Tag Archives: science

  How High's The water Mama?

Louisiana Accidentally Elects Republican Who Thinks Science Is Real

He looks serious.
Here is a surprise! It turns out that Garret Graves, the Republican who won Saturday’s election to fill the seat of Louisiana Congressman-and-now-Senator-elect Bill Cassidy, actually believes that science is real! He doesn’t deny global warming, and even helped develop plans for how Louisiana should deal with the effects of rising sea levels when he served as Gov. Bobby Jindal’s “coastal czar” — though maybe since czars are evil and bad, maybe he was more of a majordomo. He actually said that rising sea levels would be bad for Louisiana one time. Read more on Louisiana Accidentally Elects Republican Who Thinks Science Is Real…
  The Elephants Are Kindly But They're Dumb

Homeschool Mom Finds Liberal Bias At A Zoo. Also A Country Named ‘Zambibia.’

Megan Fox and reptilian overlord
Fresh off her brilliant destruction of evolution at Chicago’s Field Museum — accomplished by calling science “stupid” and noting that nobody saw what happened 450 million years ago, so shut up — homeschooling mom and amateur conservative skeptic Megan Fox has trained her keen analytical eye on the Brookfield Zoo. She conducts an “audit” — it sounds so professional! — of the exhibits to expose “the Left’s propaganda, lies, and evidence of the cult of Scientism at work.” We hate to disappoint you, kids, but her very limited success as a YouTube phenomenon has already spoiled Megan Fox. After the brilliant science-bashing idiocy of her visit to the Field Museum, her exposé of the zoo is a classic case of sophomore slump. The crazy eyes and manic stupidity are still there, but the magic? The magic is gone. Read more on Homeschool Mom Finds Liberal Bias At A Zoo. Also A Country Named ‘Zambibia.’…
  No vaccine For Stupid

Quack Anti-Vaxxers: Protect Your Kids With Sugar Instead

Also, many car accidents aren't fatal, so I don't wear seatbelts.
Just in case you needed a reason to slap your forehead and despair for humanity this morning, how about a recent report from CBC’s Marketplace program on anti-vaccine myths being fed to new parents in the Great White North, eh? Using hidden cameras, reporters visited several Canadian homeopaths who explained that vaccines might give your precious babby autism (do we actually need a link debunking that? Of course we do), while measles and other highly contagious diseases are No Big Deal. The CBC report cites estimates that as many as 40 percent of Canadian 7-year-olds are not up to date on their vaccines. Read more on Quack Anti-Vaxxers: Protect Your Kids With Sugar Instead…
  When Dunning Met Kruger

Homeschool Mom Disproves Evolution Because Science Museum Is Stupid

We know what we're talking about, right?
Meet Megan Fox, who is not the dopey actress from the Transformers movies, but is instead a dopey homeschooling mom who doesn’t believe that  organisms transform over time. She has her very own YouTube channel where she reviews children’s books and pursues a single-minded crusade against corruption on the public library board of Orland Park, Illinois. Read more on Homeschool Mom Disproves Evolution Because Science Museum Is Stupid…
  Science Is For Dorks

Mitch McConnell Is Not A Scientist, Except When He Is

SCIENCE, BETCH
Mitch McConnell is not a scientist — just ask him! The next Senate Majority Leader does not care much for science, with all its high-falutin’ book-larnin’ and its incomprehensible metric system and what have you. However, when it comes to the Keystone XL pipeline, McConnell actually is a scientist, or at least he’s decided that science is a useful cudgel when he can wield it in support of his preferred policies. Rebecca Leber at The New Republic tells us all about McConnell’s change of heart as regards the Mary Landrieu Career Preservation Act, also known as the upcoming Keystone XL bill. Read more on Mitch McConnell Is Not A Scientist, Except When He Is…
  The Origin Of Specious

Sundays With The Christianists: Charles Darwin Was A Very Bad Man, A Very Bad Man Indeed

We have no context for this image. But Charles Darwin WILL learn you on this.
If it’s Sunday, it must be time for another foray into the mind of Colorado radio man o’ God and homeschooling big wheel Kevin Swanson, the genius who warns that the Girl Scouts are communist lesbians whose cookies fund abortions and lesbianism, although we aren’t sure why lesbians are having all those abortions anyway. We’ve been delving into Swanson’s 2013 freshman term paper book Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, a sloppy little history of the ideas and thinkers who have been ruining Western Culture by making it what we think of as “Western Culture.” Last week, we learned that Karl Marx was a monster who starved his children (no he wasn’t) and who was driven by actual contact with demons. This week, it’s Charles Darwin’s turn to get Swansoned, although we suppose it’s possible that even after Apostate has completely dismantled him, Darwin may still be considered important, because people are just that stubborn and prone to evil. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Charles Darwin Was A Very Bad Man, A Very Bad Man Indeed…
  All This Fuss Over A Few Clumps Of Words

Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board

Grab yer razor blades and white-out!
So here’s one more bit of Election Nice Time: turns out that even in hyper-conservative Gilbert, Arizona, a bedroom community to the Phoenix metro horrorplex, it is in fact possible for a conservative school board to go to far. And it looks like the Gilbert School Board’s decision last week to razor out a page from an Honors Biology textbook in the high school — because it mentions the abortion pill — is what counts as too far: the good people of Gilbert elected two new members and reelected an anti-censorship member, replacing the Tea Party-leaning majority on the board with a new majority that is firmly against slicing out a page from a biology textbook out of fear that high schoolers will learn that abortion exists. There were other tensions between the board and the community, too, but the textbook censorship seems to have been the last straw. Read more on Arizona Voters Abort Biology-Textbook-Censoring School Board…
  Just Cut It Out Like...Like Something That Is Unlike An abortion

Arizona School Board Aborts Pages From Biology Textbook

Fine, whatever, this is Shreveport, Loiusiana, not Gilbert. Fine
Rest easy, innocent children of Gilbert, Arizona: You won’t have to worry about being corrupted by your biology textbooks anymore! The Gilbert School Board voted Tuesday to remove a page from the high school’s honors biology textbook, because they were worried it might be in violation of an Arizona law requiring that all instructional materials promote “childbirth or adoption” instead of abortion. Read more on Arizona School Board Aborts Pages From Biology Textbook…
  The Morons Are Due On Maple Street

Outbreak Of Stupid In America Goes Full Sh*tstorm

OK, so maybe 'what will the dummies think of next?' wasn't a good rhetorical question
Here’s where we are in America 2014: Scared shitless of a disease that isn’t actually harming us, but that is killing thousands in Africa. The best way to make America safe is to bring Ebola under control in Africa, but now that we’re determined to ignore people who understand the disease — or paint them as part of a conspiracy — we may actually be entering some weird Twilight Zone scenario where our panic to “protect” ourselves actually makes matters far worse. Read more on Outbreak Of Stupid In America Goes Full Sh*tstorm…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow Does Science To Rightwing Myths About IUDs (Video)

O'Douls? Possibly the cruellest cut of the whole bit.
Rachel Maddow took a trip to the Man Cave (or the green screen version of one) Wednesday night to debunk a deeply held article of faith about one form of birth control that could be outlawed if Colorado passes its third try at a “personhood amendment.” Abortion opponents also want to ban a whole bunch of contraceptives, and they say that intrauterine devices(IUDs) have to go because they’re abortifacients. They aren’t, but the notion is also near and dear to the heart of Colorado Republican gubernatorial candidate Bob Beauprez. So why the trip to the mancave? Turns out, guys, the IUD is just hell on sperms, as a doctor lady from the University of Colorado Hospital explains in this video. So no, a lady with an IUD in her innards is not a walking abortionplex. Read more on Rachel Maddow Does Science To Rightwing Myths About IUDs (Video)…
  Climate Of Distrust

Texas Texbooks Gonna Jesus Away All The Global Warming

Actual image from a fundie website
We told you a while back about some of the fun distortions of American history that have made it into textbooks written to Texas’s terrible history standards, but history isn’t the only subject that goes off into rightwing fantasyland in Texas textbooks. The Washington Post brings us this review by Josh Rosenau, from the National Center for Science Education, who looks at how some of the books submitted for the Texas Board of Education’s approval cover climate change. You may be astonished to learn that they aren’t always the most accurate, science-wise! (Which is to say if you’re actually astonished, you know nothing about Texas, or politics.) Read more on Texas Texbooks Gonna Jesus Away All The Global Warming…
  clipbait

This Neato Video On Evolution Won’t Convince Creationists Of Anything

Those Neanderthal ponies are scary. The world of 1983 was primitive and brutal.
Here’s a pretty nifty science video from Interwebs science project Stated Clearly, a project aimed at making science stuff more easily accessible. We ran across it over at RawStory, where Arturo Garcia, ever the optimist, says that this brief look at the evidence for evolution “should come in handy for anyone debating the issue with creationists.” Haha, that is a nice dream you have, and we were young and hopeful once, too! Garcia is right about one thing — you may indeed be glad to be armed with facts, which is always a good thing; just don’t have any illusion that mere scientific reality will convince a creationist of anything. Read more on This Neato Video On Evolution Won’t Convince Creationists Of Anything…
  Adding Fabrics And Baking Would Not Help

‘Science’ Center Teaches Boys Rocketry, Girls Makeup. Internet Certain To Be Pleased. (Updated)

UPDATE: Carnegie Science Center has responded; see end of post. You know what kids love? Kids love science! Science is exciting, and it builds critical thinking skills, and it’s actually more than just a little bit fun if you have an engaging teacher and cool things to do! And if you’re a girl in Pittsburgh, you can actually get your Girl Scouts science badge at the one solitary science workshop that the Carnegie Science Center offers, which is available on just one day, which… hey, what’s the freaking deal here, Carnegie Science Center? Looks like you have loads of science workshops for Boy Scouts at different levels of scouting, and one lousy workshop for girls? Read more on ‘Science’ Center Teaches Boys Rocketry, Girls Makeup. Internet Certain To Be Pleased. (Updated)…
  Uterine Clown Car Survivor Speaks Out

Duggars Did A Pretty Good Job Edumacatin’ Their Womb-Fruits, All Right

Just as Darwin Demanded
Reality Teevee show person Jessa Duggar went to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington DC, and came away believing that Charles Darwin led directly to the Nazis’ attempted extermination of European Jewry, which suggests that the museum’s docents really need to up their game. Ms. Duggar, 21, explained on Instagram the profound anti-science message that she derived from the historical exhibits: Read more on Duggars Did A Pretty Good Job Edumacatin’ Their Womb-Fruits, All Right…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart To House Science Committee: ‘Are You F-cking Kidding Me?!?!?’ (Video)

The stupid is on fire in here
Jon Stewart took a moment to talk about the weekend’s climate change march in New York, and wondered why it’s even necessary to have a march about global warming — after all, isn’t the climate science settled? Ah, but then he remembered: there’s this thing called the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology, which is largely made up of Republicans who think that science is whatever Koch Industries says it is. Stewart looked at last week’s hearing on the Obama administration’s new carbon emissions rules, which as we’ve already noted included Indiana congressgoober Larry Bucshon explaining he doesn’t believe scientists, since all their big-money research depends on finding evidence of global warming. Read more on Jon Stewart To House Science Committee: ‘Are You F-cking Kidding Me?!?!?’ (Video)…
  Here have some news n stuff

Your Penis Evolved To Pleasure The Females. It’s Science.

Oh, just EVERYTHING
We have f-bombs, stolen cars, everlasting love, and not just SCIENCE!, but sexytime SCIENCE! Smart vaginas? Penis bones? Oh yeah, you know you want to learn about that. So get out of bed, sleepyhead, and pour yourself a cuppa, because do we ever have some news you can maybe use for you? Yes. Yes we do. Read more on Your Penis Evolved To Pleasure The Females. It’s Science….
  You Say "Te Deum" We Say "Tedium"

Catholic Mommy Bloggers Explain Why They Don’t Like Or Understand Birth Control

Another good reason to use birth control
A couple weeks back, Buzzfeed posted photos of its employees explaining why they used birth control. It’s a lot of the old, tired “I deserve a say in what happens to my body and my life,” and “I take birth control for my endometriosis” blah-blah-blah we’ve come to expect from the man-hatin’ pro-abortion left. Well, the mommy bloggers at Catholic Sistas weren’t going to take this Buzzfeed thing lying down, if you catch our drift, and we think you do. They posted their own “Why I Don’t Use Birth Control” piece, and it is just a barrel full of monkeys. Read more on Catholic Mommy Bloggers Explain Why They Don’t Like Or Understand Birth Control…
  everyone poops

Excellent News! Whale Poop Could Save Us All From Global Warming, Maybe

Everyone knows how prophetic the popular “The Star Track” television show was: Nowadays you got your “communicators” — cell phones — and your “PADDs” — tablet computers — and your “Ferengis” — the Koch Brothers. In yet another instance of Star Trek getting The Future absolutely right, it turns out that whales may actually save the Earth, which was the plot of Star Trek IV: The One Before Some Idiot Let Shatner Direct. Only it’s not because they can communicate with V’Ger, it’s because a restoration of whales to their former population levels would mean a whole lot of whale poop. And all that whale poop could help offset humanity’s successful efforts to crap on the entire planet. Read more on Excellent News! Whale Poop Could Save Us All From Global Warming, Maybe…
  ghost writers in the sky

Hero Arizona State Senator Schedules Public Meeting On Chemtrails, Completely Ignoring Chupacabra Threat

When he was a pimply high school freshman, Yr. Doktor Zoom resided for a while in Lake Havasu City, that blighted hellscape where the London Bridge ended up as a tourist attraction. This was in the mid-1970s, before the place became a Spring Break Drunkenness destination for a few MTV-driven years. And one thing that he noticed back then was that at just about any time of the day, he could look up and see an airliner contrail stretching across the sky, since the city is smack dab under the route jets fly from Los Angeles to Eastern destinations. Strangely, it never once occurred to the 14-year-old Zoom, while hiding from the 110 degree heat, reading Frank Herbert’s Dune and drinking instant iced tea (Herbert’s spice will always smell like powdered Lipton’s with lemon), to assume that those transcontinental flights were actually spraying dangerous chemicals that were modifying the weather, controlling our minds, and sapping and impurifying our precious bodily fluids. Apparently, that is a concern for a sizeable number of Lake Havasu City residents, and they have prevailed on state Sen. Kelli Ward to hold a public meeting this Wednesday to address their concerns about a thing that does not actually exist: Chemtrails. Ward hopes that a bit of information from the Arizona Department of Environmental Quality (ADEQ) will help answer their very serious concerns, which suggests that she really has very little experience with chemtrails people. We wish her luck! Read more on Hero Arizona State Senator Schedules Public Meeting On Chemtrails, Completely Ignoring Chupacabra Threat…
  that ain't no way to treat a low pressure system

Science Spotlight: Maybe If They Named The Lady Hurricanes ‘Lorena’

Researchers at the University of Illinois released a study that suggests that people are just plain sexist when it comes to hurricanes: Hurricanes with feminine names may kill three times as many victims because people do not perceive them as being as threatening as storms named after men, scientists said Monday […] “A hurricane with a relatively masculine name is estimated to cause 15.15 deaths, whereas a hurricane with a relatively feminine name is estimated to cause 41.84 deaths,” said the study. “In other words, our model suggests that changing a severe hurricane’s name from Charley to Eloise could nearly triple its death toll.” Isn’t science neat? Maybe? Read more on Science Spotlight: Maybe If They Named The Lady Hurricanes ‘Lorena’…
  ddteed off

Google Honored A Known Environmentalist, And Twitchy Will Not Shut Up About It

Google has really angered the Wingnuttospere this week. First off, on Monday, the search engine failed to put up a special doodle for Memorial Day, because Google Hates America — actually, the page did mark the day with an American flag and yellow ribbon icon, but they were too small and didn’t go up at midnight like they should have, but later in the day.* Then Tuesday, Google drew the wrath of all nine fulltime staffers of Twitchy by honoring Rachel Carson on what would have been her 107th birthday. This tribute to a known environmentalist sparked a Twitch-Fit, because of course by writing Silent Spring, a book that eventually led to the banning of DDT, Rachel Carson personally murdered millions: Read more on Google Honored A Known Environmentalist, And Twitchy Will Not Shut Up About It…
  schism all over their face

Big Creationist Fight Breaks Out At Christian College; Somebody’s Doing Heresy!

You guys all remember the Scopes Monkey Trial, in which Spencer Tracy and Frederic March duked it out over whether a schoolteacher in Dayton, Tennessee (a surprisingly young Dick York), should be fined for violating Tennessee’s law against teaching evolution, and then Gene Kelly got famous writing about it for the Baltimore papers? One thing a lot of people forget about the Scopes Trial is that John Scopes actually lost — he was found guilty. We can recommend a good book on it: Edward Larson’s Summer For The Gods. In the long haul, evolution “won,” having the advantage of being scientific reality. And the victorious lawyer for the prosecution, William Jennings Bryan, died just five days after winning; he was memorialized in Dayton with the 1930 founding of Bryan College, a fundamentalist Christian school that does not teach evolution. And that’s where the distant evolutionary descendants of velociraptors have come home to roost: The college is now having a big ol’ creationism fight of its own. Let’s pop up some popcorn (the result of both natural and artificial selection) and enjoy the show. Read more on Big Creationist Fight Breaks Out At Christian College; Somebody’s Doing Heresy!…