We commend the Secret Service agents assigned to Barack Obama, who have to put up with all of this INSANE crap he always announces a mere couple of weeks before big events, such as, “let’s not hold this historic rally in a safe, easily securable arena, let’s have it in a HUGE OPEN-AIR PLACE WITH GUNS EVERYWHERE.” Because the Obama campaign has chosen Chicago’s Grant Park, an enormous FIELD, as the venue for his election night rally, where he will deliver a speech, outdoors, in the dark. Why is Barack Obama trying to give everyone heart attacks? [The Swamp]

Beware. John McCain’s BRUTAL NO-HOLDS-BARRED RESPONSE AD OF DEATH about TONY REZKO is out, and you better be SCARED. Ha ha just kidding, it sucks. The ad distills Obama’s naive but benign relationship with Rezko into a more familiar, corrupt politician’s narrative: (1) Rezko bought Obama a house, so (2) Obama returned the favor by giving him $14 million in taxpayer money! Since this is a horrible lie, the narrator doesn’t actually say this, just chooses words that sound like he’s saying this. Too bad no one will ever care about this. [YouTube]

Ha ha ha, the President made a hilarious joke about not being able to speak our language correctly, which is only funny if you missed the past seven years. Still, it was funnier than the time he made a PowerPoint about not being able to find WMDs in the Oval Office.