Tag Archives: semen

  sex respect

Jizz Causes Lady Cancer, And Other Fun Sex Tips From The Duggars

We’ve learned so much about the Duggars in the past couple weeks! Of course, we now know, in grisly detail, about how Josh Duggar molested five girls, four of whom were also his co-stars on TLC’s 19 Kids And Counting, i.e., his sisters. We’ve also been learning more and more about the creepy homeschooling cult the Duggars subscribe to, that of alleged sex crimer Bill Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute (ATI). We know the sort of horrific counseling Josh’s victims likely received, using materials from the ATI cult that suggest when little girls are molested, they share some of the blame, for being female, and for being available targets. Read more on Jizz Causes Lady Cancer, And Other Fun Sex Tips From The Duggars…
  Innocent until proven disgusting

Rep. Blake Farenthold: I Did Not Have ‘Wet Dreams’ About Sexing That Staffer I Fired

Like THIS GUY would ever be nasty? Nahhh
In December, we gasped and clutched our pearls and LOL’d sooooo hard and then gagged even harder at the news that Texas Congressfool Blake Farenthold (R-Footie Pajamas) had been sued for sexually harassing his former communications director, Lauren Greene, who was coincidentally fired. COINCIDENTALLY, people, and probably NOT for complaining that she did not want to hear his sexytime talk, ew, gross. Because who would ever in a million years believe that such an upstanding guy, who wants to impeach President Obama for invading America with Ebola and also not really being a real U.S. American, would be capable of such untoward indecency? Read more on Rep. Blake Farenthold: I Did Not Have ‘Wet Dreams’ About Sexing That Staffer I Fired…
  thursday fun post about hitler

Today In Hitler: Hitler Loved Cocaine And Bull Semen And Farting Everywhere

Here is your weekly Thursday Fun Post About Hitler! What has Hitler done now? Well, according to Science, Hitler “craved cocaine and cars,” injected himself with young bull semen so he could have mad coked-out bull sex with Eva Braun, and farted up a storm, maybe in Eva Braun’s face, because he was hilarious and also, too, because he was a vegetarian. Man, Hitler was nuts. When will Obama apologize for being Hitler and farting and doing coke in fast cars with bull semen? Read more on Today In Hitler: Hitler Loved Cocaine And Bull Semen And Farting Everywhere…
  closing time

Sweaty, Panting Biden Says ‘Heavy Lifting’ Is Done

Joe Biden has apparently been personally working very hard to get stuff passed, because at a fundraiser today, he said “the heavy lifting is over.” The boxes have been moved to America’s new apartment! The Hispanic fellows have been given a tip! And pizza has been ordered! Congratulations, the U.S. government is done for now, and you no longer need to pay attention to politics until after the midterm elections, because Joe Biden says so. Read more on Sweaty, Panting Biden Says ‘Heavy Lifting’ Is Done…
  they better have a good maid service

C Street Just A Den Of Semen

As a famous statistician once said, “Three data points make a trend,” and that is why we can now confidently announce that the Bible study-group-slash-frat house known as the C Street Group stands at the cutting edge of the marital infidelity movement. Read more on C Street Just A Den Of Semen…
  thursday bukkake hour

Oregon Legislators Disgusted With Their Own Bill

EWWWWWWWWWW Oregon state legislators are filthy! All they talk about is blood and poop and semen. They wrote a bill about this stuff because they are gross. (Also, to protect Women.) Basically it says that before you give the nice lady a Cleveland Steamer, make sure she consents. Read more on Oregon Legislators Disgusted With Their Own Bill…
 

That Guy & This Pres Somehow Prove Bush Guilty

That was a pretty great trick sending all those bloggers to the Scooter Libby trial — is there a better way to get rid of noisy political nuts than sentencing them to fake jury duty forever? Read more on That Guy & This Pres Somehow Prove Bush Guilty…
 

Cartoon Violence Thinks It’s Like This But Really It’s Like This

It’s time once again for resident curmudgeonly comics analyst the Comics Curmudgeon to take a stab at explaining Today’s Cartoons. Someone’s got to. This week, metaphors! Learn why they should be left to the experts, after the jump. Also, there is semen. Read more on Cartoon Violence Thinks It’s Like This But Really It’s Like This…
 

Leak Speak: J.M. in Sag Harbor

• “A nasty man recently threw me in jail, and several of my least favorite co-workers just ganged up on me in the pages of my own paper. Needless to say, these critics are a bunch of pansy assholes.” J.M. in Sag Harbor asks the Ethicist. [Panopticist] • “Relentless and totally out of control,” “eager to let you know that she travelled in a world of international intrigue and important people,” who could they possibly be talking about? [Gawker] • Arianna reads between the telephone lines regarding Libby’s call to Tim Russert. [HuffPo] • “If only lies left semen stains.” [The Daily Show] • Jason Zengerle zings Joe Wilson: “Wilson’s op-ed was entitled, ‘Our 27 months of hell.’ A better title might have been, ‘How to turn your 15 minutes into 27 months.'” [TNR’s The Plank] • The WP bundles all the scandal buzzwords into one incoherent mess. (Hey, that’s what blogs are for!) [WP] Read more on Leak Speak: J.M. in Sag Harbor…