Tag Archives: scotus

  waaaaaaah

Republicans: Oh, You Lost Your Obamacare, Well Boo Hoo Hoo

Republicans are SO excited at the possibility of the Supreme Court murdering Obamacare, finally, but it won’t all be unicorns and rainbows and the free market allowing you the freedom to die from lack of access to healthcare. There will also be, sigh and eyeroll,  the unfortunate but inevitable attempt by the Obama administration to, like, fix that. This is what keeps Republican Sen. Ron Johnson up at night, apparently: Read more on Republicans: Oh, You Lost Your Obamacare, Well Boo Hoo Hoo…
  Sounds like somebody got her school nurse certificate online

Elementary School Nurse Will Determine If Students Are Patriotic Enough For Her Services

You pledge allegiance to Flag Cat right now!
It is a well-established fact that any American, for any reason, can refuse to say the Pledge Of Allegiance, as an exercise of their First Amendment rights. Perhaps they find it creepy, or aren’t too keen on the religious part of it (which, contrary to popular conservative myth, was only added in 1954, and not by Jesus himself). Perhaps they HATE AMERICA, but probably not. This was established by the Supreme Court in 1943, in a case called West Virginia Board Of Education v. Barnette, so it’s not exactly breaking news. But some people seem to have been playing hooky from reading their 1943 SCOTUS decisions, because a school nurse at Wilson Middle School in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, decided to unleash on, and then refuse to treat, an eighth grade student who chose to exercise right to remain seated when the daily Pledge Time happened. Read more on Elementary School Nurse Will Determine If Students Are Patriotic Enough For Her Services…
  Pray the Cruz away

Ted Cruz Will Repeal Supreme Court, Replace It With His Dad

just lyin' with my mouth
Practically President Already Ted Cruz spent most of last week sadding over the decision by Arkansas and Indiana to amend their gay-hatin’ bills to say “but we don’t really hate The Gay, wink.” At a campaign event in Iowa, Cruz talked about how disappointed he is that those states’ RINO governors decided to give in to The Gay Agenda, and he also worried that the Supreme Court is going to do the same thing later this year (which it is),  insisting again that the Court does not have the authority to do that: Read more on Ted Cruz Will Repeal Supreme Court, Replace It With His Dad…
  God loves Notre Dame best. She's a masochist.

Notre Dame Stands In Schoolhouse Door To Block Slut Pills Today. Tomorrow. FOR EVER!

Word.
Ladies, would you like to guess who’s screwing around with your reproductive health coverage this week? Haha, that was a trick question — the answer is always “everyone,” but we were specifically referring to the Supreme Court! Yesterday it ordered the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals to revisit its decision last year demanding Catholic university Notre Dame … fill out a religious-freedom opt-out form if it didn’t want to supply contraceptive coverage under the rules of Obamacare. Why did SCOTUS vacate and remand Seventh Circuit’s decision? Because Burwell v. Hobby Lobby! Remember, “religious freedom” isn’t only about straight bakeries and straight florists – it is also about anti-science craft stores! Read more on Notre Dame Stands In Schoolhouse Door To Block Slut Pills Today. Tomorrow. FOR EVER!…
  It's Showtime! Again!

How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer

please uphold so we can get on with our lives
Today, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in King v. Burwell, a case challenging the legality of the federal subsidy provision of the ACA, because rather than just having a robust legislative debate culminating in a law, and then moving on with their goddamned lives, Republicans have voted to repeal it 56 times since President Obama signed it in March 2010, unleashing the tyranny of private market health insurance on all of us. After today’s oral arguments, the Supremes will hang out, have some drinks, braid each other’s hair, and then issue a decision in June as to whether the ACA’s federal subsidies are good to go in states using the federal insurance marketplace, or whether people in the states that declined to set up their own exchanges will suddenly, oops, no longer be eligible for federal subsidies. And then there will death spirals everywhere! Let’s ACAsplore. Read more on How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer…
  Texas you are donking this up

Texas Gays Up Marriage For A Sec, EVERYBODY PANIC

The one happy couple allowed in Texas
Would you like to guess which state is gaying up their marriage situation? It is Texas! Only they are not doing it neatly, in an easy-to-follow series of coherent events, they are completely donking it up. But go ahead and have some champagne anyway, because did you hear the part where some people got gay married in TEXAS? Read more on Texas Gays Up Marriage For A Sec, EVERYBODY PANIC…
  Pay your premiums

GOP Shockingly Silent On Awesome Obamacare Numbers, Huh!

Obamacare. It's fetch.
 The open enrollment period for getting some delicious, socialist (haha not socialist) Obamacare ended on February 15, so if you were planning to enroll and didn’t, you are out of luck, so sorry. But if you are one of the 11.4 million people who DID enroll through an ACA marketplace during the most recent enrollment period, then you will have health insurance as soon as you pay your first premium — actually, go ahead and do that right now, we’ll wait — and now you are free to go get that checkup you were putting off! Hooray! What have congressional Republicans said about the ACA since the awesome enrollment numbers were released earlier this week? Oh, absolutely nothing as of Wednesday afternoon, and shush, please don’t bother them, they are busy trying to shut down the government again. Read more on GOP Shockingly Silent On Awesome Obamacare Numbers, Huh!…
  And he'll lose there too

Alabama’s Roy Moore Will Appeal SCOTUS Marriage Ruling Directly To God

America’s most esteemed jurist, Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, is not giving up his fight to save Alabama from the hordes of gays currently destroying the state by having equal marriage rights. Even though a terrible federal judge named Callie V.S. Granade (sounds like GRENADE because she GRENADED opposite marriage) not only ruled Alabama’s marriage amendment unconstitutional, but also had the audacity to order probate judges to actually DO WHAT SHE SAID, and even though the Supreme Court was okay with all of this, Roy Moore wants everybody to know that he will be forced to defy a Supreme Court ruling in favor of gayness, because “organic law” and Jesus: Read more on Alabama’s Roy Moore Will Appeal SCOTUS Marriage Ruling Directly To God…
  The '90s called and they want their dumb laws back

Ted Cruz Has Had It With You Federales Gaying Up Those Nice Straight Red States

He'll save you, red states!
You guys, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Not Gonna Be President) did not get the memo. You know the one. It reads “Hey, we’re all cool with gays doing marriage to each other now. Xoxoxo, Most of U.S. America.” Yeah, he didn’t get that. Read more on Ted Cruz Has Had It With You Federales Gaying Up Those Nice Straight Red States…
  The revolution will not be ... happening

Alabama Anti-Gay Today, Anti-Gay Tomorrow, Anti-Gay FOREVAH

Well, actually ...
Hooray, the revolution is finally here! After years of judicial activists cramming marriage equality down the unwilling throats of Americans who are mostly cool with it at this point, Alabama’s probate judges, who are not judicial activists because they just aren’t, have answered the call of literally tens of Americans and refused to recognize the authority of the Supreme Court of the United States of America-Except-For-Alabama, because who do those guys think they are anyway, Supreme Court justices or something? Read more on Alabama Anti-Gay Today, Anti-Gay Tomorrow, Anti-Gay FOREVAH…
  Stars fell on Alabama and made it gay

Supreme Court Forces Alabama’s Top Wingnut Judge To Swallow Gay Marriage

This is actually a thing that is happening right now, in Birmingham.
That friendly man pictured above is doing the hard work of exorcising the homosexual demons out of Alabama because YOU GUYS, the state officially has marriage equality! REPENT! Sunday night, Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore — America’s greatest Ten Commandments-protecting jurist, with a special version of the First Amendment just for Christians — bravely followed through on his promise to block the gay courthouse door, in order that the fundamentalist Christians of Alabama might be saved from the devil’s wrath and raining hellfire and whatnot. You know, the typical stuff that happens when Brandon and Derek tie the knot. Read more on Supreme Court Forces Alabama’s Top Wingnut Judge To Swallow Gay Marriage…
  Here have some news n stuff

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: SCOTUS Will Be Perfect When We Get Rid Of All The Men

Just another reason to love the best justice on the court
Oh look, it’s Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg being a super-bad badass and crushing the patriarchy again. No, she didn’t do some gay-marrying this weekend, as she is wont to do. No, she didn’t kick her own heart’s ass while pumping iron in the gym. As she is also wont to do.This time she just gave a little talk at Georgetown University about how hard it used to be “in the ancient days” for lady lawyers because it was a male-dominated profession, and males, well, they were men. Read more on Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: SCOTUS Will Be Perfect When We Get Rid Of All The Men…
  No Cake For You

Americans Cool With Gay Marriage, But The Gays Should Not Have Cake Or Flowers

we don't even have a cake!
A new AP-GfK poll was released Thursday showing that a majority of Americans (44 percent) favor legalizing gay marriage in their home states, while 39 percent oppose it, and 15 percent don’t favor or oppose it (really?). So, way to go, um, 44 percent of Americans! Also, America is apparently split down the exact middle on the issue of whether the Supreme Court should rule that gay marriage is constitutional when it reviews the issue later this spring, so half of you are fine, and the other half of you are meh and should not receive any of the fabulous wedding invitations. Read more on Americans Cool With Gay Marriage, But The Gays Should Not Have Cake Or Flowers…
  Virginia Really IS for Lovers This Time

Judge Rules Same-Sex Couple Can Now Violate Sanctity Of Birth Certificate

Equal Parts Right & Rights
For the easily outraged, the only thing rivaling the “Sanctity of Marriage” is the “Sanctity of Official State Documents.” So the following Nice Time story will provide a respite from perpetual intolerance veiled in bureaucracy. Read more on Judge Rules Same-Sex Couple Can Now Violate Sanctity Of Birth Certificate…
  There's gotta be a santorum joke in here somewhere

Hero Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Will Block Gay Courthouse Door, For Freedom

Adam y Esteban
Fellow Patriots®, are you tired of the gay agenda being rammed down your throat? Are you afraid that the repeated joyous celebrations of legalized gay marriage exploding all over your face will give you gay herpes of the eye? You are not alone, and we have a hero who has returned from the ashes, like a dung beetle we thought the universe had shat out of existence, only to return like a shit-stained phoenix rising from derp-filled ashes of bigotry: Read more on Hero Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Will Block Gay Courthouse Door, For Freedom…
  But don't worry they will keep trying to ban abortion in all of the ways

House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh

do we need to go back to THIS?
Today is the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade, which is one of those Supreme Court decisions that you totally know about! In Roe, the Court held that ladies have a constitutional right to have an abortion up until fetal viability, or roughly 24 or 25 weeks of pregnancy, so if you are a pregnant lady and you have been pregnant for fewer than 24 weeks, you may choose to stop being pregnant, and that is your constitutional right. Read more on House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh…
  A lawsplainer

SCOTUS Getting Ready To Bring Back Segregated Housing, But Not In A Racist Way

Ass. Holes.
Hi, what are you doing today? Working hard? Hardly working? If you are the rage pustule known as Antonin Scalia, the answer is “helping Texas bring back segregated housing because of states’ rights and freedom and lots of other things but DEFINITELY NOT intentional racism.” Read more on SCOTUS Getting Ready To Bring Back Segregated Housing, But Not In A Racist Way…
  Here have some news n stuff

Surprise! Justice Scalia Is Biggest Jerk On The Court

“Antonin Scalia 2010” by Stephen Masker – Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons A smart-ass law professor decided to do A Serious Study on Supreme Court justices and sarcasm. You’ll never guess who wins The Most Sarcastic Justice award: Read more on Surprise! Justice Scalia Is Biggest Jerk On The Court…
  Nice time except for anti-vaxxers

Second Circuit Court: No, The Devil Did Not Make Your Vaccines

  Well, look who’s all “public health is still a thing!” A three-judge panel of the Second Circuit just upheld a New York state requirement that kids attending public schools must be vaccinated. Nice going, Second Circuit! But it is a tiny bit obnoxious that we are still discussing this issue, so let’s please grab onto some science and hang on to it really tightly! Read more on Second Circuit Court: No, The Devil Did Not Make Your Vaccines…