Tag Archives: sean hannity

  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Takes A Belt To Sean Hannity’s Love Of Child Beating (Video)

One of these men seems well adjusted
Stephen Colbert thinks the NFL is a pretty cool organization. “It’s America’s top forum for discussing issues of domestic violence. And I understand the employees also get together and play football on the weekends.” This, of course, brings us once again to the story of Adrian Peterson and his kinetic discipline methods, which left his four-year-old son with injuries all over his back and legs, and left Colbert “nostalgic for the days when [NFL] players were accidentally shooting themselves through their sweatpants.” But Colbert’s main focus Thursday was “Fox News’ Senior Nerf football chucker Sean Hannity” and his perfectly well-adjusted display of thwacking his belt on his desk to demonstrate how his father whipped him. “And I’ve never been to a shrink.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Takes A Belt To Sean Hannity’s Love Of Child Beating (Video)…
  Daddy You Bastard I'm Through

Sean Hannity Acts Out S/M Fantasies On Live Television

strop that misbehavior
Sean Hannity has some intriguing ideas about the world, but we’re pretty sure we don’t wish to subscribe to his newsletter. If it’s possible for him to go even more off the rails, this was the week that it happened. Read more on Sean Hannity Acts Out S/M Fantasies On Live Television…
  On the count of three everyone panic

Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail

Nothing to fear except EVERYTHING
File this under No One Could Have Predicted: While members of Congress are on summer vacation, holding town halls so they can pretend to give a damn about what their constituents have to say, it seems some of those constituents are a tad miffed about this whole BORDER CRISIS!!!!! situation and what exactly Congress plans to do about that. Read more on Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Returns, Fixes Ferguson And Everything Else (Video)

As we’ve noted before, Jon Stewart should not be allowed to go on vacation, ever. During his late-June break, ISIS took over a huge chunk of Iraq, the House sued the president, and Israel went to war in Gaza (again). And two days into Stewart’s most recent summer hiatus, Michael Brown was shot to death by a cop in Ferguson, Missouri. The weirdest stuff seems to happen when there’s no Jon Stewart around to mock it. Read more on Jon Stewart Returns, Fixes Ferguson And Everything Else (Video)…
  scream lover

Sean Hannity Can’t Stop Yelling At Palestinian Bully Who Won’t Answer Simple Loaded Questions

Nobody makes a logo like Fox
On Thursday, Sean Hannity took a few minutes to yell loaded questions at Yousef Munayyer, executive director of The Jerusalem Fund and Palestine Center in Washington, who kept obstinately trying to present his own opinion about Israel’s actions in Gaza instead of agreeing with Hannity that Israel is right in everything that it does. Munayyer was pretty arrogant right from the beginning, when he refused to answer Hannity’s perfectly objective and fair opening question correctly: “If I fired 1600-2000 rockets into your neighborhood, I kidnapped 3 children in your neighborhood and kill them, what do you think the proper proportionate response is?” Munayyer tried to use his own talking point about “decades of military occupation,” but Hannity cut him off, because obviously the correct answer is “A proportionate response would be a bombing campaign and ground assault that has left over 800 dead, because Palestinian life is cheap and we are terrorists, Sean.” Read more on Sean Hannity Can’t Stop Yelling At Palestinian Bully Who Won’t Answer Simple Loaded Questions…
  the smell of captions in the morning

Sean Hannity Prayed For A Mission, And For His Sins, They Gave Him One

Here’s Sean Hannity posing next to a machine gun on a Border Patrol boat on the Big River Rio Grande in Texas, or May-hee-co, or perhaps hundreds of miles up a river that snakes through the immigration war like a main circuit cable. But here he is, on the boat. “Never get out of the boat.” Absolutely goddamn right! Unless you were goin’ all the way… Rick Perry got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. Read more on Sean Hannity Prayed For A Mission, And For His Sins, They Gave Him One…
  so much more polite than 'gash'

Sean Hannity & Mark Levin Share A Good Laugh About Genitalia-Americans — You know, ‘Women’

Sometimes people claim that conservatives don’t know what’s funny, but Sean Hannity knows what’s funny, like calling women “genitalia.” In an interview with frothing radio rodent Mark Levin, who defended the honor of ladies everywhere by telling Martin Bashir not to feed Sarah Palin a dookie, Hannity got some world-class giggles when Levin made a joke about the pointlessness of Republican outreach to “ethnic groups” and “genitalia.” To win, Levin said, the R’s need to return to their natural constituency of “Reagan Democrats, blue-collar Democrats” and to “stop chasing ethnic groups, stop chasing genitalia. Talk to the American people. Talk about liberty, opportunity. Explain to them that Obama’s wrong, and that we need to unleash the American people and unleash the economy.” By golly, if only Mitt Romney had tried to reach out more to white males, 2012 would have been in the bag, all right! Who needs the Genitalia when all the dicks are already in your electoral pocket, right? Read more on Sean Hannity & Mark Levin Share A Good Laugh About Genitalia-Americans — You know, ‘Women’…
  the longest cray-cray

What If Fox News Had Covered D-Day?

You guys, Fox News thinks that President Roosevelt screwed the pooch again. After yesterday’s amphibious landings in Normandy, the network grudgingly agreed that Allied troops had established a beachhead in France, but they were really not happy with how Our Boys pulled it off, insisting that the casualties were unacceptably high, speculating that “Two-Wheeler Delano” picked such a dangerous location for the invasion so that it would fail, and blaming Roosevelt for the invasion’s terrible planning, like the dropping of paratroopers dozens of miles off their target: “How would President Roosevelt face the parents of these brave fighting men who parachuted into flooded fields and drowned?” asked Sean Hannity. “Are the grieving families supposed to simply accept ‘cloud cover over the drop zone’ or ‘the planes were dodging flak’ as an excuse?” Hannity called for President Chairdaddy’s resignation, asking “why does anyone still trust this president, after his demonstrated failures in protecting Pearl Harbor? Or the Philippines?” Read more on What If Fox News Had Covered D-Day?…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart To Fox: Way To Welcome Home A Traveling Soldier (Video)

Jon Stewart was in fine form Monday with this segment on the not exactly unpredictable rightwing reaction to the release of Bowe Bergdahl. You’d think getting the last prisoner out of the hands of the Taliban would be a “Magnificent Wonderful Story,” but then the starting with the battle of clichés: “We don’t negotiate with terrorists” vs. “Never leave a man behind.” So, fine, it’s a Magnificent Wonderful Complicated Story. And no one has ever negotiated with terrorists, except for always: Read more on Jon Stewart To Fox: Way To Welcome Home A Traveling Soldier (Video)…
  vets gone to the dogs

Sarah Palin Pretty Sure V.A. Hospitals Death Panel The Troops While Illegal Aliens Get Golden Bedpans

Sarah Palin has given a lot of thought to this scandal at the Veterans Administration, and she has determined, with some help from Sean Hannity, that the best way to describe the V.A. hospital system is with a lie that she made up in 2009. At the “Republican Leadership Conference” in New Orleans Thursday, Hannity asked Palin, “Is the VA a death panel for many?” The audience roared its agreement, so you know it was a good question. You will never ever guess what Sister Sarah said to that! Do you think maybe she agreed? Let’s see what she said! Read more on Sarah Palin Pretty Sure V.A. Hospitals Death Panel The Troops While Illegal Aliens Get Golden Bedpans…
  A Quitter says what?

World’s Laziest Half-Term Governor Says Obama Killed All Those Vets Because He Is So Lazy, Also Too The Media

Oh em gee, you guys, the ghost thinker for Sarah Palin’s brain has informed her that she is SUPER empissened about the just discovered BREAKING news that America does not treat its veterans so good, actually. No, we are not talking about that time some uber Patriot-Americans booed an openly gay Iraq War veteran. Nor are we talking about the time wingnut Townhall essayist Kurt Schlichter told veterans to get a haircut and real job and stop being “couch-dwellers” and homeless bums “playing the vet card.” We are certainly not talking about the time Senate Republicans blocked legislation expanding benefits, including health care, for veterans. And obviously we are not even thinking about that one time that one president created an entire new generation of veterans by sending them off to fight a needless war based on a metric fuckton of lies and also because some has-been spider hole-hiding petty dictator once tried to kill his daddy. Read more on World’s Laziest Half-Term Governor Says Obama Killed All Those Vets Because He Is So Lazy, Also Too The Media…
  happy christmas racism is over

Sean Hannity: Why Can’t Michelle Obama Be Less Racist, Like Condoleezza Rice?

Well here is a “fun” video that MediaMatters has flagged for us! It begins with Terrible Michelle Obama and Terrible Eric Holder speaking about the 60th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education. We are sorry to report this, but Holder claims there is still racism in this country, as if! And Obama doubles down with the total lie that schools attended primarily by children of color are not as good as rich white schools. How could that even be! Racism is over, everyone knows that! Luckily, Sean Hannity and his panel of total cocks (plus Deirdre Imus!) are here to set the record straight, and to wish that Michelle Obama would be a little less of a total hosebeast and a little more like Condoleezza Rice, and be grateful for the fact that she is allowed to eat at the Woolworth’s lunch counter as if she were an actual human being. Read more on Sean Hannity: Why Can’t Michelle Obama Be Less Racist, Like Condoleezza Rice?…
 

Marco Rubio A Climatologist And An Obstetrician Now, Will Tell You When Babby Is Formed

Human-shaped fecal matter Marco Rubio has been taking some heat the last couple of days over his weekend comments regarding climate change and how it’ll take a lot more than 99% of climate scientists saying it is happening to convince him that it is actually happening, and even if it is happening, we don’t know how much of it is attributable to human activity so why bother doing anything to possibly mitigate the effects? Since all the media outlets criticizing Rubio are liberal water carriers for Big Climate, grunting homunculus Sean Hannity interviewed the senator on the radio on Wednesday afternoon and gave him a chance to respond. It went well, if your definition of “well” includes “caused yr Wonkette to hit ourselves in the face with a Louisville Slugger until we passed out.” Rubio’s argument? Liberals are enormous hypocrites for claiming the science of climate change is settled while simultaneously denying that science has also settled that life begins at conception, because that undermines the case for abortion. Our response? GLARGHASLJXNIDFJDIJEW!!!!11!!!!!! Read more on Marco Rubio A Climatologist And An Obstetrician Now, Will Tell You When Babby Is Formed…
  a million ways to derp in the west

Maybe We Shouldn’t Brandish Guns At BLM Workers And Tell Them They Should Die

Back when the news was covering the militia yahoos flocking to Cliven Bundy’s ranch from all over America to defend the old coot’s right to mooch off the federal government like a common welfare queen, a few pundits were calling out Bundy’s enablers in the wingnut media for feeding the fire. With all those shootin’ irons brandished by people with barely the intelligence to know which end to point away from themselves when they pull the trigger, some felt it was irresponsible to lionize Bundy while getting the rubes riled up about the jackbooted federal thugs from the Bureau of Land Management trying to stomp out freedom. Now, the dispute between Western ranchers and federal land managers has been around for decades, even before the Sagebrush Rebellion, so it’s not as if this kind of crap is an unheard-of phenomenon. Still, one hopes the madness is not spreading. Read more on Maybe We Shouldn’t Brandish Guns At BLM Workers And Tell Them They Should Die…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Finally Gets To Bundy Story As It Goes South…And Picks Cotton (Video)

After Jon Stewart spent a good chunk of the week on the Cliven Bundy story (and feuding with Sean Hannity), it’s a little surprising to see that The Colbert Report didn’t touch it until Thursday, after the right’s new darling shared his thoughts on the negro. (Then again, both shows were on break last week.) Still, this gave Colbert the chance to nicely wrap everything up, from his faux-wingnut perspective. Sure, Cliven Bundy didn’t pay grazing fees for twenty years because he doesn’t recognize the U.S. Government, but that’s logically consistent, says Colbert: “OK, you can’t pay a government if it doesn’t exist. Especially not with the money that it issued.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Finally Gets To Bundy Story As It Goes South…And Picks Cotton (Video)…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Literally Eviscerates Sean Hannity, With Literal Viscera Everywhere (Video)

Jon Stewart clearly had entirely too much fun Tuesday replying to Sean Hannity’s pissy little tirade about Jon Stewart’s coverage of Hannity’s hypocritical coverage of the Bundy Ranch Freedom Cow Jamboree. Round three of the volley was just about everything you could want from a Daily Show segment. Read more on Jon Stewart Literally Eviscerates Sean Hannity, With Literal Viscera Everywhere (Video)…
  ode to joy

Oprah’s Ex-Stepmom Is Kind Of A Bitch, And Many Other Happy Nice Time Links!

So much happy! So little time! Sean Hannity SO MAD at Jon Stewart, SOOOO MAD! OPRAH’s ex-stepmom sounds like a real nice lady who calls her stepdaughter “ghetto,” laughs at her taste, calls her a lesbian, and then is : ( that Oprah won’t let her live in her mansion. Read more on Oprah’s Ex-Stepmom Is Kind Of A Bitch, And Many Other Happy Nice Time Links!…
  media circus

Sean Hannity Does Not Care For Jon Stewart’s Unseemly Criticism Of Sean Hannity

Professional Conservative Victim Sean Hannity shared his tears with the nation Tuesday night, carefully debunking Jon Stewart’s satirical commentary on Hannity’s coverage of the Great Cow Freedom Movement. You see, Jon Stewart is a “hack comedian” who is among the “chief apologists for the Obama administration.” In a prolonged rant and panel discussion that lasts a couple minutes longer than Stewart’s full segment on Bundy (of which four minutes were about Hannity), the Fox News host gets super-even with Stewart, conveniently editing out Stewart’s main point, which is that Cow Hero Cliven Bundy is exactly the kind of moocher who wants something for free, and who wants to pick and choose what laws to obey, that Sean Hannity usually likes to mock. The true takeaway, of course, says Hannity, is that John Stewart is “kind of obsessed” with Sean Hannity. Oh, Sean, we don’t know how to break it to you, but honey, Jon Stewart is obsessed with idiots in the media, and you are just one of many, dear. Read more on Sean Hannity Does Not Care For Jon Stewart’s Unseemly Criticism Of Sean Hannity…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Reviews Box Office Sensation Cliven Bundy’s ‘Apocalypse Cow’ (Video)

Jon Stewart is back from break, and not a moment too soon, because we’ve needed his sanity on the Great Nevada Cow Freedom Standoff of 2014. Or as Stewart calls it, “your standard boy has cow, boy breaks law for 20 years, boy loses cow story.” And then came the militia, and a clip of former Arizona Sheriff Richard Mack, the guy with the genius “show the women getting shot first” plan. Just in case there’s any doubt that the Daily Show staff read Yr Wonkette, an astonished Stewart can only say, “He seems nice.” Read more on Jon Stewart Reviews Box Office Sensation Cliven Bundy’s ‘Apocalypse Cow’ (Video)…
  very definitely having a cow

Let’s All Help This Sad Bundy Ranch Supporter I.D. The Jackbooted Thugs, And More In Our Bundy Ranch (Cattle) Roundup, Yeehaw!

The Great Big Freedom to Never Pay Grazing Fees Revolution continues to bubble right along, although the Bureau of Land Management released Cliven Bundy’s cheerfully-trespassing cattle and has backed off from its plans to seize them. Still, there are rumblings in the Wingnuttosphere that this is far from over, because for one thing Bundy still owes the $1 million in unpaid grazing fees (we’ll assume that includes penalties & interest?) and also because it’s just too good a story, so militia loons are continuing to stay at the Bundy ranch and make noises about how the Federal Government has just gone too far by insisting that people who run cattle on federal land actually need to pay for that. Tyranny! And patriotic citizens who can’t make it out to Nevada are also getting involved, like the sad online activist who tried to leave a comment here at yr mommyblog to promote his project to name & shame some jackbooted thugs, but discovered that Wonkette Does Not Allow Comments. And even though they had a really compelling message — “Help rat out Dirty Harry Reid’s minions! http://mercid.wordpress.com/ “ — we didn’t let them into the comments section, because we are liberal fascists. But we did look at their dumb blog, and it was so spectacularly bad that you need to see it. Read more on Let’s All Help This Sad Bundy Ranch Supporter I.D. The Jackbooted Thugs, And More In Our Bundy Ranch (Cattle) Roundup, Yeehaw!…