• Too much yakking about whether Sarah Palin is “qualified” or “a dumbass.” Let’s just trust Rush Limbaugh’s expert judgment and move on. [Hot Air]
• RedState book club! And what are we reading this week? Oh, Jonah Goldberg’s Newberry-Awarding winning throw-up? Delectable. [RedState]
• The #1 reason the European Union blows is not that it’s a conglomerate of shameless socialist welfare states. (That’s the #2 reason.) No no, far worse is that because of the EU there are no more European wars! Oh, boo! [Matt Yglesias]
• Sean Hannity discusses the pros and cons of religious conservatives making sex tapes. [AMERICAblog]

• High-frequency trading? Goldman Sachs? Ball’s in your court, Taibbi. [Matt Yglesias]
• “You Want Context? Drudge Will Give You Context.” And brain herpes! [Weekly Standard]
• Joe Biden is such a golly liberal fascist, according to liberal fascist experts. [USA Today]
• The best part of RedState’s furry convention was when Liz Cheney gave everyone an enormous boner — as stiff as a starched collar! Who could resist doe-eyed Liz in that delicious panda bear suit? So soft. [RedState]
• Sean Hannity is now a Texas Kentucky Colonel. [Think Progress]
• CNN took one look at the ad Media Matters wanted to air and said, “What is this? You are not selling pills or automobiles? NO. This will not do. Air your facts on Fox.” [TPM]

TIME magazine’s chief political sociopath Mark Halperin, who is right about most things, in politics, is urging readers of his The Page website to memorize Sean Hannity’s interpretation of Sarah Palin’s steamy resignation, oh boy. Sean Hannity says not to trust the media! Since such parameters would ostensibly include Mark Halperin, we agree with Sean Hannity. But what non-Hannity conclusions does Halperin include in the latest not-annoying edition of “HALPERIN’S TAKE,” not-annoyingly titled “9 Pieces of ‘Analysis’ About Sarah Palin’s Decision That Are Flat-Out Totally Wrong”? MORE »

Here, would you like to see Sean Hannity having an awkward chat with Sarah Palin somewhere outdoors in New York City? No? Fine. Just, if you want to, here it is, and fuck you very much, Fox, for not having an embed function on your WEB EXCLUSIVE VIDEOS. [Fox News]

Even after all these years, we’re still shocked that a popular television host can be so morally bankrupt as to take this passage from Barack Obama’s speech — “I’m aware that there’s still some who would question or even justify the events of 9/11. But let us be clear: Al Qaeda killed nearly 3,000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people, claimed credit for the attack, and even now states their determination to kill on a massive scale. They have affiliates in many countries and are trying to expand their reach. These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” — but cut it off after the first sentence and tell his audience that Barack Obama “decided to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” At least make your comedy show funny, Sean. [Washington Monthly]

Unless you’re attending today’s meeting of the Ron Paul/Michele Bachmann Economics Lunch Club, you should spend five minutes of your lunch hour, at your “full-time job,” watching this week’s impressive “Tuesday Lunch Video,” as discovered while searching the word “empathy” on YouTube. MORE »

• YOUR MONTHLY UPDATE ON THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE: Recently a few half-powerful (or anonymous) Democrats have been overheard expressing their support for Reinstating The Fairness Doctrine. Well, those people are retarded if so. Nevertheless, it’s fueled the Right’s fear campaign that Obama will reinstate this thing and Sean Hannity’s listeners will be forced to turn over their property and the Internet to any Mexican with a driver’s license. A White House spokesman, however, released another brief statement reiterating that Obama does not want to do this. This will only make Republicans more skeptical. [Fox News]

Known anus Sean Hannity has a new feature on his Fox News television program, Hannity & Death, in which he peels off a piece of a big puzzle every day for Obama’s first 100 days in office. Behind the puzzle is a picture which will — according to the web producer of Hannity’s “The Great American Blog,” which is also a common nom de guerre for Wonkette — “reveal the true Barack Obama underneath.” So it was up for a few days before the entire Internet figured it out. Shocking visual commentary, below! MORE »

The technological marvel that is “Twitter” allows Americans the opportunity to watch wingnut entertainers actually lose their shit in real time, on the Internet. Here, neanderthal poop-sack Sean Hannity lets us know about the New World Order, in which the Black Muslim President (Nancy Pelosi) will somehow make right-wing bloggers get drivers’ licenses, in order to type ALL CAPS freakouts about the Islamo-Fascists in the White House. Illegal Mexicans/Dirty Bombers, however, will still be allowed full access to both America and its white virgins. [Twitter]

Here’s Barack Obama today, in whatever random Midwest hamlet of Poors he picked for promoting his stimulus package, responding to something Sean Hannity apparently DEMANDED on his teevee show: that the two of them go get a beer. Because if Obama really wants to reach his hand across the aisle, that requires him taking taking some fathead wingnut teevee slob (who murdered Alan Colmes — where else would he be??) out for a beer. Obama likes to respond to these demagogues, for some reason, and pretend-accepts Hannity’s invitation. But maybe this is just Obama going undercover to locate the secret “black site” sex dungeon in which Hannity keeps Colmes?

After centuries of entrapment in a vaguely humanoid husk, the alien mutant Alan Colmes was finally permitted to slither out through a nostril and return to the elvin sewers from which he was fished so long ago. This left Sean Hannity in a pickle, because he still needed somebody to abuse every night on his television show. MORE »