science
How are things? Bad? Oh. Well, there’s always “Angry Birds” or whatever. Oxycontin. And the fancy scientist people have moved the “symbolic” Doomsday Clock another minute closer to Midnight. This does not mean “another minute closer to Santa’s visit,” or whatever the popular superstitions are these days. It means the world will come to an [...]
Thought you were “doing the right thing” by drinking diet soda instead of the usual corn-syrup sludge that makes up the primary source of calories for Americans? Well, sorry, you are still going to become obese and die of diabetes and cancer, soon. Diet soda — and god only knows what is actually in Diet [...]
Here’s an important news update for all the Alan Keyes and Clarence Thomas types who for some reason believe that acting like super-crazy white wingnut Republicans will magically win over white racists: Doesn’t work, never has, never will. White racists despise black people no matter what — and you’ll find the most unrepentant white racists [...]
A federal appeals court on Friday overturned a trial judge’s preliminary injunction that blocked government funding of research involving human embryonic stem cells, a significant legal victory for the Obama administration. The U.S Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, in a 2-1 ruling, said the National Institutes of Health reasonably concluded that [...]
In a study commissioned by Colin Firth “while serving as a guest host of the BBC Radio 4′s Today program in London last year,” so you know it’s good, British researchers found people who describe themselves as liberal have “a larger anterior cingulate cortex–a gray matter of the brain associated with understanding complexity,” whereas people [...]
The Hill today has a detailed story on a Cornell University report that says natural-gas “fracking,” endorsed by Obama, among others, is pretty terrible for the environment. What? In The Hill? Oh, the coal lobby must have bought a bigger ad in their paper than the natural-gas lobby. “The [greenhouse gas] footprint for shale gas [...]
What makes people “liberal,” anyway? According to liberal university research scientists at liberal universities somewhere, being liberal means that you are an awesome person with many sexy friends. This is why you are so cool! Also, you probably had a lot of oral/anal with your other liberal friends at college, which is proof of the [...]
Using a GPS tracking device as a “pen,” Nick Newcomen drove 12,328 miles around 30 states to draw the message “Read Ayn Rand” on America, in honor of the Objectivist writer made famous by Wonkette cartoonist Benjamin Frisch. According to the Wired science blog, you can only see the message if you use Google Earth. [...]
By all rights Sharron Angle’s Twitter feed ought to be a nonstop stream of hilarity, full of death threats and theological lunacy and pleas for friendship, but in practice whichever intern has been put in charge of it is heroically clinging to sanity, mostly just posting links to press releases and Angle’s occasional appearances before [...]
NO SRSLY LET THE MARKETS SELF-REGULATE! “Neanderthals mated with some modern humans after all and left their imprint in the human genome, a team of biologists has reported in the first detailed analysis of the Neanderthal genetic sequence.” This must be what’s spurring the Senate to make some good votes on financial reform amendments right [...]
Did any of you evil men impregnate a lady on election night? Then you probably voted for Barack Obama! (It’s a real “win-win” situation, too, because this would mean you, the liberal, were able to make the lady get an abortion — and not take care of some baby!)
GOOD THING BARACK OBAMA DID NOT ALSO ASK THAT AMERICA RECEIVE THIS TOO: Hey mazel tov to the three Americans who have WON the Nobel Prize in Medicine and therefore the morning. It is also the first time that two lady scientists have shared the prize. “The three scientists won the prize for experiments that [...]
Back in spring, Obama set up a special advisory science panel of scientists to find out exactly how cool it would be for NASA to send astronauts into space, like to Mars maybe. The panel’s findings indicate that this would be “pretty fucking cool,” or “quite brilliant, really” in metric units. Fantastiche! NASA will now [...]
What does an ancient sea monster do when it’s finally free to shuffle out of its human skin-bag and return to the frigid bosom of the deep? Does it invade the corpse of a new host called “Liz Cheney,” or does it opt for more leisure time? YouTube has the answer.
