Tag Archives: scotus

  Texas you are donking this up

Texas Gays Up Marriage For A Sec, EVERYBODY PANIC

The one happy couple allowed in Texas
Would you like to guess which state is gaying up their marriage situation? It is Texas! Only they are not doing it neatly, in an easy-to-follow series of coherent events, they are completely donking it up. But go ahead and have some champagne anyway, because did you hear the part where some people got gay married in TEXAS? Read more on Texas Gays Up Marriage For A Sec, EVERYBODY PANIC…
  Pay your premiums

GOP Shockingly Silent On Awesome Obamacare Numbers, Huh!

Obamacare. It's fetch.
 The open enrollment period for getting some delicious, socialist (haha not socialist) Obamacare ended on February 15, so if you were planning to enroll and didn’t, you are out of luck, so sorry. But if you are one of the 11.4 million people who DID enroll through an ACA marketplace during the most recent enrollment period, then you will have health insurance as soon as you pay your first premium — actually, go ahead and do that right now, we’ll wait — and now you are free to go get that checkup you were putting off! Hooray! What have congressional Republicans said about the ACA since the awesome enrollment numbers were released earlier this week? Oh, absolutely nothing as of Wednesday afternoon, and shush, please don’t bother them, they are busy trying to shut down the government again. Read more on GOP Shockingly Silent On Awesome Obamacare Numbers, Huh!…
  And he'll lose there too

Alabama’s Roy Moore Will Appeal SCOTUS Marriage Ruling Directly To God

America’s most esteemed jurist, Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, is not giving up his fight to save Alabama from the hordes of gays currently destroying the state by having equal marriage rights. Even though a terrible federal judge named Callie V.S. Granade (sounds like GRENADE because she GRENADED opposite marriage) not only ruled Alabama’s marriage amendment unconstitutional, but also had the audacity to order probate judges to actually DO WHAT SHE SAID, and even though the Supreme Court was okay with all of this, Roy Moore wants everybody to know that he will be forced to defy a Supreme Court ruling in favor of gayness, because “organic law” and Jesus: Read more on Alabama’s Roy Moore Will Appeal SCOTUS Marriage Ruling Directly To God…
  The '90s called and they want their dumb laws back

Ted Cruz Has Had It With You Federales Gaying Up Those Nice Straight Red States

He'll save you, red states!
You guys, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Not Gonna Be President) did not get the memo. You know the one. It reads “Hey, we’re all cool with gays doing marriage to each other now. Xoxoxo, Most of U.S. America.” Yeah, he didn’t get that. Read more on Ted Cruz Has Had It With You Federales Gaying Up Those Nice Straight Red States…
  The revolution will not be ... happening

Alabama Anti-Gay Today, Anti-Gay Tomorrow, Anti-Gay FOREVAH

Well, actually ...
Hooray, the revolution is finally here! After years of judicial activists cramming marriage equality down the unwilling throats of Americans who are mostly cool with it at this point, Alabama’s probate judges, who are not judicial activists because they just aren’t, have answered the call of literally tens of Americans and refused to recognize the authority of the Supreme Court of the United States of America-Except-For-Alabama, because who do those guys think they are anyway, Supreme Court justices or something? Read more on Alabama Anti-Gay Today, Anti-Gay Tomorrow, Anti-Gay FOREVAH…
  Stars fell on Alabama and made it gay

Supreme Court Forces Alabama’s Top Wingnut Judge To Swallow Gay Marriage

This is actually a thing that is happening right now, in Birmingham.
That friendly man pictured above is doing the hard work of exorcising the homosexual demons out of Alabama because YOU GUYS, the state officially has marriage equality! REPENT! Sunday night, Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore — America’s greatest Ten Commandments-protecting jurist, with a special version of the First Amendment just for Christians — bravely followed through on his promise to block the gay courthouse door, in order that the fundamentalist Christians of Alabama might be saved from the devil’s wrath and raining hellfire and whatnot. You know, the typical stuff that happens when Brandon and Derek tie the knot. Read more on Supreme Court Forces Alabama’s Top Wingnut Judge To Swallow Gay Marriage…
  Here have some news n stuff

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: SCOTUS Will Be Perfect When We Get Rid Of All The Men

Just another reason to love the best justice on the court
Oh look, it’s Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg being a super-bad badass and crushing the patriarchy again. No, she didn’t do some gay-marrying this weekend, as she is wont to do. No, she didn’t kick her own heart’s ass while pumping iron in the gym. As she is also wont to do.This time she just gave a little talk at Georgetown University about how hard it used to be “in the ancient days” for lady lawyers because it was a male-dominated profession, and males, well, they were men. Read more on Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: SCOTUS Will Be Perfect When We Get Rid Of All The Men…
  No Cake For You

Americans Cool With Gay Marriage, But The Gays Should Not Have Cake Or Flowers

we don't even have a cake!
A new AP-GfK poll was released Thursday showing that a majority of Americans (44 percent) favor legalizing gay marriage in their home states, while 39 percent oppose it, and 15 percent don’t favor or oppose it (really?). So, way to go, um, 44 percent of Americans! Also, America is apparently split down the exact middle on the issue of whether the Supreme Court should rule that gay marriage is constitutional when it reviews the issue later this spring, so half of you are fine, and the other half of you are meh and should not receive any of the fabulous wedding invitations. Read more on Americans Cool With Gay Marriage, But The Gays Should Not Have Cake Or Flowers…
  Virginia Really IS for Lovers This Time

Judge Rules Same-Sex Couple Can Now Violate Sanctity Of Birth Certificate

Equal Parts Right & Rights
For the easily outraged, the only thing rivaling the “Sanctity of Marriage” is the “Sanctity of Official State Documents.” So the following Nice Time story will provide a respite from perpetual intolerance veiled in bureaucracy. Read more on Judge Rules Same-Sex Couple Can Now Violate Sanctity Of Birth Certificate…
  There's gotta be a santorum joke in here somewhere

Hero Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Will Block Gay Courthouse Door, For Freedom

Adam y Esteban
Fellow Patriots®, are you tired of the gay agenda being rammed down your throat? Are you afraid that the repeated joyous celebrations of legalized gay marriage exploding all over your face will give you gay herpes of the eye? You are not alone, and we have a hero who has returned from the ashes, like a dung beetle we thought the universe had shat out of existence, only to return like a shit-stained phoenix rising from derp-filled ashes of bigotry: Read more on Hero Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Will Block Gay Courthouse Door, For Freedom…
  But don't worry they will keep trying to ban abortion in all of the ways

House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh

do we need to go back to THIS?
Today is the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade, which is one of those Supreme Court decisions that you totally know about! In Roe, the Court held that ladies have a constitutional right to have an abortion up until fetal viability, or roughly 24 or 25 weeks of pregnancy, so if you are a pregnant lady and you have been pregnant for fewer than 24 weeks, you may choose to stop being pregnant, and that is your constitutional right. Read more on House GOP Aborts Dumb Anti-Choice Bill Because Ladies Vote Too, Huh…
  A lawsplainer

SCOTUS Getting Ready To Bring Back Segregated Housing, But Not In A Racist Way

Ass. Holes.
Hi, what are you doing today? Working hard? Hardly working? If you are the rage pustule known as Antonin Scalia, the answer is “helping Texas bring back segregated housing because of states’ rights and freedom and lots of other things but DEFINITELY NOT intentional racism.” Read more on SCOTUS Getting Ready To Bring Back Segregated Housing, But Not In A Racist Way…
  Here have some news n stuff

Surprise! Justice Scalia Is Biggest Jerk On The Court

“Antonin Scalia 2010” by Stephen Masker – Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons A smart-ass law professor decided to do A Serious Study on Supreme Court justices and sarcasm. You’ll never guess who wins The Most Sarcastic Justice award: Read more on Surprise! Justice Scalia Is Biggest Jerk On The Court…
  Nice time except for anti-vaxxers

Second Circuit Court: No, The Devil Did Not Make Your Vaccines

  Well, look who’s all “public health is still a thing!” A three-judge panel of the Second Circuit just upheld a New York state requirement that kids attending public schools must be vaccinated. Nice going, Second Circuit! But it is a tiny bit obnoxious that we are still discussing this issue, so let’s please grab onto some science and hang on to it really tightly! Read more on Second Circuit Court: No, The Devil Did Not Make Your Vaccines…
  RIP Obamacare maybe?

Supreme Court Gets Another Chance To Impeach Obamacare

Maybe SCOTUS will pull the plug on grandma after all
Did you think Obamacare was settled law just because it is the law, and settled, and the Supreme Court agreed that yes, it is the law, and settled? Ha, idiots! As Republicans have been telling us since before President Obama even signed the Affordable Care Act, they will vote to repeal it as many times at it takes — so far, more than 50 — until it is gone forever. And after Tuesday’s election, Sen. Mitch McConnell and House Speaker John Boehner said AGAIN that they are going to fix all the things the president has done to destroy America by repealing Obamacare, for real this time, which will create jobs somehow, not sure how that works, Republican magic, probably. Read more on Supreme Court Gets Another Chance To Impeach Obamacare…
  Stick to TED Talks

Sixth Circuit Strikes Down Gay Marriage For Stupid Reasons That Are Dumb

But we're leaving out The Gay, right? Right!
Well, looky here, the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals has decided to cram homophobia down everyone’s throats. Talk about judicial activism! In a 2-1 decision, the three-judge panel — with the dissenter writing a most epic dissent, but we’ll get to that — ruled in DeBoer v. Snyder that it is perfectly fine and legal, and probably also good for the children, to ban marriage equality in Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee. The court uses a lot of fancy legal jargon like “strict scrutiny” and “rational basis review” and lots of citations to lots of cases to make it look like the judges are just doing their jobs, but when you cut out all of that lawtalk, the basic premise of the court’s decision to overturn the lower courts’ decisions is that, as judges, they cannot possibly decide whether it is constitutional to discriminate against gay people for being gay. What are they — judges? Read more on Sixth Circuit Strikes Down Gay Marriage For Stupid Reasons That Are Dumb…
  Here have some news n stuff

Radical Feminist SCOTUS Forces Texas To Do All The Abortions Again

Bad news for this guy, great news for people who actually have abortions
Image via shortformblog We still can’t quite believe this, but the Supreme Court issued this very brief order on Tuesday, re-opening about a dozen of Texas’s abortion clinics that had been shut down by the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals earlier this month while the lower court decides the underlying case: Read more on Radical Feminist SCOTUS Forces Texas To Do All The Abortions Again…
  Nicest Nice Time Ever With Extra Nice

Supreme Court Says You Can Go Ahead And Get Gay Married After All, Idaho

One more down ...
Apparently, Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy just needed a few days to think about gays getting married in Idaho because on Friday, the court issued this very brief order: The application for stay presented to Justice Kennedy and by him referred to the Court is denied. The orders heretofore entered by Justice Kennedy are vacated. That now vacated order would be the one Justice Kennedy issued on Wednesday, telling Idaho and Nevada to just hang on one dang second with that marriage stuff, a mere day after the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals issued a most excellent opinion telling those two states, and specifically Gov. Butch Otter, to shove their “traditional marriage” into any orifice of their choosing. Read more on Supreme Court Says You Can Go Ahead And Get Gay Married After All, Idaho…
  First Amendment right to make monies!!!!!

Hobby Lobby Owner Cool With Making Money From Abortion Drugs Because That’s Different

Time for another history lesson
Here is a Shocking! revelation from Steve Green, president of the crafting-for-Jesus Hobby Lobby chain. He still hates birth control, of course, because he sincerely believes it murders babies. Lucky for him the Supreme Court agreed he has a First Amendment right to disregard the law because of how sincerely he believes that. (Yep, still mad about that. Still gosh darned effing pissed, ACTUALLY. Especially because now your “sincerely held religious beliefs” can get you out of pretty much any laws you don’t like.) Read more on Hobby Lobby Owner Cool With Making Money From Abortion Drugs Because That’s Different…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow: Voting Is A Right, Just Like Gay Marriage (Video)

Pennies from heaven...
Monday night, Rachel Maddow was positively giddy about the Supreme Court’s decision to let stand lower courts’ pro-marriage equality rulings. By Tuesday, she was wondering whether federal courts would figure out that voting is supposed to be a fairly absolute right as well. Read more on Rachel Maddow: Voting Is A Right, Just Like Gay Marriage (Video)…