secret service

Well that is a relief! The fine fellows at Zombie Industries, the ones who nyuk-nyuk-nyuked about their bleedy Barack Obama “Rocky” target what bleeds when you murder it with your gun, have “discontinued” their shooting targets of “The Ex.” Coincidentally, the Ex is a pretty lady in lingerie what bleeds when you murder it with [...]

WELL WELL WELL, Mean Ugly Joe Biden! Not only have you murdered a Secret Service dog just to watch it die — do you really want to be Hillary Clinton that bad?? — but now you are SCANDALOUSLY ruining small business owners’ parking garage takes during Mardi Gras, by not-actually-closing-down the parking garage at all. [...]

Remember back in April, when the Secret Service got in trouble because it was not only hiring hookers, but refusing to pay them? They were not even being scrupulous about their unscrupulous deeds! A bunch of people got fired, and everybody forgot and moved onto the next national security crisis, and then Benghazi, probably, and [...]

Yesterday we examined a blind quote, as reported by a local Virginia TV station, about how the Secret Service agents working for Joe Biden “thanked” bakery owner Chris McMurray for rejecting a visit form the the vice president and “standing up” to the evil Obama campaign Chicago-style photo-op machine’s YOU DIDN’T BAKE THAT juggernaut of [...]

By now many of you are familiar with the story of the greatest motherfucking American of all time, Chris McMurray, the Virginia bakery owner who turned down a requested stop from Vice President Biden yesterday over President Obama’s “YOU DINNT BUILD THAT” comment. He did build it, see! He makes cupcakes and stuff, with his [...]

Look at what the freedom-hating Chinese government has done! They’ve gone and passed a law saying that it is illegal to enter a “restricted” area even if you didn’t know that the space was restricted, and also made it illegal to protest in said “restricted” area or do anything that could be “disruptive,” like booing. [...]

Sure, sure, it may seem a little … what’s the word … counterintuitive to say the upper-middle-class black lady who grew up in a struggling South Side family and pulled herself up by her … what’s the word … bootstraps … is the one who’s comically out of touch with the American people, and not, [...]

One would think that the words following “Michelle Obama threatened by…” would be something along the lines of “Slurpee Machine Technicians” or “Vengeful Hoveround Gang.” Actually, though, the threats made against the First Lady’s life in recent days came from – surprise! – a police officer and a run-of-the-mill moron. First, a D.C. police officer [...]

Isn’t it great how Election Season brings out the best in all of us, making us ever delight in doing more and better for our fellow man? (And womyn, ladies!) Also, isn’t it terrific how Election Season makes us all very very smart and intelligent? USA! Well, we have another winner in the newest let’s-all-murder-one-another-for-democracy [...]

“What do you suppose are the chances,” wonders Townhall columnist Mona Charen, that the Cartagena Dozen or whatever, like and watch porn? It’s very important that we talk about this, says Ms. Charen, because if we can just know this one thing, maybe it explains everything, and if we can stop porn, maybe we can [...]

Well now we are getting to the bottom of this! When the Secret Service was sexing all those ladies in Cartagena, was that an isolated incident? NO IT WAS NOT! And how do we know this? Because Defense Secretary Leon Panetta “admitted” that last year three US Marines hired a sex worker in Brazil! Now, [...]

Oh dear, Sen. Chuck Grassley snuck out the window again after lights-out, and now he’s leading inquiries into the Secret Service sex scandal. Whatcha got so far, inspector? “Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) said the Colombia prostitutes at the center of the Secret Service scandal may have been spies planted by the Russian government.” And if [...]

What’s this, what’s this? Former halfterm governor and sexy grandma Sarah Palin opened her permanently lip-linered lips and words came out and they were not lies, for a while! Somebody call an ambulance, Sarah Palin might have been having a stroke! The shockingly true words spilled forth after the Washington Post reported that one of [...]

Ted Nugent is having a barbecue with the Secret Service, because he simply cannot stop asking ladies and Barack Obama to ride his machine gun, and suck on his machine gun, and die from the bullets ejaculating forth from his machine gun, and now he is like a black Jew at a Klan rally, he [...]

A heated exchange between a prostitute and a Secret Service agent has led to an embarrassing situation for President Obama to deal with. It turns out eleven U.S. Secret Service agents and five military service members are under investigation and facing possible reprimand for allegedly cavorting with prostitutes and drinking excessively at a Colombian hotel [...]


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