Tag Archives: sean hannity

  We can't even count high enough

23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome

So you know how Fox News, America’s No. 1 News Source for Your Racist Uncle, got into that little dustup with Le Gay Paree over, you know, how France and England had created a bunch of Muslims-only Shariah paradises where good and decent Christian folk weren’t allowed, which, well, wasn’t compleeeeeeeetely accurate? Of course you do. Dok told you all about it, and we know that you read this mommyblog and recipe hub with the fervor of a teenage boy on Pornhub. And so you also know that the mayor of Paris is not entirely thrilled: Read more on 23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome…
  Fox Apology For Benghazi Coverage Scheduled For June 2019

Fox News’ Statements No Longer Operative, Osama Bin Laden Not Holed Up In Buckingham Palace

It's like a French TV version of Wonkette!
Drudge Sirens! Fox News actually apologized for spreading a completely made-up story about supposed “no-go zones” in England and France — areas where officials supposedly have agreed to let Muslims run things according to the dictates of Sharia, without interference from police or fire services, and where non-Muslims enter at the risk of their own lives. On Saturday night, when even Fox News addicts aren’t watching TV, Fox’s Julie Banderas offered this “correction” to a myth the network had been pushing since shortly after the terrorist attacks in Paris: Read more on Fox News’ Statements No Longer Operative, Osama Bin Laden Not Holed Up In Buckingham Palace…
  Gun Radio: A Radio Show For Guns

George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!

Ready for all comers
George Zimmerman has a lot of free time. His notoriety prevents him from seeking conventional employment, evidently, and he got fired from his last unpaid gig in that the owner of the gun shop he was lurking behind at night for security told him to stop it already. Plus there’s that price on his head. Read more on George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!…
  he also has many leather-bound books

Cool Conservative Judge Slaps Down Immigration Reform With Stuff He Read On Twitter

Judge Schwab issues his ruling.
It has been only a few weeks since our Glorious Leader, the Sun in the Eastern Sky, Generalissimo Barack Obama, threw open our borders to the mongrel hordes of non-Americans desperate to come to our country and pick our vegetables for a dollar a day. Luckily, we have brave people in our judiciary willing to stand up to the dictator Obungler and say no mas! Take your humanity and shove it up your culo, pendejo! Read more on Cool Conservative Judge Slaps Down Immigration Reform With Stuff He Read On Twitter…
  If you love America you'll burn it to the ground

Sean Hannity Will Repeal And Replace John Boehner, Just For Funsies

This is his clever face
Some people might be glad Congress decided to switch things up a bit and actually do some work on Thursday night to keep the government open and functioning. (Yes, we know what “functioning” means, and yes, we’re using that term loosely.) Read more on Sean Hannity Will Repeal And Replace John Boehner, Just For Funsies…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors

Sudo bring me a muffin.
It’s time for another Derp Roundup, the occasional feature where we pressure-wash all the crud off our open browser tabs and bring you some stories that didn’t quite merit their own posts, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. Please administer brain bleach with caution. Read more on Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Remember When That ‘Reporter’ Yelled At Obama About Immigration? (Video)

We just love the woman leaning forward in disbelief
To kick off her recap of how Barack Obama shredded the Constitution for the 165th time, Rachel Maddow reminds us of that exciting moment in 2012 when Barry was announcing his Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) executive order, and while he was speaking, some moron who works at Tucker Carlson’s website started yelling at him. It was a pretty special moment that seems emblematic of the Spirit of the Age — or as our Jim Newell said at the time, “Pure bad faith, baby, that’s how we roll in the Greatest Country In The History Of The World these days.” Read more on Morning Maddow: Remember When That ‘Reporter’ Yelled At Obama About Immigration? (Video)…
  Rush Limbaugh Vs. Context

Rush Limbaugh Mouthpiece Lawsplains What Is ‘Malice’

HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.
Rush Limbaugh’s legal team is taking its completely serious defamation case against the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee to the most important court in wingnut alternate reality: Fox News. On Hannity Monday, attorney Patty Glaser explained why quoting Rush Limbaugh verbatim is actually defamatory, because he also said some other stuff — sarcastically, but he said it. So shame on those uncivil Democrats! Read more on Rush Limbaugh Mouthpiece Lawsplains What Is ‘Malice’…
  Probably should be quarantined

Fox’s Shep Smith Goes Rogue, Probably Has Ebola

He doesn't look well, does he?
While the rest of the inmates at the Fox “News” asylum are having themselves the biggest pants-crapping meltdown over Ebolapocalypseghazigate since some Muslim guy inhaled and then exhaled just like a terrorist, Shep Smith — the guy known as the very lonely lone voice of occasional reason, which is the lowest damned bar imaginable, but okay — is sick of Fox freaking the freak out, and he is not going to take it anymore. Read more on Fox’s Shep Smith Goes Rogue, Probably Has Ebola…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Takes A Belt To Sean Hannity’s Love Of Child Beating (Video)

One of these men seems well adjusted
Stephen Colbert thinks the NFL is a pretty cool organization. “It’s America’s top forum for discussing issues of domestic violence. And I understand the employees also get together and play football on the weekends.” This, of course, brings us once again to the story of Adrian Peterson and his kinetic discipline methods, which left his four-year-old son with injuries all over his back and legs, and left Colbert “nostalgic for the days when [NFL] players were accidentally shooting themselves through their sweatpants.” But Colbert’s main focus Thursday was “Fox News’ Senior Nerf football chucker Sean Hannity” and his perfectly well-adjusted display of thwacking his belt on his desk to demonstrate how his father whipped him. “And I’ve never been to a shrink.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Takes A Belt To Sean Hannity’s Love Of Child Beating (Video)…
  Daddy You Bastard I'm Through

Sean Hannity Acts Out S/M Fantasies On Live Television

strop that misbehavior
Sean Hannity has some intriguing ideas about the world, but we’re pretty sure we don’t wish to subscribe to his newsletter. If it’s possible for him to go even more off the rails, this was the week that it happened. Read more on Sean Hannity Acts Out S/M Fantasies On Live Television…
  On the count of three everyone panic

Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail

Nothing to fear except EVERYTHING
File this under No One Could Have Predicted: While members of Congress are on summer vacation, holding town halls so they can pretend to give a damn about what their constituents have to say, it seems some of those constituents are a tad miffed about this whole BORDER CRISIS!!!!! situation and what exactly Congress plans to do about that. Read more on Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Returns, Fixes Ferguson And Everything Else (Video)

As we’ve noted before, Jon Stewart should not be allowed to go on vacation, ever. During his late-June break, ISIS took over a huge chunk of Iraq, the House sued the president, and Israel went to war in Gaza (again). And two days into Stewart’s most recent summer hiatus, Michael Brown was shot to death by a cop in Ferguson, Missouri. The weirdest stuff seems to happen when there’s no Jon Stewart around to mock it. Read more on Jon Stewart Returns, Fixes Ferguson And Everything Else (Video)…
  scream lover

Sean Hannity Can’t Stop Yelling At Palestinian Bully Who Won’t Answer Simple Loaded Questions

Nobody makes a logo like Fox
On Thursday, Sean Hannity took a few minutes to yell loaded questions at Yousef Munayyer, executive director of The Jerusalem Fund and Palestine Center in Washington, who kept obstinately trying to present his own opinion about Israel’s actions in Gaza instead of agreeing with Hannity that Israel is right in everything that it does. Munayyer was pretty arrogant right from the beginning, when he refused to answer Hannity’s perfectly objective and fair opening question correctly: “If I fired 1600-2000 rockets into your neighborhood, I kidnapped 3 children in your neighborhood and kill them, what do you think the proper proportionate response is?” Munayyer tried to use his own talking point about “decades of military occupation,” but Hannity cut him off, because obviously the correct answer is “A proportionate response would be a bombing campaign and ground assault that has left over 800 dead, because Palestinian life is cheap and we are terrorists, Sean.” Read more on Sean Hannity Can’t Stop Yelling At Palestinian Bully Who Won’t Answer Simple Loaded Questions…
  the smell of captions in the morning

Sean Hannity Prayed For A Mission, And For His Sins, They Gave Him One

Here’s Sean Hannity posing next to a machine gun on a Border Patrol boat on the Big River Rio Grande in Texas, or May-hee-co, or perhaps hundreds of miles up a river that snakes through the immigration war like a main circuit cable. But here he is, on the boat. “Never get out of the boat.” Absolutely goddamn right! Unless you were goin’ all the way… Rick Perry got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. Read more on Sean Hannity Prayed For A Mission, And For His Sins, They Gave Him One…
  so much more polite than 'gash'

Sean Hannity & Mark Levin Share A Good Laugh About Genitalia-Americans — You know, ‘Women’

Sometimes people claim that conservatives don’t know what’s funny, but Sean Hannity knows what’s funny, like calling women “genitalia.” In an interview with frothing radio rodent Mark Levin, who defended the honor of ladies everywhere by telling Martin Bashir not to feed Sarah Palin a dookie, Hannity got some world-class giggles when Levin made a joke about the pointlessness of Republican outreach to “ethnic groups” and “genitalia.” To win, Levin said, the R’s need to return to their natural constituency of “Reagan Democrats, blue-collar Democrats” and to “stop chasing ethnic groups, stop chasing genitalia. Talk to the American people. Talk about liberty, opportunity. Explain to them that Obama’s wrong, and that we need to unleash the American people and unleash the economy.” By golly, if only Mitt Romney had tried to reach out more to white males, 2012 would have been in the bag, all right! Who needs the Genitalia when all the dicks are already in your electoral pocket, right? Read more on Sean Hannity & Mark Levin Share A Good Laugh About Genitalia-Americans — You know, ‘Women’…