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Tag: semen

History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Fox News SHOCKER: Hillary Clinton Beat Bill Like An Egg-Stealing Hound

Fox News, America's most reliable and trusted cable news outlet, has been muddling around for years now, trying to find some dirt on Hillary Clinton that will really stick. Benghazi, excuse us, BENGHAZHI!!1!, has turned out to be a bust. The...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Semen Masks Make A Sticky Situation

Welcome back, dearest readers! It's time once more for the weekly helping of head-desking "moran"-acy known as the Snake Oil Bulletin. This week we're tackling the topic of fitness bloggers, those handsomish, sexy people who populate our interwebs with their...

Jizz Causes Lady Cancer, And Other Fun Sex Tips From The Duggars

We've learned so much about the Duggars in the past couple weeks! Of course, we now know, in grisly detail, about how Josh Duggar molested five girls, four of whom were also his co-stars on TLC's 19 Kids And Counting,...
You'd think a guy who wears ducky jammies in public would have better judgment

Rep. Blake Farenthold: I Did Not Have ‘Wet Dreams’ About Sexing That Staffer I Fired

In December, we gasped and clutched our pearls and LOL'd sooooo hard and then gagged even harder at the news that Texas Congressfool Blake Farenthold (R-Footie Pajamas) had been sued for sexually harassing his former communications director, Lauren Greene,...

Today In Hitler: Hitler Loved Cocaine And Bull Semen And Farting Everywhere

Here is your weekly Thursday Fun Post About Hitler! What has Hitler done now? Well, according to Science, Hitler "craved cocaine and cars," injected himself with young bull semen so he could have mad coked-out bull sex with Eva...

Sweaty, Panting Biden Says ‘Heavy Lifting’ Is Done

Joe Biden has apparently been personally working very hard to get stuff passed, because at a fundraiser today, he said "the heavy lifting is over." The boxes have been moved to America's new apartment! The Hispanic fellows have been...

C Street Just A Den Of Semen

As a famous statistician once said, "Three data points make a trend," and that is why we can now confidently announce that the Bible study-group-slash-frat house known as the C Street Group stands at the cutting edge of the...

Oregon Legislators Disgusted With Their Own Bill

EWWWWWWWWWW Oregon state legislators are filthy! All they talk about is blood and poop and semen. They wrote a bill about this stuff because they are gross. (Also, to protect Women.) Basically it says that before you give the...

Leak Speak: J.M. in Sag Harbor