Tag Archives: second amendment

  The Sacred Right To Be A Dick

Free Speech Loving Islamophobes Invade Phoenix Mosque To Draw Mohammed, Guns

He's just a fan of the vibrant dialogue guaranteed by the First Amendment
In what’s expected to be a terrific day for both the First and Second Amendments, several hundred armed idiots are expected to show up for a rally and “Draw Muhammad Cartoon Contest” outside a mosque in Phoenix Friday evening. The event’s Facebook page emphasizes that while the rally should be “PEACEFUL,” it would also be a terrific idea for attendees to “utilize there [sic] second amendment right at this event just incase [sic] our first amendment comes under the much anticipated attack.” Read more on Free Speech Loving Islamophobes Invade Phoenix Mosque To Draw Mohammed, Guns…
  The Tree Of Liberty Doesn't Need This Much Bullshit

Texas ‘Open Carry’ Loon Ready To Start Executing Lawmakers, Because Freedom Is Why

Fact: The Intenet has as many anime gun girls as Texas has open carry advocates
The bill to allow licensed open carry of handguns in Texas wasn’t slowed down a bit by the shootout in Waco, but it has hit a bit of a roadblock in the state legislature — police groups are lobbying to kill a clause that would prohibit cops from asking to see someone’s license — and so it’s just possible that the bill might not pass before the legislative session ends on June 1. Well, by god, Texas Open Carry advocate Kory Watkins has had just about enough of the Texas legislature’s stomping all over the Constitution of the United States, so he’s calling for some executions. Read more on Texas ‘Open Carry’ Loon Ready To Start Executing Lawmakers, Because Freedom Is Why…
  our well regulated militia

Mike Huckabee Will Save Gun Owners From Tyranny Of Learning How To Shoot Guns

This is what 'clearing the chamber' means, right?
Mike Huckabee visited a gun range in Johnston, Iowa, Tuesday so he could check off “Did Second Amendment Stuff” on his campaign checklist. And while he was there, he explained that he’s not especially worried about whether gun owners actually have any training in using their weapons, because for heaven’s sake, if the Founders had wanted the militia to be well-regulated, surely they’d have said something about it somewhere, maybe. Read more on Mike Huckabee Will Save Gun Owners From Tyranny Of Learning How To Shoot Guns…
  An Armed Society is a Bullet-Riddled Society

After Waco Shootout, Know What Texas Needs? More Guns EVERYWHERE!

This is silly. The real Texas vending machines include some revolvers.
On Sunday, Waco, Texas played host to a guns-and-knives ballet performance by the Bandidos and Cossacks motorcycle clubs, leaving 9 dead, 18 injured, and 170 in jail. On Monday, the Texas Senate debated HB 910, a bill that would allow open carry of handguns just about everywhere in the state. Also up for consideration is SB 11, which would allow concealed carry of weapons on college campuses. There is no connection at all between the shootout and the pending legislation, because shut up is why. Read more on After Waco Shootout, Know What Texas Needs? More Guns EVERYWHERE!…
  Bang Bang My Baby Shot Me Down

NRA To Louisiana: Lady Beaters Are People Too, Should Have All The Guns

People Not To Date, #762 in a series
The National Rifle Association is doing what it does best, making sure that as many people have guns as possible, regardless of insignificant little details like the possibility that they might not be ideal Armed Citizens. Like, for instance, people found guilty of domestic violence. In Louisiana, where it’s already illegal for people convicted of domestic violence against a member of their household to own firearms, the NRA helped gut a bill that would have kept firearms out of the hands of those who committed violence against people they dated but don’t live with. Read more on NRA To Louisiana: Lady Beaters Are People Too, Should Have All The Guns…
  Death By Misadventure

Ted Nugent: Guns Don’t Kill THAT Many Kids, But What About Swimming Pools, Huh?

Still neither jailed nor dead
Ted Nugent has hit on a strategy that’s sure to end all calls for improving gun safety forever: Just say that the number of kids killed in accidental/irresponsible shootings is negligible, then point to something else that kills more people, and then, VOILA! No more liberals bitching about his precious guns! Read more on Ted Nugent: Guns Don’t Kill THAT Many Kids, But What About Swimming Pools, Huh?…
  Bang bang liberty you're dead

NRA: President Hillary Clinton Is Already Murdering Freedom

She's coming for YOU. And YOU. And YOU.
The corpse that was America’s liberty until President Obama killed it is not even cold yet, but the National Rifle Association is already warning us of the extra-death of liberty that lies ahead, since Hillary Clinton “has formally declared her intention to assume the office of president of the United States.” (We assume she intends to do this by winning the presidential election, like she said, but maybe she’s just going to assume the office without the farce of democracy, so she can get right to extra-deathing our liberty. That’s probably the plan.) Read more on NRA: President Hillary Clinton Is Already Murdering Freedom…
  What Part Of 'Carrion Luggage' Do You Not Understand?

Texas GOP Tired Of Getting Arrested For Taking Guns To Airports, Has New Law To Make It OK

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with Brawndo. It's got what plants crave.
Texans sure love guns! And every Texan knows that in this bad old world, the only way to be safe from crimers and killers and haters and Federal Jackboots is to pack heat at all times. But this causes the occasional faux pas when you accidentally leave one of your many, many guns in your carryon bag as you head to the airport, and then the TSA arrests you as if you were trying to take a gun on a plane like some common Cuban. Thankfully, due to the selfless patriotism and compassion of gun-humpers in the state legislature, this tyranny may soon end. On Thursday, the Texas House passed a bill that would protect concealed carry permit-holders from being arrested when caught with guns at airport security, just as long as they leave the security area immediately. Read more on Texas GOP Tired Of Getting Arrested For Taking Guns To Airports, Has New Law To Make It OK…
  our well regulated militia

Gun Fun Roundup: Please Don’t Shoot Your Pal In Gun Safety Class

There may be an infinite number of cat & gun photos on the interwebs. Science must know why!
How are America’s Responsible Gun Owners preventing crime and tyranny this week? We bet there’s just no end of stories of valiant crime-stoppers and freedom defenders to look at! Other Than That, Safety Class Went Great In Orem, Utah, two police cadets were waiting for their gun safety class to start, and then they learned an important lesson about gun safety: Read more on Gun Fun Roundup: Please Don’t Shoot Your Pal In Gun Safety Class…
  Just One More Reason To Abolish The IRS

The NRA Has Some Lessons For SarahPAC On How To Cheat At Campaign Finance

America, fuck yeah.
You will probably find this very difficult to believe, but it’s possible that the National Rifle Association is a big lying liar. No, not just about how guns are the only thing standing between freedom and tyranny, or about the how everyone needs a gun to safely get through breakfast, or even about how the Second Amendment was handed down from Jesus so that America would always be God’s favorite country. No, it seems that the NRA may also have lied a whole bunch, for years, to the IRS. And also may have violated several federal campaign finance laws, too. Fortunately, the NRA probably doesn’t have to worry too much — if there’s one organization that’s exempt from following piddly little laws, it’s the NRA, because your average charity doesn’t have a bunch of armed radicals ready to start shooting if they think the feds are going to take their guns away. Which is what making the NRA follow campaign and tax laws would be, you just know it. Read more on The NRA Has Some Lessons For SarahPAC On How To Cheat At Campaign Finance…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Murder The ATF And Its Jackbooted Thugs

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
Emboldened by last week’s victory for the rights of gun-humpers to be able to ALSO be able to hump bullets, Field Marshall Sarah Palin presses forward. She has offered the Kenyan tyrant Obama clear and simple terms: abolish the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF), and we will spare you our screeching. And, instead of listening to her, the Kenyan tyrant sits alone in his empty palace, a place that collaborators and the weak-willed still call the White House, and he does NOTHING. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Murder The ATF And Its Jackbooted Thugs…
  Paul's Pistol To The Corinthians

Hidden Gun In Church Adds Excitement, Flesh Wound, To Easter Vigil Service

Oh, there's the gun: Right in the Missal Gap
Here’s one way to liven up an Easter vigil service: carry a loaded semiautomatic pistol into church with you, leave the safety off, and let the trigger catch on your pocket, firing a round off during the service. Bonus points if the bullet grazes your hand, giving you something very like stigmata! At the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament in Altoona, Pennsylvania, one of America’s Responsible Gun Owners was wounded by the negligent discharge Saturday night as Mass was nearly over. Happily, no one else was hit, proving that God was quite pleased with the offering of hot lead. Read more on Hidden Gun In Church Adds Excitement, Flesh Wound, To Easter Vigil Service…
  A Good Guy With A Schwinn

Hero Tennessee Legislator Explains How Guns Are Like Bicycles, Only Safer

Kevlar bike helmet optional
The Constitution-loving Tennessee House of Representatives expanded freedom a little bit last week, voting 65-21 in favor of a bill that would prevent local governments from restricting guns in public parks. They were in a hurry to pass it in time for the NRA’s Annual Meeting, to be held in Nashville April 10-12. And while some nervous nellies (and communist agitators) might have some qualms about letting people carry guns around in public parks, hero state Rep. Glen Casada explained in a press conference that guns are no more dangerous than bicycles, because sure, people sometimes get shot accidentally, but then, people die on bikes alla time too. Read more on Hero Tennessee Legislator Explains How Guns Are Like Bicycles, Only Safer…
  There's an app for that

Gun-Humpers Using Sexy App To Track Gun Control Advocates, What Could Go Wrong?

Just a normal guy, on his way to the Taco Bell.
Here is a story that will warm the hearts of all patriotic Americans with guns firmly held by cold dead hands, out of which none can pry them! There are people out there who think it might be wise to fight for a little more gun control, a little more responsibility on the part of gun owners, so kids don’t get massacred at school or accidentally shot by their siblings. This is an un-American belief, so these people must be tracked, and wouldn’t you know it, there’s an app for that: Read more on Gun-Humpers Using Sexy App To Track Gun Control Advocates, What Could Go Wrong?…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?

Scootaloo is neither a gun owner nor Jewish, as far as we know. She worships Rainbow Dash
The Deleted Comments Hopper was extra-full this week, largely because we hit on a convergence of topics in one post: we wrote about the Palin family and guns at the same time, and that combination summoned the angerbears from the depths. Also, we suggested that not all American Jews agree with Congressschmuck Steve King, who carries so much water for AIPAC that he has calves the size of challas, and that brought us some real winners too. Heck, we don’t even have room to mention the anti-vaxxer who said that criticizing paranoia about vaccines is the “type of attitude is what forced people into internment camps and concentration camps,” which is really too bad, because we wish we could have mentioned that. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?…
  Teach Your Children To Shoot Well

Oppressed Gun Fondlers Not Allowed To Be Foster Parents, This Shall Not Stand!

Oh, we get it! 'Permitted' -- like a gun permit! It is a pune, or play on words!
You know who has the toughest time of all in modern America? Patriotic gunhumpers, that’s who. Bad enough that the police threaten them by standing around nearby when they march around in front of public schools playing Open Carry Hero and screaming at the cops. Now we learn that, in the socialist commie state of Nevada, at least, you can be excluded from the pool of potential foster parents simply because you Love America enough to have a concealed weapon permit. Read more on Oppressed Gun Fondlers Not Allowed To Be Foster Parents, This Shall Not Stand!…
  Madison Heights MI Safe From Tyranny -- For Now

‘You Work for ME!’ Open Carry Loon Yells At Police, Exercising Right To Be Tedious A**hole

Public servants serving the public
Via Moms Demand Action comes this proud Open Carry activist “Nunya Beeswax,” who posted a FOUR-PART YouTube video documenting a recent Open Carry walk that Mr. Beeswax took around his Michigan neighborhood. He is the very model of a free man who knows his rights, which include the Right to Bear Arms, the Right to Free Speech, the Right to Bear Arms while Speaking Freely, and the Right To Be An Insufferable Prick Toward Police Officers Because He Is A Free Man And They Are Jackbooted Thugs who are supposed to work for WE THE PEOPLE. Read more on ‘You Work for ME!’ Open Carry Loon Yells At Police, Exercising Right To Be Tedious A**hole…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral

No, *you're* the most basic of jokes.
Oh, it has been a busy week in Deleted Comments land! Thanks to our switchover to Disqus, the comments are a bit more Wild West-y than they had been — in Olden times, new commenters had to be approved, but now, Yr Moderators have to patrol the dusty streets and clear them of miscreants who shamble into view. Happily, you Wonkers are all deputized to help us keep our comments section a happy Radical Liberal Secularist Leftist Libunatic playground as well, via the “flag” option that appears when you move your mouse over any comment, like so: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral…
  Are Those Extra Rounds Or Is The AC Set Too High?

Wingnut Lady Shoots Self Dead While Adjusting Boob-Gun

She was an active member of the Christian Motorcycle Association.
A minor official in the Michigan Republican Party who was found dead on New Year’s Day apparently did not take her own life. Instead, new information released Wednesday indicates that Christina Bond died while adjusting a gun in a bra holster. At least no toddlers were involved in this shooting. Read more on Wingnut Lady Shoots Self Dead While Adjusting Boob-Gun…
  sure fine whatever

Texas Gun Fanatics Only Did A Few Crimes, What’s The Big Deal?

More guns just means more freedom
We are simple, trusting folk, so when people tell us they want to liberalize gun laws out of fealty to the Constitution and a love of personal freedom, we totally buy it. So thoroughly guileless are we that we don’t even question their motives when a number of them have criminal records that put them afoul of the laws they’re trying to repeal, as is the case in Texas. So what, a petty criminal can’t love freedom too? Read more on Texas Gun Fanatics Only Did A Few Crimes, What’s The Big Deal?…