Tag: secession

He seems nice

Minnesota GOP Congressional Nominee Has Fun, Creative Views On Women, Slavery, Everything

Meet Minnseota's brand new rightwing GOP nominee for Congress. He has the potential to out-Bachmann Michelle Bachmann, but comes from a swing district, thankfully.

Baton Rouge Thought Cops Killing Black People Was Hilarious Until Now

It appears Baton Rouge, Louisiana, may be something less than a paradise of racial harmony.
You do realize we're going to keep the military bases...

Success Of Brexit Vote Inspires Slack-Jawed Yokels To Demand ‘Texit.’ Get It? ‘TEXIT’!

The Brexit vote has Texas secessionists all excited, because every now and then they need to be mentioned in the media. And then laughed at.

Oh Noes Texas Might Vote To Secede! Whatever Shall We Do?

Ready your handkerchiefs, for the great state of Texas is once again considering leaving us...for about the 80 kajillionth time. As of Friday, 22 Republican conventions in the state passed a resolution calling for the state convention to have...
He's thinking of ideas right now.

Here Are Some Awful Presidents Paul Ryan Thinks Were WAY Better Than Obama

Speaker Paul Ryan was recently asked who his least favorite president was, and you'll never guess who he said! (Yes, you will.) It couldn't be Obama, could it? (Of course it could.) Well, boy howdy! Given that Ryan thinks Obama is...
Also worries that anti-swastika bigotry harms Buddhists

Mississippi Dude Worries Removing Confederate Flag Is Bad For The Jews

You might recall that after South Carolina started talking about taking the Confederate flag down from its statehouse grounds, a whole bunch of other states also got rid of their official displays of the Scar-Strangled Banner, too. Walmart cleared...
Oh, it's this asshole again

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Is A Idiot What Don’t Write Good

The Republican governor of Maine is a real genius, and by genius, we are being sarcastic as hell, because the dude is a total moron. But he's not just a moron; Gov. Paul LePage is also a terrible person,...

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Was It Over When The Jews Bombed Pearl Harbor?

Hey, Kids, hope you enjoyed both your Fourth of July and your Independence Day, seeing as how this was one of those years where they fall on the same day. Yr Wonkette had a nice day off and hardly...
And don't let Oklahoma hit your ass on the way out

Texas Separatists Find New Freedom-Loving President: Vladimir Putin

Turns out there's a heck of a lot of support for Texas secession. Not so much in Texas -- where, despite all Rick Perry's talk of skedaddling, only about 18 percent of residents wanted to secede in 2009 --...
Don't know our ass from a hole in the ground

Confederate Flag Suddenly More Hated Than Donald Trump, Pubic Lice

So how about that Confederate flag? Now that it has a negative association for the first time ever, seems like everybody has decided to jump off the Confederate bandwagon, except of course for the diehard morons, of whom there...
Nah, it's got nothing to do with Ann Coulter. But we love this pic.

Walmart Wonders Where It Got All This Confederate Flag Merch

Suddenly the Confederate flag has become a bad thing, maybe, or at least a "controversial" one. Just one week ago, it was all about "Heritage Not Hate," but as of Monday afternoon, it's officially Problematic, because somebody just discovered...
May not be negotiable outside LOS meetings

Fired White Supremacist Cop Seeks Confederate Support (U.S. Currency Only)

Last week we brought you the story of two cops in Anniston, Alabama, who lost their jobs with the police force because of their involvement with the racist neo-Confederate group the League of the South. One, Lt. Wayne Brown,...
Thank goodness racism is over

Alabama Cops Suspended Just For Being In Neo-Confederate Hate Group. How Is That Fair? (UPDATED)

Oh, look, it's more Not Racial Transcendence, in a story that might have been huge if it hadn't been overshadowed by Wednesday's massacre in Charleston. Two cops in Anniston, Alabama, have been suspended after being outed as members...
And Glenn Beck isn't even governor!

Texas To Build Very Own Gold Stash Inside Giant 20-Acre Mattress

Texas is pretty busy checking off items on its rightwing-obsession bucket list. It's got open carry for handguns, voter ID to keep the Wrong People from voting, it's aggressively not regulating chemical plants, and since you never know when the...
Oooh, I hates tyranny, and I hates jackboots, and I hates gubmint!

Tyrannical Texas Government Raids Meeting Of Secessionists, Unfair To Secessionists!

Meet Pastor John Jarnecke, a self-styled "Texian" who runs a secessionist group called the Republic of Texas. It's not a violent group — think of it like a Model UN, only with more Type II diabetes. It's fun, they...
Toxic sludge: It's what's for dinner!

Texas Loves ‘Local Control’ Until City Votes To Ban Fracking

This story supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spills, Fracking, and Astroturfing. As we all know, there's nothing more sacred to small-government conservatives than the idea of local control. It's why Common Core is...