Wonkette

Defensetech.org draws our attention to two stories of the Pentagon’s new recruitment and training efforts: MORE »

Jokes to write selves: MORE »

* Jonah Goldberg really wants some holographic technology, ’cause regular internet porn just isn’t doing it for him any more. [The National Review] MORE »

Must… resist… easy joke… fight… creeping Leno-ism… at any cost… MORE »

All right, we’re taking the rest of the day off. NEWS CAN MAKE FUN OF ITSELF, THANK YOU. MORE »

* But we can’t pay our booze bills with “trendy,” can we? [CNN Money] MORE »

Greta van Susteren, having had enough with the ineffectual foreign police departments, refocuses her attention on MSN.com. MORE »

Apparently the hammer was quite incensed to meet Rep. Patrick Kennedy, the Rhode Island Democrat who famously quipped, “I have never worked a fucking day in my life.” The hammer — which had worked many days over the course of its life — therefore struck Kennedy in his big fat mouth. MORE »

Our inbox has been flooded with hilarious responses to our request for “Jurassic beaver” jokes. We will review and consider all of the responses that we have already received; but due to overwhelming reader response, we will not be accepting further submissions at this time. MORE »

But it’s late in the blogging day, and we’re too tired to come up with one — so please make up your own punchline, and put it into the comments for this post. (Or send us a clever punchline by email, and we’ll send you some comment invites in return.) MORE »