Tag: schools

How Are Americans Expressing Their Economic Anxiety Today?

It's morning in America, so you can read the racist graffiti more clearly.

How To Talk To Your Kids About Trump

To prepare them for a Trump presidency, teachers should tell kids crying is weak. SAD.
If price gouging is wrong, she don't wanna be right

Joe Manchin’s Daughter Made SO MUCH MONEY Quintupling Price Of EpiPens! Good Job, Her!

Pharmaceutical company CEO Heather Bresch just feels awful about having to make all this extra money from a lifesaving medication that she keeps raising prices on.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 2, 2016

You get in here and read your newz breif, RIGHT NOW!

NC School District To Let Kids Pepper Spray Scary Trans Students In The Potty, Why Not?

This is for sure a thing that will turn out well for everyone involved.
E Plebnista!

Ted Cruz Wishes Public Schools Would Stop Being So Communist

Ted Cruz has a sad about the sorry state of education in these once-great United States of America, and it is that the schools are manufacturing Bolsheviks. The problem, as stated succinctly by Cruz ally and rightwing radio host...
Guys, shut up, we know this did not happen in the Dead Poets Society movie film.

Looks Like Things Got Pretty Rapey At Tucker Carlson’s Nice Christian Prep School

Hey Wonkerinos, sorry to be bringing you all these stories about rape and sexual abuse on an otherwise pleasant Thursday, but here's a thing: Rhode Island State Police are investigating allegations of sexual abuse of more than two dozen students...
Connect the dots, sheeple!

2015: The Year Anti-Vaxxers Made Measles The New Black

In 2015, science remained a suspicious activity many conservative politicians thought was probably all a leftist plot, with only one Republican presidential candidate willing to say that climate change is real and human-caused. And that guy never had a...
Check THIS out, kids!

Cure Your Crotch Weasels The Christian Way: Put A Ring On It!

There comes a time in every Christian youngster's life when he or she has a burning case of the crotch weasels and doesn't know what to do. Go to the doctor? Meh, that's for liberals. Go to church? Now you're...
See? Grammar not a problem.

Texas Couple Fights To Keep Kids Good And Stupid, The Way Jesus Likes ‘Em

There are no times tables at the Second Coming, that's what yr Wonkette always says. And apparently Michael and Laura McIntyre of El Paso agree with us, as they are suing the state of Texas for their God-given right...
Probably just peed next to a transgender.

Wisconsin Will Heal Pain And Suffering Caused By Transgenders Doing Potty

In Tuesday night's Democratic debate, candidates were asked what the greatest problem facing our nation is, and they said things like "Ay-Rabs" and "nuculars" and "global warming, WHEEEE!" But they are all wrong. As all good Christian Americans know,...

George W. Bush In New Orleans: Heckuva Job, Myself!

    George W. Bush returned to the scene of the crime Friday, speaking briefly at a high school that had been flooded during Hurricane Katrina 10 years ago. You will be astonished that his remarks were utterly devoid of self-reflection or...
Are your brains melting yet, Mommy? Are they? Now, about that pony...

California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers’ Cold, Dumb Hands

Hey, how about some Science Nice Time? California Gov. Jerry Brown signed the state's new vaccine requirement into law today, over the cries of "Government Oppression!" and "Big Pharma! Big Pharma! Big Pharma!" from anti-vaxxers. The bill eliminates exemptions...
Mommy is here to teach you about mountains, Bristol.

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Is All Het Up About The Spanishes

The Sarah Palin Channel has released three videos in the last week and a half, and none of them is interesting enough to warrant its own blog post. There's one on a Social Security Disability "snafu," one that is...
Thumbs up for education!

Nice Time: Stephen Colbert Saves South Carolina Schools From Jerks Who Run South Carolina

Is our South Carolina children learning? Stephen Colbert, South Carolina native, decided to do his part to make sure that "YES THEY IS," by announcing that he, along with some of his buddy-pals from this big money foundation, would be chipping...

Kansas Named Florida / Arizona / Mississippi Of 2014, Pawns Trophy For Gas Money Home

Picking Wonkette's State of the Year was no easy feat this time around, but Kansas pulled away from the pack with its flair for the dramatic. For a few heady months of 2014, Kansas shocked the country by flirting with electing...