senate

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired of hearing about some douchehole politician introducing yet another bill to protect the unborn masturbating fetuses and borrowing some nifty ideas from the not-hyperbole-but-actual-literal Nazis to explain how magic ladyparts work ergo ban abortion? Well, too bad, suckas, because that won’t be stopping anytime soon. […]

You know what is even less popular than interracial marriage? Congress, what because of how they suck times a million. But America continues to hold them in lower and lower regard, according to a new Gallup poll. How bad it is? Oh, how about NINE PERCENT, SINGLE DIGITS, BABY! Whoever had 11/12/13 in the office […]

Aw, this is so sweet and Jesus-y: The Senate on Wednesday adopted an amendment to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) from Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) that would prevent retaliation against religious organizations. Portman’s amendment — which would prevent retaliation against religious organizations that don’t hire someone because of sexual orientation or identity — passed by […]

Good news! Nevada Senator Dean Heller, a Republican, announced today that he will support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, likely giving the bill the 60 votes it needs to pass the Senate. After that, it will go to the House of Representatives, […]

Cory Booker, welcome to the Senate. On a day better known for scary costumes, you are one good-looking piece of eye-candy that we are very excited to see more of! And you were sworn in by the only man in the Senate we would like to bone more harder, Old Handsome Joe Biden, playing his […]

After a gloriously fulfilling celebratory circle-jerk for not ‘killing the hostage’ of the global economy, the Senate took a well-deserved two-week vacation. Unfortunately, tradition requires that they come back and find new ways to grab headlines without actually doing anything. While the Senate GOP would like nothing more than to get medieval on Ted Cruz’s […]

Buenos dias, Wonketeers. After weeks of pointless grandstanding by modern-day Dr. Suess El Senor Canadiano Ted Cruz, aren’t we all ready for Congress to, you know, do something positive rather than just tank fourth quarter economic output? Hey, how about that comprehensive immigration reform that the Senate was all positive about. Could be a good […]

We here at Wonket love… no, we luurrrvvveee hypocrisy. It feeds us, sustains us, amuses us, and gives us a reason for getting up every morning… that and whiskey. And there is no better source of hypocrisy than Sen. David Vitter (R-LA), who has once again taken a break from putting his ‘family values’ wenis […]

Eight minutes can be a really long time. It’s about the amount of time it takes light from the sun to travel to the earth. Or in more earthly terms, it’s twice as long as Gary’s never-gonna-happen fantasy about Piper Perabo. But if you are an addled, half-brained drooling Tea-jadist, then it is just the […]

Harry Reid is not perfect, as he’ll be the first to tell you. Second to tell you will be your Wonket, your Wonkette, and all of les enfants terrible who would leave comments here, if we allowed those. It’s a three-way tie of telling you second. That said, we can’t think of anyone who’s more […]

Well, everyone is saying that there were no winners last night, just because the GOP caused about $24 billion in economic harm so that John Boehner could get more MyFace friends from the Tea Party. Worth it. Well, everyone is WRONG. There was a clear winner last night, and it was the Strippers Union! Per […]

Remember back in 2008 when we were all briefly terrified that John McCain might win the presidency and then die and then Sarah Palin? As it turns out, WALNUTS! is winning his battle against actuarial science quite handily! Here he is on the floor of the Senate, looking more alive than Mitt Romney ever has, […]

Let’s see here. We have a divided Congress, an approaching debt ceiling, and bitter partisanship. Congress suggests putting together a bi-cameral committee to work out a solution to deal with federal spending and the debt limit. Maybe, perhaps, this could work. Tell us more, The Hill: The House will vote as soon as Tuesday on […]

Well, we are in week 2 of what seems to be a shutdown about… something … who really knows at this point? Now that Obamacare is glitchily bumbling along, what, exactly, is the GOP demanding for releasing the hostage? Who cares, at least the government is saving tons of money and the economy is still […]

Wow you guys, yesterday sure was a fun day for democracy and we have so much to talk about this morning! What was your favorite part of the great SHUTDOWNGHAZI!!1!!??? Was it that time when the Senate, a body not known for moving with anything approaching alacrity, took less than an hour to strip three […]