How did you get to work today?  Hopefully you risked your life and took the Metro.  Or did you drive? Because if you did, you’re in big, big trouble.  It’s Car Free Day DC, which means that walking, biking, and mass transit are the only acceptable means to get from point A to point B today. Even if you’re that cool and you always take the Metro, today DC celebrates all non-drivers for their service to the country and looks down on those who actually drove on this beloved day. MORE »

So no less than three (3) Richmond people told us that we just HAD to go visit the Hollywood Cemetery, where Jim Morrison is buried, because nowhere else will you see such an outstanding specimen of pastoral cemetery design. Of course we had no time to visit this ghoulish wasteland of cadavers, so we saw the next best thing: a monument to George Washington, located just outside the Virginia State House. This monument included a little door in the bottom to put Washington’s corpse in, but then obviously Washington was too big to fit through it (he is at the top there). Plus he was already dead and buried up at Mount Vernon, so now they use the little hobbit-door for storing wine and ripe cheeses. MORE »

It’s the post you’ve been waiting for, the one where we point out that the acronym for a certain fanciful robot-car for lazy urban dorks is the same as the acronym for bitterly disenfranchised Hillary Clinton voters, har! Mark Penn is obviously behind this microtrend, called “Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility,” or “Party Unity My Ass,” for short. MORE »

Thank you, Capital Segway, for giving DCites another thing to cringe about: Segway sightseeing tours. Now that the weather is warming up, flocks of fanny-packed tourists are just rolling around town (these people in the photo above were in front of the White House) in their Segways, giving Our Fine City a bad name. MORE »

• Reliable Source: Patron rides Segway into Bistro Bis. . . Bush and the Belgian prime minister talked for nearly an hour about biking. . . For the inauguration of Liberia’s first female president, Barbara Bush was “‘Sex and the City’ chic in a skintight turquoise dress and open-toe snakeskin high-heels.” [WP]
• Under the Dome: Larry David is tickled to no end over sandwich coincidence. . . Rep. Roy Blunt’s (R-Mo.) campaign bought roybluntsucks.com and other variations. . . The Federal City Club is closing. [The Hill]
• Inside the Beltway: White House pool report notes African “women balancing baskets on their heads.” [WT]

In this White House pool report, the President conquers his demons, and gets another scooter out of the White House:

The Leader of the Free World did, indeed, hop onto a Segway scooter and cruised for an undetermined distance at the Guest House under the no-doubt admiring gaze of his Japanese host. Duffy, through Carroll, said the new Segway was a gift from the president to the prime minister. One has to use one’s imagination as to how fast the President-guided the Segway or whether he managed a more graceful dismount than the last time he was seen on one of these scooters.

We like to think he rode it one handed, whooping, yelling, “Suck on it, Fitzy!!! SUCK IT!”

Full report after the jump.

MORE »