school shooting

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out and sucker-punched the GOP right in the nards with like a million awesome words at the […]

OMG you guys! Did you hear the scandalous truth about how the Lamestream Media is completely covering up the fact that Karl Pierson, the boy who shot two students last Friday before killing himself, was a confirmed socialist? Thankfully, a whole bunch of wingnut blogs have the truth! Tell us all about it, Stupidest Man […]

Here’s an actual hero: Antoinette Tuff, a clerk at Ronald E. McNair Discovery Learning Academy in Decatur, Georgia, who talked Michael Brandon Hill into laying down his semiautomatic rifle and abandoning his plan to commit suicide by cop yesterday. Hill had come to the school expecting to shoot up the school and then to die in a […]

We can all learn from Steven Seagal, American hero, who just keeps giving and giving and giving and then when you think he can’t give any more, BOOM, there he is, magnanimously creating jobs for female Russian masseuses, and then POW, don’t look now, but there goes Steven Seagal, shooting at (illegal) Mexicans in Texas, […]

In an incredible stroke of almost unanimous nationwide good luck, students of 67,139 of the country’s 67,140 elementary schools got to go home after school today, to their parents, or guardians, or whoever is in charge of them, and they didn’t really have a bad time when they got there. They may have been hungry, […]

Here, courtesy of DailyKos, is President Barack Obama almost able (not really) to get through his statement on the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut. Surprisingly, no reporters in the White House briefing room shouted a dick question at him as he moved quickly from the podium. We guess Ghost Andrew Breitbart and his new minion Matthew […]