How did you spend the Fourth of July? Maybe having a BBQ with friends and family, watching a fireworks show, and generally enjoying a happy patriotic holiday? Batshit-insane American Quitter Sarah Palin ended her own special “Independence Day” by posting a series of desperate grammar-challenged nonsense and vicious threats on her Facebook and Twitter pages. Really. MORE »

Good christ but this guy is a terrifying shit-monster — a leering death clown who is supposed to go away, but cannot, because he is the world’s biggest asshole. Thanks, Dick Cheney, for reminding us how to hate again. Here are the main lies from his foul hymn to Satan today. [Talking Points Memo]

This is going to go on forever — and eventually, it will involve the female participants wrestling in a vat of Taco Bell X-treme ketchup or whatever. Hooray! Now, lest you believe this is somehow “trivial” or “exactly what happens in much of America,” we want to remind you that this woman, Sarah Palin, intends to become President, somehow, and then she will install Trig as “Prince ‘o Peace,” and he will rule the world for 666 years, and then he will nuke it. He is made of nukes, Trig is.

Oh, Sarah Palin, your trashy ass may be back in Alaska today, but you’ve left enough enemies down here in the contiguous U.S. — the real, pro-America America — to keep Wonkette going until Christmas. From this wonderful Newsweek collection of campaign trails, we learn today that Palin’s shopping spree was a lot worse than the original outrageous $150,000 orgy of luxury. MORE »

Well, we’re glad that the planners of the Democratic National Convention have so diligently put together their celebrity cameo list for Denver. They have announced that Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, and N.E.R.D. will perform music shows. Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Forrest Whitaker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Cheryl Hines and Edward Norton Jr. have promised to smile for the cameras. Corporate sponsors include United Airlines, Google, Coors Brewing Company, Anheuser-Busch, Xcel Energy, Motorola, Qwest, and AT&T. So many announcements, and such organization! At this rate, the DNCC might actually review media applications soon and let members of the press know whether or not they should buy expensive plane tickets. [WP/The Sleuth]