Tag: scott brown

Wonkette Lifeboat: Your Hope-Enabling Election Results

Wednesday was one long day of avoiding the news, Wonketteers, and we understand if you've been busy numbing your pain by shopping for shoes or guzzling dark-colored liquors, but we would be remiss if we didn't draw your attention...

Wonkette Live Blog III: And We Choked Their Rivers With Our Dead

Well! We are guessing if you are still with us, we don't have to work too hard to get you up to speed. Things are a little bleak here in the Washington Bureau, where we are into our fifth...
You will be seduced.

Scott Brown Closes Escrow On Sweet Little Place In Vermont

Ho ho ho, we made a joke in our headline! Scott Brown has not actually bought a house in Vermont. OR HAS HE??? No, he hasn't. THAT WE KNOW OF!!! (He probably has.) Yes, Scott Brown, the pro-choice (not really)...
"Bro, bro! Do you even lift, bro?"

Scott Brown Down To Party, Get Elected Senator, Whatever, It’s Cool, Brah

Scott Brown is the bro-iest bro who ever bro-ed his way across multiple states in search of a Senate seat, and Benny Johnson, digital director at National Review whose job description also involves giving verbal handies to Scott Brown,...
Metaphor? Why did you think Grover Norquist's 'government small enough to drown in a bathtub' was a metaphor?

NH Republican Takes ‘Wave Election’ Metaphor A Bit Far, Wants To Drown Democrats

Hey, remember that one time Barack Obama repeated a line from The Untouchables and wingnuts all freaked out about his violent thuggish rhetoric? In today's Civility Update, we have real gem from New Hampshire GOP Chair Jennifer Horn, who...
S-M-R-T

Ann Coulter Still Getting On TV Somehow

You almost (relax, we said almost) have to pity Ann Coulter, the once semi-relevant "author" and "columnist" whose brand was being The Hot Conservative Chick, with the long blonde hair and little black dresses -- oh, and the obnoxious...
At least she sort of likes him

Scott Brown Finds One Lady Who Will Vouch For Him (His Wife)

Scott Brown might not have found a winning message with the lady voters of New Hampshire yet, but there's at least one woman who thinks he's not bad: Mrs. Scott Brown. Tell us why he's so THE BEST, won't you,...
The first time I set eyes on Nate Silver, I just got that old-fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone him.

How Every Endangered Senate Democrat Will Win In November, Because Why Not

It looks like Republicans are probably going to control the Senate next year despite how people don't like them, according to Nate Silver's FiveThirtyEight blog and other respected nerds. In 2012, Silver famously predicted the winner of every Senate race,...

It’s The Great Pumpkin Riot, Scott Brown

Now that he's running for Senate in New Hampshire, former Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown is totally A Guy From New Hampshire who would never miss the New Hampshirest of all possible events, the Pumpkin Festival in Keene. Even though...
Nope, wrong again

Scott Brown: We Wouldn’t Have Ebola If Mitt Was President

Roll your eyes with us, won't you please, at the latest steaming pile of stupid from former Sen. Scott Brown (R-Whatever State Will Take Him): “Gosh can you imagine if Mitt was the president right now?” Brown said. “He was...

Scott Brown’s New Frat-Bro Dude Friends Have Such Nice Things To Say About Congressgirls!

Republican Scott Brown, the former senator from some dumb state that doesn't matter because he's always been a "phony from New Hampshire," is a Very Serious Candidate. He only wants to talk about Very Serious Things. No matter how...
Too bad there's no video

NFL Tried So Hard To Get That Video Of Ray Rice Beating His Lady, No Really (Not Really)

The NFL is still trying to convince us that The Big Manly Powers That Be never would have defended Baltimore Ravens sportsball star Ray Rice after he knocked his woman OUT COLD in an elevator, if only they could...
He hearts ladies OBVIOUSLY

Scott Brown Focused On ‘Issues That People Care About,’ Not Stupid Chick Stuff

Ladies man Scott Brown thinks women are terrific! He has "a house full of women," so he knows what's really important, and he cooked dinner that one time for his daughters too. Since giving out "hero awards" to all the...
Scott Brown (R-Insert State Here)

Scott Brown Knows More About Lady Stuff Than Dumb Lady He’s Running Against

Scott Brown, topless truck-driving Everyman who's trying to unseat Democratic Sen. Jeanne Shaheen because she's not as "virtually" from New Hampshire as he is, knows all about women. He has a wife -- who is a woman! -- and...
Exactly

Starbucks To Be Even More Triple Grande Nasty-atto Now

As if Starbucks hasn't already turned "coffee" -- that beverage you pour into a mug in the morning, maybe add milk, maybe add sugar -- into a joke so bad it hurts our feelings, now there's a new not-coffee...
Pretttttttty

NASA Found This Amazing Monster Black Hole Inside A Teeny Galaxy, No Big

We have SCIENCE! that is so cool, we're going to start with that today. (Look up. Look at the science. Isn't it pretty?) We also have a Very Interesting Theory, a super absurd conspiracy theory, the future of travel,...