Tag Archives: Senate campaigns

  the derp is as high as an elephant's eye

Why Does Charlie Pierce Insist On Making Joni Ernst Look Stupid By Making Her Talk?

Joni Ernst abides.
Barack Obama: Is he apathetic or the world’s most insidious dictator? Black or white? Floor wax or dessert topping? Senate candidate and prominent hog de-baller Joni Ernst of Iowa isn’t sure. On the one hand he is cramming Obamacare, the greatest tyranny since Pharoah made the Jews build all those pyramids, down the throats of the helpless American people, an offense which Joni will resist with all her guns if need be. Read more on Why Does Charlie Pierce Insist On Making Joni Ernst Look Stupid By Making Her Talk?…
  grab yer popcorn

Watch RI Senate Candidate Do Creepy Mind Control On Innocent Child

Here, HERE is how the opening to the Sarah Palin Is Eaten By Moon Nazis movie sequel will start: there will be a guy with a silly name like “Barry Hinckley,” a Republican candidate for the United States Senate who looks vaguely like a post-meltdown Charlie Sheen, growing flustered when his prop 5-year-old child malfunctions under questioning from Fox News poop chute Neil Cavuto. “Are you worried about the debt?” Cavuto asks. “Um, no,” says the kid. Shit. Dad’s going to have to rewire the kid ON AIR. How does he do it? Scroll forward to around 2:44 and then see if you can tell us what the hell you just saw. Read more on Watch RI Senate Candidate Do Creepy Mind Control On Innocent Child…
  failed humans

Ex-WaMu Banker Somehow Manages To Call Ocupados ‘Entitled’

Tom Leppert is running for Senate in Texas. Who is Tom Leppert? He is a strange tool who wants to collect email addresses for his Senate campaign fundraising spam lists by starting a delusional petition site to “End the Occupation” because, he says, “the Occupy Wall Street crowd represents the same flawed values that got our country into this economic mess.” Hm. What else do we know about Tom Leppert? Tom Leppert believes no one has ever heard of “Google search,” because he was also the chairman of Washington Mutual’s audit committee right before the bank torched $63 billion of its investors’ money and became the most failed bank in American history. Tom Leppert, in other words, basically INVENTED “flawed values,” so, uh, he would know?  Read more on Ex-WaMu Banker Somehow Manages To Call Ocupados ‘Entitled’…
  Better than 'The Karate Kid'

Linda McMahon Will Kick Your Junk, For Liberalism

Connecticut GOP Senate candidate Peter Schiff is trying to raise enough funds to educate the good people of the Nutmeg State about his primary opponent, wrestling lady Linda McMahon, and her out-of-control, crotch-kicking ways. This information could save thousands of Republican men from making unwanted trips to the testicle doctor. Read more on Linda McMahon Will Kick Your Junk, For Liberalism…