scott brown
Your morning editor has an aversion to watching TV news of any political stripe, because it becomes impossible to block out the talking and the voices, they just keep coming at you, saying horrible, horrible things. But it seemed like it might be fun to watch a video in which Sarah Palin twitched and cooed [...]
A heroic staffer for Massachusetts model-senator Scott Brown recently saved this nice little cat from a harsh, lonely existence on the wild streets of Washington and brought her to Brown’s office. The feline polled well with Team Brown and subsequently acquired a new name: the distinctive “Lucky, a.k.a. ‘Longshot’” — as well as a new [...]
Hilarious 2008 character Mitt Romney has been bringing bags of money to Republican candidates across the nation, but he’s still a GOP nobody compared to such right-wing celebrities as Snowbilly Sarah Palin and sociopathic opportunist Newt Gingrich. Why can’t Mittens just be an ignorant bigot like they are, and bash the Muslims and Mexicans and [...]
America’s new Ted Kennedy, Senator Scott Brown, just can’t stop himself from enraging the tri-corner Internet lamers who rallied nationwide to help him defeat some Democrat lady who didn’t even really try to win. Brown’s latest treachery was voting to stop Republicans from preventing passage of the middle-of-the-road Financial Regulation bill. HOW COULD HE DO [...]
Financial regulation was dead yesterday, but today it is alive again, just like Jesus! And speaking of things or people who are like Jesus, we have Scott Brown to thank for this turn of events. All Barney Frank and his fellow Sadducees had to do to win the love of Brown and the New England [...]
Esteemed man of letters Fred “#ftrs” Thompson drove a Folksy Truck of the People long before Scott Brown ever drove his pants-free pickup all over Taxachusetts, winning votes and ladies’ hearts. So just how come nobody has asked him for his views on Brown’s fancy rip-off truck, you’ve been wondering for so many months now? [...]
Thanks to actual Maoist Scott Brown, the Senate passed its version of the financial reform bill, huzzah! The bill creates a “financial stability oversight council” (presumably the equivalent of a “death panel,” but for money), regulates derivatives trading, and allow the SEC to regulate hedge funds. But what are all the ways in which this [...]
Furry Massachusetts socialist Scott Brown switched his vote to “yes” on the latest financial regulatory reform motion to proceed, after LYING to elderly Mormon vote-counter Harry Reid and voting “no” during last night’s attempt. Today’s final count was 60 to 40, just enough to break a filibuster, making Brown’s switch the deciding factor. Let’s see [...]
We all know that boy-crazy Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has only orchestrated this whole nomination business to get some facetime with distinguished older gentlemen in hopes of finally finding “the one.” But only Republican hero Scott Brown realized the leverage this gave Senators over the future judicial dictator, and he used all of his [...]
Senator Scott Brown stiffed Patriot-Americans yet again on Monday by voting to consider a “temporary extension of unemployment benefits.” This does not sit well with wise cat-hording grandma Tom Coburn, a licensed medical professional from a real state and one of the nation’s leading experts in PRIORITY SCIENCE.
Because they were so desperate for a Hero, America’s lonely old teabaggers put all their hopes and dreams on a handsome, naked, liberal man in the Socialist Republic of Massachusetts. At least he was white! But after sending him all of their Social Security checks and Green Stamps and whatever, Scott Brown proudly took Ted [...]
America’s most poorly clothed senator, Scott “The Bush” Brown of the RomneyCare State, attended a pornographic play last night about his very own life at Boston’s Improv Asylum last night. It was called “You’re A Good Man, Scott Brown,” just like in the cartoons. Was it funny? We don’t know, ask someone from goddamn Boston! [...]
