Tag: secret service

Trump Jr. Fires Secret Service. Not Suspicious. Not Suspicious At All

Donald Trump Jr. doesn't want a Secret Service detail anymore. Wonder why?

Dumb Trump Muscle Goon Keith Schiller Quitting White House Because John Kelly Makes Him Cry

Goodbye, Keith! Time to go cry somewhere else, Keith!

Donald Trump Bankrupting Secret Service Like A Common Trump Casino

Protip: It's a really bad idea to treat the people responsible for your safety like you treat your construction subcontractors.

Trump Wishes He Had A Doomsday Machine. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Aug. 10, 2017

Trump STILL doesn't understand the nuclear triad, James O'Keefe shoots himself (again), and Benghazi's back (again). Your morning news brief!

President Lazy-Ass Taking 17-Day Vacation, Because He Lacks Obama’s Stamina We Guess

To be fair, failure is EXHAUSTING.

Secret Service: The Rent At Trump Tower Is TOO DAMN HIGH

President Griftabuck can't seem to squeeze enough cash out of the Secret Service to make protecting his life worthwhile.

Mueller Cranks Trump-Russia Up To 11. Wonkagenda For Fri., Aug. 4, 2017

Mueller ain't fucking around, West Virginia sees red, and the all the Russia shit's going down on ... LINKED IN??? Your morning news brief!

Idiot Trump Lawyer Incredibly Good At Stepping On Own Dick Repeatedly

The WEAK AND FAILING JAY SEKULOW, everyone!

Russians? What Russians? No Russians Here! Wonkagenda for Mon., July 17, 2017

Jay Sekulow embarasses himself on national television (again), TrumpCare stalls (again), and Ann Coulter gets told to sit down and shut up. Your morning news brief!

There. Are. No. God. Damn. Trump. Comey. Tapes. (Unless There Are, In Which Case There Are!)

Donald Trump thinks running the most powerful country in the world is a fucking reality show.

Trump’s Bodyguard Also Too Very Good At Leaking Everybody’s Secrets!

Guys, they're really just not good at this stuff. Any of it.

BREAKING! Trump To Live In Same Zip Code As Wife And Young Son!

The Trumps have picked a school for Barron. It sounds very nice!

Lazy Trump Already Gone For Weekend, Because He Doesn’t DO Fridays

Imagine if he had Hillary Clinton's work ethic. Wait no, don't imagine that.

Trump Knows What Women Want! Your Wonkagenda for Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Trump has a spot for the ladies, TrumpCare rides again (again), and Hannity throws another tantrum. Your morning news brief!

Jason Chaffetz Sure He’s As Clean As A Whistle, Because Of All These Enemas (He Said That)

How could Jason Chaffetz POSSIBLY have a secret scandal, when there are so many people cleaning out his butt every day?

TrumpCare Back? Back Again?! Wonkagenda For Thurs., April 6, 2017

Congress trashes TrumpCare, Trump dumps Bannon, and Valdimir Putin HATES being called a gay clown! Your morning news brief!