Hark, fellow peasants, the House of Lords hath charitably queried its masters and shall permit a rather uncouth “bill of laws” to sully the golden carpets and golden chairs of its exclusive bordello of gold and money and diamonds. We are not worthy recipients of your showerings of mercy, ye angels! MORE »

Democratic Sens. Blanche Lincoln and Mary Landrieu finally called their own bluff and announced at the last minute that they would, controversially, vote to allow the Senate to debate a piece of legislation it has spent most of this year crafting, to help provide affordable medical care to people. What heroes. Their procedural votes for their own party’s major bill cost the nation hundreds of millions of dollars in pork handouts. That’s how Serious About The Deficits they are. MORE »

Poor self-important freshman Senator Claire McCaskill. She’s been in the Senate for nearly three whole years now and it’s made her tired and sad and maybe everyone should just give Congress a break, because what’s most important to the American people is that every current senator gets re-elected: “I don’t think anyone’s excited about doing another really, really, big thing that’s really, really hard that makes everybody mad. Climate fits that category.” Ugh, AMEN, cause then you’ve got to read it… write it… explain it to people… organize… make up your mind… this is not what Claire McCaskill expected the Senate to be like! It was supposed to just be super easy votes on awesome things like wars and other wars and tax cuts and junk. [Ezra Klein]

CANCEL YOUR DISCO DANCING PLANS! Whoa it’s a Drudge Siren, who died and what was the hooker’s name? No, damnit, this is a health care update! Harry Reid has filed a motion to proceed with debate on his Senate health care bill, and a cloture vote is scheduled for 8 p.m. this Saturday. This will be the first of two procedural votes requiring 60 votes before a vote on the final bill. Joe Lieberman has said he’ll vote for this one, but three other self-centered liars from “Real America” are still thought to be Wavering. They should come around. If not, your Wonkette will type unusually mean things about them, every day, until they’re voted out of office. [TPM]

Not sure if this nightmarish requiem is official, but “sources say” that America’s mayor, Rudy Giuliani — who recently ran the worst presidential campaign in American history, centered around his major career accomplishment of having the worst terrorist attack in American history strike New York City’s two tallest buildings under his watch — is planning to run for Senate in next year’s special election, to fill the last two years of Hillary Clinton’s term. This will be the snarling beast’s stepping stone to the presidency, once and for all! (No, that’s really his plan.) Everyone loves a guy who was mayor of a city 10 years ago! MORE »

• HERE YOU GO: The ABSOLUTELY TRUE (completely arbitrary) conventional wisdom regarding the CBO’s scoring of Harry Reid’s Senate health care bill has been that it needs to come in at less than $900 billion, or the entire reform effort would collapse, and Trig’s army would finally seize its opportunity cross the Rubicon. The report’s coming out now: $849 billion. Now, for Harry Reid, it’s just a matter of convincing several members of his own party to not join Republicans in a filibuster to block this important bill from reaching an open debate on the Senate floor. Debates have well-known Stalinist agendas, according to a website. [Politico]

Here’s the RNC’s fancy new web ad arguing that Ben Nelson or any other moderate Democrats would be hypocrites if they didn’t filibuster a motion to proceed on a health care bill. They claim that this would be akin to John Kerry’s famous “for it before I was against it” line on Iraq funding in 2004, which is wrong, although John Kerry is still terrible at speaking. But! We do appreciate the RNC’s production here, for the first time ever. The menacing, twitching figures, the repetition, the gritty industrial vibe. Too bad no one will ever see it. [Washington Independent]

Oh look, Harry Reid has filed a motion to bring his health care bill to the Senate floor any day now! He hopes to start the debate next week after the CBO finishes scoring his bill, which has to be under $900 billion, or everyone will die. MORE »

Beloved South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham is gay for three things: Joe Lieberman, John McCain, and acting like a responsible adult once every year or so, to no avail. It is for Lindsey Graham’s latest bout with his third gayness that the Charleston County GOP has now censured him, which is the political term for “doing nothing of any value.” MORE »

• UNEMPLOYED WILL SOON BE THE RICHEST OF ALL! The Senate just passed a procedural motion to bring a bill extending unemployment benefits to a floor vote, finally, after weeks of terrible Republican ACORN amendment obstruction. Just stave off the starvation a little bit longer, welfare queens, because soon enough you’ll be able to eat those fine mink coats that you’ll buy with your unemployment money! The procedural motion passed 97 to 1. Try to guess the asshole before clicking. [CQ]

• Maurice R. Greenberg, the impossibly geriatric former head of AIG, has been quietly luring young, unsuspecting insurance execs to his new firm. [New York Times]
• Harry Reid promised out loud that the new health care bill will have a public option, which means it actually might! [Washington Post]
• Like half an hour ago, NASA sent the the largest rocket ever (327 ft.) into space. The moon was unharmed. [CNN]
• Starting nowish, a Senate committee will meet for the next three days in order to figure out some tenable clean energy initiatives. It’s bipartisan, because look: Lamar Alexander! [Reuters]
• Over the last three days, 700 adults were arrested in sweeping sex-with-children raids that spanned 36 cities. [Los Angeles Times]
• The Somali pirates not only continue to exist if everyone pretty much ignores them, they also apparently continue to kidnap British people. [Times Online]