Tag Archives: sean hannity

  with militias intent

Failed Congressional Candidate Planned To Kill Some Muslims As Love Offering To Sean Hannity

Those aren't crazy eyes at all, no sir
Let’s meet Robert Doggart, who ran last year as an independent for Tennessee’s 4th Congressional District (and lost rather badly, getting just 6.4 percent of the vote). But he’s not the sort of guy to just dabble in politics as a fringe candidate; he decided to face America’s problems head on, plotting to lead a militia attack on a Muslim community in New York, a bit of patriotic direct action that could get him five years in prison, which seems maybe a little light for planning an act of terrorism, but it’s not like he’s a jihadi or anything. Besides, we all know there are no rightwing terrorists. Read more on Failed Congressional Candidate Planned To Kill Some Muslims As Love Offering To Sean Hannity…
  UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Gavin McInnes: Stop Being Miserable, Ladies, And Be Housewives As God Intended

Ah, the good old days
There is this guy, Gavin McInnes, and he is terrible, so of course he is on Fox News, like, all the time. And on Thursday, he went on Sean Hannity’s teevee show to make Sean giggle so hard about how miserable women are because feminism won’t let them stay home and be glorified like in the good old days. What, you think we’re joking? We are not. Read more on Gavin McInnes: Stop Being Miserable, Ladies, And Be Housewives As God Intended…
  Now we know

Jeb ‘The Smart One’ Bush Determined To Prove He’s Just As Stupid As His Brother

Yes, he's that dumb
Jeb Bush has dreamed of being president since, oh, the last century. His dumb big brother got to skip ahead of him (UNFAIR, Dad), but now it is finally Jeb’s turn. So given his decades of dreaming and scheming and preparationing, you’d think he would know how to answer the most obvious question he will be asked during his not-yet-official campaign: Are you a fucking idiot just like your brother? Read more on Jeb ‘The Smart One’ Bush Determined To Prove He’s Just As Stupid As His Brother…
  A victory for feminism!

Rand Paul: I Don’t Hate Women, I’m An Equal Opportunity Dick

He is genitals blind and will yell at ANYONE
Rand Paul has had a rough couple of days since he announced that he will be the next, LOL, president of these United States. He spent Day One being mocked ruthlessly on the intertubes for the disaster that is his campaign website, filled with misspelled words like “eductation,” ridiculous swag (hoodies and skull caps, Senator? Really?), and a page of “endorsements” from German stock photos. Read more on Rand Paul: I Don’t Hate Women, I’m An Equal Opportunity Dick…
  nsfw

Sean Hannity To That Pussy Obama: Do You Even Crossfit, Bro?

BRAH, DOES THE PRESIDENT EVEN LIFT? Sean Hannity lifts. Sean Hannity is a big MMA-fighter in training. Sean Hannity finally has found away to deal with the aggression inherent in having to wake up every day as SUCH A BADASS. Hannity is so much tougher, TOO MUCH TOUGHER than that dumb pussy Barack Obama, who was resoundingly elected president twice. Barack Obama works out in mom jeans, haw haw haw. He probably doesn’t even know what Creatine is. Everybody, check out how ripped Sean Hannity is: Read more on Sean Hannity To That Pussy Obama: Do You Even Crossfit, Bro?…
  Did You Ever Notice Liberals Are Stupid? What's Up With That?

Ladies, Sean Hannity Can See Into Your Baby Caves

Suck it, Jon Stewart. Now THIS is comedy.
It turns out that CPAC 2015 was pretty much a Cavalcade of Conservative Comedy. In addition to the sly wit of Rick Santorum’s Birther joke, Sean Hannity did this hilarious routine about how Barack Obama keeps blaming Bush for everything! Talk about a fresh idea! Except it sort of went all cattywampus at the end: Read more on Ladies, Sean Hannity Can See Into Your Baby Caves…
  Fox Hix Nix Vax Fax

Fox News Injects Known Toxins Into Vaccination Discussion

The stupid is growing
Now that at least a part of the Wingnut Wing of the Republican Party has decided there’s a debate about basic medical facts, like whether vaccines or even hand-washing should be mandatory, it stands to reason that Fox News wants in on the fun as well. Read more on Fox News Injects Known Toxins Into Vaccination Discussion…
  Papa Bear versus Mama Grizzly

Bill O’Reilly And Sarah Palin Engage In War Of Wits. Both Lose

Sore loser, winner, whatever
Who would win a battle o’ the brains: Bill O’Reilly or Sarah Palin? Ha, that’s a trick question because the correct answer is “Who cares? Just pass the popcorn!” The other day, Bill O’Reilly, winner of all the Very Serious Journalism awards, reported that lol, a bunch of doofus idiots are pretending to maybe run for president in 2016, like Sarah Palin and Donald Trump and Chris Christie, who apparently is as absurd a maybe-candidate as Palin and Trump, though we’re not sure how that works since Christie at least has a real job, but OK, why not? Read more on Bill O’Reilly And Sarah Palin Engage In War Of Wits. Both Lose…
  We can't even count high enough

23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome

So you know how Fox News, America’s No. 1 News Source for Your Racist Uncle, got into that little dustup with Le Gay Paree over, you know, how France and England had created a bunch of Muslims-only Shariah paradises where good and decent Christian folk weren’t allowed, which, well, wasn’t compleeeeeeeetely accurate? Of course you do. Dok told you all about it, and we know that you read this mommyblog and recipe hub with the fervor of a teenage boy on Pornhub. And so you also know that the mayor of Paris is not entirely thrilled: Read more on 23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome…
  Fox Apology For Benghazi Coverage Scheduled For June 2019

Fox News’ Statements No Longer Operative, Osama Bin Laden Not Holed Up In Buckingham Palace

It's like a French TV version of Wonkette!
Drudge Sirens! Fox News actually apologized for spreading a completely made-up story about supposed “no-go zones” in England and France — areas where officials supposedly have agreed to let Muslims run things according to the dictates of Sharia, without interference from police or fire services, and where non-Muslims enter at the risk of their own lives. On Saturday night, when even Fox News addicts aren’t watching TV, Fox’s Julie Banderas offered this “correction” to a myth the network had been pushing since shortly after the terrorist attacks in Paris: Read more on Fox News’ Statements No Longer Operative, Osama Bin Laden Not Holed Up In Buckingham Palace…
  Gun Radio: A Radio Show For Guns

George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!

Ready for all comers
George Zimmerman has a lot of free time. His notoriety prevents him from seeking conventional employment, evidently, and he got fired from his last unpaid gig in that the owner of the gun shop he was lurking behind at night for security told him to stop it already. Plus there’s that price on his head. Read more on George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!…
  he also has many leather-bound books

Cool Conservative Judge Slaps Down Immigration Reform With Stuff He Read On Twitter

Judge Schwab issues his ruling.
It has been only a few weeks since our Glorious Leader, the Sun in the Eastern Sky, Generalissimo Barack Obama, threw open our borders to the mongrel hordes of non-Americans desperate to come to our country and pick our vegetables for a dollar a day. Luckily, we have brave people in our judiciary willing to stand up to the dictator Obungler and say no mas! Take your humanity and shove it up your culo, pendejo! Read more on Cool Conservative Judge Slaps Down Immigration Reform With Stuff He Read On Twitter…
  If you love America you'll burn it to the ground

Sean Hannity Will Repeal And Replace John Boehner, Just For Funsies

This is his clever face
Some people might be glad Congress decided to switch things up a bit and actually do some work on Thursday night to keep the government open and functioning. (Yes, we know what “functioning” means, and yes, we’re using that term loosely.) Read more on Sean Hannity Will Repeal And Replace John Boehner, Just For Funsies…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors

Sudo bring me a muffin.
It’s time for another Derp Roundup, the occasional feature where we pressure-wash all the crud off our open browser tabs and bring you some stories that didn’t quite merit their own posts, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. Please administer brain bleach with caution. Read more on Derp Roundup: Biblical Computer Programming, Obama’s Race Czar, And Other Horrors…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Remember When That ‘Reporter’ Yelled At Obama About Immigration? (Video)

We just love the woman leaning forward in disbelief
To kick off her recap of how Barack Obama shredded the Constitution for the 165th time, Rachel Maddow reminds us of that exciting moment in 2012 when Barry was announcing his Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) executive order, and while he was speaking, some moron who works at Tucker Carlson’s website started yelling at him. It was a pretty special moment that seems emblematic of the Spirit of the Age — or as our Jim Newell said at the time, “Pure bad faith, baby, that’s how we roll in the Greatest Country In The History Of The World these days.” Read more on Morning Maddow: Remember When That ‘Reporter’ Yelled At Obama About Immigration? (Video)…
  Rush Limbaugh Vs. Context

Rush Limbaugh Mouthpiece Lawsplains What Is ‘Malice’

Always take this guy's advice
Rush Limbaugh’s legal team is taking its completely serious defamation case against the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee to the most important court in wingnut alternate reality: Fox News. On Hannity Monday, attorney Patty Glaser explained why quoting Rush Limbaugh verbatim is actually defamatory, because he also said some other stuff — sarcastically, but he said it. So shame on those uncivil Democrats! Read more on Rush Limbaugh Mouthpiece Lawsplains What Is ‘Malice’…
  Probably should be quarantined

Fox’s Shep Smith Goes Rogue, Probably Has Ebola

He doesn't look well, does he?
While the rest of the inmates at the Fox “News” asylum are having themselves the biggest pants-crapping meltdown over Ebolapocalypseghazigate since some Muslim guy inhaled and then exhaled just like a terrorist, Shep Smith — the guy known as the very lonely lone voice of occasional reason, which is the lowest damned bar imaginable, but okay — is sick of Fox freaking the freak out, and he is not going to take it anymore. Read more on Fox’s Shep Smith Goes Rogue, Probably Has Ebola…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Takes A Belt To Sean Hannity’s Love Of Child Beating (Video)

One of these men seems well adjusted
Stephen Colbert thinks the NFL is a pretty cool organization. “It’s America’s top forum for discussing issues of domestic violence. And I understand the employees also get together and play football on the weekends.” This, of course, brings us once again to the story of Adrian Peterson and his kinetic discipline methods, which left his four-year-old son with injuries all over his back and legs, and left Colbert “nostalgic for the days when [NFL] players were accidentally shooting themselves through their sweatpants.” But Colbert’s main focus Thursday was “Fox News’ Senior Nerf football chucker Sean Hannity” and his perfectly well-adjusted display of thwacking his belt on his desk to demonstrate how his father whipped him. “And I’ve never been to a shrink.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Takes A Belt To Sean Hannity’s Love Of Child Beating (Video)…
  Daddy You Bastard I'm Through

Sean Hannity Acts Out S/M Fantasies On Live Television

strop that misbehavior
Sean Hannity has some intriguing ideas about the world, but we’re pretty sure we don’t wish to subscribe to his newsletter. If it’s possible for him to go even more off the rails, this was the week that it happened. Read more on Sean Hannity Acts Out S/M Fantasies On Live Television…
  On the count of three everyone panic

Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail

Nothing to fear except EVERYTHING
File this under No One Could Have Predicted: While members of Congress are on summer vacation, holding town halls so they can pretend to give a damn about what their constituents have to say, it seems some of those constituents are a tad miffed about this whole BORDER CRISIS!!!!! situation and what exactly Congress plans to do about that. Read more on Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Returns, Fixes Ferguson And Everything Else (Video)

As we’ve noted before, Jon Stewart should not be allowed to go on vacation, ever. During his late-June break, ISIS took over a huge chunk of Iraq, the House sued the president, and Israel went to war in Gaza (again). And two days into Stewart’s most recent summer hiatus, Michael Brown was shot to death by a cop in Ferguson, Missouri. The weirdest stuff seems to happen when there’s no Jon Stewart around to mock it. Read more on Jon Stewart Returns, Fixes Ferguson And Everything Else (Video)…
  scream lover

Sean Hannity Can’t Stop Yelling At Palestinian Bully Who Won’t Answer Simple Loaded Questions

Nobody makes a logo like Fox
On Thursday, Sean Hannity took a few minutes to yell loaded questions at Yousef Munayyer, executive director of The Jerusalem Fund and Palestine Center in Washington, who kept obstinately trying to present his own opinion about Israel’s actions in Gaza instead of agreeing with Hannity that Israel is right in everything that it does. Munayyer was pretty arrogant right from the beginning, when he refused to answer Hannity’s perfectly objective and fair opening question correctly: “If I fired 1600-2000 rockets into your neighborhood, I kidnapped 3 children in your neighborhood and kill them, what do you think the proper proportionate response is?” Munayyer tried to use his own talking point about “decades of military occupation,” but Hannity cut him off, because obviously the correct answer is “A proportionate response would be a bombing campaign and ground assault that has left over 800 dead, because Palestinian life is cheap and we are terrorists, Sean.” Read more on Sean Hannity Can’t Stop Yelling At Palestinian Bully Who Won’t Answer Simple Loaded Questions…