When people who’ve been naked on the cover of
Vanity Fair talk politics, America listens — how else do you think we got into Iraq but for Demi Moore’s tireless lobbying? Today’s critic of the administration: Scarlett Johansson. The popular-but-not-really-that-good actress thinks the President has unrealistic views of sex. Not the kind of unrealistic views propagated by Johansson’s cartoonishly voluptuous figure and breathy sex-kitten public persona, but the kind where no one uses birth control or has sex outside of marriage.
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Hey look, that mumbly blonde from the Woody Allen movies was only engaged to Barack Obama for a few months before throwing him over for, uh, that guy from The Notebook. No wait that is Ryan Gosling. Anyhow, we hope this latest engagement may reach a merciful, swift conclusion so that Ms. Johansson can get back to the very important work of fucking Benicio Del Toro in elevators. [People]
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