Usually, it is the legislative and/or executive branches that do a late-afternoon pre-holiday weekend news dump, hoping to hide something especially egregious in plain sight, thinking you’ll be too busy to notice because you’re picking up two cases of Bud Light Lime and an absolute fuck-ton of M-80s to take to the cabin. This year, however, […]

It is so stupid, to not be born a man. It is the dumbest thing a person could possibly do, yet fully 51% of the population has committed this sin! We are so grossed out by this, and we are so delighted by today’s Supreme Court decision. Haha, this is a joke, we hate this […]

The American Patriarchy Association didn’t want to leave anything to chance with its poll about the Supreme Court’s decision in the Hobby Lobby case, so it gave readers a choice between being excited that God answered their prayers (and yet Barack Obama obstinately remains in office), or being excited that the religious freedom to keep […]

If you want to spend your morning rage-reading the Supreme Court’s decision in Burwell, Secretary of Health and Human Services, et al. v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc., et al., aka, Actual Science Stuff v. People Who Think Your Birth Control Makes Jesus Cry, you may want to reconsider, because it will make you want to […]

Today’s SCOTUS decision on birth control has us feeling creative! In addition to writing a fantastic one-act play called “The Taming Of The Slut,” we’ve compiled a list of ten Hobby Lobby products that sound like birth control or abortifacients (these are two different things, but not according to the douchedudes on the Supreme Court!) but […]

ALITO SUCKS  12:05 pm June 30, 2014

Supreme Court Dicks Over Unions

by DDM

Hey, did you know that there were TWO decisions from the Supreme Bishops Court today? Before they announced that ‘Corporations are religious people, my friend,’ they announced a decision about unions. And we saw that unions were once again weakened: The Supreme Court ruled narrowly on Monday that some government employees do not have to […]

The curtain opens on a  generic office setting. THE BOSS sits behind a desk, feet up, hands folded behind head. His employee, LADY WORKER, enters, looking nervous.  LADY WORKER: You wanted to see me? THE BOSS: Yes, yes. Do sit down, child. Wait, you do not have your period, do you? LADY WORKER: Excuse me? THE […]

“He said, ‘If you like your plan, you can keep your plan.’ Oh yeah?” This was my mother yelling at the president, which I hadn’t heard her do since Bush II. This was a woman who can hardly believe how much the Republican Party has changed since she registered to vote for Richard Nixon. Who voted […]

Yesterday’s SCOTUS decision striking down a protester buffer ring around Massachusetts health clinics made me remember the time I got “counseled” by a man protesting Planned Parenthood. He yelled “MURDERER!” at me and waved a Bible. I was 25, scared, and fresh off a nasty surprise in the form of a broken condom. I blurted out, “Not […]

So first let’s get the bad news out of the way: The Supreme Court unanimously threw out the Massachusetts law that established a 35-foot buffer zone around the entrances to abortion clinics, finding that it violates the First Amendment. And now the not-quite-as-awful-as it-sounds-at-first news: The ruling itself is relatively narrow, according to SCOTUSblog. Essentially, […]

Has Victoria Jackson been informed of this? The U.S. Supreme Court has declined the chance to save Tennessee from rampant sharia law, or at least it won’t intervene in a bullshit case claiming that the Islamic Center of Murfreesboro was constructed without adequate public notice. Opponents of the existence of Muslims had filed the suit […]

Woo! Time to Supreme Court Celebrate! Apparently we’ve set the bar so low for this particular Court that we are now counting as a victory for the good guys the most minor of things, like the fact that the court today announced that they will make it a wee bit harder to execute someone who […]

Today we ponder two awesome pieces of journalism, both of which had Twitter buzzing when they hit the web late Wednesday night. It was a tough choice for us deciding which one excited us more. Nothing we like better than some hard-hitting web content. Let’s compare the two and see which one has the potential […]

Hey there Supreme Court, whatcha doing today? Not sucking? Sure, because the sun rose in the east this…wait, what? We’re so used to the Roberts Courts inventing new ways to prove that a bare majority of them are such fucking assholes they would sell out their own mothers for an invite to a Federalist Society […]

Crybaby car-robber firebug Darrell Issa sucks. We could really end this post right now, but you are probably wondering why we are writing again about the sucktastic exploits of the World’s Worst Arsonist-and-Car-Robber-(and Crybaby!)-Turned-Congressman. Well, here is why: House Oversight Chairman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) blew his chance to hold former IRS official Lois Lerner in […]