We’ll just throw all of these pictures in and not bother with the one-liners this time, because this is Art and must be respected. Here are some important themes, motifs and keywords though: Star Wars, furries, whores, the boardwalk, YouTube Thomas Paine impersonator as Big Brother, French aristocracy, CNN, Osama, Obama, media saturation, Adolf Hitler, attractive hobos, homosexuals, racism, black people, vulgarity, cancer, testicles, death, sadness, misery, failure, and gonorrhea. MORE »

OR THEY COULD DO THAT: Helen Thomas and Bob Schieffer, the two oldest people currently wandering around your front yard, will be hosting a Q&A next week — in Second Life. Paultards are expected to slaughter them. Or is that the other game that they play? This is vulgar. [New World Notes]

• Obama hired some gay bishop to give some mini Invocation speech, for fairness. Barack Obama has made history by being the first politician to hire a gay man to perform a service and not break the law or his marital vows in doing so. [AMERICAblog]
• Your Second Life avatar is destroying the actual, First Life Earth just as much as any random actual person from Brazil. [Hit & Run]
• Marc Ambinder is now plagiarizing witch-algebra from Nate Silver and predicting the chances Hopey has of accomplishing anything. [Marc Ambinder]
• Today Obama is meeting with the President of Mexico, “el Presidente”. [Top of the Ticket]
• Congress has hit a home-run for irrelevance today, as Roger Clemens, a baseball player from maybe the 1980s (?), will face a grand jury probe about whether or not he maybe took steroids. [Politico]

• PLANET OF RETARDS: “LONDON, England (CNN) — A British couple who married in a lavish Second Life wedding ceremony are to divorce after one of them had an alleged ‘affair’ in the online world. …Taylor said she had caught Pollard’s avatar having sex with a virtual prostitute: ‘I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It’s cheating as far as I’m concerned.’” [CNN]

Citizens of Massachusetts’ 7th District, did you know what jackassery your elected representative Ed Markey is up to? Several days ago he held a Congressional hearing in Second Life, a specially designed “virtual world” for sociopaths, furries, and flying penis “avatars.” To commemorate this special event, Congressman Markey even crafted his own personal avatar: a virtual Congressman Markey who is cross-eyed with gayness. MORE »

Hey, remember how Second Life was going to create a revolution in the political and financial world and create a whole virtual economy that was somehow tied in to real money and would make people rich? Well, it turns out maybe not. Second Life has many of the financial trappings of the real world (no, we are not going to be referring to it as “first life”), such as banks and ATMs and stock exchanges, but none of the regulatory apparatus that makes sure that, say, your bank actually can give you your money back when you request it, or that somebody doesn’t just walk off with $12,000 from the stock exchange. It’s like Somalia, but with less small-arms fire and clan feuds and more big-breasted furries and forty-foot-long penises! MORE »

Second Life isn’t just furries, marketers, and Mike Gravel — no, according to an Australian “security expert,” it’s positively crawling with terrorists! [The Australian via Slashdot]

Remember how the interwebs and MyToob were supposed to revolutionize American politics? Well, they didn’t, unless an anthropomorphic cartoon squirrel avatar sodomizing an anthropomorphic cartoon wolf at John Edwards’ Second Life headquarters while saying “Go Democrats! Yiff Yiff!” somehow equals revolution. Oh, and 120 retarded people — including several foreigners — submitted “questions” on YouTube for the next Democratic debate. (There’s even a question for Mitt Romney, should he switch sides, again.) MORE »

If you’re having a hard time choosing a Republican presidential candidate to support, maybe a tiny creepy talking seemingly-alive little Mitt Romney walking around your computer screen would help with that decision. MORE »

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