Tag Archives: second amendment

  Get Your Bingo Cards Out

Gays, Abortions, Blacks, Oh My! Your Virginia Shooting Tragedy Bingo

Oh, fine. Begin the recitation of stupidity.
Oh, fine. Begin the recitation of stupidity. Wonder why bad things happen to good people? We’ve been scanning the dregs of the wingnuttosphere since Roanoke TV journalists Alison Parker and Adam Ward were shot to death while doing a routine interview Wednesday, and you’ll be astonished at the range of reasons it happened. Or you might be astonished, if you’re new to our great nation and its insane politics. Welcome to America! Here, you’ll want this flak jacket. So why did this terrible thing happen? Here’s a handy roundup! Read more on Gays, Abortions, Blacks, Oh My! Your Virginia Shooting Tragedy Bingo…
  With Liberty And Justice For All Who Survive

Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately

Sawed-off shotguns: They're in the Constitution!
Sawed-off shotguns: They’re in the Constitution! While we know guns had nothing to do with the tragedy today that took the lives of Virginia TV station WDBJ reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward, in addition to the suicide of the shooter, a disgruntled former employee of the station, we thought we’d mention some other recent deaths in which guns had nothing to do with anything. Because while it’s far too soon to talk about guns in relation to the Virginia murders, maybe it’s not too soon to talk about these other shootings. (We are joking you, of course. It is never the right time to talk about guns.) Read more on Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately…
  Don't Make Officer Friendly Shoot You

Police Group Suggests Maybe Police Could Try Being A Little Less Shooty, Please

Maybe we could give them axes instead
Maybe we could give them axes instead A national law enforcement organization released an important report calling for police departments to rethink their training and policies on use of deadly force, with less emphasis on “Shoot/Don’t Shoot” decisions and more training on ways to de-escalate situations before a decision to use deadly force ever becomes necessary. The recommendations in the report, from the Police Executive Research Forum (PERF), are wise, humane, and actually give you some hope that America’s police departments could be reformed into something the nation could be genuinely proud of. Needless to say, the report is doomed to be derided by the usual Git Tuff Law-N-Order mob as a bunch of criminal-coddling pabulum, since everyone knows the police are there to bust heads and terminate bad guys, even when they’re 12 years old and not holding a real gun. Read more on Police Group Suggests Maybe Police Could Try Being A Little Less Shooty, Please…
  noblesse oblige

George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF

Aren't those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution?
Aren’t those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution? Florida Man George Zimmerman, the guy who killed Trayvon Martin that one time, is somehow not currently in prison, which just proves you cannot cage artistic genius. Instead, he is doing art again, which is good and healthy and nice, because it’s real hard to aim and shoot at teenagers when your hands are all messy with finger paint: Read more on George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Guy Who Murdered Kids Only A Distraction From Planned Parenthood’s Crimes!

My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Steal Your Guns and Destroy Freedom
My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Steal Your Guns and Destroy Freedom Our piece last week on the nice North Carolina dad who was an ardent Open Carry enthusiast (and whose Facebook page was full of pro-gun, anti-Obama, and anti-Muslim messages) who shot his two preschool-aged sons to death drew the usual bunch of Second Amendment defenders who gunsplained to us that the problem isn’t guns — it’s never guns — but it also received complaints from folks with a refreshingly new perspective, if by “refreshingly new” you mean “familiar clichés that we haven’t seen in at least a week or two.” You see, kids, as would-be commenter “Valerie Emmons” informs us, we are actually huge hypocrites for even being the least bit upset about a drunk man who shot his 3- and 4-year-old sons multiple times after assaulting his wife, because we also support a women’s right to choose a legal surgical procedure: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Guy Who Murdered Kids Only A Distraction From Planned Parenthood’s Crimes!…
  So wasteful!

Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong

This is what Greg Gutfeld looks like when he thinks he just made a point.
This is what Greg Gutfeld looks like when he thinks he just made a point. Yr Wonkette, as you know, is a pro-life mommyblog. HEAR US OUT. We’re pro-life in the REAL, grown-up way, the one where abortion is legal, and women should have a right to do with their living bodies as they please, and we believe in doing all that we can to support living, breathing human beings. Also, fetal tissue research is VITAL to finding cures for cancer and developing vaccines and all sorts of other things. Heck, it’s so great that wingnut presidential candidate Ben Carson used to do it all the time! So, considering these facts, it’s very PRO-LIFE to support women in their choices to donate fetal tissue after abortions, so that tissue can be used to SAVE THE WORLD! Read more on Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong…
  Yes Again. And Again.

Open Carry Dude Assaults Wife, Kills Two Sons, Keeps Second Amendment Safe

Nothing funny to say. The boys were three and four years old when their dad killed them.
In what would, in a sane nation, be a national outrage, a responsible lover of the Second Amendment murdered his two little boys, aged three and four, before turning the gun on himself and not quite managing to commit suicide. In a sane nation, there might also be something shocking about this being the second time since December that a vocal open-carry advocate has shot family members to death. But we live in America, so it’s just one more story that we’ll read, shake our heads at, and perhaps wonder if it’s ever going to be time to talk about guns. Read more on Open Carry Dude Assaults Wife, Kills Two Sons, Keeps Second Amendment Safe…
  More Guns Always Help

Armed White ‘Oath Keepers’ Descend On Ferguson, Will Definitely Calm Everything Down

She clearly feels protected
In case you were concerned that the situation in Ferguson, Missouri, might get unpleasant as people mark the one-year anniversary of the fatal shooting of Michael Brown, you can put those worries to rest now: The Oath Keepers have brought their message of paramilitary peace through superior firepower to the streets. But unlike last December, when they invited themselves to perch on businesses’ roofs like snipers, for “security,” this time they say they’re only in Ferguson to protect a “journalist” from Alex Jones’s nutbag website Infowars.com. It’s not clear whether they’ll also try to find some federal jackboots to have a standoff with, or flee when they get “intel” warning of a drone attack. Read more on Armed White ‘Oath Keepers’ Descend On Ferguson, Will Definitely Calm Everything Down…
  I Don't Like Gundays

Rick Perry Gives Guns In Movie Theaters Two Thumbs Up

In the not-too-distant future
Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry knows there’s no problem that can’t be solved by the addition of more guns, which is why he claimed Sunday that last week’s shooting in a movie theater in Lafayette, Louisiana, probably could have been prevented if only a whole bunch of people in the audience had been armed. Because in the confusion and panic of a dark movie theater, five or six extra people with guns would certainly have been a big improvement. Read more on Rick Perry Gives Guns In Movie Theaters Two Thumbs Up…
  Guns Don't Kill; RomComs Kill.

Another Guy Shoots Up A Movie Theater. America!

remember, it's all about freedom
It’s been a week since Chattanooga, so we were due for another mass shooting. This time it was a white guy with a gun in a Lafayette, Louisiana movie theater, who shot two women dead and injured nine Thursday night before attempting to flee the theater; when he saw police coming, he killed himself. Read more on Another Guy Shoots Up A Movie Theater. America!…
  He's only racist against Muslims

Florida Gun Shop Will Keep You And Your Treason Flag Safe From Marauding Islamics

He seems nice
Andy Hallinan, the owner of Florida Gun Supply in Inverness, Florida, wants you to know a few facts about Muslims and the Confederate flag, because in his mind, somehow there’s a very important link between all the things he doesn’t like. For one thing, the Confederate flag is not racist or hateful, because just look at Andy Hallinan: He is not racist or hateful, but he does know that America is at war with Radical Islam, and that’s why his gun store is now a “Muslim-Free Zone,” which is a totally original idea that has never been cynically deployed to drive business, for America (and is probably perfectly OK with the Civil Rights Act, we bet). Read more on Florida Gun Shop Will Keep You And Your Treason Flag Safe From Marauding Islamics…
  dispatches from the wasteland

Lady Beaters, Fetus Shooters And Bar Fights: Your Florida Roundup (Is Extra Violent This Week)

Good morning/afternoon/whenever the Wonkette overlords click PUBLISH! This week’s Roundup is brought to you from our couch, because it is way too fuckin’ hot to go outside. (Bring on the Little Ice Age already.) Read more on Lady Beaters, Fetus Shooters And Bar Fights: Your Florida Roundup (Is Extra Violent This Week)…
  america fuck yeah

Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?

Good Ol' Fashioned Nightmare Fuel
Iowa Republican congresscantaloupe Steve King had a few thoughts about Barack Obama’s treasonous attack on freedom last week, when the president said the United States is pretty exceptional, and not in the good way, when it comes to mass killings, and that “this type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries.” For one thing, said King on a rightwing radio show in Iowa, it does happen, sometimes, just not nearly as often as it does in the USA — which was Obama’s point anyway. But for another thing, we can’t do anything to prevent it without making America a worser, less Americanly Exceptional Freedom Landy place: Read more on Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?…
  Ha ... ha ... groan

Ted Cruz Tells Another Appropriate Well-Timed Joke, This Time About Guns Ha Ha Ha

Hoo boy, that Ted Cruz sure is a funny guy. While he is too big a coward to take a position on the Confederate flag and whether it should continue to fly on the grounds of South Carolina’s state capitol (hint: it should not), he’s not at all afraid to crack some “jokes” about gun control at a town hall meeting in Red Oak, Iowa: Read more on Ted Cruz Tells Another Appropriate Well-Timed Joke, This Time About Guns Ha Ha Ha…
  Bad Analogy Theater

Tucker Carlson Revives Hilarious ‘Disarm The Secret Service’ Gag From 2013

Is open carry allowed in theFox studios? Just asking.
On Fox & Friends Saturday, Newstwerp Tucker Carlson had some Deeply Apolitical Thoughts on President Obama’s shocking politicizing of last week’s massacre in Charleston, reviving a completely original NRA talking point from 2013: If Obama hates guns so much and wants to take everyone’s guns away because guns are evil, then why doesn’t he have his Secret Service detail go without guns, huh? HUH? This was generally regarded on the right as the smartest idea ever heard since the last time some knucklehead brought it up. Read more on Tucker Carlson Revives Hilarious ‘Disarm The Secret Service’ Gag From 2013…
  You And Your Racist Friend

Charleston Killer’s Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That’s Your Bidness

Figured you didn't need to see that Roof guy's face anymore
Among other things we’re learning about confessed Charleston massacre perpetrator Dylann Roof is that not only was he motivated by hatred of black people, but his friends knew about it and were entirely too nonjudgmental about his plans for starting him a little race war. Kids, we’re in favor of tolerance, but “It’s All Good” really is not a useful moral stance. Read more on Charleston Killer’s Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That’s Your Bidness…