota Public...

POOR BABIES: Apparently all Democratic Senators are complaining about how each is allotted only eight tickets to Barack Obama's convention speech at Invesco Field. So everyone get together, let's say it in unison, here we go: Aww.

SENATOR TED STEVENS INDICTED: The elusive Alaskan snow leopard who brought you "a series of tubes" has been indicted by a federal grand jury in relation to a year-long corruption investigation.

What Is This Secret ‘DC Prep’ Trailer Thing?

Well. Here's a trailer for some sort of secret potential series about rich, preppy, well-connected young people in Washington. Aside from the YouTube title -- "DC PREP Trailer for Secret Television Series Coming Soon!" -- the Internet is not...