senate
Senate Republicans To Swift Boat John Kerry All Over Again, For Larfs
So Hillary Clinton is going to leave the State Department some day, and on that day the Great Impostor is going to need to find someone to replace her. Who else has the kind of 24-hour energy, common sense, and danciness to replace her? Maybe Ellen? No, not Ellen, Ellen can’t get through the Senate, [...]
A Special Wonkette Tribute To Fallen Senator Staple-Crotch, Massachusetts’s Own Scott Brown
It seems like just two months ago that we were in Tampa, Florida, hanging out with a bunch of Boston journos who explained, totally matter-of-factly, that it was a foregone conclusion that Senator Scott Brown (R-Playgirl) would handily beat sexy schoolmarm Elizabeth Warren in their #war for the senate. Why did they think that? “Because [...]
Live-Blogging The Final Ohio Senate Debate: We Just Can’t Get Enough Of Smurfy Boy Scout Josh Mandel
Sorry, sorry, we are 10 minutes late, we had to … well, we didn’t have to do anything actually, except convince ourselves to actually turn on THE SPAN and voluntarily face an hour with walking Clearasil ad/Ohio Treasurer Josh Mandel. Here we go! 7:14 PM — Oh good it is the surprisingly wee Chuck Todd. [...]
Super Cool Construction Worker From Scott Brown Ad Has Awesome Thoughts On ‘Faggots’ And Jews
So yesterday Scott Brown was all “I shit on those people supporting Elizabeth Warren, who’d lost loved ones to mesothelioma, who are totally paid actors, fuck them” and “in my ads we have real actual Scott Brown supporters or something, we don’t know we don’t want to have to look up the original story but [...]
Scott Brown Pretty Much Asking People Who Lost Loved Ones To Mesothelioma To Punch Him In The Nads
Hey, Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown! You are so cool and likable, everyone likes you so much! Why, professional Boston journalists what know stuff told us to our faces that without any doubt you were going to cream Elizabeth Warren this year, because people think you are a “good guy.” How have you shit on that [...]
Ohio Senate Candidate Josh Mandel Loves Women So Much, Has A Mom And Wife And Everything
Good times on the ol’ SPAN last night, as Ohio state Treasurer/debate club fetus TOOK IT to Senator Sherrod Brown, and by “took it to” we mean yelled his talking points with awesome macho frowning and stuff. Did you know that Josh Mandel served his country in Iraq? It is true, he did, though how [...]
And Now Is When We Watch Scott Brown And Elizabeth Warren Finally Fall In Love
Want to catch up on Senator Staple-Crotch dealing a death-blow to his “nice guy” image? Previous debatings here and here. (That second link is if you want to relive Third Man David Gregory finally succeeding in breaking your Wonkette, reducing us to a puddle of Tea Partyish rage. Your Editrix’s mother thought it was great!) [...]
Of Course We Will Be Live-Blogging The One Millionth Scott Brown-Elizabeth Warren Massachusetts Senate Debate
You know, in case Senator Staple-Crotch* decides to go Full Custer. (YOU NEVER GO FULL CUSTER!)
Bob Kerrey Nabs King Tut Endorsement
Achtung! Achtung! Important Hollywood Celebrity Endorsement News! But maybe Bob Kerrey’s opponent — whom Google tells us is one state Sen. Deb Fischer? — can get Janine Turner to cut her some crazy-ass vid. [PoliticalWire]
How Is Todd Akin Helping Claire McCaskill Today?
Oh how SHOCKING! We have just confirmed, via video, that crazy things have been coming out of Todd Akin’s mouth for many years now. For example, did you know that Todd Akin’s daughter writes science fiction stories about a dystopian future wherein child care is widely available and administered with efficiency, and that Todd Akin [...]
Here Is Your Gif Of Elizabeth Warren Trying And Failing Not To Laugh At Scott Brown
Last night’s Massachusetts Senate Debate clusterfuck, “moderated” by David Gregory, almost broke Your Editrix as she melted into a #sloppysloppy puddle of outrage and vapors. But here, via Buzzfeed, is Elizabeth Warren laughing her ass off at Scott Brown’s answer to the question “Who is your model Supreme Court justice?” Brown delayed answering for about [...]
Massachusetts Senate Live Blog: The Thrilla In Vanilla
You guys there is yet another debate tonight in Massachusetts and we are beside ourselves with excitement waiting for the answer to the eternal question, JUST HOW RACIST WILL SCOTT BROWN BE? We bet he goes full Andrew Jackson. Because for the last hour, his supporters have been doing war whoops and tomahawk chops outside [...]
Tonight At 7PM: Hunk With Truck Faces Professor With Dresser
Tonight at 7PM EST, Miss Lady Rebecca will be live-blogging Massachusetts Senate debate between war-whoopin’ Scott Brown and getting rapidly more pissed off about this whole thing Elizabeth Warren. Be here! Be attentive! Listen for the not-at-all-veiled racism!
Gentleman Scholar Todd Akin Laments Claire McCaskill’s Loss Of Ladydom
Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin is back in the Missouri Senate race … because he never left it, son. Having weathered the storm caused by the liberal media pretending he thinks vaginas are washing machines for rape sperm (truth: he thinks they are car washes for rape sperm), Todd Akin now has to figure out how [...]
Todd Akin Explains Inner Workings of Democracy In Language You Can Understand
Here is a pressing question that might be keeping you up nights, particularly if you live in whatever district in Missouri Todd Akin (R-Ladiesman) represents: What if you want to tell Todd Akin how much he sucks? How do you know he will listen to you and absorb what is sure to be thoughtful and [...]
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