Tag Archives: science

  Global Worming

Jeb Bush: People Need To Stop Being So Uppity About Climate Science

Honestly, what do we know, even?
Jeb Bush has had just about enough of these people who think that science actually proves anything, and he’s not going to let Barack Obama get away with arrogantly telling people that climate change is real, or that we know why it’s happening. So Wednesday, after the President devoted much of his commencement address at the Coast Guard Academy to discussing the national security implications of climate change, Bush just couldn’t hold his tongue anymore, and not just because he had slobber all over his fingers again. Climate change may be real, Bush said, but let’s not get carried away and treat it like a significant priority or anything. Read more on Jeb Bush: People Need To Stop Being So Uppity About Climate Science…
  Here have some news n stuff

Fox News Affiliate Will Protect You From Picasso’s Fancy Sex Nipples

Sorry you just broke your monitor because this picture gave you such a boner.
Don’t you hate it when you’re watching the evening news with your mom and they say “BREAKING!” and it’s a story about how a Picasso sold for $179M at Christie’s auction, so you freak out because you just know they’re going to show art nipples on teevee, and now you have a boner in front of your mom? Well, Fox 5 in New York decided to blur them out so that won’t happen: Read more on Fox News Affiliate Will Protect You From Picasso’s Fancy Sex Nipples…
  Nobody Expects The Science Inquisition!

Louisiana Senator Is Not Cool With Scientists Murdering All The Creationists Dead

It’s spring, so it’s time for the Louisiana state legislature’s annual competition for who can come up with the stupidest rationale to keep the awful “Louisiana Science Education Act” (LSEA), an anti-evolution law that’s been in place since 2008. This year’s winner is state Sen. Elbert Guillory (R-Opelousas Doopity Doo), who reminded his colleagues of the horrors of scientific consensus, like back in olden times when scientists were so sure the Earth was flat that they burned nonbelievers at the stake. Nobody expects the Science Inquisition! Read more on Louisiana Senator Is Not Cool With Scientists Murdering All The Creationists Dead…
  That There's Some Bullshit

Wyoming Won’t Have You Going Around Taking Pictures Of Their Cow Sh*t Infested E. Coli Rivers

OK, sure, this photo is from New Jersey. But it's cows in a stream. There's your disclaimer. Freakin' PolitiFact.
Congratulations, Wyoming! You just passed what may be the dumbest anti-science law of the year, and that’s saying something, just considering that Texas and Florida are still states (at least until Texas is neutralized by Jade Helm). Just how odious is Wyoming’s new dumb law? Basically, it makes it illegal for any private citizen to collect water samples (or take photographs) on any “open land” for the nefarious purpose of giving data to a state or federal regulatory agency. Excuse us, please, but WUT? Read more on Wyoming Won’t Have You Going Around Taking Pictures Of Their Cow Sh*t Infested E. Coli Rivers…
  Jesus Built My Critical Thinking

Alabama Rep. Saves Schoolkids From Learning They Are Disgusting Monkeys

'Maybe God made a monkey that doesn't like to think it's a monkey, and lies a lot.' -- Joe Rogan
This is exciting! Alabama state Rep. Mack “Not a Porn Name” Butler has introduced a bill that will encourage students to “think critically” about science by allowing teachers greater latitude to add stuff to science classes that isn’t so much science as not science, so everyone can learn more better! As Butler explains on his highly amusing Facebook page, it’s all about freedom and openness, and learning that we didn’t come from monkeys! Read more on Alabama Rep. Saves Schoolkids From Learning They Are Disgusting Monkeys…
  Have A Reality? This Guy Will Deny It!

Holocaust-Denying Dude Has GREAT Idea: ‘Nuremberg Trials’ For Climate Scientists!

And he was such a nice young man
So here’s something you don’t see every day: A guy who says the Holocaust never happened — or was, you know, “greatly exaggerated” — is now calling for “Nuremberg Trial nastiness” for climate scientists and other criminals who have wrecked the economy and freedom. Let’s Wonksplore what may be the dumbest rightwing stupidity we’ve read all week — although we do need to caution that Erik Rush’s column at WND doesn’t come out until Thursdays. Read more on Holocaust-Denying Dude Has GREAT Idea: ‘Nuremberg Trials’ For Climate Scientists!…
  Better Living Through Ignorance

House GOP Hearing On Science Uncontaminated By Any Scientists

Please adjust your speaker settings if your computer can't handle the Dolby
In the great Republican tradition of white people telling black people what racism is, or congressional committees run by men setting policies on women’s health, the Natural Resources Committee held a very important hearing on the politicization of science last week. To keep the testimony untainted by bias, subcommittee chair Rep. Louie Gohmert didn’t invite any actual scientists to testify. It was an inspiring reminder that the House Science Committee doesn’t have a monopoly on ruining science. Read more on House GOP Hearing On Science Uncontaminated By Any Scientists…
  It happens to all guys seriously

Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement

Ben Carson is only doing this because people are BEGGING him to.
Dr. Ben Carson, who is very good at being a neurosurgeon but doesn’t seem to have other strengths, officially announces his candidacy to lose to Hillary Clinton in Detroit today, but whoops, guess he couldn’t keep the “secret” any longer, because he “leaked” the news to WHAM ABC 13 in Rochester on Sunday. In the interview, Carson sleepily says that he is “willing to be part of [that] equation,” presumably the equation required to save America from all the economic growth and healthcare wrought by evil Obama’s reign of terror. Therefore he will run for president! Hurray, is 2016 over yet? Read more on Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement…
  Faster Pussycat Kill Kill

The Snake Oil Bulletin: No, Your Cat Is Not Vegan. You Are An Idiot Who Is Killing Your Cat.

Not related to the story but CUTE.
Welcome back, you unwashed masses! It’s time for your weekly dose of pseudoscience and phooey we like to call the Snake Oil Bulletin. Our main story today involves the delightful murderous fluff muffin you see above, let’s meet that kitty cat! Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: No, Your Cat Is Not Vegan. You Are An Idiot Who Is Killing Your Cat….
  Sexism? Where?

Lady Scientists’ Study Would Have Been Better If A Boy Wrote It, According To Science

We can already tell this experiment will fail!
Here is some proof that sexism is still a thing, in case you had forgotten all about it. Two lady biologists submitted a paper for peer review, which is that thing scientists do to make sure they’ve done their science good. The reviewer had but one critique: this paper would be a hell of a lot better if some dudes did it. That was really the only criticism! University of Sussex researcher Fiona Ingleby was very surprised to hear this, and posted it all over Twitter, LIKE LADIES DO: Read more on Lady Scientists’ Study Would Have Been Better If A Boy Wrote It, According To Science…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
Oh, Wonkers, we have some beautiful deletia for you this week! Looks to us like some people have really been working overtime in the Derp Mines to bring us this fine assortment of stupidity. For starters, we have this thought-provoking bit of turnabout from “John Smith” (Real name: “Bob Johnson”), who understands that Bobby Jindal just wants to protect Liberty from the homos. Just think about this — would you libs really be so hot on forcing Christians to provide services to gay people if it also meant that gay people would have to serve people with whom they have traditionally been at Culture War? Read more on Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!…
  Let's Go Kill Some Scientists

Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?

Works for media literacy too.
WordNetDaily columnist Erik “The Other Rush” Rush — he really calls himself that — would like to share with you some Thoughts About Science, which mostly boil down to: science is nice when it gives us flatscreen TVs and atomic bombs, but we’d better not trust the “scientific community” because it’s full of atheists and socialists who are trying to set themselves up as some kinds of authorities on stuff that they have no business talking about, like the age of the Earth, how life came to be on Earth and whether it’s getting hotter, none of which they really know a damn thing about. And by the end of his meditations on science, he actually appears to say it would be OK to kill a few scientists, if that’s what’s necessary to preserve Liberty. Read more on Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?…
  Look! More Science To Ignore!

No, Vaccines Are Not ‘Raping’ Your Children, Says Science

Or not.
Rejoice! A new study shows that even among children who are at a higher risk for autism, getting vaccinated against childhood illnesses isn’t linked to autism. In the face of clear scientific evidence like that, you’ve pretty much got to expect that the anti-vaxxers will now just say, “Oh, man, were we ever wrong!” and quietly go away, possibly borne on a magic carpet carried by flying pigs. Read more on No, Vaccines Are Not ‘Raping’ Your Children, Says Science…
  Do We Really Need All This Knowledge?

House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It

Who wouldn't like a nice warm planet?
Good news, America! The House Science Committee is going to help solve global warming and other problems by cutting the funding to study them! If you don’t have a bunch of scientists getting rich off climate studies, there won’t be a lot of scary data to worry about, and America will be richer and happier. Strangely, they haven’t proposed curing cancer by this simple expedient…yet. Read more on House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It…
  but did he summon Beetlejuice?

Florida Appointee Utters ‘Climate Change’ Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself

Did somebody say my name???
Florida, soon to be known as the “Look, Mom, I’m In The Ocean!” state, due to the fact that the liberal conspiracy of “climate change” is fixin’ to sink it real good, has been in the news lately, over the fact that you may or may not be allowed to utter the words “climate change,” if you work for Florida’s Department Of Environmental Protection (DEP). It’s not a written policy, of course — it’s just more UNDERSTOOD that, if you want to remain in good standing with your Koch Brothers-owned state gubmint, you’d better be pretty careful about saying … THOSE WORDS. Democratic state senators have been enjoying bullying Gov. Rick Scott’s various minions, trying to set evil liberal traps that force them to say the bad words, which describe something that 97% of climate scientists agree is a real, true thing. Read more on Florida Appointee Utters ‘Climate Change’ Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself…
  A Pertussive Argument For Vaccinating

It Takes 7 Kids With Whooping Cough To Change 1 Anti-Vaxxer Mom’s Mind

Remember to come back to the kitten if you listen to the video
Seven. The answer is “Seven.” That’s how many of a Canadian mom’s children (out of seven) had to get whooping cough to persuade her that her previous opposition to vaccines was just a wee bit wrong-headed. The good news: All seven responded well to treatment and are now out of isolation. All it took to completely put Tara Hills’s anti-vax beliefs behind her was more than a week of home quarantine with seven children — the youngest just 10 months old — and their dry hacking coughs, sometimes so violent the kids vomited. Let’s hope that just maybe some others may learn from what her family went through, maybe? Read more on It Takes 7 Kids With Whooping Cough To Change 1 Anti-Vaxxer Mom’s Mind…
  No not his Catholic church his other church

Surprise! Marco Rubio’s Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp

Marco Rubio may very well believe this is happening right now, in the sky.
Marco Rubio has two churches in Miami. One, as you might imagine, is the Catholic kind, because the Cuban-American Rubio is Catholic. The other one is a ginormous Baptist affair, featuring demon-wrasslin’, homo-hatin,’ and a sincerely held religious belief that Jesus rode a dinosaur. But how can a person be both Catholic and Baptist at the same time? Let’s Wonksplore! Read more on Surprise! Marco Rubio’s Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp…
  The answer is 4.5 billion years

How Old Is The Earth? Golly Gee, Republicans Running For President *Just Don’t Know*!

Barely Legal?
How old is the Earth? The Earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old. How do we know that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old? Magic Science. tl;dr: A bunch of people who know a lot of stuff did all these studies, and reviewed the evidence, and did some other sciencey things, and then they came to this broad consensus, 4.5 billion years. Read more on How Old Is The Earth? Golly Gee, Republicans Running For President *Just Don’t Know*!…
  It's like he was born with a soul or something

Credit Card CEO Doesn’t Want Employees To Starve, Will Be Kicked Out Of Capitalism Now

Dan Price can, um,
Heartwarming stories involving big financial services CEOs? They exist, apparently! Meet Dan Price, the CEO of Gravity Payments, a credit card processing company based in Seattle. According to the New York Times, Price had a novel idea, after hearing years and years of stories about how people, even those making $40K per year — which many would consider pretty decent — could have their lives thrown into financial chaos by simple things like medical bills or an asshole landlords raising the rent. Read more on Credit Card CEO Doesn’t Want Employees To Starve, Will Be Kicked Out Of Capitalism Now…
  Sucks To Your Ass-Mar

Obama Says Climate Change Causes Asthma; Republicans Immediately Stop Breathing To Show Him Who’s Boss

Oh, look at him acting like he Knows Things
Despite the fact that only 97% of climate scientists are convinced that global warming is real, President Barack Obama nonetheless met with medical and scientific experts Tuesday for a roundtable discussion of the public health impacts of climate change. You’d almost think that there’s a problem or something! Read more on Obama Says Climate Change Causes Asthma; Republicans Immediately Stop Breathing To Show Him Who’s Boss…
  It's Getting Hot In Herre

Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?

Gina McCarthy: Suspiciously cozy with Big Science
Gosh, this ought to go well: Some of the biggest climate deniers in the Senate want the EPA to school them on how climate modeling works. No doubt this is so they can gain a greater appreciation of just how complex science is, so they can marvel at how great our understanding of the natural world is. That, or they’re looking for stuff they can cherry-pick out of context to claim that global warming is a hoax, and we should start burning all the coal we can dig up before Jesus comes back. Read more on Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?…
  Nowhere to run nowhere to hide

Get To Baby-Making, Duggars! Muslims To Outnumber You In Only 55 Years!

Hold on tight, Patriotic American Christians, for a calamity approacheth! The Pew Research Center has released a study that finds, if things keep going the way they are, there will be more Muslims than Christians in the world in 2070. You will be glad to know the Drudge Report is not freaking out over this or anything, naaaaah, they’re just posting a link to the story at the very top of their page, illustrated with a picture of a concerned little white girl who might be about to cry: Read more on Get To Baby-Making, Duggars! Muslims To Outnumber You In Only 55 Years!…