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Posts Tagged “Scarlett Johansson”

scarlett johansson

Scarlett Johansson Dumps Obama For Some Canadian Actor

Hey look, that mumbly blonde from the Woody Allen movies was only engaged to Barack Obama for a few months before throwing him over for, uh, that guy from The Notebook. No wait that is Ryan Gosling. Anyhow, we hope this latest engagement may reach a merciful, swift conclusion so that Ms. Johansson can get back to the very important work of fucking Benicio Del Toro in elevators. [People]

scarlett johansson

Busty Actress Criticizes Most Powerful, Least Popular Man in America

When people who’ve been naked on the cover of Vanity Fair talk politics, America listens — how else do you think we got into Iraq but for Demi Moore’s tireless lobbying? Today’s critic of the administration: Scarlett Johansson. The popular-but-not-really-that-good actress thinks the President has unrealistic views of sex. Not the kind of unrealistic views propagated by Johansson’s cartoonishly voluptuous figure and breathy sex-kitten public persona, but the kind where no one uses birth control or has sex outside of marriage. More »