Tag Archives: scooter libby

 

Scooter’s Going Up the River

The U.S. Court of Appeals in D.C. unanimously rejected Scooter Libby’s plea for bail instead of jail, and that means Al Qaeda’s Dick Cheney’s No. 2 man is off to prison unless Bush pardons the beloved neocon bureaucrat. Read more on Scooter’s Going Up the River…
 

Scooter Becomes Nation’s 2,200,000th Prisoner!

How awesome is America? We’re No. 1 when it comes to locking up our citizens. Take that, France! Once again, the United States prison population is the biggest of the industrialized world, while we’re also tops in the percentage of our people we keep behind bars. There are 2.2 million prisoners, with 1.6 million of those belonging to the state or federal prisons and the remainder apparently sharing small-town jail cells with Otis the Drunk. Read more on Scooter Becomes Nation’s 2,200,000th Prisoner!…
 

Scooter’s Hoosegow Bound

In a shocking travesty of justice, I. Scooter Libby is going directly to jail (in a month or so). Judge Reggie Walton declined to delay sentencing, seemingly because he just doesn’t like the dude. Read more on Scooter’s Hoosegow Bound…
 

SCREAMING SCOOTER LIBBY SENT BACK TO JAIL

WASHINGTON (AP) — Screaming and crying, Irve “Scooter” Libby was escorted out of a courtroom and back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that he must serve out his entire 30-month sentence behind bars rather than in his home. “It’s not right!” shouted the weeping Libby, who was convicted of four felonies in a reckless spy-outing case. “Mom!” he called out to Dick Cheney in the audience. Read more on SCREAMING SCOOTER LIBBY SENT BACK TO JAIL…
 

Clemency-Worthy

Word on the street is, Bush is blowing up at anyone who even asks him about pardoning Scooter Libby. Dude doesn’t want to talk about it right now, ok? Today’s Times piece on the subject gives us two anonymous sources who nicely illustrate why no one can get a straight answer — Team Cheney wants a pardon now, and the dudes who are trying to wrest control of the West Wing from that lunatic think it’d be idiotic. Read more on Clemency-Worthy…
 

30 Months for Scooter!

Scooter Libby is going to jail for 2-and-a-half years and getting fined $250,000. As Wonkette’s prediction was closest without going over, we will take home a lovely dinette set. In a minute we’ll find out if Scooter will get to go out on bail while appealing his conviction, because this trial will never, ever, ever end. Not until another five or six books from its participants are finally released, at least. Read more on 30 Months for Scooter!…
 

Children by the Millions Sing for Scooter Libby

The Smoking Gun has 30 pages of Scooter Libby mash notes from various Washington bigwigs, from Henry Kissinger to Peter Pace. It’s also something of a rogues gallery of shamed former Bushies who’ve seen better days (Rummy! Feith! Wolfowitz!). Perhaps oddly, there’s no message of support from Dick Cheney. We figured he’d be a shitty boss, but he won’t even write a recommendation? Read more on Children by the Millions Sing for Scooter Libby…
 

Scooter to be Sent Up Today

Scooter Libby’s being sentenced today for patriotic crimes of America-loving, and also not remembering anything he ever said or did while advising and doing the bidding of the most powerful people in the country. Back in March, our legal expert suggested a 24-month term, with Scooter out early for good behavior. Read more on Scooter to be Sent Up Today…
 

Gossip Roundup: Red-Hot Murphy-On-Murphy Action

* Heard on the Hill: Freshmen Reps. Christopher Murphy (D-Conn.) and Patrick Murphy (D-Pa.) subject to wacky Murphy confusion. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Valerie Plame “turn[ed] every head” at Teatro Goldoni. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Chris Dodd helps a reporter in labor into a business class seat on Amtrak … “Senior House Republican” hates current GOP presidential candidates. [Examiner] * Shenanigans: Dick Cheney makes thinly veiled plea for Libby pardon. [Politico] * The Sleuth: Republicans exploit America’s love of pandas and furries to smear Hillary. [WP] * Page Six: Mitt Romney wins endorsement from the owner of the Florida Panthers, must ride Zamboni in inaugural parade if elected. [NYP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Red-Hot Murphy-On-Murphy Action…
 

Gossip Roundup: First Daughter

* Heard on the Hill: Nancy Boyda uses vomiting to get closer to hunky firefighters … Chuck Grassley has boring accident. [Roll Call] * Yeas and Nays: Newt Gingrich shills for shitty Australian beer … Senators enjoy narco-terrorist bananas. [Examiner] * Shenanigans: Barbara Lee and Raul Grijalva harness the power of hip-hop … Terry McAuliffe has lots of frequent flier miles. [Politico] * The Sleuth: Planes safe from terrorism, as convicted felon Scooter Libby is sticking to Amtrak. [WP] * Page Six: Judith Miller spotted dining with the owner of the New York Daily News. [NYP] * Washington Whispers: Hillary Clinton considers asking daughter Chelsea to serve as First Lady … Secret Service excited about letting losing candidates fend for themselves. [USN&WR] Read more on Gossip Roundup: First Daughter…
 

Valerie Plame Testifies to Congress About How Cool It Would’ve Been if Her Scandal Had Gone Somewhere

Valerie Plame is testifying before congress right now, as the Democrats try to salvage some scandal from Patrick Fitzgerald’s now-concluded crusade of justice. Of course, Fitzgerald won’t be talking to congress about anything any time soon, and the oversight committee ain’t calling Bush, Cheney, anyone from State, Scooter, or any of the other people involved in the leak. Also Valerie’s not allowed to say anything substantial about her old CIA job. Her lawyer says Val’s “basically talking about how important national intelligence is and about how leaking is bad.” Read more on Valerie Plame Testifies to Congress About How Cool It Would’ve Been if Her Scandal Had Gone Somewhere…
 

Cartoon Violence Has Stared Into The Abyss

Each week, the Comics Curmudgeon helps explain Today’s Cartoons. Americans have a few simple needs when they turn to the editorial pages: They want to read editorials about local elections so that they know who to vote for, since Lord knows they haven’t been paying attention. They want to read Cal Thomas’ column so they know how to get their lives in order before the Rapture cometh. They want to read insane letters to the editor from old ladies upset about the filthy taint on the newspaper industry that is Ask Amy. And they want to see editorial cartoons in which clearly labeled objects and/or animals representing major concepts in the political realm interact with amusing caricatures of elected officials and those who aspire to be elected officials. Read more on Cartoon Violence Has Stared Into The Abyss…
 

Literary Libby: Remembering Scooter’s Bestiality Book

How’d that “Merry Fitzmas” work out, anyway? Oh, not so good? Oh well! Iran totally had it coming. Now that the great fake White House takedown is over and done — with nobody harmed save for Irve Lewis “Scooter” Libby Jr., who will soon be granted a full presidential pardon and a seat on the Halliburton board once Cheney “gets back to the office” — is there anything worth remembering from this long, dull puppet show? Yes, yes there is: Libby’s book about bears fucking little girls in cages. Read more on Literary Libby: Remembering Scooter’s Bestiality Book…
 

Cheney: ‘The Administration’s Enemy Within’

We’ll take any opportunity to use this TIME photo again, which shows Cheney and his lesser henchmen at the funeral of Don Corleone. Today’s excuse: TIME’s got a big cover feature blockbuster story about how Cheney runs the White House and is an out-of-control hater who kills by night. That was true in 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006, too — but the news hook is the Libby verdict. TIME calls it “the Cheney verdict,” which is a cute sort of fantasy. Anyway, guess what? Cheney’s Plame/Wilson/Uranium/Iraq War scheme was an “operation inside the White House that has done more harm than good.” You don’t say! Read more on Cheney: ‘The Administration’s Enemy Within’…
 

Novak: Ha ha ha ha ha, I Got Off Scot-Free

Today’s Robert Novak column, summarized: * Paragraph one: Haha stupid stupid jury. * Graf two: Haha stupid stupid Harry Reid. * Graf three: Haha stupid stupid liberals. * Graf four: Why don’t you go cry about it stupid liberals? * Graf five: I did this! Me! Robert Novak! * Graf six: No regrets! * Graf seven: I’m fucking invincible! * Graf eight: [Hoarse cackling] * Graf nine: Stop snitchin’. * Graf ten: Where is your god now? * Graf eleven: I am the lord of hellfire. Read more on Novak: Ha ha ha ha ha, I Got Off Scot-Free…
 

Scooter Libby: The Final Nail in Journalism’s Coffin

How did one jerkoff with a goofy nickname kill an American Institution? Well, waiting until it had been thoroughly debased didn’t hurt. And he had help: Tim Russert, Judy Miller, and a whole ragtag gang of media whores successfully defanged the first amendment with him. The New York Times today quotes about a dozen media experts and journalism professors saying variations on “the Libby trial is over — begun the clone wars have,” then trashing the journos who got us into this mess: Read more on Scooter Libby: The Final Nail in Journalism’s Coffin…
 

BREAKING: BUSH MAYBE WON’T PARDON LIBBY

No, it’s true, he said something noncommittal about it! “First of all, this was a lengthy trial on a serious matter, and a jury of his peers convicted him,” Mr. Bush said in a brief interview with CNN En Español. “And we’ve got to respect that conviction.” Read more on BREAKING: BUSH MAYBE WON’T PARDON LIBBY…
 

David Gergen Is Mentally Retarded

Ah, David Gergen: Man of Many Presidential Administrations, Consummate Washington Insider, Respected Nonpartisan Elder Statesman … and all this time, an actual retard. Here, the former senior adviser to every administration since Harding talks about the Scooter Libby verdict: Read more on David Gergen Is Mentally Retarded…
 

We Will Not Rest Until Scooter is Free

Do you enjoy winning things? Specifically things you can wear? Then head over to Al Kamen’s “In the Loop” column ASAP: he’s giving away t-shirts! All you have to do is guess the date when George W. Bush will pardon Irve “Scooter” Libby. It could happen anywhere between now and the end of the Bush presidency, basically. So send in your guesses by March 14! To him, not to us. We’re not giving you shit. Mostly because we’re betting Bush will surprise everyone and order Libby’s immedate public execution some time around the next November sweeps. Read more on We Will Not Rest Until Scooter is Free…
 

Libby Jury Made Up of Idiots

The more we learn about the Libby jury, the more we hope we’re never tried by a jury of his peers. From the post-it notes asking “what are the charges again?” to their stupid Valentine’s Day shirts (the one lady with enough sense to avoid that awkward mess was kicked off the jury), it’s been apparent for weeks that Scooter Libby’s fate would be decided by a white-collar DC Apple Dumpling Gang. Trying to convince us of the jury’s intelligence, Eric Lipton at the Times instead leaves us more confident than before of their idiocy. Relevant quotes and comments, after the jump. Read more on Libby Jury Made Up of Idiots…
 

Daily Briefing: Do Not Pass Go

* Jury sheds no tears for Scooter. [WP, NYT] * And if he pulls up next to President Bush at a red light, it won’t be to ask for Grey Poupon. [LAT] * Americans still asking Dick Cheney, “Where you at, big dawg?” [NYT] * Bob Dole’s long experience nipping and tucking combined with Donna Shalala’s ability to crush the spirits of low wage workers will make them the perfect Walter Reed study super-duo. [WP, NYT] * Fired US Attorneys should count their lucky stars the “threats” they faced weren’t knocked-out kneecaps or cement shoes. [WP, LAT] * Steny Hoyer so bored with Iraq funding debate he can’t think of anything but those delishus Dunkin Munchkins. [NYT] * Grassroots group pesters the FCC on transfer of power to “big media.” [WSJ] * If the Pentagon can’t sell airplanes to Iran then government employees can’t invest there either, it’s only fair. [USAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Do Not Pass Go…