secret service
Isn’t it great how Election Season brings out the best in all of us, making us ever delight in doing more and better for our fellow man? (And womyn, ladies!) Also, isn’t it terrific how Election Season makes us all very very smart and intelligent? USA! Well, we have another winner in the newest let’s-all-murder-one-another-for-democracy [...]
Well now we are getting to the bottom of this! When the Secret Service was sexing all those ladies in Cartagena, was that an isolated incident? NO IT WAS NOT! And how do we know this? Because Defense Secretary Leon Panetta “admitted” that last year three US Marines hired a sex worker in Brazil! Now, [...]
Oh dear, Sen. Chuck Grassley snuck out the window again after lights-out, and now he’s leading inquiries into the Secret Service sex scandal. Whatcha got so far, inspector? “Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) said the Colombia prostitutes at the center of the Secret Service scandal may have been spies planted by the Russian government.” And if [...]
What’s this, what’s this? Former halfterm governor and sexy grandma Sarah Palin opened her permanently lip-linered lips and words came out and they were not lies, for a while! Somebody call an ambulance, Sarah Palin might have been having a stroke! The shockingly true words spilled forth after the Washington Post reported that one of [...]
“Wheels up, rings off,” amirite Secret Service? Maybe! Everything we know about this sexxxy new scandal we learned from Twitter! What else does Twitter have to tell us about the #SecretService getting bom dia-ed in Colombia? * Pay your prostitute DUMBASS. * They had a Groupon. * 10 Recommendations For a quicker and much easier [...]
Thought we were done with Rick Santorum, did you? Well SO DID WE! Then GQ had to go discover his Secret Service code name, which is Petrus, as in Rock, as in Peter, as in “And on this rock I shall build my Church,” which in no way, shape or form could be construed as [...]
As we all know from our repeated viewings of Guarding Tess, the documentary about Secret Service agent Nicolas Cage and mad-bitch old First Lady Shirley MacLaine, First Ladies are cold, needy nightmares and Secret Service agents are longsuffering studs who have not yet lost their hair and metamorphosized to ghost wizards. As we also also [...]
THESE CHENEYS ARE ALL SUCH DICKS: From a Washington Post chat today with Ron Kessler, clearinghouse for all the hottest Secret Service gossip: “In addition, the Secret Service has been bowing to pressure by some protectees such as Mary Cheney, Dick Cheney’s daughter, who insisted that agents take her friends to restaurants. That is not [...]
JOE BIDEN’S MOTORCADE KILLS PEDESTRIAN: In the vice president’s latest “gaffe,” his motorcade, which was not carrying him at the time (so is it really a “motorcade” then?), struck and killed a pedestrian last night at 3 a.m. The big news here is that Joe Biden even has a motorcade. No but seriously that’s awful. [...]
