• May 27, 2012

security

Hmm, maybe this generally apathetic country will actually rise up against something! They really don’t want other people to see their privates; they just want to see other people’s privates. Anyway, if you do any sort of thing to TSA agents right now, you will be famous! According to police, John A. Christina, 51, admitted [...]

An advisor to Sen. Barbara Boxer was arrested yesterday for having some marijuana on him during a security screening at the Hart Senate Office Building yesterday, according to Politico, which is known for sticking pot in the pockets of Hill staffers along with copies of Politico. Marcus Stanley, the pot-haver in question, has worked on [...]

Again, the background cannot be reiterated too many times: on Jeebus’ birthday, a rich 23-year-old Nigerian dipshit loosely affiliated with The Terrorists attached a dime-bag of firecrackers to his boner, held snug by a dirty skid-marked tighty whity diaper apparatus. He tried to blow up his magical cockbomb on an airplane over Detroit and failed [...]

TPM has been all over that story about the terrifying private security company that secretly bought a fancy public jail from a Montana town, so as to convert it into a War Facility. The head of the company is such a dirty criminal that the best title anyone can give him is “California-based grifter.” And [...]

President Obama has dispatched an army of sterilization goons to London in advance of the G20 meeting this week. Their task: to remove the gonads of any human who invades the “sterile area” around the president. Obama also sent his driver over early so that he could familiarize himself with the quaint English custom of [...]

George W. Bush’s armed phalanx of security goons did a piss-poor job of defending the President from the terrible threat of shoes the other day. Ever since the shoe bomber incident of 2001, every moran in America has known what a dangerous weapon a simple human foot-covering can be. So why did security screeners not [...]

WONKETTE INSTANT POLL ANALYSIS

by Alex Pareene  11:12 am April 11, 2006