Wonkette

• POOR BABIES: Apparently all Democratic Senators are complaining about how each is allotted only eight tickets to Barack Obama’s convention speech at Invesco Field. So everyone get together, let’s say it in unison, here we go: Aww. [Ben Smith]

• SENATOR TED STEVENS INDICTED: The elusive Alaskan snow leopard who brought you “a series of tubes” has been indicted by a federal grand jury in relation to a year-long corruption investigation. [McClatchy]

Well. Here’s a trailer for some sort of secret potential series about rich, preppy, well-connected young people in Washington. Aside from the YouTube title — “DC PREP Trailer for Secret Television Series Coming Soon!” — the Internet is not telling us much more. MORE »

With all this talk about Chris Dodd and Kent Conrad getting SWEETHEART MORTGAGE DEALS giving them literally fractions of a percentage point off their mortgage interest and fees, it’s instructive to find out how many of America’s senators even have mortgages. A shocking number do not, which means they are either living in cardboard boxes like 99% of their bankrupted constituents, or they paid off their houses in 1957, back when John McCain was running for his first term. Find out what Politico’s intrepid researchers dug up, after the jump. MORE »

In a Sunday interview with the West Virginia’s Charleston Gazette newspaper, Senator Jay Rockefeller reinforced his support for Barry Obama. Mostly, however, he made fun of John McCain’s war experience with some heavy words about bombs. McCain is dehumanized and cannot understand the human condition, Rockefeller says, and that is why he enjoyed bombing the Vietnamese from the air so much. MORE »

Wow, we’d gotten so entangled in the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal that we forgot about America’s Gays and their leader, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho. What’s that unbelievably gay man been up to recently? When not scanning over intern applications, it seems he’s still going on about that little airport incident last summer. His lawyers have entered another “reply” to the court of Minnesota, arguing in vain that What He Did was not gay at all. Let’s find the most hilariously gay moments of this 42-page document! MORE »

It’s that time of year again, and the Hill is looking for 2008’s crop of ambitious, savvy whippersnappers to make up its corps of summer interns! They’ll get to organize back room deals and schmooze with the fat cats, but mostly, they’ll learn that running America isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And if you’re a summer intern for Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, who knows what else you’ll be forced to do? MORE »

JOHN MCCAIN, HELLCAT OF LOVE: Did you know that the senator from the sultry state of Arizona has a saucy temper and is “rough in the sandbox”? Now you do! [Washington Post] MORE »

One’s a Democrat, one’s a Republican, and together they’re Two Senators from Florida! Between that and the ’80s production values, maybe some Hollywood hotshot can round up a few writer scabs and turn this thing into the new Golden Girls. [YouTube]

We’ve been having loads of fun with gay restroom goblin Larry Craig over the past couple of months, haven’t we? What we’ve been missing, though, is an on-the-record account from a source willing to come forward and tell what it’s like to have an actual romantic liaison with the Idaho Republican. Meet David Phillips, a local IT geek and bear-about-town.

Phillips was recently in a bar minding his own business when he heard Craig’s voice on the television. “I went pale and nearly vomited,” Phillips says. It was the man he remembered from one of his creepiest sexual encounters twenty years earlier. “After a truncated meal I went back to my hotel room and began unwinding and jotting down the memories that the voice had opened. I recalled The Follies, the furtive groping and pawing there, the odd following of this man in my car….. Crap!”

Phillips’ embarrassing, Santorum-laced tale follows after the jump. MORE »