scandals
We know that various lipstick metaphors are the most important issues in the 2008 presidential election following eight years of George W. Bush, but we feel we should mention something about this new HIT PIECE from the liberal Nation magazine. In the above picture, John McCain and his campaign manager Rick Davis are boarding a [...]
Since this news headline alone goes above and beyond our joke-per-post quota, we’ll leave it at that. As soon as we determine the nature of this oil sex — as in, was it consensual middle-management heterosexual sex or was it, say, Republican big shots ass-raping young male slaves? — we will decide whether or not [...]
Ahh, it’s nice to see America’s Lawyer Class bravely challenging the fascist state’s overreach with a devastating reach-around of its own: “An attorney for U.S. Sen. Larry Craig told a Minnesota appeals court Wednesday that the lawmaker should be able to withdraw his guilty plea to a charge stemming from a gay sex sting arrest [...]
OFFICIAL TRIG PALIN BABY CONSPIRACY TIMELINE! Well, sure, let’s have Vanity Fair take a go at this thing. It’s a chart! [Vanity Fair]
Wonkette Pregnancy Expert Sara K. Smith decrees that these whispers about Sarah Palin not being that baby’s mama are absurd, because everybody knows John Edwards is the mother of that baby. This supposed cover-up is also terrifically quaint compared to the actual crimes that Alaskan politicians commit every day: bribery, servant monkey commerce, more bribery, [...]
Wonkette’s favorite GILF has now graduated to a losing ticket for vice president. Hooray for Sarah Palin, the new fake Hillary Clinton! And like the Clintons, Palin and her husband, “Todd,” are involved in a horrible scandal in their corrupt nothing state, and it’s about troopers. So let’s offer a brief background about this epic [...]
DID JOHN EDWARDS HAVE MORE SEX WITH LADIES?: Intrepid blog reporter Choire Sicha hears that a New York Times Metro reporter is digging into “a story about John Edwards and a Duke graduate.” We are Ethical and don’t want to spread scurrilous rumors, but maybe John Edwards has been fucking a Duke graduate? Maybe John [...]
THEY’RE MORE LIKE ‘GUIDELINES’: Attorney General Michael Mukasey announced today that former Justice Department officials like Monica Goodling will not face prosecution for hiring D.O.J. staffers based explicitly on their political views — i.e. how many awesome things they could say about Alberto Gonzalez in 20-second lightning round interviews. Mukasey’s statement came replete with a [...]
JOHN EDWARDS WAS GROSS TO MAUREEN DOWD, TOO: “Back in 2002, Edwards sent me a Ken doll dressed in bathing trunks, Rio de Janeiro Ken, with a teasing note, because he didn’t like my reference to him as a Ken doll in a column. In retrospect, the comparison was not fair — to Ken.” [New [...]
“JEFFERSON CITY — Missouri state Rep. Scott Muschany, R-Frontenac, was indicted today in connection with a reported sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl on May 17, the day after this year’s Legislative session ended.” What, were all the 14-year-old boys already taken by the other celebrating Republican legislators?
Here’s John Edwards on June 7, 2007, receiving a Father Of The Year award with his cancer wife Elizabeth in attendance. Rielle’s Hunter’s child was born on February 27, 2008, making the gap between these two events 8 months and 20 days. In other words, Rielle Hunter was hiding in this podium and John Edwards [...]
It is not even a slow news day, but all the news is about tire pressure so kill us now. So we went to Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig’s webpage to see if anything gay was going on and lo and behold, everything gay was going on, in this one screen cap. What a frightening [...]
SEX CREEPS: “One day, between now and January, this alleged scandal will have to be addressed — and if John Edwards did nothing more than pay a friendly late night Beverly Hills hotel visit to his former videographer who was impregnated by his married loyalist friend, so be it. He can explain himself and go [...]
Today, a federal grand jury indicted Alaskan Sen. Ted Stevens on seven counts of “filing false financial disclosures.” Stevens is the biggest catch in a four-year-old corruption investigation involving pretty much all Alaskan politicians, one that’s complicated not because of the crimes committed — lots of bribery, basically — but because there was so freaking [...]
