It would be helpful to the authorities if some of these Occupy protesters would do something a little more guilty than being an Iraq veteran shot in the head by a policeman, wouldn’t it? Let’s see let’s see, did anything weird happen about a week ago that could be conclusively linked to Wall Street’s desire [...]
President Obama is celebrating his birthday tonight, with Jennifer Hudson and those treadmill-dancing fellows. He is doing this in Chicago, so your Wonkette decided to give up a perfectly good Wednesday evening to try to go hear Rahm Emanuel yell some swears. This did not happen, and overall it was a very boring street gathering [...]
While the Obama Administration destroys Social Security and Medicare and “America, basically” to appease Tea Party fanatics employed by the Koch Brothers, Obama’s vice president is collecting $26,400 per year in taxpayer money that the Secret Service must pay him to rent some shed behind his house in Delaware. And why would the Secret Service [...]
THESE CHENEYS ARE ALL SUCH DICKS: From a Washington Post chat today with Ron Kessler, clearinghouse for all the hottest Secret Service gossip: “In addition, the Secret Service has been bowing to pressure by some protectees such as Mary Cheney, Dick Cheney’s daughter, who insisted that agents take her friends to restaurants. That is not [...]
JOE BIDEN’S MOTORCADE KILLS PEDESTRIAN: In the vice president’s latest “gaffe,” his motorcade, which was not carrying him at the time (so is it really a “motorcade” then?), struck and killed a pedestrian last night at 3 a.m. The big news here is that Joe Biden even has a motorcade. No but seriously that’s awful. [...]
Here’s a wacky poll from the Facebook over the weekend. The Secret Service were informed and are now looking to kill the shit out of someone, perhaps the person who created this poll.
Man, what kind of a free speech country do we even have anymore when a man holding an innocuous “Death to Obama” sign outside a contentious town hall meeting, one that goes about as poorly as the other meetings that featured GUNS AND KNIVES and lots of shouting, is detained by police? No wonder everybody [...]
Here is news that will be shocking to zero persons: the Bush twins were a bit of a handful for their Secret Service detail back in the day! Yeah, they liked to party a lot, and would occasionally try to slip out unsupervised. Jenna appears to have been the bigger pain in the ass (!!!??!). [...]
BARACK OBAMA WILL KEEP DICK CHENEY SAFE FOREVER: Government teat-suckler Dick Cheney is such a pussy that he became one of the first — if not the first — vice presidents in history to accept Secret Service protection after his reign of terror in office expired, a move requiring the president’s authorization. Cheney then ran [...]
Here, take a break from Todd Purdum’s 98-million-word rehash of everything awful about Sarah Palin and cleanse your brain with this bizarre interview the Alaska governor did with Runner’s World! Did you know that Sarah Palin is so weirdly secretive about EVERYTHING that she made the Secret Service swear not to tell anybody about this [...]
President Obama has dispatched an army of sterilization goons to London in advance of the G20 meeting this week. Their task: to remove the gonads of any human who invades the “sterile area” around the president. Obama also sent his driver over early so that he could familiarize himself with the quaint English custom of [...]
Screw AIG, they are NOTHING! You know what else you’re paying for with your taxes? Jenna Bush’s Secret Service limousine! Because a full-size sedan is simply not big enough for the crew of one of Jenna’s “Ladies Nights” at the Baltimore bars. And now a website reports that Jenna’s Secret Service limo has been booted [...]
George W. Bush’s armed phalanx of security goons did a piss-poor job of defending the President from the terrible threat of shoes the other day. Ever since the shoe bomber incident of 2001, every moran in America has known what a dangerous weapon a simple human foot-covering can be. So why did security screeners not [...]
OBAMAS ALL HAVE HOPEFUL SECRET-SERVICE CODE NAMES: Here is a fun fact! Secret Service code names were invented for easier pronunciation and transmission over radio devices, not as any sort of “secret code.” Thus it does not matter if everyone in the world knows the upcoming First Family’s code names. They are: Renegade, Renaissance, Radiance, [...]
The FBI and Secret Service have launched a Special Investigation into the important matter of some “hacker” breaking into Sarah Palin’s Yahoo! e-mail and taking a few benign screen shots. Michelle Malkin, Bill O’Reilly et al. have been lambasting our friends at Gawker for posting the screen shots; O’Reilly even said that Gawker owner Nick [...]
