Tag Archives: segways

  Are you sure they said today?

Hundreds of Patriots, Cleverly Disguised As Tourists, Rally For Impeachment At White House

At noon on Saturday, the Real Americans of the greater Washington, DC metropolitan area were set to celebrate National Impeach Obama Week by meeting at the White House to call for the immediate impeachment of Kenyan Usurper President Barry Soetoro. The Wonket Washington Bureau readied full team coverage and had the interns price out some down-market gas masks, expecting a constitutionally righteous mob of sign-wielding activists surging forward against a line of police officers summoned from surrounding jurisdictions. Read more on Hundreds of Patriots, Cleverly Disguised As Tourists, Rally For Impeachment At White House…
  idiots on parade

A Children’s Treasury Of All The Lunatics At Sunday’s Million Vet March

give me a fancy coif or give me ...
There were not quite one million veterans at the World War II Memorial on Sunday morning. When your correspondent arrived at 8:30, having already passed a cluster of Oath Keepers staging on the Starbucks patio at 18th and I, about five hundred people were peaceably assembled in the open space of the memorial. Whatever violence had been done to the Barrycades had already transpired, as they were lying defeated in heaps next to busted-open sandbags, festooned with flags. With an improvised sound system that was not quite up to the task, the program was soon underway: the Pledge of Allegiance, the National Anthem, and words of encouragement from some of the nation’s illustrious elected officials, one of whom has, at the time of this writing, completed a term in office. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of All The Lunatics At Sunday’s Million Vet March…
  radioactive flowering trees

A Children’s Treasury of Japanese Tree Flowers

There are many great things that come with the start of spring, like homeless people returning to Dupont Circle, tourists on Segways, free cone day, and Jesus. Of all the obligatory D.C. spring activities, though, there’s nothing more loved than staring at the cherry blossoms, even if those pretty pink blossoms look exactly the same every year. But, since Japan is just awful these days, and because we’re all but one old Brita filter away from radiation poisoning, we thought now is a good time to figure out what exactly cherry blossoms are and how they ended up in the nation’s capital. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Japanese Tree Flowers…
 

President Probably the Type Who Gives Gift Cirtificates For Birthdays

Vladimir Putin’s Kennebunkport visit ended with a surprising shared defense proposal that both sides will debate for a while before ultimately shelving until both presidents are replaced by overwhelmed successors. Also, G. H. W. Bush gave Vlad a present! Read more on President Probably the Type Who Gives Gift Cirtificates For Birthdays…