Tag: scientology

Five Reasons We Made Up Why Greta Van Susteren Just Peaced Out Of Fox News

Are any of these things true? WE DUNNO.

Trump Volunteers Must Sign Contract To Love Trump Forever

Trump volunteers are required to sign contract stating that they will never have anything bad to say about him for the rest of their lives.

Kirstie Alley: Donald Trump Will Clear Xenu’s Alien Thingies From Our Brainpans Maybe

Never-say-die Trump-humpers Breitbart "News" have some important politics facts to throw at ya, and that is that '90s sitcom star Kirstie Alley (who looks good!) likes some of the things that Donald Trump says. Is she voting for him?...
All the classiest offices have Kalashnikov lamps

Nevada Rep. Michele Fiore Investigates: Why Does Prozac Keep Mass-Shooting Everyone?

The Loopy Conspiracy Brigade has found a voice (again) in the person of Nevada State Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, who's calling for studies to determine whether psychiatric medications make people suddenly want to use their freedom-loving semi-automatic weapons to commit...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Why Did Jesus Send Us To Collections, Mommy?

Welcome back, sinners. It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin! We would like to take this time to remind our readers that unless you've paid your monthly $7.99 readers' fee, in addition to keeping up on your...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let’s Fill Our Veins With Air Bubbles And Try Not To Die

Well howdee, good readers! Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, the bestest little pseudoscience blog east of the Mississippi. We're presenting a concentrated, extra pulpy version of the Bulletin this week because your beloved Volpe is moving, which means...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Know Who Needs Religious Freedom? Anti-Vaxxers, That’s Who!

Friends, numbskulls, countrymen! Lend me your ears! Welcome to the latest edition of the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly dose of pseudoscientific tincture to wash down the week of cold, boring reality. Are you ready for this jelly? I...
Fresh out of butt jokes this week.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Don’t Get Your Dorito Spermicide Here!

Greetings and Salutations, friends! Do you have aches and pains what ail you? Are you afflicted by rheumatism, King’s evil, and the French pox? Do you seek the fantastical cures to these maladies and more, and maybe a little...
Les geckos spatiales sont morts. Vive les geckos spatiales!

John Oliver Terrifies Us About Student Debt. Also, Space Geckos: The Sad Goodbye (Video)

John Oliver's Last Week Tonight is back from vacation, and brings us this cheery back-to-school report about the growing problem of student loan debt. There's more student debt in U.S. America than credit card or car loan debt, and...

You Are Not Going To Believe This, But James O’Keefe’s Hollywood ‘Sting’ *May* Have Been Deceptively Edited

Hey, remember yesterday, when superjournalist James O'Keefe proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that hypocrite "environmentalist" Ed Begley Jr. makes love to greasy piles of Muslim oil money, and Mariel Hemingway's a giant whore? Well, not to pull...

Ben Shapiro Is Our Intellectual Better, And The Other Funniest Deleted Comments You’ll Read All Day

Greetings, mis pequeños Wonquitos! Hope you're up for another exciting trip to the Purgatory of Ideas that is the comments queue! Our first unsuccessfully attempted comment was a reaction from "Katherine," who was quite displeased with our failure to...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Index Of Idjits

Hi-diddly-ho, Wonkerinos, and welcome to another installment of Derp Roundup, the feature where we scrape up a bunch of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth a full post of their own. It's like...

Greta Van Susteren Asks Who’s Dumb, Fox News Viewers Say ‘You Are!’

Mush-mouthed Scientologist and forgotten Fox News anchor lady Greta Van Susteren is a petulant child who battles her own viewers on her parody blog, "Gretawire." A viewer named Brian wrote in and said, "You have a mind like a...

The Pentagon Sewer Monster Is Watching You, And Joe Wilson Is Hired As A Male Escort

Hot date! Southern gentleman and rhetorician REP. JOE WILSON (R-SC) has been given the honor of escorting German Chancellor-Frau ANGELA MERKEL to the 20th annual Berlin Wall Ball. But will Joe be ready for the big night? Where will...