Wonkette

• In his concern for Bristol Palin’s privacy, Obama is now officially a better mother than Sarah. [Ben Smith]
• Palin actually wanted to build that pricey Alaskan superbridge, before all the persuasive backlash. [Ezra Klein]
• Oh, yes, so even more Palin fun facts will soon be revealed as your new Thomas Eagleton will go under oath to testify about Trooper-Gate. [TPM Muckraker]
• Country first: Sarah Palin thinks that the founding fathers said the Pledge of Allegiance. [Michael Tomasky]
• Thanks to Gustav, Barack Obama — the topical character who is not Sarah, Trig or Bristol Palin — had to cut short his motown karaoke crusade for Change. [Top of the Ticket]
• Sheriff Lott in the war-torn South Carolina has a new tank, complete with a belt-fed, turreted machine gun, the caliber of which is so horrific that even the US Army doesn’t like to use it. It is called the Peacemaker because of course. [Hit & Run]

Rudy Giuliani has always been a loser, but now he meets the narrower, more technical definition of the word, since he ran for president and lost lost lost lost ha ha ha ha LOST er, excuse us, he lost. Anyway, having nothing better to do but enjoy the company of his crazy new wife and loving children millions of dollars earned from 9/11-themed “leadership” talks, Rudy will no doubt go crawling back to the city where he grew up, and where his career was launched. Of course, when Rudy’s hometown paper went around the city to collect words of encouragement for him, New York’s inhabitants lived up to their nurturing, supportive reputation when asked what they thought of their ex-mayor’s valiant run at the presidency: MORE »

Ages ago, it seems, Bud Selig hired George Mitchell (and his law/lobbying firm, DLA Piper) to investigate the steroids-in-baseball controversy and make some policy recommendations. Mitchell held a presser to talk about the conclusions, blah, blah, blah. Whatever, you know you just want to know who he calls out!

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Given the amount of e-mail we get asking when Ana Marie Cox will “come back to save Wonkette,” we’ve gathered that feelings about this blog’s founding editor run strong. Many of the comments about her new job at Time.com were positive. Several were not. In the spirit of rewarding bad behavior, here’s the best of those. MORE »

Getting busted for painkiller abuse: sad/funny.
Getting busted for unprescribed Viagra: HYSTERICAL. MORE »