Tag Archives: second amendment

  I Don't Like Gundays

Rick Perry Gives Guns In Movie Theaters Two Thumbs Up

In the not-too-distant future
Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry knows there’s no problem that can’t be solved by the addition of more guns, which is why he claimed Sunday that last week’s shooting in a movie theater in Lafayette, Louisiana, probably could have been prevented if only a whole bunch of people in the audience had been armed. Because in the confusion and panic of a dark movie theater, five or six extra people with guns would certainly have been a big improvement. Read more on Rick Perry Gives Guns In Movie Theaters Two Thumbs Up…
  Guns Don't Kill; RomComs Kill.

Another Guy Shoots Up A Movie Theater. America!

remember, it's all about freedom
It’s been a week since Chattanooga, so we were due for another mass shooting. This time it was a white guy with a gun in a Lafayette, Louisiana movie theater, who shot two women dead and injured nine Thursday night before attempting to flee the theater; when he saw police coming, he killed himself. Read more on Another Guy Shoots Up A Movie Theater. America!…
  He's only racist against Muslims

Florida Gun Shop Will Keep You And Your Treason Flag Safe From Marauding Islamics

He seems nice
Andy Hallinan, the owner of Florida Gun Supply in Inverness, Florida, wants you to know a few facts about Muslims and the Confederate flag, because in his mind, somehow there’s a very important link between all the things he doesn’t like. For one thing, the Confederate flag is not racist or hateful, because just look at Andy Hallinan: He is not racist or hateful, but he does know that America is at war with Radical Islam, and that’s why his gun store is now a “Muslim-Free Zone,” which is a totally original idea that has never been cynically deployed to drive business, for America (and is probably perfectly OK with the Civil Rights Act, we bet). Read more on Florida Gun Shop Will Keep You And Your Treason Flag Safe From Marauding Islamics…
  dispatches from the wasteland

Lady Beaters, Fetus Shooters And Bar Fights: Your Florida Roundup (Is Extra Violent This Week)

Good morning/afternoon/whenever the Wonkette overlords click PUBLISH! This week’s Roundup is brought to you from our couch, because it is way too fuckin’ hot to go outside. (Bring on the Little Ice Age already.) Read more on Lady Beaters, Fetus Shooters And Bar Fights: Your Florida Roundup (Is Extra Violent This Week)…
  america fuck yeah

Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?

Good Ol' Fashioned Nightmare Fuel
Iowa Republican congresscantaloupe Steve King had a few thoughts about Barack Obama’s treasonous attack on freedom last week, when the president said the United States is pretty exceptional, and not in the good way, when it comes to mass killings, and that “this type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries.” For one thing, said King on a rightwing radio show in Iowa, it does happen, sometimes, just not nearly as often as it does in the USA — which was Obama’s point anyway. But for another thing, we can’t do anything to prevent it without making America a worser, less Americanly Exceptional Freedom Landy place: Read more on Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?…
  Ha ... ha ... groan

Ted Cruz Tells Another Appropriate Well-Timed Joke, This Time About Guns Ha Ha Ha

Hoo boy, that Ted Cruz sure is a funny guy. While he is too big a coward to take a position on the Confederate flag and whether it should continue to fly on the grounds of South Carolina’s state capitol (hint: it should not), he’s not at all afraid to crack some “jokes” about gun control at a town hall meeting in Red Oak, Iowa: Read more on Ted Cruz Tells Another Appropriate Well-Timed Joke, This Time About Guns Ha Ha Ha…
  Bad Analogy Theater

Tucker Carlson Revives Hilarious ‘Disarm The Secret Service’ Gag From 2013

Is open carry allowed in theFox studios? Just asking.
On Fox & Friends Saturday, Newstwerp Tucker Carlson had some Deeply Apolitical Thoughts on President Obama’s shocking politicizing of last week’s massacre in Charleston, reviving a completely original NRA talking point from 2013: If Obama hates guns so much and wants to take everyone’s guns away because guns are evil, then why doesn’t he have his Secret Service detail go without guns, huh? HUH? This was generally regarded on the right as the smartest idea ever heard since the last time some knucklehead brought it up. Read more on Tucker Carlson Revives Hilarious ‘Disarm The Secret Service’ Gag From 2013…
  You And Your Racist Friend

Charleston Killer’s Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That’s Your Bidness

Figured you didn't need to see that Roof guy's face anymore
Among other things we’re learning about confessed Charleston massacre perpetrator Dylann Roof is that not only was he motivated by hatred of black people, but his friends knew about it and were entirely too nonjudgmental about his plans for starting him a little race war. Kids, we’re in favor of tolerance, but “It’s All Good” really is not a useful moral stance. Read more on Charleston Killer’s Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That’s Your Bidness…
  Here's a fucked up thing

NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!

RIP
We have only begun to graze the tip of the iceberg when it comes to obscene, disgusting wingnut reactions to the Charleston mass murder that ended the lives of 9 black churchgoers, aged from 26 to 87, on Wednesday night. So we guess it’s time for NRA people to start saying words, and surprise, they are not good words. Charles Cotton is a member of the NRA’s board, and he knows who killed those people. No, not Dylann Storm Roof, the alleged gunman who has since confessed, silly! It was Rev. Clementa Pinckney, state senator and pastor at Emanuel AME Church, according to Cotton. How did Pinckney manage that? By voting against a bill that would have allowed people to carry concealed guns in church, of course! Read more on NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!…
  A Shot In the Derp

New Study: No, Dear, The Answer Isn’t More Guns

Not much of a deterrent to crime, but kawaii as anything
Writing for a politics blog is weird. Yr Dok Zoom had just finished saving an earlier version of this piece Wednesday night when he opened a beer and decided to look at Twitter before heading to bed. That wasn’t such a great idea, in terms of sleeping well. And so we shall reframe what had just been an interesting bit of research into a direct reply to the geniuses who know, deep in their hearts, that when two or more are gathered in God’s name, at least one must be carrying a gun, and then mass shootings would be even rarer than they actually are. Read more on New Study: No, Dear, The Answer Isn’t More Guns…
  A Mighty Fortress Needs More Guns

Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston

This would fix everything
That was fast! It only took a few hours for Fox to toss up an editorial explaining that the best explanation of why six women and three men were shot to death in their church Wednesday night is that nobody in the church was packing heat like they should have been. Read more on Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston…
  Oh Goody More Guns

New Texas ‘Open Carry’ Gun Law Still Won’t Let You Do Crimes, Have Gun. Sooooo Unfair

Hard to say whether these are rifles or handguns. Either way, she can openly carry 'em now in Texas.
Terrific news for freedom and stuff in Texas! Gov. Greg Abbott signed two great big gun laws on Saturday, making it legal for Texans with permits to carry handguns openly, and for concealed carry permit holders to carry their guns on college campuses. But don’t be fooled! Wackaloon Open Carry Advocate Kory Watkins wants you all to know that if you really loved the Second Amendment, you’d recognize that Abbott is a tyrant, because there’s nothing in the Constitution about permits. So far, he hasn’t specifically called for Abbott to be executed (after a fair trial for treason), but then, Watkins thinks most of Texas’s elected officials need to swing from the tree of liberty. Read more on New Texas ‘Open Carry’ Gun Law Still Won’t Let You Do Crimes, Have Gun. Sooooo Unfair…
  Frontiers of science

Colorado Man Shoots Own Foot To See How That Feels

These things happen
Sometimes, authority figures simply don’t have any respect for people carrying out empirical research. Like that 16-year-old Florida girl who got expelled from school for making a balloon full of hydrogen go boom, or the Los Angeles teacher who was suspended for letting a kid design a project that used electricity to propel a tiny projectile. Or poor Adam Hirtle, 30, of Colorado Springs, Colorado, who “told investigators he shot himself in the foot Wednesday night because he wanted to know what it felt like.” With attitudes like that, it’s a wonder we ever made to the moon. Come to think of it, we overlooked a few Nazis’ war criming to do that job. Read more on Colorado Man Shoots Own Foot To See How That Feels…
  Yet Another 'Another American Revolution'

Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz

Be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Dewegates!
Hey, Ted Cruz, what’s your next cool fundraiser idea? Wow, a chance for some lucky gun-humping donor to go shootin’ with the senator? That sounds like more fun than staying up all night playing RISK with Rand Paul! Funny thing though; the contest requires that the winner be able to pass a background check. It’s in the fine print, which specifies that the “Sponsor” of the sweepstakes — the Cruz campaign — must verify that Ted Cruz will be at least nominally safe with his brand new huntin’ buddy: Read more on Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz…
  OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE

Alex Jones: While You Were Staring At Caitlyn Jenner’s Funbags, Obama Grabbed Your Guns

Twitter profile pic strategically placed to hide chemtrails in sky behind her.
Conspiracy theorist extraordinaire Alex Jones always has his finger on the prostate of The Real Story that everybody’s missing, if people could only OPEN THEIR EYES! Lately, Jones has been working to reassure Texans that no, Walmart is not building secret tunnels so the Chinese can come in and kill everybody, because that distracts from the REAL STORY, which is FEMA camps and martial law, or something along those lines. But he took a break on his show Tuesday, to rant and rave about all YOU SHEEPLE, spending your entire day transfixed by Caitlyn Jenner’s sex boobies, when Barack Obama is clearly in your house right now, prying your guns out of your cold, distracted hands. Read more on Alex Jones: While You Were Staring At Caitlyn Jenner’s Funbags, Obama Grabbed Your Guns…
  Send Lawyers Guns And Money. Mostly Money

Arizona Muslim-Hater Needs $10 Million To Save His Family, Mean GoFundMe Won’t Let Him Have It

Poor bastard can't even afford a shirt
Great American Patriot Jon Ritzheimer has had a wonderful and terrible week. He’s the nice fellow with the “Fuck Islam!” t-shirt who organized that big “Free Speech (and Hate Islam) Rally” at the Islamic Community Center of Phoenix last Friday, where armed idiots showed up to exercise their sacred right to be dicks, and to prove that Islam is very scary. Happily, the rally came off without anyone getting shot, thanks to a huge police presence. Oh, but Mr. Ritzheimer is now in fear for his life, because some idiots on Twitter threatened him, and now he needs to go into hiding to save his family, so would you all please donate to his GoFundMe? He figures $10 million should be enough to tide him over. Read more on Arizona Muslim-Hater Needs $10 Million To Save His Family, Mean GoFundMe Won’t Let Him Have It…