Wonkette

This is so great. It’s from Hannity & Colmes, probably last night but definitely sometime recently, and the panel of guests is saying how John Edwards “getting away” with his affair (really?) reveals a double standard — because when Republicans get caught fucking something that isn’t a wife, it taints the whole party, but with Democrats, it just ruins the individual. In other words, we should not trust liberals because John Edwards banged his fake videographer. Anyway, around 2:50, Alan Colmes for the first time in his life starts crushing everyone. MORE »

That jabbering nitwit on Fox just signed a $100 million, five-year deal that will distribute his radio show through Citadel and Clear Channel networks. It’s significantly less than Rush Limbaugh’s recent $400 million, eight-year contract — but still, nothing to sneeze at. So what might Sean Hannity spend his truckloads of cash on? MORE »

Liz Glover has been terrorizing the douchebags in New Hampshire with her pink-and-green Barbie polaroid camera. Why that’s her with famous Respected Intellectual Conservative Bill Kristol! Can you believe he wouldn’t even take a question? [Sigh], there goes another role model. More famous assholes after the jump. MORE »

This afternoon President Michael Huckabee went to celebrate his national landslide with Chuck Norris at Concord, NH’s Barley House, where they would be serving up “Huckaburgers.” A general trend I’m, noticing: At every non-Paul GOP rally, the real story will be how rudely the Paultards are protesting it. No one had a chance of eating a “Huckaburger,” ever. Especially when famous asshole Sean Hannity of Fox News — Paultard Enemy #23ish! — is trying to work his way through. MORE »

* Presidential contenders’ YouTube channels range from “mind-boggling” to “old-fart.” [PrezVid]
* Walnuts! now able to literally wipe his feet on Iraq. [Passport]
* Black-tie Gridiron dinner on Saturday night featured Robert Novak in the role he was born to play. [Firedoglake]
* Margaret Carlson always wanted, but never got Fred Thompson’s johnson. [Newsweek]
* Condoleeza Rice offers to pitch if Sean Hannity will catch. [Raw Story]
* Newt Gingrich’s life to resemble Spanish profanity immersion. [The Swamp]
* Bill Richardson is the “greenest” candidate. [TalkLeft]

* Naked chicks at San Francisco protest marches not in same league as Brazil, still way hotter than DC. [1115]
* Don’t you just get so damn tired of Bush and the Jews milking 9/11 all the damn time? [MEMRI]
* Or maybe all a President needs is a few solid one-liners. [Think Progress]
* Joe Biden jerks off to transcripts of his own speeches. [Hill Blog]
* MySpace CEO jerks off to his own “Impact Political Channel.” [Business Wire]
* Al Gore is the most famous strip-mine owner in Tennessee. [Tennessean]
* Rudy opposes gay marriage with a bullet. [Radar]
* “Hannity without Colmes, is like chocolate without calories.” [Atlas Shrugs]

* A primer for politicians on how to cover-up their humorless sycophantic nature for five minutes while on teevee. [Politico]
* It’s impossible to read a Ted Kennedy post without hearing the slurring in your head. [HuffPo]
* Hillary campaign blogger’s background is so top secret it doesn’t even say “top secret” when Googled. [Election Central]
* Sean Hannity knows that “teachers are more dangerous than Al Qaeda.” Stay tuned tonight to learn how kittens and their yarn balls are destroying American values. [Think Progress]
* The Politico says Barack and Michelle (”Barchelle”) are as nice as those pretend colored people from The Cosby Show. [Politics.Wikia]
* Voters don’t care if a President loves the cock, pretty adamant about loving the Jesus. [Political Arithmetik]
* In Connecticut, Christopher Dodd gets a silver medal for futility — McCain takes Gold. [The Swamp]

From the Department of Plausible and Possibly True Rumors:

A friend of mine ran into Katherine at a local restaurant and she boasted to her about receiving “tons and tons of offers from lobbying firms.”

But she went on and said that she is “focused on becoming a radio show host on one of the conservative Christian stations or the host of her own political television show.” And that her very good friend Sean Hannity is “opening doors for her on Fox.”

Please Santa, let this be true.

The teevee part, at least. There’s no money in “conservative Christian radio,” as far as we know, and we need to watch the Kitty.

• “Push Poll” mastermind laughs the evil sardonic laugh you’d expect him too, raps bony fingers. [TPM Muckraker]

• The United States is the paragon of tolerance and diversity for all — all but “the shifty horde on our Southern border.” [Hot Johnny And All of His Pants]
• Air America was killed by Al Franken, in the studio, with the advertiser blackball! [Media Matters]
• It’s better if the electronic voting machines are hackable — any “teenager in Finland” is gonna choose better leaders than the “autofellating corporate shitbags” who do it now. [The Dilbert Blog]
• Sean Hannity is more beast than man. [Comedy Central Insider]
• Don’t call it a comeback, Rick Santorum’s been here for years, knocking out sweaty, shirtless men; putting suckas in tears. [Rick Santorum via Power Line Blog]
• Charlie Rangel has lived in Harlem for 76 years, and has yet to shoot anyone in the face. [Gawker]

We’ve been reminded that New York’s State Court of Appeals will be reviewing the case for allowing hairdressers to marry each other tomorrow. And while that may seem like a sure thing, there are doubts, because the case is a quagmire composed of a fabulous melange of four separate lawsuits, any of which may torpedo the whole thing. MORE »