Wonkette

Like so many McCain campaign disasters — choosing Phil “Poor People Suck” Gramm as financial adviser or announcing a press conference on an oil rig during a hurricane — it probably seemed like a terrific idea at the time: Harass Barack Obama into embarking on an international fact-finding mission thing, which would obviously provide so many embarrassing gaffes and make Americans scared to death of the Boy Muslim President. MORE »

Barack Obama’s had his big interview with Katie Couric, and we have excerpts! Somehow, he seems to let Katie Couric trap him, too, with regards to the Surge. She asks him, at one point, if, Given What We Know Now about declined violence in Iraq, he would’ve supported the Surge last year, hmm? Rather than offer his very logical strategic position on this, he tries to make it an economic issue, about how much these damn wars cost during a time when no one has a home in America. Move the debate back home, but let “The Surge Worked” live yet another day. FTW. MORE »

How the hell does John McCain get away with saying this today: “I had the courage and judgment to say that I would rather lose a political campaign than lose a war. It seems to me that Sen. Obama would rather lose the war in order to win a political campaign.” How does that even make sense? Let’s imagine hypothetically that we are fighting some war in which “winning” and “losing” are the actual, real-world options. Barack Obama actively wants to “lose” this war! This Obama greaseball goes around saying he wants to be president, yet he knows so little about Foreign Policy that he believes the president should declare wars, and then work to lose them. [YouTube]

Much as we’d like to ignore them, teevee bimbo Heidi Montag and her idiot boyfriend Spencer Pratt keep finding their way onto this site. First they endorse John McCain, and then Heidi becomes friends with Meghan McCain, another random unemployed blogger. Tsk tsk, Meghan! This crowd does not like you for your personality! Because if you look now, Heidi & Spencer are publicly bragging about how they’ll get Meghan to pull some strings with her father for a trip to “entertain the troops.” But entertain how? MORE »

The Obama campaign is all about IMAGE CONTROL these days and GOOD OPTICS, which is why nobody can wear a green Hamas shirt around the candidate. Now Barack Obama is stone cold ignoring the press on his Middle Eastern Hope ‘N Basketball Tour, leaving it to some military nobody to hold the camera while he shoots three-pointers when really such hard-hitting news coverage should be left to trained journalistic professional nobodies. MORE »

The mouth-breathers in charge of GOP.com, the RNC’s hilarious website, still have this ticker proudly displayed front-and-center on their homepage. While Barack Obama has still not agreed to McCain’s series of 12,000 town hall duels, he is in Baghdad right now, which we believe is in Iraq, so this counter on the left should probably be at zero. Or is this whole trip a green-screened conspiracy, like 9/11, which Barack Obama also planned? Why is Barack Obama inventing 9/11 trips today? [GOP.com]

Stylish wordsmith Barack Obama had an op-ed in the New York Times last week, which is kind of a big deal. He could be the next David Brooks or Bill Kristol or even Maureen Dowd! So then Grampa Walnuts McCain was all, “Argghhh, I should get a column in the New York Times, I was tortured,” so the Times is all, “Okay, submit one, we guess?” MORE »

No timetables for leaving Iraq, declares our George W. Bush! The terrorists would dine out on a timetable! This is why we do not have a timetable for leaving Iraq, even though the Iraqi government wants one (although they have elections too and may be PANDERING to bums who will be killed upon withdrawal[!]). Today, however, “The United States and Iraq have agreed to set a ‘general time horizon’ for the ‘further reduction of U.S. combat forces in Iraq.’” Ooh, this is the ticket. It’s sort of like saying “nothing will change at all, and this crap should temporarily appease both of our stupid constituencies,” but with a different set and sequence of words. [NYT]

Here’s a Fox News clip from today of John McCain’s communications director Jill Hazelbaker, a.k.a. “the poor man’s Dana Perino.” She said that Barack Obama is not going to the Middle East to learn anything about the situation On The Ground — a stark contrast to avid listener John McCain, who learned about the two kinds of Muslims during his last trip to the region. MORE »

So far this election season, the most effective labeling campaign against Barack Obama has come from a few thousand inbred adult retards who signed up for a free 500-hour AOL trial in 1997 and never had their service shut down due to a “clerical error,” which is what nowadays allows them to forward racist NOOBAMA chain emails back and forth with each other for entire afternoons at a time. The McCain campaign, on the other hand, has failed miserably to label Obama with each passing attempt, most of which are modest variations on either “how did this damn kid get on my lawn?” or “some Asians — Barack Obama, namely — tortured me in the military hundreds of years ago.” Today on a conference call, however, a McCain adviser touted the campaign’s new “thinking outside the box” ploy: Barack Obama is the same person as George W. Bush, the terrible and presiding leader of the Republican party. MORE »