For many years, our former vice president used his Wiccan mind-control powers on George W. Bush to make him enter wars and such. But at some point in the latter part of his presidency, Bush decided that he was “his own man,” which meant banishing Cheney to his Naval Observatory abbatoir, where the lonely hunchback danced around in suits of human skin and sang mournful ballads to Scooter Libby. MORE »

The clock is ticking! George Bush has just a few short hours to issue blanket retroactive/pre-emptive pardons for all of the criminal leather queens and torture fetishists in his administration. But what about the other crooks who would also like a pardon? MORE »

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan testified in Congress today about his terrible book, What Happened When I Did Yo Mama, and told them that President Bush may have vaguely possibly ordered former chief of staff Andy Card to order McClellan to deny I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby XVII’s involvement in leaking Valerie Plame’s name, to the press. At least there is “suspicion” Bush and Cheney were involved, somehow, McClellan thinks. Scott McClellan is very Important for this. [AP]

Ex-chief of staff to Dick Cheney, known perjurer and wuss jail-dodger I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby has been disbarred, according to a D.C. Court of Appeals ruling. The cut-and-running court explained: “When a member of the Bar is convicted of an offense involving moral turpitude, disbarment is mandatory.” Yes, dumb old Scooter was a textbook case of “moral turpitude,” that old scourge of an offense. Remember when he lied all those times? They were the most morally turpitudinous lies since the great Turpitude Outbreak of 1913. [WTOP]

Former White House aide Lewis “Scooter” Libby has dropped his his appeal in the CIA leak case, his attorney said Monday. “We remain firmly convinced of Mr. Libby’s innocence,” attorney Theodore Wells said. “However, the realities were, that after five years of government service by Mr. Libby and several years of defending against this case, the burden on Mr. Libby and his young family of continuing to pursue his complete vindication are too great to ask them to bear.” Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has said the leak investigation is now closed. Libby Drops Appeal Of Spy Leak Conviction [AP]

The Washington Post did two interesting things today: Columnist Ruth Marcus ripped Paul Krugman a new one, and a turkey was interviewed. We will focus on the latter. MORE »

Scott McClellan was the White House press secretary during a tough stretch. Let’s call it the “Golden Age of Lying,” as opposed to the “I Have Feeling Bush Is Lying” (2001-2003) and “Eh, Bush Is Lying Again, Big Whoop” (2005-present) eras that bookended his tenure. McClellan always seemed like a decent guy beneath that shiny veneer of geopolitical sin, and now he’s coming out to exonerate himself. His new memoir, WHAT HAPPENED: Inside the Bush White House and What’s Wrong With Washington, comes out soon, and within it he comments on his role — the administration’s bitch — in Plamegate. He names liar peoples’ names, too — five of them! You can probably guess at least three without thinking. MORE »

A brave patriot calls on President Bush to commute the 5-game suspension of fellow Texan Roger Clemens. [IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS... caught]

This week, you guys saw Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Chelsea Clinton, Tim Kaine, Rick Santorum, Barack Obama, Chris Dodd, Dave Chappelle, and Scooter Libby wandering around DC (and elsewhere). Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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This week, you numbskulls spotted Patrick McHenry, Scooter Libby, Tim Russert, Doc Rivers, Matthew Lesko, Tom Feeney, Dave Chappelle, John Bolton, and Condi Rice skulking around DC (and elsewhere). Your amazing stories, after the jump.

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This week, Joe and Hadassah Lieberman, Henry Rollins, Ian Svenonius, Paul Begala, Harriet Miers, Ralph Nader, Conrad Burns and Scooter Libby were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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