Tag: senator

Life of the sexxx party

Sloppy Sexxxy Drunk Lindsey Graham Way Better Than Regular Kind, Still Won’t Be President

A funny thing happened on the way to the Republican kids' table early bird pre-show "debate" for second-tier losers: Sen. Lindsey Graham got hammered. According to the bar full of journalists knocking it back with the South Carolina senator and...
Free kitten with every five mass shootings

VA Legislators Call Backsies, Black Magic, 123 No Takebacks On Gun Bill

Should stalkers, domestic abusers, and sexual batterers be allowed to buy and own guns? For several Republicans on the Virginia Senate Courts of Justice Committee, the answer is a resounding NO, followed by a YES, then a WHOOPS, then...
President Ted Cruz (R-Not Really)

Ted Cruz’s Underage Drinking Is The Only Thing We Like About Him

Yesterday, Buzzfeed reported that prominent Canadian gag gift Sen. Ted Cruz pled guilty to possession of alcohol as a minor in 1987. He was but a little Cruzlet in high school shortpants when he got pulled over (racially profiled?)...

Larry ‘Wide Stance’ Craig Is Back! And Guilty! Again!

Life is full of important lessons. Look both ways before crossing the street. If you are a professional sportsball player, don’t domestic violence a woman on video. Ladies, don’t get raped. And today, we learn a political lesson: If...

Obama Isn’t Trying To Ban Guns, He’s Just Trying [To Ban Guns]

  Those letters you get in the mail that beg you to give money to feed blind children to the whales in disempoverished communities are called "direct mail." Political organizations also use direct mail to raise money and recruit members because it's weirdly effective, especially...
Murrca!

Was Tennessee’s $300 Million Anti-Union Bribe To Volkswagen A Bribe?

Nice auto plant you got here, Volkswagen. Shame if anyone were to unionize it. Incredible though it may seem, that's the gist of this report from the front lines of the War Against Workers. In short, it looks like Tennessee offered...

Please Oh Please Run For President, Bernie Sanders

Earlier this month, Bernie Sanders told The Nation's John Nichols that he is "prepared to run for President of the United States," and now we are treated to a reminder of how awesome that would be every time we...
The best man to represent wherever he happens to land

Handsome Losers Scott Brown, Joe Miller Running For Office Again, But Where Is Christine O’Donnell?

FRIDAY TWOFER OF SHAME! Part I: Scott Brown, that handsome former Senator fellow who once accused Elizabeth Warren of masquerading as a Red Indian, is expected to "launch an exploratory committee for a U.S. Senate bid in New Hampshire,"...

No Unemployment Moolah For Minnesota GOP Staffer Canned For Laying Senator

ST. PAUL, Minn. Michael Brodkorb is an unemployed worker who is carrying a heavy burden like so many others during these challenging economic times. After losing his job, he filed for unemployment. Every day he waited at the...

‘NY Post’ Vindicated On Kennedy Story

Man, last night all the haters were hating on the Post for breaking the astonishing news that the nice rich lady with important friends had decided not to demand a lifelong appointment to the House of Lords after all....

HEADLINE OF THE DAY: "Plea Deal for Woman Accused of Having Sex With Senator's Husband." (And here's what it's actually talking about, and here's the hooker gal, too!)