Tag Archives: scumbags

  science fact

Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison Correctly Calls Opponent ‘Scumbag’ In Totally Harmonious Debate

So here is this Chris Fields fellow, running against OH NOEZ A REVERSE RACIST MUSLIN TERRORIST, Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison, and apparently he is a “low-life scumbag.” We know this because Keith Ellison said so during their debate this morning, and he hasn’t lied to us yet! Chris Fields on the other hand, is sort of … postmodern, as seen in that thing we just linked to twice and will link to again. Chris Fields: “I just want to point your attention to a few things that are blatantly misrepresented.” City Pages: “In my post?” Fields: “Yes, in your post. I did not explicitly call Keith a reverse racist. I didn’t. I didn’t.” CP: “Ok, I’m looking at the ad right now, it says, ‘reverse racism.’ And there’s a picture of Keith Ellison next to it.” Fields: “Ok, it says two words. What about the rest of the words there? I mean, do they count? And I’m not trying to be confrontational here –” Oh there’s so much more! WE SUGGEST YOU READ IT. So anyway, today’s debate. Read more on Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison Correctly Calls Opponent ‘Scumbag’ In Totally Harmonious Debate…
  new study proves it

Science Proves Rich People Are Generally Evil

Extremely wealthy people discard their own spouses and children as easily as they discard thousands of factory workers. They feel absolutely no guilt as they scheme and connive, and they will rip off other rich people in massive Ponzi schemes with as little feeling as they’ll rape their housekeepers. The rich strap their supposedly beloved family pets to the top of their expensive cars for days at a time, and find the animal’s resulting terror and diarrhea funny. The rich are different, that’s for sure — they lack morals. This is the not-so-surprising result of a study by scientific academic people at a university somewhere. Read more on Science Proves Rich People Are Generally Evil…
  dirty real estate deals

Everything About Rick Santorum Is Gross, Like His ‘Creamcup Trust’

Today’s Santorum scandal du jour — which means “a frothy mix, etc.,” in Santorum’s native language of Gay Obsessed — involves the various mansions he purchases through shady mortgages, in Virginia. But really, did he need to name his sketchy tax dodge “The Creamcup Trust,” and did he have to involve somebody named “James Sack”? Read more on Everything About Rick Santorum Is Gross, Like His ‘Creamcup Trust’…
  psa

Take a Moment To Help Defeat the Senate’s Internet Censorship Nonsense (Thing Will Pop Up, Don’t Be Alarmed)

Does this widget thing work? If not, click here! Do it now! (Or in the morning.) This is a part of an effort of a coalition of sites and groups all over the internet. And the chorus of opposition is growing every day — the NYTimes, LATimes, and even Microsoft have come out against SOPA because of the momentum you helped create. Read more on Take a Moment To Help Defeat the Senate’s Internet Censorship Nonsense (Thing Will Pop Up, Don’t Be Alarmed)…
  occupy the wall street journal

Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half

Shrunken cliche Rupert Murdoch’s empire of shit continues to stink, with his “rogue corporation” caught in yet another amoral activity — this time, managers of his Wall Street Journal have been caught inflating the paper’s European circulation by 41%. So the big corporations paying top dollar to reach the coveted 1% who supposedly read the WSJ while shopping in Paris or whatever were instead paying to have 31,000 daily copies bought for a nickel apiece and dumped. Worse, the paper printed a bunch of bogus endorsements and features on the shell companies involved in the criminal scheme. Read more on Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half…
  Fair-Weather Friends

Giuliani Breaks Promise To Legally Gay Marry His Gay Roommates

Back when rat-faced 9/11 pornographer Rudy Giuliani was just another cross-dressing sleazebag New York politician kicked out of his house for banging his mistress, the only two people who would take him in were two kindly homosexual gentlemen. And so, for months, Rudy Giuliani was the third leg of this curious tripod: a supposedly straight, serial-marrying power-mad big city mayor sharing an apartment with two nice gay men — sort of like The Odd Couple + La Cage aux Folles × Richard III. And Rudy promised his friends that if gay marriage ever became legal in the state of New York, he would happily perform the wedding ceremony. Can you guess what Rudy da Rat is doing now? Hiding. Not answering his phone. Read more on Giuliani Breaks Promise To Legally Gay Marry His Gay Roommates…
  psa re: kochsuckers

Here’s How the Koch Bros. Put ‘Raise the Retirement Age’ On TV

Why, exactly, should we raise the retirement age? Who benefits from that? Certainly not people, now being told that they’ll have to toil until death after all, just like the slaves and serfs of the cruel past. And why should the elderly now have to work to the grave? Because the Koch Brothers were born into $300 million fortunes and they’ve exploited hundreds of thousands of laborers and the natural resources of America to make that $300 million into billions, and they don’t want to pay any taxes on that, because they are evil. Here’s a quick video that’s not too lulzy but might be just what your brainwashed grandparents need to receive in their AOL mail. Read more on Here’s How the Koch Bros. Put ‘Raise the Retirement Age’ On TV…
  see ya around clowns

Newt Gingrich’s Campaign Staff All Quitting, For Obvious Reasons

We haven’t heard about Newt Gingrich since he was pooping all over the GOP’s platform and also defending his $500,000 no-interest credit line at Tiffany’s, so he can always get some new whore trinkets for whatever new mistress he’s bonking in some broom closet. So how’s that campaign going? Oh, you forgot Newt Gingrich was running for president? Hahaha so did everybody, including Newt’s campaign manager and a half-dozen senior campaign staffers. They’re done! It’s time to hook up with somebody who has a chance in hell of getting the GOP nomination or at least a second spot on the ticket. And Newt Gingrich is never going to be the nominee for president or vice president of anything beyond Newt Gingrich Enterprises, LLC. Read more on Newt Gingrich’s Campaign Staff All Quitting, For Obvious Reasons…
  revolutionary ideas

AZ Tea Party Senators Want Tea Party License Plates To Benefit Tea Party

No legislative body in WORLD HISTORY has compared to the greatness of the Republican/Tea Party-led Arizona state senate, which bravely responded to Jared Loughner’s slaughter in Tucson by creating an official state handgun and also legalizing loaded handguns at all public events. But the Arizona Senate Republicans have proved they stand for more than just slaughtering children and shooting holes through the brains of Democratic politicians — the Tea Party members of the AZ state senate are creating brave new ways of legislating financial support for the Arizona Tea Party! Read more on AZ Tea Party Senators Want Tea Party License Plates To Benefit Tea Party…
  america's greatest state

AZ Senate Wants More Slaughter, Approves Guns For All Everywhere

Arizona’s Republican/Tea Party Senate is a semi-functioning real-life parody of Bloodsoaked Idiot America. This is the legislative body that responded to the awful gun slaughter of state politicians and citizens in Tucson by creating an Official Handgun of the State of Arizona. And now the same group of hate-filled dingbats has passed a bill legalizing loaded guns at all public events. Now every day can be a Safeway slaughter like the one that killed six people and wounded another thirteen for simply taking going grocery shopping and stopping for a moment to say hello to their congressional representative. Read more on AZ Senate Wants More Slaughter, Approves Guns For All Everywhere…
  america's top racists

Vile Racist Jeff Sessions: It’s His Day To Shine!

Who is this vile, lisping piglet known as the “top ranking Republican” on the Senate Judiciary Committee calling everybody and everything (mostly Elena Kagan) Communist and Anti-American? Why it’s Alabama heartthrob Jeff Sessions, the Reagan-era U.S. attorney in Mobile who, when nominated by the Gipper to be U.S. District Court judge in southern Alabama, was revealed to be a complete racist and Bircher-style paranoid — the kind of trash who would tell black colleagues that he thought the Ku Klux Klan were “okay” until he discovered some of them were “pot smokers.” Read more on Vile Racist Jeff Sessions: It’s His Day To Shine!…
  make darrell issa cry

But Could Saint Ronald Reagan Possibly Be As Corrupt As Barack Obama?

Some communist somewhere is circulating this old AP newspaper clipping claiming that the sainted Reagan Administration did that thing that every political leadership has done since the Dawn of Politics, and frankly it’s insulting to the memory of The Gipper to even suggest his White House would’ve offered an ambassadorship or administration job to a Republican facing a tough GOP primary that could divide the base. Seriously, look at this news clipping and ask yourself, “Doesn’t this font look kind of funny?” Read more on But Could Saint Ronald Reagan Possibly Be As Corrupt As Barack Obama?…
  drunky mcrape-attempt

Jim Gibbons, America’s Worst Governor, Will Lose His Primary

Does anyone outside of Nevada remember America’s Worst Governor, drunken idiot slimeball waitress-assaulting Jim Gibbons, a red-faced beady-eyed turd so stupid and crooked that even Nevada’s Republicans have spent the past three rotten years mocking and attacking his incompetent, missing-in-action term as governor? Read more on Jim Gibbons, America’s Worst Governor, Will Lose His Primary…
  it's justice day!

Feds Nail Five Blackwater Executives; Evil Racist Fascist ex-LAPD Chief Finally Dead

The Justice Department just indicted five evil southern scum-lords who used to run Blackwater, the private murder company hired by Dick Cheney to kill everyone in Iraq. The charges? Weapons violations, something about illegal machine guns, lies to the Feds, general criminality. No murder charges, because it’s always the little shit that brings down these big shits. Oh and Daryl Gates, evil-ass racist LAPD chief during the Rodney King era, is dead. The Friday after Tax Day is Moral Tax Day! [Reuters/TPM/NYT] Read more on Feds Nail Five Blackwater Executives; Evil Racist Fascist ex-LAPD Chief Finally Dead…
  florida

Charlie Crist Wants Feds To Prosecute Republican Party of Florida

Florida Republicans are always good for a laugh (Katherine Harris, etc.) or terrible scandal that destroys the national GOP during an election year (Mark Foley, etc.), so let’s see what’s going down in the “Alligator State” right now! Oh, look, jeez, the former Republican chair Jim Greer is being investigated for assigning his own company a “secret contract” from the Republican Party of Florida worth $200,000, and spending a million bucks of the party’s money on fancy European vacations. Charlie Crist, who picked Jim Greer for the GOP job, is not happy about this! He’s calling in the Feds! Read more on Charlie Crist Wants Feds To Prosecute Republican Party of Florida…
  gross people from the past

Scumbag Has-Been John Edwards Maybe About To Admit To Fathering That Poor Baby

From his teevee-anchor dyed & blow-dried hair to his repulsive stucco fortress on a million acres of North Carolina scraped dirt, everything about the ambulance-chasing personal injury attorney has always cried FRAUD, but the most disgusting part about Edwards was his phony public displays of fucky love for his poor (yet fantastically rich) old wife, who always has cancer. Read more on Scumbag Has-Been John Edwards Maybe About To Admit To Fathering That Poor Baby…
  love for sale

Sleazy Washington Post Selling ‘Access’ To CEOs, For $25,000

America’s neo-con pamphlet the Washington Post can be found festering in certain driveways from Reston to Chevy Chase, but sometimes that’s not good enough for the powerful CEO or lobbyist who wants to, say, beat the shit out of Richard Cohen in person. This is why Post publisher Katharine Weymouth is now hosting intimate sexy gatherings at her home, where for a small admission price (between $25,000 and $250,000), the lonely business leader can dine with WaPo editors and journalists, get a loving hummer from Krauthammer or Kristol or (imagine!) both of them. Read more on Sleazy Washington Post Selling ‘Access’ To CEOs, For $25,000…
  stick to teabags

Off-Roader Idiots Break Federal Law, Whine About Maybe Being Prosecuted

What happens when a law-and-order wingnut encounters a law he doesn’t like? He breaks the law, while hollering about his “rights,” and then freaks out when there is a consequence for breaking said law. This is the dumb melodrama happening in southern Utah right now, where the very beautiful and unique Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument was the backdrop for some fucktard OHV fatsos doing an illegal “protest ride” on their smoke-farting noisemakers through a wild river in a National Monument. And the BLM just let it happen, instead of shooting the miscreants, but everybody and their various pigmobiles got photographed by the feds, and now the U.S. Attorney has the stuff, and the off-road slobs are just losing their minds because oh noes, they are common criminals and they might get cited. Read more on Off-Roader Idiots Break Federal Law, Whine About Maybe Being Prosecuted…
  ugh

Misogynist Neck-Beard Ross Douthat Shares His Sexy Stories

Everybody was so excited when what’s his name, Atlantic child wonder Ross Douthat, got Bill Kristol’s spot in the New York Times. We’re still kind of angry about the NYT taking away one of our easiest weekly comedy bits, so no hurrahs from your Wonkette. Also, this Ross Douthat does seem to be that most common of things, a conservative asshole! Let’s take a look at his book, Privilege, and a very unsexy scene on page 184. Read more on Misogynist Neck-Beard Ross Douthat Shares His Sexy Stories…
  pig monsters

Mark Penn Still a Scumbag

Repulsive swamp cow Mark Penn has so many personal microtrends that they all add up into one megatrend, which is “Mark Penn will take money from anybody, including Satan.” Here is Rachel Maddow responding to Penn’s latest bullshit about his latest scandal — claiming his PR firm hasn’t done work for Blackwater murder gangs. [Gawker] Read more on Mark Penn Still a Scumbag…
  can't judge a book by lookin' at the cover

Blago’s Book Sure To Be Bestseller

There is only one way we’re buying Rod Blagojevich’s sure-to-be-shitty “inside story” about how he’s an “incompetent crook” and “washed-up circus clown” — and that’s if Chicago’s Lauri Apple actually provides the cover art. And the “book” is not actually written by Rod Blagojevich, and is also not about him at all. The back cover needs to be the famous “I CAN PARACHUTE ME THERE” illustration, the end. [Chicagoist/TrendPiece] Read more on Blago’s Book Sure To Be Bestseller…
  jim gibbons

AMERICA’S WORST GOVERNOR CAUGHT HUMPING OLD PLAYMATE: Drunken lout and serial cheater Jim Gibbons took a break from ruining Nevada to get caught cheating on his soon-to-be ex-wife Dawn, again, in the parking lot of the Reno Rodeo. Stay classy, Jim. [AOL Political Machine] Read more on …